Risk Assessment Part 12

'Is that it?' asked Rhys, disappointed.

Gwen listened to the angry shouts of the Traffic Police for as long as she could. 'Look, I appreciate that,' she said. 'But there's nothing I can do to stop it from moving, so it really is over to you guys to do your best.'

There was more shouting.

'I can't say exactly what it is. No, that's "can't" as in "don't know" rather than "shan't", but believe me, it's as lethal as any chemical spill and a bit nippier. So it's best to treat it as the worst chemical spill ever. Keep everyone well back. Yes, I have seen the news and yes, that looks like it, and yes. . . there is a lot of it. . . and. . . thank you.'

She hung up.

'Would you like me to handle the next call?' asked Agnes pleasantly, looking round from the shuddering bulk as it shifted its inexorable, foul way onto the main Penarth Road. In the distance, Gwen could hear the wail of fresh sirens and the angry blaring of horns.

Gwen shrugged and rang Rhys. She was justifying it as 'warning him of potential major traffic disruption' rather than 'calling in for a bit of sanity'. There was no answer.

She nearly rang Large Mandy in the office to check on his whereabouts.

Agnes marched over to where Ianto was conferring with a clutch of policemen. 'Well,' she said, 'I fancy it's time we tested those force-field barriers.'

Ianto opened up a metal case and started handing the policemen squat boxes. 'Now,' he said to them. 'Any of you home cinema fans?'

A hand shot up.

'Excellent. Dolby Surround Sound?'

The policeman nodded.

'b.u.g.g.e.r to set up, wasn't it?'

Another nod.

'Well, this is like that. These are portable force-field generators. Stick one on top of your squad cars and reverse very slowly down the road and try and keep in line with each other. In theory we should have a barrier that keeps that creature at bay.'

'Can we see it?' asked one of the policemen.

Ianto made a face. 'Sadly no. We're not the Watchmen,' he said. 'No blue sparkles. It's invisible. But each box will emit a little ping uh PING! happy sound if it's in line. You'll get two pings PINGPING if it's wandering slightly and then, if the field has collapsed you'll hear PEEPEEPPEEP. At that point, please get out of your car and run.'

He handed round the little boxes.

'Any questions?'

A hand shot up. Ianto ignored it. 'Right off you go. Drive carefully. You are all that's between that monster and Ikea.'

The policemen shuffled away, and Ianto exhaled.

'Do you think it's going to work?' Agnes asked him.

Ianto shrugged. 'In theory, but I just don't. . . you know. . . There's something about that creature.'

'We will tame it,' said Agnes. 'You have to believe that.'

Ianto watched the police cars swerve around the creature and then out into the road. A distant pinging sounded. 'Well, if we fail, I'm sure the Americans will invade.'

The lift snapped into place with a gust of cold air, and Rhys found himself standing in front of the Millennium Centre, its entrance blocked by four trucks, their drivers stood smoking and muttering in front of them.

'Hi guys!' he said, and they suddenly noticed him striding towards them carrying a bulging Lidl bag.

They mumbled h.e.l.lo. 'What's in the bag, Rhys?' one of them chuckled.

Rhys dropped it at their feet. 'Lads,' he said. 'How do you fancy a spot of Black Ops?'

Jack bounded up as the trucks rattled off. 'Happy?' he asked.

'Double overtime, hundred quid bonus, course they're happy,' said Rhys. 'They're not going to be in any danger, are they?'

Jack reached into his pockets, peeled off a roll of banknotes and slipped them into a crumpled brown envelope which he handed to Rhys. He shrugged. 'To be frank, humanity's got a few days left at most. So I wouldn't worry too much but they should be fine.'

'OK,' said Rhys uncertainly. 'Where were you?'

'Belt and braces much more fun to undo both,' Jack smiled. 'I was picking up something from the medical bay. Let's get back to Mr Blobby. Now, where's my transport?'

'Ah,' said Rhys.

The Vam looked at the police cars with their force wall. It stretched out to it, gently extruding feelers, working out the size and shape and distance of it. And, all the time, it let its pace match that of the cars.

It let them think that it was contained.

Gwen put down the binoculars. 'It's going OK,' she breathed.

Agnes shook her head. 'I am not so sure.'

As each car rolled back along the road it went ping. . . ping. . . ping.

When the Vam roared out and poured over the force shield it did so in about ten seconds. It simply flowed around it, regrouping and isolating the police cars, gently crumpling the force field as it went.

Peep. Peep. Peep.

The policemen threw open the doors of their cars and ran for their lives.

Agnes shut her eyes and, very quietly, said, 'd.a.m.n.'

