The Daybreak Volume 2 Chapter 10 Part2

Please note that I have done slightly more localization/"re-writing" in this chapter than usual due to the fact that the j.a.panese language does not require gendered p.r.o.nouns while English does. I've done my best to keep things consistent between what each character knows.

Part 1

"I refuse to believe this!"

My girlishly shrill voice echoed throughout the carriage. The driver probably heard me, but he paid me no mind.

Even now, I refused to believe the reason why Mr. Ricardo's bewildered servant had come looking for my a.s.sistance.

"I refused to believe that Mr. Halka suddenly up and disappeared."

It was impossible that she would simply leave without a word unless something significant had happened.

I knew that she had been slandered at the Magic Conference. But it was generally recognized that a disciple did not inherit their teacher's sins just for being their teacher's disciple. In other words, while the revelation of her past wasn't something she could take pride in, it wasn't something that would cause others to look down on her for either.

Reality dictated that not everyone would see things my way, of course, but I could hardly believe that Miss Halka would run away because of something like this.

And more importantly……I'm her friend. Not just a friend —a close friend, so how could she leave without saying anything to me?!

She could have come to me for help before disappearing.

The fact that she hadn't shocked me greatly, but I couldn't criticize her for it when I considered all of the hardships she had endured up until now.

I was frustrated at myself for having failed to be by her side when she was suffering most.

"And then there's Mr. Ricardo!"

Mr. Ricardo had refused to even see me when I had rushed over to his place.

"I'm all right." "Let's talk later." "There's no problem."

That was all he had told me before sending me away.

According to his very apologetic servants, their master had completely shut himself in his room and refused to leave. This was the very time for a knight to act to save his master, so what on earth was he thinking?

I could only collect information based on hearsay, so I was at my wit's end trying to decide what I should do next.

After pondering over it for a while, I decided to seek Lord Aegarbel's, whom Mr. Ricardo was good friend's with, help and was heading to his place by carriage to ask for his a.s.sistance.

The carriage stopped a little while later. I had arrived at my destination. I quickly climbed out of the carriage and spoke to a servant who was staring at me with their eyes open wide.

"Pardon me for coming without notice. Is Lord Graham in?"

"Y-yes."

"This is an emergency. My name is Seraphina Dreagum Solspara. Please inform Lord Graham of my arrival."

"Please wait here for a moment."

Once the servant had returned with permission for me to enter, I quickly overtook my guide and headed straight for the drawing room.

There, I found Lord Graham in more comfortable clothes than I usually saw him wear, who welcomed me in as courteously as a knight should.

"Good afternoon, Lady Seraphina. Welcome."

"Thank you for allowing me your time after I came here suddenly without notice. I simply wished to see you no matter what."

"Someone as simple as I might misunderstand you if you say things like that."

"Surely you jest. I'm here today because I wished to gain your a.s.sistance on something related to Mr. Ricardo and Mr. Halka."

The look on Lord Aegarbel's, who greeted me without any displeasure on his countenance even though I had come here without an appointment, face stiffened when I mentioned their names. Still, I explained the situation to him, undaunted.

"Mr. Halka disappeared."

"That he has. And what of it?"

I was astounded by how cold his response was. I felt as though he was very distant from Miss Halka despite being good friends with Ricardo.

"What of it, you say?"

"What are you trying to tell me to do? There's no point in chasing after someone who's run away on their own accord, now is there?"

"Why have you decided that he chose to run away?! Mr. Ricardo is wallowing in depression too, and this is a very serious situation. Won't you please ask him what happened and cheer him up as his friend?"

Lord Aegarbel let out a deep sigh after he heard what I said.

"Ricardo……. Is he now?"

"Yes. So……"

"Still, I will do nothing."

"And why not!?"

I asked Lord Aegarbel as though I was trying to convince an unreasonable child.

"Look, it's unfortunate that Sir Glark has disappeared, but Ricardo won't be able to stand up and face the rest of his future if he can't even get over something like this on his own."

"But there must still be something that we can do to help! Are you not Mr. Ricardo's friend?"

"It is because I am his friend."

"Mr. Ricardo is suffering!"

