Raising Freethinkers_ A Practical Guide Part 13

Celebrating Life Jan Devor The world that we live in too often seems filled with very serious business. Grim news, grim rules for children ("Don't leave my sight at the mall or someone will kidnap you!")1 and grim expressions on our faces. Teachers, parents, and coaches are constantly telling children to "Get serious!"You have to be a serious student, a serious worker, a serious musician, or a serious athlete to get ahead. and grim expressions on our faces. Teachers, parents, and coaches are constantly telling children to "Get serious!"You have to be a serious student, a serious worker, a serious musician, or a serious athlete to get ahead.

There is indeed a lot to be serious about, from economic concerns to vio- lence and injustice to the seemingly intractable problems of poverty, starvation, and war. That's why nonreligious people are involved in so many social and civic actions: We realize that our efforts in the here and now are the one shot we have at making this world a better place. There is so much to do, so much to work on, so much to think and talk about.

But just as we have only one life, our children have only one childhood. It would be a shame to allow the amazing joy of being alive to be consumed by the grim and serious side of things. So how can you lighten up your children's experience of the world? How do you give them a shot of hope, fun, and excitement, a feeling that growing up is an adventure, imbued with meaning and delight? How do you give them a sense of family and the continuity of time?

One great way is through rituals, celebrations, and holiday festivals.

Ritual is something that you do repeatedly. It offers that feeling of continuity to life and to your family. Celebrations are occasions to have a party! You can combine ritual and celebration, of course. Birthday celebrations provide a perfect example. They vary from year to year but usually include some element of tradition as well, some golden thread connecting each individual 153.

Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief celebration with those that have pa.s.sed. Perhaps the parents always read a poem that they've written about the birthday person. Maybe you always slept over at Aunt Meg's house on the last day of school.

Holiday festivals are those cultural and religious celebrations that come around once a year-and usually mean some time off from school! These in- clude both religious and nonreligious holidays, as well as religious holidays with fully formed secular expressions, like Easter and Christmas.

Which brings us to heart of the matter for nonreligious parents. The idea of parallel secular expressions of religious holidays is key to the nonreligious experience of cultural celebrations. That most holidays have religious roots, even those we think of as entirely secular, should come as no surprise, since the church controlled the calendar and traced the rhythms of the year for so many centuries. Both Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day were originally the feast days of saints, after all. Does that have to interfere with our expressions of love or Irishness?

One way or another, nonreligious parents must come to terms with the religious holidays. Kids don't like to feel out of sync with the majority of their friends who are celebrating, for example, Christmas or Easter. Don't be the parents who make your child say, "Happy Spring" instead of "Happy Easter."

Instead of discarding religious holidays, make them your own. Many of us were celebrating Christmas as kids long before we even knew that Jesus was involved! Look beyond the religious underpinnings to the human meaning sur- rounding each holiday and the human needs that are satisfied by it. Generosity, kindness, peace on Earth, the uniqueness of every child-these are values not just for the religious!

There is a wonderful new movement called Krismas that captures all the warmth, spirit, and fun of Christmas but focuses on Kris (Kringle) and his spirit of giving. Many secular families have found Krismas the perfect solution to the conundrum of that particular holiday, bellowing out "Merry Krismas!" to friends and neighbors and meaning it with all their hearts.

This chapter includes many more suggestions on how to reframe holidays to a more secular view. Also, holidays such as the Fourth of July, Earth Day, and Thanksgiving are perfect opportunities to invite religious relatives over for a celebration unburdened with religious expectations.

Creative rites of pa.s.sage are meaningful ways to recognize the develop- ment of your child. These rites can acknowledge movement between school levels-preschool to kindergarten, middle school to high school, and so on- or a way to remember someone who has died. Some mothers want to recog- 154.Santatheology GRANDMA: Oh, look, here's another one: "To Delaney, from Santa!"

DELANEY (5): EEEEEE, hee hee hee! (*rustle rustle*) Omigosh, new PJs!!

With puppy dogs!!

GRANDMA: Now, if they don't fit, we can exchange them. I have the receipt.

