Rhyn Eternal: Deidre's Death Part 19

He had never doubted himself before. He couldn't afford to now but there was a part of him that hurt.

Deidre stirred from behind him. She took the hand he rested on her forehead into both of hers. Gabriel didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel," she whispered again.

"So am I." He squeezed her hands.

"Do you hate me now?"

"No," he said quietly. "I'm angry."

"At me."

"Yes and at myself."

"You did nothing wrong, Gabriel. I did. I thought I was doing right."

"I know," he replied. "Deidre, is there anything else?"

She was quiet for a moment. Her hands left his. He heard her stir and shift. Gabriel shifted to see her. Her hair was mussed.

"Yes," the word was barely audible. "We made a deal."

"Who?" he asked, unwilling to tell her that he already knew the answer to this question.

"Deidre and I did. In h.e.l.l. She challenged me to win you over in a week like she did."

"What was at stake?" He felt cold. By the tremor in her voice, she knew she'd lost this one as well as he did.

"Oh, only my soul," she replied with a half-laugh. "We were both a little emotional at the time. I didn't realize ... anything."

Gabriel rose and paced. It was worse than he thought. The firm a.s.sertion of Darkyn's mate that she bore no one ill-will made more sense when he understood why she said it. She may not, but Darkyn ... what would he do to get the soul of past-Death? The Dark One had let it go once as part of a deal. He wasn't going to let her go again.

"At least I can't kill you," he mused. "We'll keep you safe until we can return home. He can't go there."

"Does it really matter? You can't ever love me."

He wanted to agree out of anger but couldn't. The truth was he never fully stopped, because he couldn't.

"I'll always take care of you," he replied. It was better for both Deidres if he worked to ensure his mate never died-dead. "We need some time to ... deal with all of this."

There might one day be a way to win her soul back. If he kept her alive and well and his eye on any potential opportunity to rake the Dark One over the coals, he'd do it.

Never mind that they bartered over his love like some sort of prize to be won at a fair. Never mind both women had not only betrayed his trust to make deals with Darkyn, but would soon both have their souls owned by the Dark One.

Near the boiling point, Gabriel drew a deep breath.

"I'll be hunting demons today," he said, needing a release for his fury. "Stay at the fortress."

Deidre said nothing. He left, barely able to see straight let alone think straight.

When he was done killing demons, he'd interrogate the death dealer he had sitting in a cell at the bottom of the fortress. He wanted the dealer scared but not dead, and right now, he didn't think he'd be able to handle a traitor without ripping off his head.

Day Five.

Chapter Twelve.

The portals were unlocked. Deidre tested them three times but was afraid of p.i.s.sing off Gabriel by disobeying him so early in the day. Of course, it didn't matter, since he was already angry. Tell him the truth hurt more than she thought.

With nothing else to lose, all she could think about was what happened to the human she left in h.e.l.l. The news of their deal had infuriated Gabriel once more and driven him off, leading Deidre to believe that he had loved the human more than her. It was a brutal realization, one that left her devastated but also guiltier than ever.

She couldn't start to make things right with him, if she didn't start there. Gabriel had seen human-Deidre but said nothing about what shape she was in. Deidre needed to see Darkyn's mate herself, to face what horror she'd committed before she was able to understand the consequences of her actions.

Deidre entered the shadow world and summoned the human she'd left in h.e.l.l. After a moment, a form emerged from the black portal.

Darkyn's mate stopped as soon as she was through.

Deidre's heart flipped in her chest. She almost cried out in relief. The human was alive and well. Still wearing the garb of h.e.l.l, Darkyn's mate was sporting fangs with her pink hair and a heavy sultriness that made Deidre look twice.

"h.e.l.lo," Darkyn's mate spoke first in a hushed voice.

"h.e.l.lo," Deidre replied. "My G.o.ds, what happened to you? Darkyn turned you into a s.e.x-demon?"

"I guess if you give a man the ability to build his own mate, he'll make her a tramp." The Dark One's mate rolled her eyes.

Deidre stared at her then gave a startled laugh. She didn't expect to find the human alive, let alone of a mindset to make a joke.

The moment turned awkward. Their first and only exchange hadn't been pleasant and resulted in a deal made under duress. Deidre didn't know what to say. Her perspective of everything was too different now for her to recall what happened with anything but regret.

Darkyn's mate ducked her head and crossed her arms.

"You called me?" she asked.

"I guess I wanted to see how you're faring," Deidre managed.

"Weird, but good," she replied. "You?"

"You're doing good." Deidre smiled. "I'm really glad to hear it."

"You mean surprised?"

"No. I mean, yes, I am surprised, but I'm also glad," Deidre said. "I, uh, know now what I did wasn't the best route to take. You must hate me."

"I don't."

An awkward silence fell. Darkyn's mate was gazing at her. There was hurt in her eyes but not the anger Deidre expected.

She's not broken like we are, Wynn had told Deidre before she left h.e.l.l. She began to see what he meant. The human bore her no ill-will. Deidre didn't understand how that was possible.

"How can I help you?" Darkyn's mate asked.

"I'm pretty sure no one can," Deidre admitted, embarra.s.sed when the last word came out choked. She cleared her throat. "I'm failing miserably. Darkyn stripped my power when I left h.e.l.l. I thought it'd be easy. I mean you humans ... I guess you make it look simple. You know I couldn't figure out how to turn on the shower? I won't tell you how fascinating I find kitchen appliances."

