Return To Bachelor Moon Part 16

"Where did you get the clothes?" He frowned. "I didn't even think to bring you anything when I rushed back to the hospital last night."

"A nice nurse let me borrow these. I'll return them to her tomorrow on my way out of town."

"So you're still planning on taking off tomorrow?"

"There's nothing to keep me here." She took a sip of her lemonade and placed the gla.s.s back on the table.

"How did it go at the jail?"

She continued to stare at the sinking sun, not wanting to look at him, for a large part of her heart would remain here with him. "Awful. I always believed he was a good, well-adjusted kid. Oh, I knew he occasionally smoked pot. He thought I was too stupid to smell it on him, but I did. I just didn't see the darkness inside him, how much he hated me, how much he was afraid to love for fear of being let down again."

She stood, not wanting to spend another minute out here, where she could feel his concern for her wafting from him, where his scent rode the soft evening breeze.

She refused to sit out here and allow her love for him to lighten the darkness Cory had placed in her heart, to let Gabriel offer her support without love, caring without commitment.

"I have a lot of things I need to get done now so that I can take off tomorrow. I won't be cooking tonight, so you all are on your own."

"We'll be just fine," he a.s.sured her.

She picked up her gla.s.s and paused at the door, stupidly waiting for him to tell her not to leave, to get up and take her in his arms, to tell her he'd discovered he was in love with her.

"Maybe you and Cory have it right," she finally said dispiritedly.

"What do you mean?"

A wariness bounced into his eyes, and she knew he probably didn't like to be compared to a person like her brother.

She shrugged. "Maybe it isn't good to love people because somehow, someway, they always let you down." She didn't wait for his response but hurried into the house.

She set her gla.s.s in the kitchen sink and then went into her private rooms, locking the door behind her. She sank down on the sofa and eyed the doorway to her bedroom.

Snakes. Cory had drugged her and then had put snakes in her bed. He'd tried to drown her in the pond and he'd pushed her down the stairs, all in efforts to kill her.

She hadn't realized that his hatred of her had begun when their mother had left and Marlena had taken over caring for him. He'd resented her, resented everything she'd done for him. She'd loved him, and he'd hated her.

It was definitely time for her to move on with her life, and this time she'd focus on working her way through school, getting her teaching degree and building a life for herself.

Alone.

Without love.

Because she wasn't sure she believed in love anymore. It was something that had brought her far more pain than it ever had pleasure. It had been a teenage girl's fantasy, and now she was a woman. It was time to put away foolish dreams.

"WHAT ARE YOU doing sitting out here in the dark?" Jackson asked as he stepped out on the front porch where Gabriel had remained long after Marlena had gone inside.

"Just sitting," he replied, glad that his voice didn't sound odd around the huge lump lodged in the back of his throat.

"Want to talk about it?" Jackson sat down next to him.

"Not really." Gabriel's stomach had been tied in knots since Marlena had left the porch.

"Andrew rustled up some soup and sandwiches for dinner. It's on the table."

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry. In fact, I think I'm going to head into town and have a couple of beers." It was the last thing on his mind, but he felt the need to escape, to run, and now with his decision made, he got up from the chair and pulled the car keys from his pocket.

"Are you going to be late?"

"No, Mom. I shouldn't be too late," Gabriel said sarcastically.

"Hope it helps," Jackson said as he got up from the chair. As he went inside, Gabriel headed for the car, his thoughts and emotions in turmoil.

He intentionally tried to keep his mind blank as he headed to the Rusty Nail Tavern in town, but thoughts skittered like wind-tossed leaves inside his head, with no direction or focus.

They still had no clues as to what had happened to the Connelly family. When he'd learned of the existence of that bunker, he'd wished that they would be in there safe and sound.

No clues, no direction in which to take the investigation and now no Marlena. He tightened his hands on the steering wheel. He didn't want to think about her. Tomorrow she would be on her way, and he and his team would remain at the bed-and-breakfast until they were told to leave.

He pulled into the parking lot of the tavern, grateful it was early enough that there wasn't much of a crowd. Once inside he found a stool at the end of the counter and ordered a beer.

As he nursed the drink, he thought about everything that had happened. Cory had been a shock. He couldn't imagine the depth of masked anger that had built up to a point where he'd tried to kill Marlena not once but three times.