DELANEY, with accusing eyebrows: What do you mean, you have the re- ceipt? How could you have the receipt?

GRANDMA: Oh, I mean . . . well, Santa leaves the receipts with the gifts.

DELANEY, eyebrows still deployed: Uh huh.

CONNOR (11): Laney, be careful. If you don't believe in Santa even for one minute, you'll get coal in your stocking.

DELANEY: I don't think so.

CONNOR: Well, you better not doubt him anyway, just in case it's true!

DELANEY: I think Santa would care more that I was good than if I believe in him.

It was the whole history of religious discourse in 15 seconds. Reread it, changing "Santa" to "G.o.d" and "get coal in your stocking" to "burn in h.e.l.l." For the finishing touch, replace Connor with Blaise Pascal and De- laney with Voltaire.

-Dale McGowan, from the blog The Meming of Life nize the maturing of a daughter who has begun menstruation, while some parents mark the fifteenth or sixteenth birthday as significant.

Creating a rite of pa.s.sage doesn't have to be a big deal-just a meaningful one! All that is required is some kind of public or private recognition of an important event in your child's life. You won't be disappointed by your child's reaction to a rite of pa.s.sage if you just put some kind of effort into making it personal to them. A personal statement of appreciation is always a keepsake for your child. A handmade gift shows how much care and thought you have put into the celebration. Making a child's favorite meal and saying a few words is making a family dinner a simple rite of pa.s.sage! It is the recognition of the accomplishment and not the gift that is important.

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Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief This chapter will help you to navigate some situations that might come up around holidays and celebrations within our religiously diverse society and, perhaps, family. It will give resources for nonreligious families to create your own meaningful rituals, celebrations, and holidays and suggest activities that could create fun and memories for nonreligious families. Remember that religious families do not have the corner on family values and family fun. Nonreligious families have many opportunities to make special times with special meanings for their families!

Questions and Answers Q: I loved the sights and sounds of Christmas and Easter when I was a kid, but now as an adult, I don't want to build it around the Christian message for my now as an adult, I don't want to build it around the Christian message for my kids. Is there a way to get around the religious meaning and still celebrate the holidays without them becoming just commercial celebrations? kids. Is there a way to get around the religious meaning and still celebrate the holidays without them becoming just commercial celebrations?

A: There are countless ways to celebrate Christmas and Easter, and most fall well between devout religious observance and cra.s.s consumerism. Celebrating Christmas as the possibility of every child and Easter as the renewal of spirit and the earth are certainly ways to frame these holidays in a nonreligious way. There are countless ways to celebrate Christmas and Easter, and most fall well between devout religious observance and cra.s.s consumerism. Celebrating Christmas as the possibility of every child and Easter as the renewal of spirit and the earth are certainly ways to frame these holidays in a nonreligious way.

There is a wonderful website that suggests that we celebrate the Christmas holiday as Krismas and frame the holiday around the celebration of Kris Kringle.

You can find more information on this at http://krismas.org.

Many of us have been celebrating these holidays in secular ways from the beginning, focusing on the warmth of the human spirit and community, the renewal of hope and the fun activities that surround the day. The website www.tetrakatus.org offers a list of the Twelve Days of Secular Christmas. These include Winter Solstice, Human Light, Krismas, Crispness, World Week, Box-ing Day, Kwanzaa, and New Years. offers a list of the Twelve Days of Secular Christmas. These include Winter Solstice, Human Light, Krismas, Crispness, World Week, Box-ing Day, Kwanzaa, and New Years. Parenting Beyond Belief Parenting Beyond Belief includes some great chapters such as "To Easter Bunny or Not to Easter Bunny?" and "The Question of Claus-Should the Santa Story Stay or Go in Secular Families?" which gives a point/counterpoint format to this age-old discussion. includes some great chapters such as "To Easter Bunny or Not to Easter Bunny?" and "The Question of Claus-Should the Santa Story Stay or Go in Secular Families?" which gives a point/counterpoint format to this age-old discussion.

Looking for something to do together on Christmas or Easter morning?