'What's the next move?' asked Gwen.

Agnes stepped out onto the road. 'Well,' she said, slowly, 'Contact Captain Jack Harkness. I am going to go and talk to that creature.'

The Vam watched Agnes approach. Her step was measured, her appearance neat. She raised her loudhailer.

'Good day,' she said. 'I should like to speak with you.'

The Vam stopped moving.

Agnes stepped closer.

The Vam quivered gently in the breeze. It appeared to be listening.

Agnes breathed deeply and got ready to speak.

A seagull settled on the Vam and vanished. Agnes watched its alarmed struggles briefly, and then raised her loudhailer, keeping her voice controlled and calm.

'I should like to speak with you,' she repeated. 'I believe it would be best.'

The Vam shivered in the wind.

'One last chance,' said Agnes. 'I wish only a good outcome for everyone. Others will come after me who are not so well intentioned.'

She lowered the loudhailer and folded her arms.

And then the Vam ate her.

XIII.

APPEARANCE AND.

DISAPPEARANCE.

In which the plans of a steel soldier are thwarted, the Vam learns of its true nature, and Mrs Cooper is betrayed by an egg Gwen gasped.

'Not good, not good,' said Ianto.

'Jack,' said Gwen, and frantically dialled his number. 'We really, really need you.'

It was hot at the top of the crane. The cabin spun as the arm swung round erratically. Agnes lay semi-conscious on the cabin floor. The steel soldier turned at the sound of the door opening.

Battered, bleeding, but still going, Captain Jack Harkness hoisted himself into the cabin.

The steel soldier stared at him with his metal face. 'Jack!' he cried, his voice slurred. 'Enough!'

Jack steadied himself with difficulty. 'No, Sergeant. I'm not giving up till I stop you.'

Agnes dragged herself off the floor. 'Harkness is like a bad penny,' she said thickly. She managed the trace of a smile.

The steel soldier grabbed Agnes and held her between the two of them, his gun at her temples. 'Another step, Captain, and I destroy her.'

Agnes's eyes widened, and she looked at Jack in horror.

'Have you met her?' drawled Jack.

Agnes stared.

'I mean, you know, she looks pretty enough in an older sister way, but when she opens her mouth it's all pickled eggs and Baden Powell.' He shrugged. 'Shoot away, tin man.'

The steel soldier made a noise a bit like a laugh, and its artificial voice box rattled. 'You spend so much time fighting each other. Is it any wonder it's been so easy to bring you down? Especially when you answer to this bluestocking.'

'Yeah, well,' said Jack. 'Torchwood has a history of over-promoting zealous women. We were founded by one, after all.'

'The history of Torchwood does not concern me any more.' The steel solder took a step closer to Jack. 'I merely wish to end it. Now.'

'Well,' said Jack. 'Not now, really. I mean, we've still got a couple of minutes. To talk.'

'What about?'

'Oh, I dunno. Metal limbs. World domination.'

Agnes tore her mouth free of the steel soldier's grasp. 'For G.o.d's sake, Harkness, do something!'

'And she's back in the room.' Jack shrugged. 'We won't get a word in edgeways now.'

The steel soldier grinned a tin smile and turned to look at Agnes. 'I could just kill her.'

Jack nodded. 'Probably easiest.'

As the site of an impending apocalypse, the toy shop car park had seen a remarkable number of things, not the least of which was a battered yellow van pulling up and, miraculously, Captain Jack Harkness climbing out of it. With as much dignity as he could manage, he walked over to Gwen and Ianto.

'Gwen! Looking commanding! Ianto! Good enough to eat! Now where's Agnes?' He rubbed his hands together as though spoiling for a fight.

Gwen laid a hand on Jack's shoulder, more for her own support than for his. 'Agnes. . .' she began.

'... was also good enough to eat,' completed Ianto. 'Sadly.'

'Oh,' said Jack. He looked over at the Vam. 'Good luck with digesting that!' he called.

'Jack!' cried Gwen.

'What?' Jack said, mock innocently. 'She's a tough old bird. Now, let's put the poor thing out of its misery.'

'How can you?' shouted Gwen. 'She. . .'

'Made a bad call.' Jack shrugged. 'Happens to us all.'

He strode off.

The steel soldier tightened his grip on the trigger, pressing a mark the size of a shilling into Agnes's temple.

'Of course,' said Agnes quietly, 'once you kill me, there will be nothing to stop Jack from killing you.'

The steel soldier laughed. 'Torchwood brought me back from the dead. But this is not a life.'

'You have value to us,' said Agnes. 'And that is important.'