What bothered Gabriel more than anything was that, while Cory was screaming to him that he hated Marlena, that he would never love anyone but himself, Gabriel had seen a tiny piece of himself in the young man.

Like Cory, Gabriel had internalized his mother's abandonment to mean that love had no place in his life. Like Marlena's troubled brother, Gabriel had chosen to turn his back on love, to live his life alone without loving or being loved.

But Marlena loves you, a little voice whispered inside him. She'd dug in, seen the good inside his soul and fallen in love with him.

What he found far more disturbing than anything that had occurred over the past couple of days was her parting words before she'd gone into the house.

Somehow this entire experience had made her believe that she was wrong about love, that her belief in love was stupid. And that broke Gabriel's heart.

He felt as if somehow he and the circ.u.mstances had destroyed something beautiful inside her, and that sent a searing pain through him.

By the time he'd finished his second beer, he realized coming here was a mistake. There was no amount of beer in the world that would set things right.

It was time for him to wrap his mind back around the Connelly case and nothing else. He'd come to Bachelor Moon to find a missing family, not to fall in love, and it was time he got back to doing what he did best.

He left the tavern feeling no more settled than he had when he'd arrived. It was just after nine when he returned to the bed-and-breakfast, and Jackson and Andrew were seated on one of the sofas in the common room in front of the television.

"Back in one piece," Andrew said as Gabriel sprawled in a nearby chair.

"Yeah, I had a couple of beers and decided it was time to come home." He forced a grin at Jackson. "I didn't want to stay out so late that I got grounded."

Jackson returned his smile and then sobered. "So where do we go from here on the Connelly case?"

"I don't know," Gabriel admitted with frustration. He glanced toward the kitchen area. "Has Marlena been out of her rooms?"

"No. When I was making dinner, I heard her moving around. I a.s.sumed she was packing things up to take off tomorrow," Andrew replied.

Gabriel stood. "I think I'll head on to bed. We'll sit down in the morning and figure out our plan of attack on this case."

As he climbed the stairs to the lavender bedroom, he thought of how beautiful Marlena had looked in the lavender scrubs. Even after a night of being drugged, without makeup and beaten up by life, she'd looked stunning.

She'd looked like a woman he'd want to see every morning, like a woman he'd want to hold every night before falling asleep. He shucked his clothes and got into bed, willing himself to sleep so he wouldn't have to think anymore.

He awoke at dawn, and after a long, hot shower he headed down the stairs, where the scent of coffee indicated that Marlena was up.

He poured a cup of the fresh brew and sat at the dining room table. He could hear her moving around in the kitchen, apparently preparing to fix breakfast. Other than the soft rattle of dishes, there was no other sound.

No soft, sweet humming to start the day. Apparently that had even been stolen from her by the events that had happened. You stole it from her, a little voice screamed inside his head. You stole her music, her joy of life...you and Cory.

Within minutes he was joined at the table by Jackson and Andrew, and the talk turned to the Connelly case and what their possible next steps might be.

Marlena entered the room, carrying with her a platter of waffles and another of sausage patties. Gabriel barely noticed the food. Instead he drank in her loveliness. But as he looked closer, he noted that her eyes were dark, sad and haunting.

"I'll be right back with the syrup," she said and left the room. She returned only a moment later with a large jug and set it in the center of the table.

"This will be the last meal that I'll fix. After I clean up the breakfast dishes, I'll be on my way."

"Where are you headed?" Andrew asked, his plate already filled with the food she'd delivered.

"I'm thinking New Orleans."

Gabriel couldn't help but notice that her gaze had refused to meet his.

"You'll like New Orleans," Jackson said. "It's my favorite place to party in the entire state."

She smiled at him, and Gabriel found himself jealous that her smile wasn't directed at him. "I'm not looking for a party. I'm just looking for a life."

"I wish you all the happiness in the world," Andrew said around a mouthful of waffles.

She smiled at him fondly. "And I wish you and your almost fiancee happiness, and I hope you never have to eat a convenience-store sandwich again."

She returned to the kitchen, and Gabriel felt the emptiness inside him. He had to cast her out of his head. He grabbed two waffles and smothered them with syrup, as if the food on his plate could fill the emptiness in his heart.

He ate without enthusiasm, not tasting anything, and afterward he went upstairs to his room to retrieve his laptop. He lingered in his room, not wanting to hang around downstairs while she cleaned up the dishes.