Unitarian Universalist congregations are an excellent option, or seek out any liberal religious inst.i.tution such as the Ethical Cultural Society. As fundamentalists point out, to their chagrin, there is no shortage of utterly secular celebrations around these holidays as well, from Christmas morning ice skating parties to Easter egg rolls and egg hunts. Check your local paper or Chamber of Commerce website.

156.Q: How can I create some family traditions of my own for the month of December?

A: December is rich with possibilities for family traditions. What appeals to you? Family dinners in candlelight? Perhaps creating a decorative paper chain where one link is taken off each day until Christmas morning or the solstice? December is rich with possibilities for family traditions. What appeals to you? Family dinners in candlelight? Perhaps creating a decorative paper chain where one link is taken off each day until Christmas morning or the solstice?

Look in the Activities section of this chapter to see about creating your own specialized advent wreath. Singing is a wonderful way to cheer up a dark evening. Is there one recipe that you can save and only bake during December?

Take a car ride with the whole family and look at holiday lights. Making a tradition doesn't have to be elaborate. It has to do with the family gathering for a purpose and that can be around whatever you wish. Do it twice and it's a tradition!

Q: Christmas Eve is always a strain on our family. We travel to my parents' house and they insist on the whole gang going to our old family church for services. The and they insist on the whole gang going to our old family church for services. The memories of that place are not pleasant for me and I hate going, but I've done so memories of that place are not pleasant for me and I hate going, but I've done so anyway to please my parents. Do you think that I should keep up this charade? anyway to please my parents. Do you think that I should keep up this charade?

A: Partic.i.p.ating in some religious rituals-baptism and communion, for example-can raise serious issues of integrity and give the impression that you endorse specific ideas (such as original sin) that you do not. But simply going to your parents' church on Christmas Eve need not carry the same weight. You have already chosen not to partic.i.p.ate in the family religion, which is statement enough that the religion holds no value for you. You don't have to re-emphasize that by refusing to accompany the family to church, and going can be a sign of respect on your part for them, even if not for the church itself. Partic.i.p.ating in some religious rituals-baptism and communion, for example-can raise serious issues of integrity and give the impression that you endorse specific ideas (such as original sin) that you do not. But simply going to your parents' church on Christmas Eve need not carry the same weight. You have already chosen not to partic.i.p.ate in the family religion, which is statement enough that the religion holds no value for you. You don't have to re-emphasize that by refusing to accompany the family to church, and going can be a sign of respect on your part for them, even if not for the church itself.

I would explain it this way to my children: "While I do not agree with the teachings of this church, I do respect the fact that the church is important to Grandma and Grandpa, and I am going for them. We can talk about the service afterwards and how you felt about it. I do not expect you to kneel or bow your head during prayers unless you feel like it, and none of us will be taking communion, since that means you are part of the church. I do expect that you sit quietly and to be respectful of the people who are there."

Q: My relatives insist on sending my kids very religious cards and presents for birthdays and holidays. This really annoys me-but no one wants to rip a new birthdays and holidays. This really annoys me-but no one wants to rip a new book out of a young child's hands and refuse to read it! How should I handle this? book out of a young child's hands and refuse to read it! How should I handle this?

A: Communicating about religious gifts ahead of time is important. Waiting until a religious gift is opened and then voicing disapproval simply teaches 157 Communicating about religious gifts ahead of time is important. Waiting until a religious gift is opened and then voicing disapproval simply teaches 157 Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief rudeness. I would approach the giver and ask if, for the joy of the occasion for everyone, the gifts given could be of a secular nature. If the person disagrees, you will simply have to talk with your children ahead of time about what you think and decide on how to handle the situation. In a similar vein, I will never forget my son getting a huge war toy for Christmas. Toys like this were not allowed in our home. My son looked at it and said, "You don't like this kind of toy, do you, Mom?" So while I didn't have to rip it out his hands, I felt confident that my values were there, and it gave us a chance to talk about it. (He played with it for about two days and then forgot about it!) Q: My family has been invited to our niece's first communion. It seems like a big party to my daughter, and she wants to know when her first communion is! What party to my daughter, and she wants to know when her first communion is! What can I do to help her feel special? can I do to help her feel special?

