River's End: River on Fire Part 19

She lifted herself off him, nodding her agreement. He got off the bed and grabbed his pile of clean clothing, which he slipped on, looking more like normal Joey again.

Putting his hand out, he beckoned her. She smiled softly and got onto her feet, placing his hand in hers and letting him pull her with him. Now they were prepared to go out and face what was left of his family's ranch and resort.

Chapter Seventeen.

THEY WALKED OVER TO where the main house still smoldered. The sky became a crazy, rose-colored background as the sun set against the streaming gray and black smoke. The fire was only ten percent contained and a sense of dread ruffled through them.

Joey gripped Hailey's hand in his and clutched it tightly. He was so glad she stayed there for him. The conversation they had kept replaying through his head. Maybe he hadn't lost her after all. This ruthless fire that manage to rip their world to shreds, had also, quite strangely, brought Hailey back to him. He glanced at her, noticing how rustled and mussed her blond hair was. She didn't even bother to comb it after his dirty hands were finished with it. Joey's body flexed and jerked as he remembered the wild, out of control s.e.x they'd just indulged in. It was clingy and needy and life-reaffirming... but for Joey, it was another manifestation of their love. His heart swelled with joy as he pictured them together again, and actually considered that she might still be in his life. He squeezed her hand as poignant thoughts filled his head. She glanced up and smiled knowingly, then she nodded to convey her understanding of his need to keep touching her. He had to reaffirm she was alive and well as she stood there beside him. Her mere presence, after everything else he most loved and took for granted seemed so tilted and irrevocably altered, affected him more deeply than he could describe. Hailey was there. She squeezed his hand with hers to show her support.

Family. He found his family examining the remains of their former house. As they walked up, he asked Shane, "Jack?"

Shane shook his head, indicating nothing.

Joey joined the quiet, disturbing search of sifting through the rubble for anything salvageable, but there wasn't much left. Just charred ruins. He stared up at the scorched fireplace. Closing his eyes, he instantly pictured it next to the dinner table, and Jack grumbling at him when he was only seventeen to get his a.s.s up and help out. He saw Charlie and Ben and him, eating whatever his older brothers served them for dinner. Unconventional. Sure. All of it was. But it was home. And a d.a.m.n good one at that. Joey nearly collapsed to his knees as the treasured memories besieged him. G.o.dd.a.m.n it. Why did their home have to burn?

Ian and Shane were as quiet as Joey. Charlie walked around, looking like a lost zombie. Joey went over to him.

"Tough, huh, Charlie?"

Charlie shrugged, but the tears filling his eyelids belied his casual demeanor. He gripped his nephew's narrow shoulders in his hands and said, "It will be okay. In the end, we'll find a way to make this okay again. We'll rebuild it better than before and fix all the problems. Like always. This isn't the first time we Rydells skinned our knees. We always get up again."

Charlie nodded, his mouth quivering. Joey sighed and hugged the kid to him. "Unfortunately, that doesn't make the present moment any better, does it?"

"No, it doesn't." Joey turned to find Erin beside him. She looked haggard and just as grief-stricken as the rest of them. He pulled her against him in a close hug. She wrapped her arms around him and started to cry again.

"I haven't heard from him. I know we can't yet. But... G.o.d, Joey, what do you think this will do to him? Ben? He can't-"

Her sobs cut off the rest of her words. Joey hugged her closer to him, trying to absorb her mountain of grief.

Erin shook her head and leaned back, looking downward. She tried to dry her eyes with the hem of her shirt and glanced up at Charlie and Hailey, who were standing behind Joey. "I'm sorry, I can't get a grip. I should. I should be strong and gung ho about rebuilding and all that. But... the house. And Marcy. I can't believe all this is really happening."

"None of us can," Joey answered, releasing her. The rest of the family gathered around and a morbid quiet descended over all. Amidst the exhaustion and tears came intermittent sobs. There were no words. And nothing left to say. Yet, they didn't want to be alone.

Erin put her hands up to end the inaction. "So what do we do? Today? What can we do now?"