Darkyn's mate smiled.

"I'm just not getting some things," Deidre said. She paused, sighing. "Like emotions. I never knew there were so many. I don't know how to control them or to make decisions when they're always there just confusing me."

"You're starting from scratch," Darkyn's mate said. "You have to go easier on yourself. Take time to learn the new things and try not be so frustrated with yourself."

Deidre stared at her. "How can you be so ... nice?"

Darkyn's mate flushed.

"I mean, you're in h.e.l.l maybe even being torn to pieces every day and you're being kind to me. I don't understand any of this."

"I guess I pity you."

Pity. Deidre face grew warm. Wynn was wrong about her being broken. No, she was lost like the souls sitting in the mortal lakes.

"Why did you want to see me now?" Darkyn's mate asked. "You could've checked up on me at any point."

It was a fair question. A brutal one but fair nonetheless. Deidre thought hard about how to respond.

"I'm not sure," she replied. "I guess I was afraid to see what I'd done. I kept hoping things would just go well. I told Gabe about what I did to you yesterday, and he walked out on me."

"That's rough," Darkyn's mate murmured.

"I'm f.u.c.king up everything," Deidre continued. "He came back but he's barely speaking to me. Like he's there but I'm not."

"I remember the cold shoulder. He's good at pushing people away."

"I figured I had nothing to lose now. I might as well see what all I'd f.u.c.ked up," Deidre finished. "I wanted to check on you. If you were alive, I wanted to see if you had any ... advice about how to deal with Gabriel."

Turmoil crossed the features of Darkyn's mate. She took a deep breath.

"Well, first, you didn't f.u.c.k me over. I thought you did at first and I'll admit, I'm not completely certain things might not break bad, but for now, I'm fine. Darkyn hasn't hurt me and won't. Look." She turned to show her back.

Deidre gasped, understanding now how Darkyn planned on ensuring his mate didn't go anywhere, even after she won their deal.

"Oh my G.o.d!" she exclaimed. "He blood-bound you! That crafty son of a b.i.t.c.h!"

"In case I win our deal." Darkyn's mate flushed and cleared her throat. "Sorry. Seems kinda tacky to bring it up."

"No." Deidre shook her head. "I knew he'd figure out something. Never guessed that. He's not someone who bows to others, and a blood-bond is pretty serious, considering you were already mates. I can't imagine the impact of both on him when one is more than enough."

The puzzled curiosity on the features of Darkyn's mate made Deidre wonder if the girl fully understood what had happened. The idea Darkyn voluntarily took a bond to a human when he made a name for himself disobeying his former master ...

There might be a reason Darkyn hadn't explained it to his mate.

Deidre stared with renewed interest at the woman she created. There were no signs of violence on the mate of the Dark One. In fact, she glowed with health, even if she seemed shy or nervous.

"That explains the fangs. So jealous," Deidre added. "s.e.xy."

Darkyn's mate blushed again and ducked her gaze. "Anyway," she mumbled. "I'm glad you told Gabriel the truth. We talked after you told him."

"He came to see you." A streak of jealousy and misery went through Deidre. She knew it was wrong. After condemning the human to Darkyn, how did she deserve to feel this way? "I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"He's always loved you, Deidre. That hasn't changed."

"I don't believe it's possible. I've been afraid of losing him my whole life."

The gaze of Darkyn's mate was on the ground. She hugged herself, visibly upset. Deidre didn't know what to say to comfort her. She was barely holding her own tears.

"I don't know how to help," Darkyn's mate whispered. "The bond between mates is strong. Gabriel is honorable. He will do what's right."

"I want to do what's right, too, but don't even know what that is."

"Darkyn's approach to the mating bond was much different than Gabriel's. Gabriel gave me s.p.a.ce and a choice. Darkyn ... no way in h.e.l.l. Relentless." The Dark One's mate took on a husky note that made her flush. "Anyway I mean, if you confront something instead of letting it fester, it might be easier to deal with. Instead of waiting for Gabe to come around, why don't you go to him? Try to make things right."

"I've been trying to think of how to do that."

"Remind him why he fell in love with you. He loves ... your spontaneity, your sense of humor." Darkyn's mate tapped one of her fangs absently. "He loves ...you and always has. He's always loved the side of you that laughs. The part of you that makes him forget how grey his world is."

"My G.o.ds. How do you know this?" Deidre's words were barely audible.

"I ..." Darkyn's mate blinked rapidly, as if near tears.

"You figured that out after a week, and I know nothing after thousands of years," Deidre whispered. "If you weren't blood-bound, I'd give him to you now."

Darkyn's mate said nothing but managed to shake her head. Deidre knew it wasn't possible, not with the girl before her blood-bound to the Dark One. But she couldn't help feeling as if she'd never truly known the man she loved until someone else told her what she missed. Her distress toppled into full blown despair.

"If I can win over the Dark One, you can win over Death," said the mate of Darkyn. "You have the advantage that he already loves you."

No one could love her after all she'd done! Deidre said nothing, pensive. Gabriel was bound to her by Immortal Law. He needed time. Deidre didn't have time. Maybe it was poetic justice that her soul was doomed.

"Not sure why you're trying to help me," she said.

"I want to see Gabriel happy," was the simple response. "You are the only person who can do that."