A: That's just the right way to phrase the question. Children who feel envious of the religious rituals of their peers are often seeking the same sense of specialness-something that doesn't remotely require pledges of devotion to G.o.d or the memorization of scriptures. First communion represents a child's reaching what Catholics call the "age of reason." Traditionally around age 8, this is the point at which the child is said to be sufficiently mature to understand the nature of the Eucharist, to enter into a relationship with Christ, and to take personal responsibility for her sins. That's just the right way to phrase the question. Children who feel envious of the religious rituals of their peers are often seeking the same sense of specialness-something that doesn't remotely require pledges of devotion to G.o.d or the memorization of scriptures. First communion represents a child's reaching what Catholics call the "age of reason." Traditionally around age 8, this is the point at which the child is said to be sufficiently mature to understand the nature of the Eucharist, to enter into a relationship with Christ, and to take personal responsibility for her sins.

Without debating these (highly debatable) theological points, parents can create a similar humanistic event for a child-a kind of first step, perhaps, on the way to the traditional coming of age at 13.

Invite friends and family to dress up for a special recognition event at your house. Create a short ceremony-10 minutes, perhaps-that focuses attention on how fast and well your daughter is growing up. Show a few slides of her early days. Have one friend, one parent, and one grandparent each say a few words about her special qualities. Have her recite a poem from memory (or some similar accomplishment to mark the day). End with a song, then bring out the food!

These same ideas can be adapted and made age-appropriate for a coming- of-age ceremony at 12 or 13. In either case, you will have created a wonderful event that your child will always remember without all that scripture and talk of sin.

Q: Are there any existing secular coming-of-age ceremonies I can look to as models? models?

158.A: There are indeed. Ethical Societies are a good place to begin. The Ethical Society of St. Louis, Missouri, has a well-developed coming-of-age program. There are indeed. Ethical Societies are a good place to begin. The Ethical Society of St. Louis, Missouri, has a well-developed coming-of-age program.

Their eighth grade Sunday School cla.s.s is entirely structured as a coming-of-age transition from childhood to adolescence. They address such questions as "Who am I and what do I believe?" (discussing the existence of G.o.d, the fact of death, the reality of suffering, and other such topics), "Where do we begin?"

(a joint effort between the student and his or her opposite-s.e.x parent in community-building and cooperation), "What is happening to me?" (a parent- teen negotiation workshop focused on dating and s.e.xual responsibility), "How can I make a difference?" (group partic.i.p.ation in service to the community) and finish with an opportunity for each student to address the congregation.

Unsurprisingly, Europe is well ahead of the United States in this regard.

National humanist a.s.sociations in the United Kingdom, Germany, and throughout Scandinavia have developed extensive coming-of-age programs, sometimes referred to as "civil confirmations." An excellent summary of these, including links for further information, is available on Wikipedia at www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_coming_of_age_ceremony.

Q: My sister-in-law says that Halloween is evil and won't let her children do anything around this holiday. It is really confusing to my children. Is there any legiti-mate basis to my sister-in-law's claims?

A: To their credit, most Christians roll their eyes at this kind of fearful response to Halloween, but there are some who consider the holiday some sort of embodiment or celebration of evil. I have even heard it claimed that Halloween is the birthday of Satan-a particularly strange idea, since Satan/Lu-cifer was originally an angel and was therefore created, not born! To their credit, most Christians roll their eyes at this kind of fearful response to Halloween, but there are some who consider the holiday some sort of embodiment or celebration of evil. I have even heard it claimed that Halloween is the birthday of Satan-a particularly strange idea, since Satan/Lu-cifer was originally an angel and was therefore created, not born!

Also common among conservative Christians is the erroneous idea that Halloween was born in the worship of "Samhain, the Celtic G.o.d of Death."

Among the many problems with this idea: There is no Celtic G.o.d named Samhain.

Celts recognized only two seasons: summer (life) and winter (death).