"We can wait. Stay here. Get up tomorrow and start cleaning up," Ian answered in a solemn tone.

Then Jack's truck came roaring down the driveway. After he parked and got out, the dirt on his pale face hid his expression, although his eyes looked frantic. Erin and Charlie both stared at him, and he stopped dead after he slammed his truck door closed. Joey had never seen Jack like that. He seemed so... so lost. Shaken. Nothing remotely like Jack in his unfamiliar expression.

Jack stared at all of them and said, "He's gone."

Erin's hands covered her mouth and she pressed her knuckles into her lips as she mumbled, "What do you mean, he's gone?"

Jack threw his hands up, indicating his despair. "Ben's gone. He took off. I didn't reach him in time. I had phone service for a few briefs moments and that's what I got." He threw his phone to Erin, who caught it and shook her head as she handed it to Joey, who was closest to her. Her hands started to shake and she rubbed a fist in her eye.

"I can't read anything right now. I'm too upset."

Joey marveled at how upset Jack must have been since he never would have asked Erin to read something as if he a.s.sumed she easily could.

His mouth hung open after he scanned it. Then he glanced around him. "Ben took off. It says, 'Marcy's dead. I can't come home. Don't come after me, just leave me alone.' Then, in another text, he added on simply, 'I'm sorry.'"

Jack grabbed his head and kept running his hands through his hair while pressing into his temples as if he were being stabbed through his eye sockets. He grimaced in pain and nearly doubled over to his knees. Erin rushed forward, wrapping her arms around him. He started shaking his head and repeating, "He's gone. She's gone." When he briefly glanced up and looked around the place, it was like the pupils in his eyes couldn't contract. "It's all gone."

Erin hugged him and Charlie stared with hollow eyes and a hurt expression. He quietly slipped away and Cami followed after him. Jack didn't even notice their absence, which surprised Joey since it was so unlike him not to be attuned to his boys at all times. That was how he always was with Joey. Jack was often over protective and sometimes overbearing but it was owing to his unconditional love, and his intense desire to make the lives of his kids and his youngest brother better than his. Joey was glad he was included in that exclusive club. Even now, Jack seemed more like his dad than his brother, and seeing him collapse was more than scary to Joey. Jack just didn't do that.

Ian stepped forward. "But we're all here. We're not leaving. You're not alone, Jack. Kailynn and I already decided we're moving home for good. I'm here now."

Shane nodded, coming closer. "Us too."

Joey took Hailey's hand and clasped it tightly in his as he glanced at her. She saw regret in his eyes, but he faced his brothers and added, "Me too."

AJ was holding onto Kate's hand and stepped forward as he announced, "I'm here too. We are both here and not leaving." He sought Kate's gaze and she nodded with a resolute expression.

Jack seemed dazed as he stared at them in disbelief. "This place is a f.u.c.king albatross. What's the point of staying? Look at it." He twirled his hand around and indicated all the rubble.

Allison's tears began flowing as she entered the ever tightening circle. "G.o.dd.a.m.n it. Jack Rydell, don't you dare talk like that. This is my home. Our home. Rosie's home." She touched her stomach. "As well as the new baby that I'm carrying. How dare you say it's over."

Everyone's gaze flickered to Allison's stomach and she smiled through her glistening tears. "Yes, we're expecting another baby."

Joey's heart lifted as soft exclamations rustled through them all.

Erin glanced up at Jack, touching his face with her hand. "There's been so much tragedy. I don't deny it, Jack; but look around yourself. We are all still here, ready to do whatever is necessary to restore our lives. We already have so many blessings and so many more to come."

His shoulders slumped and he didn't raise his head. "This is just too much loss. I can't-"

Erin gripped his shoulders, almost shaking him. "Think of what has been gained. Kate, Cami, AJ, Kailynn, Allison, Rosie, another baby... and me. You have a whole crew, Jack. We'll help you. You're not alone anymore in doing the repairs and handling all this wreckage. We're here, for you, and we'll stand beside you as always."