"I find that difficult to bear as well. But if this is what it takes for him to be able to cut away his feelings, then there's no helping it."

"You speak as though you've already decided that Mr. Halka won't return."

"I am hoping he doesn't."

That's horrible, I voiced my censure out loud before I could stop myself. I had come to him for his help, and I was being overwhelmed by how cold he was toward my friend.

Lord Aegarbel looked exasperated as he turned to me and said,

"Sir Glark needs to be strong because he is my friend Ricardo's master. If he isn't stronger than anyone and anything else, then Ricardo will only be forced to suffer more."

"How do you know that Ricardo will suffer more than he is suffering now when Mr. Halka has disappeared?"

"Because I know his deepest desire!"

He shouted as though the words had been wrung out of him.

"His desire?"

"I will not be the one to voice them out loud. In any event, you should simply wait for Sir Glark to return."

Lord Aegarbel refused to speak any further about Mr. Ricardo's desires.

I had no idea what it was that Lord Aegarbel knew, but I could see that he was not withholding his a.s.sistance for any simple reason.

"Wait? But that's essentially the same as doing nothing."

I despaired not because Lord Aegarbel had refused to help me, but at how powerless I was for not being able to do anything.

I wanted to support Miss Halka, who was surely suffering even now.

Perhaps I should hire someone to look for her, or perhaps I should try visiting Mr. Ricardo one more time even if he refused to see me.

What on earth is causing Miss Halka to suffer so?

"I'm sure she overexerted herself by trying too hard."

She was not the type of person to a.s.sertively put herself forward, and neither did she seem to know anyone in the city. So, how helpless had she felt when she had to live while lying about even her real s.e.x?

"She's only just a woman."

I had accidentally let my thoughts slip out loud. Perhaps it was because I was with someone I trusted.

Lord Aegarbel, who had heard my inadvertent whisper, suddenly closed the gap between us.

"What did you say just now?"

I belatedly realized how careless I had been and tried to cover up my mistake.

"I-it was nothing."

"Is Sir Glark a woman?!"

Apparently, he'd heard me clearly. I denied him in a panic as I realized that I might accidentally render all of Miss Halka desperate efforts useless.

"No, you're wrong!"

"……Lady Seraphina. You ought to learn how to lie better,"

Lord Graham said before he quickly made for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To Ricardo's!"

Lord Graham, who had suddenly changed his mind, left the room running in the blink of an eye.

He was so quick that I heard a horse take off in full gallop from outside the window before I could recover from my confusion.

"Wait……Please wait!"

He had left me behind.

I ran back to my own carriage in a hurry once I realized this.

*

My swift horse cut through the wind as it galloped.

I wanted to burst out in applause as I rode it. My gloom from the past several months cleared away completely, and I thanked the heavens for its twisted guidance.

Now that I looked back on it, everything that had happened until now seemed to have been set up by G.o.d.

I wondered why they couldn't have met as their real ident.i.ties from the very beginning, and if their relationship was what it was because everything had happened the way it had. I suppose fate was simply something that could not be dictated by human hands.

To think that Sir Glark was a woman!

It meant that Ricardo's desires could be fulfilled. I must admit that I did resent her a little because I wished I could have known sooner, but I reflected on my thoughts as I looked back on how I had acted.

I had been the one who hadn't given her the chance to tell me.

If I had been willing to get closer to her and made greater efforts to gain her trust, then she might have told me one day even if she had originally been meaning to keep it a secret.

I had been the one who had neglected that option and had fiercely and coldly kept the distance between us instead.

I had thought that Sir Glark was the root of all misfortune. But that was because I had been blinded by my considerations for Ricardo.

Everyone was sweet to the people they liked and were cold to strangers who suddenly appeared out of the blue. But entire situation had been turned on its head. I was sure that Ricardo would never be captivated to the extent he currently was by any other.

Ricardo had been so thoroughly enthralled that anyone could tell just by looking from close by.

It was as if everything had been preordained.

Which was why it could even be called fate.

I jumped off my horse as soon as I arrived and ran into the manor.

"Lord Graham!"

A servant who knew me greeted me and welcomed me in even though I had shown up unannounced.

"Where is Ricardo?"

"This way."