Samhain (p.r.o.nounced "sow-en" and meaning "summer's end") is the name of a month month corresponding to November. The "feast of Samhain" on October 31 corresponding to November. The "feast of Samhain" on October 31 marks the end of summer and the last harvest of the year. It was symbolized in Celtic mythology as the death of a G.o.d, who would then be resurrected six months later at the feast of Beltane (April 30May 1). Samhain, then, is not about the G.o.d of Death, but the death of a G.o.d. 2 2 In this way, Halloween is rooted in the same mythic impulse as the Christian Easter. In this way, Halloween is rooted in the same mythic impulse as the Christian Easter.

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Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief Like the Mexican Day of the Dead, Samhain is a recognition of the rela- tionship between life and death. By equating death with evil, conservative Christianity recoils from and fears it.

By instead recognizing death as a natural part of the cycle of life, nonreligious parents can find endless fascination in the holiday's origins. At Samhain, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead was said to become thinner, and the ancient Celts believed the spirits of beloved ancestors could cross that boundary and walk among the living. Food would be set at the threshold for the departed spirits. 3 3 Kids are fascinated to see how the tradition of dressing as spirits and going from door to door for treats grew out of this ancient Celtic idea of caring for and remembering departed loved ones.

Q: I feel that our relationship with our planet is more important than ever and would like to weave that awareness into our family traditions. What are some would like to weave that awareness into our family traditions. What are some ideas for more earth-centered celebrations that we could partic.i.p.ate in? ideas for more earth-centered celebrations that we could partic.i.p.ate in?

A: The national and international celebration of Earth Day (April 22) has taken on greater significance since concerns about global warming have entered popular attention. It is now common for communities to launch envi- The national and international celebration of Earth Day (April 22) has taken on greater significance since concerns about global warming have entered popular attention. It is now common for communities to launch envi- ronmental projects and celebrations on Earth Day. Check your local paper or the websites at the end of this chapter for Earth Day activities.

Also, pagan groups celebrate not only the four festivals of the solar cycle, but the four belonging to the agricultural cycle. These are Imbolc or Oimele on February 13, Beltane on April 30May 1, Lammas July 31August 3, and Samhain on October 31. 4 F 4 For pagan news, tools for activists, and more features, visit Pagan Inst.i.tute Report at www.paganinst.i.tute.org/PIR/contents.shtml.

Q: My children recently experienced the first loss of someone close to them when my father died. They want to go to the funeral, but I know that it will be filled with my father died. They want to go to the funeral, but I know that it will be filled with religious messages, and it might be scary for them. Should I take my children to the religious messages, and it might be scary for them. Should I take my children to the funeral? Can you suggest an alternative way to honor their dead grandfather? funeral? Can you suggest an alternative way to honor their dead grandfather?

A: Taking children to a funeral is a family decision, one that should include the child's opinion if possible. There is no set age before which a child should not attend a funeral-in fact, some developmental psychologists point to a Taking children to a funeral is a family decision, one that should include the child's opinion if possible. There is no set age before which a child should not attend a funeral-in fact, some developmental psychologists point to a possible lack of closure for children who do not attend. If your children have expressed a desire to go, bring them-but talk in advance about what they will see and what the ceremony is for. Most of all, listen to their feelings about death, loss, and the person who has died, and talk about your own.

160.Remember that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. A child can decide that he wants to attend certain parts of the service, or that he will try it, and you can have a plan for what to do if he feels uncomfortable.

If you decide not to include children in the funeral, you might plan some kind of ceremony at home. Create a place in your home where pictures of the person are displayed and the children can talk about pleasant memories about the person, share a funny story, or perhaps light a candle in that person's honor.

You could bake the person's favorite food or do an activity that the person enjoyed.

This might also be a great time to introduce the Day of the Dead celebra- tion that takes place in Mexico each year around the first part of November.

This celebration focuses on remembering the dead, cleaning graves, fixing foods that the dead person enjoyed, and decorating with colorful marigolds.

There are many excellent books focusing on this tradition, some of which are listed in the resources section of this chapter.

Explain that you honor the person who died every time you remember her, and that holding her in your memory is a very meaningful way to carry that person with you throughout life.