Jack's gaze flickered up finally, and he looked at Erin's pale, tragic face, before glancing at Ian and Shane and Joey. He slowly went around the circle and looked deeply into everyone's eyes. He addressed Ian first. "You guys are really coming home for good?"

Ian nodded, and his expression was solemn. "Yeah. For good."

"What about Kailynn's new job?"

Kailynn shrugged, and fresh tears filled her eyelids. "I can get another one. But I can't get another family. My dad's trailer burned, so he needs to live with us. Which means my brothers will be living with us. We found Caleb and he's fine. It's not just you who lost things, Jack. We're all needed here, and we're fully prepared to be here. We're staying for good."

Jack lifted his gaze to Joey. "What about Hailey? How can you promise that? What if you want to-?"

"I live here too, Jack. That doesn't change. We already figured it out, what we want."

He finally asked Allison, "You're really pregnant?"

She nodded and smiled. "Yes. And we lost our home too. But we can rebuild it better than before. We'll grieve, sure we will, all of us, but we can all rebuild, Jack."

"Kate?" he said to his sister.

"Your wife has already invited me to live with you. So Jack, you're not getting rid of us, no matter what you were hoping," she said. She was also smiling, but her eyes were full of tears too. Jack finally nodded and didn't say anything else. He didn't agree or disagree, but turned to Erin.

"I'm so tired. I think I just need to go... home."

"Okay. Sure, let's go home. And then I'll go check on Charlie." Jack nodded absently but it was the first time Joey ever saw Jack allowing anyone else but him to go check on his upset son.

She nodded, glancing around. Joey's gut felt shaky. Jack was acting so unlike his indomitable former self. Their family leader and guru. Always the first to solve a problem, and tackle whatever needed to be done. Always their cheerleader, encouraging them to work hard and never give up. Not this dejected sh.e.l.l of Jack. Hopeless. Dazed. Almost as though someone had beaten him up.

After an awkward pause, Ian straightened up . "I think this might be the last straw. You know, the one that broke Jack's back. He-they are going to need us more than ever now. All of us. The next few months won't be easy either. This thing with Marcy... and Ben? I don't know how I'd handle it but we have to give Jack plenty of s.p.a.ce and time."

Shane grunted. "Yeah. But like you always said, as long as there is a Rydell still breathing, this place will go on. Right? It's burned up right now, but nothing is really gone. The gra.s.s and trees will grow back. We can replant the ones we lost. We can rebuild all the structures and do it faster and better than the first time. Water features can be added to protect us next time. It's the land that counts. That is our backbone. It's not going anywhere." Shane kicked his toe on the charred ground beneath him defiantly.

Joey nodded along with everyone else and added, "For once, we need to take the lead. Not Jack. Maybe we all just owe him, you know? He gave up his entire youth for us. Maybe it's time we repaid him."

"I agree, and that was well said," Ian chorused with a smile and a nod of approval. Another long silence ensued because every single adult was concerned that Jack, their leader, was simply going home. But after the day's events, that was all Jack seemed capable of doing. Going home and abandoning them all, or so it felt like. Whatever, Joey now understood something big had shifted in the dynamics of the family.

Their hearts heavy, the tired, beaten family members all retreated to Ian's house when night fell, eating dinner together. Jack and Erin were noticeably absent so Charlie stayed with the others and was eventually coaxed into eating something. There was nothing for anyone to do tonight, and trying to figure out what to do tomorrow seemed too burdensome.

There were no serious conversations and Joey marveled when everyone started talking about stupid s.h.i.t. Someone started making fun of the summer schedule of shows and reality TV, saying that it sucked a.s.s in his opinion but that drew Cami into the conversation, which soon resulted in an animated discussion that ended in smiling and laughing. It was an odd reaction at the end of a day, just as morbid and deadly as it was life changing. Joey realized that it was all too much for everyone and felt happy that they finally let off steam.

Then two headlights flashed through the window as a car pa.s.sed the house. He paused and his stomach cramped. What now? What more could happen? He was so tired, his eyelids couldn't stay open and despite how hard he struggled to stay awake, he wasn't ready to be away from his family. It was an odd sensation. But why now? What else could have happened? What more could go wrong today?