The servant took the lead in guiding me to where Ricardo was, perhaps because he was expecting something to happen now that I was here. He brought me before a rather common wooden door that was shut as tightly as if it was a wall of rock instead.

"Thanks for brining me here."

I had the servants, who were worried for their master, fall back and began by knocking on the door as one normally would.

"Ricardo, it's me. There's something I want to discuss. Open the door."

Normally, he would open the door with a sour look on his face, but, as I'd expected, he did not respond as favorably today.

"……Graham? Sorry, but could you just go back for today?"

"No, I have something that I have to discuss with you right now. It's about Sir Glark. There's something I want you to hear, Ricardo, as well as something I want to say to you. Open the door."

"About Lord Halka……. But no, I don't want to hear anything right now."

"What's wrong? There's a reason why Sir Glark isn't here. Why are you so depressed about it?"

But then, he stopped responding entirely. Ricardo maintained his silence and refused to reply.

"Hey, Ricardo!"

I pounded on his door quite rampantly, but the situation didn't change. No wonder Lady Seraphina had asked for my help. I had never seen Ricardo ever close his heart away this tightly before.

I was beginning to grow a little anxious. Perhaps the situation was more precarious than I had originally imagined.

"……Don't hold this against me, all right?"

I notified him in advance before I began kicking at the door.

It was too bad if it broke. And so, I continued to kick mercilessly at the door with the intent of destroying it if I must before even Ricardo couldn't sit still anymore and I heard the door unlocking from the inside.

"I'm coming in."

I was surprised by how unenergetic Ricardo looked when he opened the door and I was finally able to see him. There was a shadow cast over his lifelessly pale face and he looked back at me with empty and sunken eyes. It looked like he hadn't met or talked to anyone in days. His was the face of a man faced with utter despair.

His clothes were a mess and were left unb.u.t.toned, and he had not bothered to clean up after the more than a few bottles of alcohol strewn about his room. It was quite the crisis.

I had come here to tell Ricardo that Sir Glark was a woman, but I began to doubt whether telling Ricardo about this all of a sudden was really the right thing to do when he was in such a rough state.

"What happened to Sir Glark?"

"……I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No, I don't! He was already gone by the time I checked his room this morning!"

Ricardo yelled as he clutched at his head. He continued,

"Why am I here alone? Why was I left behind?"

"You can't think of any reason for this?"

"Only Samora. But why didn't he say anything to me? Oh, Graham. Please tell me why."

It was quite evident to me that Ricardo was extremely unstable right now.

"You don't know anything? Was Sir Glark worried about something, or did Sir Glark act unusually before leaving?"

"He did act strangely. He was furious about something. To an extent that I'd never seen before. It didn't seem like I could figure out what that something was. But……Lord Halka told me that he was all right, like he always does, before he left."

"Anything else?"

"I don't know. I don't know. I don't know anything about Lord Halka!"

Ricardo looked like a fanatic who had been abandoned by his G.o.d as he shouted. The man standing before me right now wasn't the friend whom I had always admired, but a single unsightly man.

It was only now that I recognized how hard Sir Glark had been trying. She had made herself become perfectly the person Ricardo wished her to be all this time.

That was why he had fallen for her without even realizing it himself, and why he had established himself as her servant and her protector. But I couldn't help but wonder if, in his heart of hearts, he carried distorted feelings of deep attachment to her that even he did not fully grasp.

"Ricardo, what have you seen in Sir Glark until now?"

"His amazing intelligence, magic, and personality."

"Everyone knows that about him."

"What else? I know how gentle his smile is. How sincere his att.i.tude is. And that's enough for me."

"Then what about why Sir Glark isn't here right now? You've been with Sir Glark all this time, so there must be something that only you can figure out."

Ricardo shook his head and sat down weakly. Ricardo understood so little of Sir Glark that it was actually unnatural. I asked him,

"Is there really nothing that comes to mind?"

"I……I……"

"Why do you know so little? This is your master we're talking about."

"You're right, but……"

He muttered a few things to himself as he tried to get his thoughts straight before he let out a deep sigh of regret and declared something rather shocking.

"I was clinging to him!"

"Clinging to him?"