(See also Chapter 7, "Death and Life," for a more extensive look at the Day of the Dead. Also see the essay "Dealing with Death in the Secular Family" by Kendyl Gibbons in Parenting Beyond Belief Parenting Beyond Belief for further thoughts on approaching death while celebrating life.) for further thoughts on approaching death while celebrating life.) Q: We are about to have our first child. Are there nontheistic traditions for welcoming a baby into this world?

A: Congratulations! What a special time for you. There are so many wonderful ways to welcome children into the world, including many without reference to a deity. The activities section in this chapter provides some specific ideas, but you can also create a personal ceremony very easily. I think the most touching thing that you can do for your child is to write a message to her on the day she is born expressing what you are feeling about her on that day. Mount it on special paper and save it in a safe place to be given to her at a coming-of-age ceremony, on her sixteenth birthday, or some other special time. If you are a songwriter, create a song; if you are a potter, make a special pot. The birth of a child is a tremendously personal event and should be celebrated thoughtfully. You can create a special blessing for her that is read at every birthday celebration. Let your imagination be your guide. Congratulations! What a special time for you. There are so many wonderful ways to welcome children into the world, including many without reference to a deity. The activities section in this chapter provides some specific ideas, but you can also create a personal ceremony very easily. I think the most touching thing that you can do for your child is to write a message to her on the day she is born expressing what you are feeling about her on that day. Mount it on special paper and save it in a safe place to be given to her at a coming-of-age ceremony, on her sixteenth birthday, or some other special time. If you are a songwriter, create a song; if you are a potter, make a special pot. The birth of a child is a tremendously personal event and should be celebrated thoughtfully. You can create a special blessing for her that is read at every birthday celebration. Let your imagination be your guide.

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Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief Unitarian Universalist congregations offer warm and meaning-filled ded- ication ceremonies. The wordings of these dedications vary but are reliably "G.o.d-free." Many UU ministers use a rose with the thorns removed as a sym- bol of the unfolding promise of the child. Later a rose can be given to the adolescent child in a Coming of Age ceremony with the thorns on the stem as recognition that he now has to handle the "thorns" in life himself!

The wording of UU dedications generally focuses on the mystery and wonder of life, the role of the parents to teach with respect and love and to model how they want their child to be in the world, to listen carefully for the natural spirit of the child, and to tend that spirit with love and care.

You can also look into the wonderful and growing tradition of humanist naming ceremonies. Both the British Humanist a.s.sociation ( www.humanism .org.uk) and the Inst.i.tute for Humanist Studies ( www.humaniststudies.org) in- clude resources for planning a naming ceremony. The IHS site even includes the complete text of a sample ceremony. A naming or welcoming ceremony can take place anywhere and at any age, although birth to age 2 is most common. Typical elements include readings (anything from Maya Angelou to Dr.

Seuss), songs, stories, a description of the origin of the child's name and its family significance, and the naming of one or two special adults in the child's life-often called "mentors" rather than G.o.dparents-who pledge to support and encourage the child's engagement with life and entrance into the human community.

An additional plus: These ceremonies can often partially satisfy religious grandparents who want their grandchildren baptized. Although the promise These ceremonies can often partially satisfy religious grandparents who want their grandchildren baptized. Although the promise of religious faith and loyalty is not present, many such grandparents express pleasant surprise at the evident warmth, love, and beauty of nonreligious naming or dedication ceremonies.

162.Activities Celebrate Birth: Helping Siblings Welcome a New Child * Make a small, simple quilt Make a small, simple quilt with your children out of leftover material for the newborn baby. Read with your children out of leftover material for the newborn baby. Read The Quiltmaker's Gift The Quiltmaker's Gift by Jeff Brum-beau (Orchard Books, 2000) with your children and talk about how people by Jeff Brum-beau (Orchard Books, 2000) with your children and talk about how people are happiest when they are helping others and giving instead of receiving.

This can also help prepare them for the helping role of older siblings. See See also: Polacco, Patricia. Polacco, Patricia. The Keeping Quilt The Keeping Quilt (New York: Aladdin, 2001). (New York: Aladdin, 2001).