Joey, too weary to rise on his feet, waved at Ian to answer it. Ian jerked the door open before the visitor could even knock. Was it someone with word about Ben? More details about what happened to Marcy? Was the fire returning? The thoughts left Joey with his head hanging. He could not handle any more bad news.

Hailey suddenly gasped and shot to her feet. His gaze jumped as fast as he reacted to her unexpected response. Brent. Her ex was standing in his brother's doorway. All at once, a streak shot through the door and landed in Hailey's arms.

Brianna.

She was crying uncontrollably and clutching her mother's body close to her.

Joey was instantly on his feet as he watched them wearily. What the h.e.l.l were they doing here? He hated feeling the stab of regret. He wasn't ready to let Hailey go. Not tonight. He had never been so in need of companionship in his life. Every nerve ending in his body was exposed to the air, it seemed, and pain kept shooting through them. He was so tired, his numb brain could not comprehend why they were there.

Jacob stood beside his father, glancing around with big eyes and watching his mom and sister.

Hailey, ever the mother, rubbed her daughter's hair and hugged her to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She finally lifted her head up and Hailey slicked Brianna's blonde hair off her forehead, tucking it lovingly behind her ears.

She kept shushing her and soothing Brianna's sobs. So much crying today. Joey was utterly unable to begin to make sense of what they were doing back here.

Finally Brianna tore free of her mother and glanced at them all. Joey winced, almost forgetting her friendship with Charlie and Cami. It wasn't just about him. Brianna had another connection to them and this place. "We-we heard. About Marcy. It was on the news. I-oh, Mom, I was so mean."

Joey had no idea what one statement had to do with the other. He glanced at Brent, who met his gaze across the room. Through his befuddled exhaustion, Joey decided he had to deal with them even though he didn't want to.

"Come in," he said quietly. They did. Brent and his son remained standing together, obviously feeling awkward in the home of Joey's family.

"We're sorry. To interrupt. And just show up now. But Brianna... Well, she was inconsolable. It was on the national news. The fire... they said it's the biggest in Washington State's history. There were pictures of your ranch, and the burned homes... and after Marcy and the man were found, Brianna just needed her mother."

Joey nodded. It would have to be this way. The very things Hailey often tried to warn him about. Brianna and Jacob came first and always would come first. Watching the girl cling to her mother, Joey couldn't help contrasting it to the ways Brianna previously disdained her. But like any typical teen, when in need, only her mother would suffice.

Brent cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Joey. Really sorry. It looks pretty bad."

Joey sighed. "It is. But thanks, I appreciate it."

They stood in silence, but it wasn't awkward anymore. It was just... silence.

Finally, Brianna's sobs slowed down and Joey was relieved when Allison said, "I think we'll go home."

Ian and Kailynn gently added that they were going to bed. Kate and AJ took Cami and Charlie home, but only after the kids all hugged and the girls cried. Their girlish voices were talking so fast and furiously, Joey's brain-dead mind couldn't keep up. He finally sank onto the couch. The Starr family... and Joey were alone. He sighed. Still too charged up by the day's events to feel as strangely as he might have. He leaned forward, bringing his fingertips together and staring at them for a long moment as Hailey greeted Jacob. They had a much quieter reunion.

No wonder she stressed so much about his age. The black and white reality of her life's responsibilities were so much more demanding than his. And even today, this darkest of days for his family, her priority remained the needs of her kids. They would always come before him. Not that he resented them being there, it was just a glimpse of their future together.

He glanced at Brent. What did he feel sitting inside his ex-wife's boyfriend's brother's house? Driving all the way over here after his kids demanded he take them clear across the state just to find consolation in their mother?

He sneered. Stupid f.u.c.k. Giving up Hailey was his loss, and Joey's gain. He felt it in his gut now, her love was deep and real and sustaining. Brianna and Jacob would never be his kids. They were too old and he was too young. He clearly could see Hailey's quandary and why she had such a hard time deciding what to do. It wasn't because of that dynamic but rather, his feelings being hurt; that's why she was so insecure about them.