"I thought that someone as kind as him would never leave me if I did. I continued to expose my weaknesses to him on purpose while hiding the fact that I was doing it intentionally. I wanted to be by his side even if it meant I had to disgracefully expose my ugliness to make it happen."

Ricardo's face warped, and he looked like he was on the verge of tears as he spoke. He continued,

"And this is the result! I'm here all alone right now! I, I……where did I go wrong?"

Ricardo had only been waiting to receive from Sir Glark as he clung to her, as if he was waiting desperately for rain to fall from the heavens.

I was exasperated from the bottom of my heart.

For the first time in my life, I looked down at Ricardo, whom I had always looked up to, and thought him an utter fool.

Perhaps it was only now that I had truly become Ricardo's friend.

"You idiot,"

I said, and I hit the palm of my hand against Ricardo's head as he was drowning in his thoughts.

"What……?"

"Why did you entrust everything to someone who's so weak that he always needed your protection? You can never look someone in the face if you're unwilling to stand by their side and you're only looking at the sight of their back from behind."

Ricardo listened to me quietly. I felt like I was beginning to see why Sir Glark had left.

"You called him your master, but not only did you never once carry his burdens —you saddled him with your own. How truly kind Sir Glark is. He forgave you for doing it."

"Then……then……are you saying that he finally abandoned me?"

Would she really do that? Was she really someone who would grow exasperated of Ricardo, abandon him, and disappear?

I could not believe that she was someone who could not imagine what Ricardo would be reduced to after she abandoned him. After all, she had been sweet enough to him that Ricardo had never once had any inkling or misgiving that she would ever leave him behind.

And so, there must surely be some other reason.

"……It's the opposite. Sir Glark left to protect you. I'm sure he's battling something even as we speak. And he's all alone. He left behind an immature child so he wouldn't get caught in the fire."

Ricardo's face abruptly tensed up.

Ricardo, who had only been thinking about himself and had only been wallowing in his own despair up until now, finally began working the normally bright gears in his head the moment that he understood what Sir Glark was going through.

"Then……you mean that Lord Halka is suffering all alone right now?"

Ricardo, who had understood all of this in but an instant, looked like he keenly grasped just how foolish he had been.

With a dumbfounded look on his face, he quietly whispered,

"I forced him into solitude……because I was clinging to him?"

Ricardo slowly stood up.

"You're the immature child. You haven't been acting like a knight, Ricardo."

"Yeah……"

He began whispering as he bit down deeply at upon hearing my words.

"……It's exactly as you say, Graham. I was blind, and I wasn't even thinking properly. I was a child, just as you said. I forgot what my job was supposed to be because I lost myself in how much I wanted to be by his side."

He bit his lip so hard he drew blood and began trembling in the anger that was directed toward himself. He continued,

"But……he's protecting me even now, you say? Laugh at me, Graham! I was the one who was clinging to him, but my heart hurts because I made him fight alone instead of being relieved that he didn't abandon me!"

"Then, go! Search for him until the ends of the earth! Before the pain you feel now becomes eternal!"

"Yeah, I will!"

Ricardo responded to my call and was spurred. He continued,

"Why did I forget? I vowed to bet my everything on him."

Ricardo was br.i.m.m.i.n.g with vigor as he moved, as if he had been born anew. I was sure that he would set off in search of Sir Glark immediately.

I had wondered if I should tell him that Sir Glark was a woman, but I felt that it would be better to let the heavens dictate their path instead of me telling him here and now.

It was likely that there would be a more opportune time for him to figure this out, and I could always laugh at him if he never did.

"Thank you, Graham."

"My friend was in a predicament. I haven't done anything that requires your grat.i.tude."

Ricardo smiled back at me a little before quickly beginning his preparations.

And, once had he left in pursuit of Sir Glark, I prayed that all would go well.

*

I could only think of one direction in which to lead my horse. Rather, it was more correct to say that I didn't know of anywhere else to go other than my current destination because I didn't know anything else about him.

I was most certainly anxious that the person I so wished to see would not be there.

But even if he wasn't, I would wait. I would wait forever until I saw him again.

