Random Rhymes and Rambles Part 16

All satisfied we their short ride- But sorry for the rain- Each thenkt ther stars they're nowt no war, An' we've got home again.

Whene'er we roam away from home, No matter where or when, In storm or shower, if in wer power, To home-sweet home, return!

What we had seen-where we had been- Each to our friend wor telling: The day being spent, we homeward went To each respective dwelling.

Dame Europe's Lodging House.

Dame Europa kept a Lodging House, And she was fond of bra.s.s; She took in public lodgers, Of every rank and cla.s.s.

She'd French and Germans, Dutch and Swiss, And other nations too; So poor old Mrs. Europe Had plenty work to do.

I cannot just now name her beds, Her number being so large; But five she kept for deputies, Which she had in her charge.

So in this famous Lodging house, John Bull he stood A ONE, On whom she always kept an eye, To see things rightly done.

And Master Louis was her next, And second, there's no doubt, For when a little row took place, He always backed John out.

For in her house was Alex Russ, Oft him they ey'd with fear; For Alex was a lazy hound, And kept a Russian Bear.

Her fourth was a man of grace, And was for heaven bent; His name was Pious William, Guided by his testament.

Her fifth, too, was a pious Knave, And 'tis our firm belief, He once did rob the Hungary Lads Of their honest bread and beef.

These were Dame Europe's deputies, In whom she put her trust, To keep her lodging house at peace, In case eruption burst.

For many a time a row took place, While sharing out the scran; But John and Louis soon stepp'd in, And cleared the _padding can_.

Once Alex Russ's father Nick, A bit before he died, Seized a little Turk one day, And thought to warm his hide.

But John and Louis soon stepp'd in, Declaring it foul play; And made old Nick remember it Until his dying day.

Now all Dame Europe's deputies, They made themselves at home; And every lodger knew his bed, Likewise his sitting room.

They took great interest in their beds, And kept them very clean; Unlike some other padding cans, So dirty and so mean.

But Louis had the nicest bed, Of any of the lot; And being close by a window, He loved a flower pot.

The best and choicest bed of all, Was occupied with Johnny; Because the Dame did favour him, He did collect her money.

And in a little bunk he lived, Seal'd up with oak, and tarr'd; He would not let a single one, Come near within a yard.

A Jack of all trades, too, was John, And aught he'd do for bra.s.s; And what he ever took in hand, No one could him surpa.s.s.

When tired of being shut up it bunk, Sometimes he went across, To spend an hour with Master Louis, And they the wine would toss.

So many a happy day they spent, These lads, with one another; While every lodger in the house, Thought John was Louis' brother.

The Dame allowed John something nice, To get well in her rent, Which every now and then it bank, He put it on per cent.

And working very hard himself Amongst his tar and pitch; He soon acc.u.mulated wealth, That made him very rich.

The next to Louis' bed was Will, The biggest Monitor; And though he did pretend a saint, He was as big a cur.

He loved to make them all believe He was opposed to strife, And said he never caused a row, No, never in his life.

He was so fond of singing psalms, And read his testament; So everybody was deceived When he was on mischief bent.

He seldom pa.s.sed a lodger's bed But what he took a glance, Which made them every one suspect He'd rob them if he'd chance.

Now Louis had two flower pots He nourished with much care, But little knew that Willie's eyes Were set upon the pair.

In one there grew an ALSACE Rose, The other a LORAINE, And Willie vowed they once were his And must be his again.

He said his father once lodg'd there, And that the dame did know That Louis predecessors once Had sneaked them in a row.

But in Willie's council was a lad Up to every quirk, To keep him out of mischief, long Dame Europe had her work.

To this smart youth Saint Willie Did whisper his desire One night as they sat smoking, Besides the kitchen fire.

To get them flowers back again, Said Bissy, very low, Meet Louis somewhere on the quiet, And try to cause a row.

But mind the other deputies Don't catch you on the hop, For John and Joseph you must know Your little game would stop.

For Joseph he has not forgot The day you warmed his rig; And christian Denmark still thinks on About his nice Slesvig.

By your advice, my own Dear Mark, I have been guided on, But what about that man i't bunk?

Pointing o'er to John.

He's very plucky too is John, But yet he's very slow, And perhaps he never may perceive Our scheme about the row.

But not another word of this To anybody's ears, The dame she plays the list'ner, I have my doubts and fears.

So let us go up-stairs at once, I think it will be best, And let us pray to Him above, Before we go to rest.

So with a pious countenance, His prayers as usual said, But squinting round the room the while, He spied an empty bed.

What a pity that these empty stocks Should be unoccupied; Do you think my little cousin, Mark, To them could be denied.

'Tis just the very thing, said Mark, Your cousin, sir, and you, Would carry out my scheme first-rate, One at each side of Lue.

The dame being asked did not object If he could pay the rent, And had a decent characterz And Louis would consent.

But I do object to this says Lue, And on this very ground, w.i.l.l.y and his cousins, ma'am, They soon will me surround.