* Read Charlene Costanzo's The Twelve Gifts of Birth The Twelve Gifts of Birth (New York: HarperCollins, 2001) to your children. Twelve gifts are given to every child at (New York: HarperCollins, 2001) to your children. Twelve gifts are given to every child at birth: strength, beauty, courage, compa.s.sion, hope, joy, talent, imagina- tion, reverence, wisdom, love, and faith (leaving open-ended what to have faith in). Talk about what the baby might need strength, beauty, wisdom, and other attributes for. Are there other attributes that your children think that the baby needs to get through life that aren't listed?

* In honor of the new baby, make simple baby blankets make simple baby blankets out of fleece to give to a local shelter. An easy way to make the blankets is to cut two identical squares of fleece, cut in on each side three inches, place the pieces on top of one another, and then tie the two corresponding cut tabs together to out of fleece to give to a local shelter. An easy way to make the blankets is to cut two identical squares of fleece, cut in on each side three inches, place the pieces on top of one another, and then tie the two corresponding cut tabs together to bind the two pieces of cloth into a blanket! Kids love to do this project!

* Create a special poem Create a special poem for the new child. Write it on special paper for a keepsake. Use the newborn's name and make a special wish for the child for the new child. Write it on special paper for a keepsake. Use the newborn's name and make a special wish for the child for every letter of the name. You could even frame this and decorate the frame.

* To celebrate the adoption of a child from another country, put a color put a color with a special meaning from the country of origin into the outfit for the day. Red, for example, is the color of celebration in China. from the country of origin into the outfit for the day. Red, for example, is the color of celebration in China.

Celebrate Earth-on Earth Day or Any Day!

* Make pinecone bird feeders Make pinecone bird feeders. Just spread some peanut b.u.t.ter on a pinecone, roll it in some bird seed, attach a piece of yarn to hang it up and you have a bird magnet! Just spread some peanut b.u.t.ter on a pinecone, roll it in some bird seed, attach a piece of yarn to hang it up and you have a bird magnet! Plant a tree, Plant a tree, flowers, or a vegetable garden. flowers, or a vegetable garden.

* Check out Kaboose ( http://holidays.kaboose.com) for wonderful Earth-centered activities!

* Do a guided meditation Do a guided meditation with your children. Ask them to relax and close their eyes, then take them on a journey through a world without nature. with your children. Ask them to relax and close their eyes, then take them on a journey through a world without nature.

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Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief Ask them to imagine waking up in a world of only concrete, gla.s.s, and brick, walking out the front door to find no trees, no flowers, no green gra.s.s. Where would they play? Where would they get shade? Where would beauty come from? Ask them how they would begin to rebuild the natural world.

* Make a new Ten Commandments for the earth: Make a new Ten Commandments for the earth: "Thou shalt not dump garbage into the waters; Thou shalt ride your bike whenever possible; etc." "Thou shalt not dump garbage into the waters; Thou shalt ride your bike whenever possible; etc."

* Raise money for a local environmental project Raise money for a local environmental project by baking and selling cookies or organizing a raffle or neighborhood rummage sale. by baking and selling cookies or organizing a raffle or neighborhood rummage sale.

* Have the whole family take a hike take a hike and pick up any trash that you see along the way. and pick up any trash that you see along the way.

* Read Earth Tales from Around the World Earth Tales from Around the World by Michael J. Caduto (Golden, CO: Fulcrum, 1997), and talk about the many ideas that different cultures by Michael J. Caduto (Golden, CO: Fulcrum, 1997), and talk about the many ideas that different cultures had about how the world began. Your children could come up with a cre- ation story of their own!

* Get the book Keepers of the Earth Keepers of the Earth by Michael J. Caduto and Joseph Bruchac (Golden, CO: Fulcrum, 1988). This is a great book that combines creation by Michael J. Caduto and Joseph Bruchac (Golden, CO: Fulcrum, 1988). This is a great book that combines creation stories with environmental projects. You can read a creation story, then the book gives you discussion questions and activities to do to help un- derstand the story.