I pa.s.sed through the gra.s.sy fields and noticed a few spa.r.s.e trees cropping up here and there before I eventually found that my surroundings had been eroded by dense forests.

I only finally saw other people at the end of my journey, and my destination was a tiny village dotted with houses and surrounded by fields and livestock —the only means by which the villagers appeared to support themselves. I climbed off my horse as I felt the chilly mountain air.

A woman who was tending to her livestock stared at me —a unfamiliar man from the city. I smiled as gently as I could, so I would not arouse any needless suspicion, and asked,

"Pardom me. I heard that a magician by the name Lord Glark lives in this village; could you please tell me where he lives?"

The woman responded without bothering to hide the intrigue of seeing a rare outsider in her eyes.

"You're here to see the magician? How strange. The house is further inside the forest. At the very top of the mountain. It might be hard for an outsider to tell."

"Could you please tell me how to get there?"

"I think the old woodcutter will take you if you ask him. He lives in the house over there."

I had a visual of where the woodcutter supposedly lived because the woman had pointed it out for me, and it looked like it was a rather steep hike up the mountain.

And apparently, Lord Halka lived even further up.

I thanked the woman and went on my way, and the climb up was just as steep as I'd imagined.

When I finally arrived at the woodcutter's housed, exhausted even with a trained body such as mine, I found a rather elderly woodcutter dozing off on a tree stump.

I woke the elderly man up and asked him to be my guide, and he began leading me up yet another steep path made my animals that I hadn't imagined would be an easy walk at a first glance.

"Are you acquainted with the Glarks?"

"Yes, he's my benefactor. I came all the way here because I wanted to see him."

"Hmm, you've come quite a long way. But, the magician doesn't drop by the village often, so I can't say for certain if you'll be able to meet."

I was disappointed by what I was told. Still, it was something that I had antic.i.p.ated to a degree.

"Then I'll stay here until I can. Would you know if there's somewhere I can stay?"

"If all you need's a roof over your head, then I have a little hut on this mountain. I don't use it much."

"Thank you."

I gratefully accepted his goodwill. I thought this was a rather nice village, judging by the people who inhabited it.

I was soon to arrive at the final destination of my rushed journey. The elderly man suddenly stopped in the middle of our path up the mountain and pointed me to the rest of the way.

"Those who have no business being here don't go any further. I'll be waiting here. Please walk the rest of the path yourself. The magician here's a good person, but it's still magicians' territory from here on out."

"……Understood. Thank you for guiding me here."

I decided to press on without the elderly man, just as I was told.

I kept a close eye on the path that somehow wasn't swallowed up by the rest of the mountain as I pressed forward.

Once I had pa.s.sed a rather large tree, I found a wide open clearing that I found strange that I hadn't noticed it before.

There was a small wooden house and something that resembled a field of sorts, and there was also water running up from somewhere.

I also saw things lying about that looked like junk in my eyes —but perhaps they were magic tools of some sort?

There were statues of some kind of living creatures carved from wood and something made of metal that looked like a large box.

They were lying scattered all about the place, and they created a rather eerie atmosphere. No wonder the villagers didn't like to get too close unless they had business.

I walked up to the door as I began to understand. There was some sort of small pouch made of gla.s.s that I didn't quite understand on top of the door, and it made a just-barely distinguishable sound when I approached it.

Just what on earth did these curios mean?

Perhaps a side of Lord Halka that I hadn't seen in the capital were hidden within them.

I steeled myself and knocked on the door a few times.

There would probably be no answer, and the door probably wouldn't open. And, as I'd expected, no one returned a reply.

I let out a small sigh as I prepared myself for a test of endurance when the door suddenly opened from the inside.

By the time I realized it, a foreign-looking woman was staring up at me with her eyes wide in surprise.

I hadn't heard her footsteps —had she been standing by the door? I froze up because of this unexpected turn of events.

She had flat features, raven-black hair, and brown eyes so dark that they could have been black. She looked young enough to be considered a girl, but, if she was of the same race as the foreign people I had once met long ago, then she was probably a fully mature woman.

I was trying to figure out who she was in one corner of my mind, but another a.s.saulted me with a peculiar wave of something that was almost familiarity. I was sure that this was the first time we had met, but I felt as familiar with her as if she was a childhood friend.