When he finally returned to the dining room, she'd disappeared into her quarters, and Jackson and Andrew awaited him at the dining room table to discuss their investigation.

Just as Marlena walked out of the room with two suitcases in her hands, Jackson's phone rang. He held up a hand to halt any conversation and listened to whoever was on the other end of the phone. "Yes, sir. Yes, I've got it. I'll tell the others."

He disconnected and placed his phone on the table. "That was Director Miller. We're being pulled out of here."

"Why?" It was Marlena who spoke. "Sam and Daniella and Macy are still missing." She dropped her suitcases to the floor.

"What's going on?" Andrew asked.

Jackson frowned. "You two are being sent back to the office in Baton Rouge and I'm heading to the Kansas City office to work a new case. An FBI profiler and her sheriff husband have vanished into thin air from a small town called Mystic Lake."

"So this may be bigger than the Connelly family," Andrew replied.

Jackson nodded. "I'm going to see if what they're dealing with there is what we have here."

"I called Pamela last night and told her I was leaving today, so she could move in here or whatever." Marlena's eyes held a new sadness. "If you all aren't going to be here, then I can't imagine what's going to happen to this place."

She leaned down and picked up her suitcases, then looked at Jackson. "Find out what's going on, Jackson. You might be the only one with access to some of the clues that will lead back to Sam, Daniella and Macy."

He nodded. "I'm going to do my best. I guess we need to head upstairs and pack." Together he and Andrew headed for the stairs, leaving Gabriel and Marlena alone.

He'd noticed as he'd come down from upstairs that she'd already parked her car in the lot out front. He reached out and took one of her suitcases from her. "Come on. I'll walk you out."

HER FOOTSTEPS FELT heavy, even though she knew she should be happy to be finally moving on. She'd hoped that when she left Bachelor Moon, Cory would be in her pa.s.senger seat and that Sam, Daniella and Macy would be standing on the porch to wave goodbye.

As devastating as Cory's betrayal had been, her stupidity over loving Gabriel was almost as hard to deal with. He'd warned her, and she hadn't heeded his warnings. He'd told her to pretend that their night together had only been a dream, but it was the one piece of reality she wanted to take with her.

They reached her car, and she opened the trunk. She put her suitcase in and then moved aside so he could do the same with the one he carried.

Instead of placing it in the trunk, he dropped it to the ground. "We need to talk," he said.

"There's nothing left to say. Two bad guys are in jail, three people are still missing and you're going back to Baton Rouge while I'm heading to New Orleans." She didn't want to talk any more with him. It hurt too much. Even standing here in the midmorning sunshine and looking at him created a deep ache inside her.

"I can't let you leave here disillusioned and no longer believing in love," he said, his eyes a dark, troubled blue.

"I think I've told you before that, even though you're a big bad FBI agent, you don't get to tell me how to think or what to feel."

"But it's important to me that you believe in love." He took a step closer to her, too close.

Why was he torturing her? Why didn't he just throw the suitcase into the trunk and let her go? Why on earth did he suddenly want to talk about love?

"I don't know why what I believe is important to you now," she replied.

He took yet another step toward her, bringing with him that scent that had always made her feel safe and secure. She wanted to run away from him. She also wanted to run into his arms. Instead she stood frozen in place until he moved so close to her that she could feel his body heat.

"It's important to me that you believe in love, because you've made me believe in it. You've made me believe I'm worthy of being loved, of taking a chance and giving a special woman my heart."

A lump rose in the back of her throat and tears began to burn behind her eyes. "Then I hope you find that special woman." She was grateful her voice didn't crack, that she didn't dissolve into tears. She should be happy that she'd been able to do that for him, that he would go into his future with an open heart.

"I've already found her," he said softly. He raised a hand to touch one of her curls, and then swept his hand down the side of her face in a caress.

Her heart stopped beating and then began to bang rapidly at his words. He dropped his hand from her face and instead streaked a hand through his own hair. Stepping from one foot to the other, he looked decidedly uncomfortable.

"I'm not very good at this," he confessed, as if she didn't know him well enough to figure that out, but she had no intention of making it easier on him, despite the fact that her heart was on the verge of soaring.

"You're going to have to do a lot better than that," she replied. "Right now you're just a dream that I was supposed to forget."