He respected the relationship she had with her kids. He was impressed seeing how much they needed her and how she responded to them. He could do that. He could support her. He could also be friends with them. And try to make his transition into their life as painless on them as he could. All they needed was time. Time to accept their mom "dating" a younger man than some might have expected. Time in which he would have to resist the urge to start groping their mother. Maybe, after enough time, he'd find a way to be around her kids without any awkwardness or false pretenses.

Brianna's face was a red mess, all blotchy and soggy, just like her mother's and every other person Joey laid eyes on today. She finally looked at him as she blushed a scarlet red. "I-I'm sorry about what happened here. To your family. And-to Marcy."

Joey smiled despite his exhaustion. "Thank you, Brianna. I appreciate you saying that."

"You guys came back because of the news?" Hailey suddenly interrupted. "I'm sorry I didn't call. There was no phone service whatsoever around here; and I didn't give a thought to the news coverage. You must have been so worried." Her gaze landed on Brent. In a voice tight with strain, she nodded her head down and up. "Thank you for bringing them back, Brent."

Brent sighed and glanced around, holding up his hands as though he were giving up. "Seems today was a real game changer. Strictly about your safety and them needing you. I know how much they do, Hails."

Joey flinched at the nickname, but Hailey didn't even notice it. Joey decided not to be a jealous a.s.shole. He could act like the adult he was expected to be and ignore it. He could grit his teeth and deal with Hailey and her ex, and her kids and accept that they were still connected, in a way he'd never be with Hailey. Because he and Hailey would not share kids.

But Joey felt deep in his gut that was okay with him, and something he could live with. Both that he wouldn't have kids and that Brent would always be in the picture.

Brent addressed Joey. "I'm sorry to come here like this and move in on your family, Joey. I really, really am. This is... so beyond anything that we expected. This is... I'm just so sorry. It's such a..."

"Your kids needed their mom." Joey's tone sounded hollow, due to the extreme exhaustion that now overcame him. He also hated the growing respect that now filled him. Brent's tone was subdued and polite and Joey didn't doubt his sincerity. And it would have been so much easier to hate him.

But for Hailey's sake alone, he would behave, if not for the sake of Brent. After a significant pause, Joey added, "And I'm glad you brought them to her." Brent nodded as they solemnly faced each other. Were they making some kind of peace? Maybe. That's what today might have accomplished. It trivialized everything else. Whatever seemed important before now just vanished like dust in the wind.

Joey cleared his throat. "This house is already full; but my house still has some room. I realize that's awkward, and my brother, Shane, and his wife are staying there, but they'd welcome you."

"Oh, uh, no. We can't put you out. I didn't think that hard about this before we left. Brianna begged me, she was so hysterical, so I had to come and we just came. I don't expect you to put us up. I mean, not after what happened..."

"There's nowhere else to go. Everything's on fire or closed or evacuated. People are just getting their first glimpses of the remains and debris. The power is still out, as you can tell." He swiped his hand around at the room, which was dimly illuminated by candles. Most of the power poles from the ranch to Pattinson had also burned up. It would take the PUD weeks, if not longer, to restore them all. They still had back-up generators, but not enough of them to power the entire ranch. Tomorrow, they'd figure out the logistics of running whatever was left of the place. They'd need all their fuel and generators to restart the pumps and get water flowing back to the orchards. They had to irrigate. It would cost thousands to run the generators just to push the water through the sprinkler system. The temperature forecast was still in the high nineties. Joey's head started to pound when he estimated all the things they had to do and deal with. The endless details. The ch.o.r.es of rebuilding. The ceaseless repairs. He kind of understood why Jack was bowing under the pressure of it all. He felt the same depression and had to fight it when it threatened to swallow him up too.

"We can't-"

"You can, Brent. They needed to be here, my kids, with me. I'm glad you're here too, and thank you." Hailey smiled at her kids. "I know Joey still has some food." She didn't add how she bought it during the time she more or less lived with me, Joey thought sarcastically. "Why don't we go there and see what we can scrounge up?"