"Why……?"

she muttered, as if to herself. I felt like I'd heard her voice before, too.

I hide away the mysterious sense of familiarity and said,

"It's nice to meet you. My name is Ricardo Meltsars Bramdy. Is Lord Halka Glark here? I came here today in search of him."

Her gaze swam around for a moment and she looked like she was pondering over something.

I watched her carefully, and I was fairly certain that I had never seen her before. It had probably been just my imagination.

"He isn't here right now. ……May I ask about your business with him?"

"I would like to speak with him. We were living together for a while in the capital……. But, in my own immaturity, I never once tried to understand him even when I owed him a great debt. I am here to correct my shortcomings."

She looked troubled as I revealed my regrets to her.

"I'm very sure that he doesn't consider you to be lacking in any sort of way. Though, I haven't seen him in a while……so I can't offer any proof for my claims."

It looked like she knew Lord Halka better than I did.

"May I ask who you are, Miss, and why you're living in Lord Glark's residence……?"

She fell into thought yet again when I asked, and it was a little while before she answered,

"My name is Ichinose. ……I am simply a freeloader."

And that was all that this woman named Ichinose, a rather unfamiliar-sounding name, would tell me. Perhaps she was hiding something from me, considering the time she took before responding.

Was it something that could lead me to Lord Halka?

"I'm sorry to say this after you've traveled so far to see him, but please return. I am certain that he will go to see you soon."

"No. I will wait for Lord Halka here in the village. I must. I'll be back tomorrow."

And so, I went back the way I came while leaving my willful words behind.

*

Part 2

Miss Ichinose looked troubled after she saw my face and she stood up from her small field.

"You're back? He isn't here today, as usual."

"I plan on making my way back here as many times as it takes. Until I finally see him."

I was sure that she was rather annoyed by this strange man who visited her house every day to check if Lord Halka was here, but Miss Ichinose never let it show and she even worried over me.

"You look like you have an important office back at home, Lord Bramdy. Will everything be all right with your work? It's a long way back to the capital from here.""

"It will be fine —the kingdom won't be in trouble just because I'm not at work."

"Won't things become troubling for you if you're absent for too long?"

"I will deal with it then."

If I were to be censured, I would have to return my t.i.tle and my lands to the kingdom, but then I would also be free to move about as I wished.

Miss Ichinose looked like she was about to cry, perhaps because she had realized how little I cared about my social standing, and she said,

"You should probably go back. Halka doesn't like it when other people sacrifice themselves for him."

"……You truly are rather close to Lord Glark……I mean, Lord Halka, aren't you, Miss Ichinose? You understand what he'd say very well. But you needn't worry. My status is something that I've already given up once."

"I'm sure you'll regret it."

I was sure that she was worried because she had become more familiar with me, but it was a matter that I had already gotten over. And so, I smiled as I replied,

"It will not even come close to the regret I feel now."

Miss Ichinose did not question my crystal-clear response and only placed the vegetables she had harvested in a basket with her eyes wide open in bewilderment.

"I was just about to make lunch. You're slaying in the mountain hut all alone, aren't you? It'll be a rather simple meal, but would you mind eating with me?"

"Thank you. I'd be glad to."

While I was concerned about inviting myself into the house where a woman lived alone, I was more curious about what kind of life Lord Halka had lived and wanted to see it for myself.

I brazenly followed her back, and Miss Ichinose welcomed me into her home.

I walked in to find that there were more curios, no less strange than the ones outside, lining the inside of the cramped house.

Perhaps I had gotten used to seeing them. I had thought they were unsettling at first, but now I could feel that they had been made by warm and caring hands.

It's like……a child's playroom.

The thought popped into my head. Their warped appearances aside, each curio was carved elaborately and was placed in room in a manner that made them readily seen.

They would have been placed more haphazardly if they were only there for research purposes.

Miss Ichinose finished cooking while I was looking around the room and beckoned me over.

"Over here."

"Oh, thank you."

I sat down on a wooden chair and looked down at the food I was offered. It was a simple meal made from things that you could find on the mountain. There was a lot on the table, though, perhaps because I was here.

I noticed that, while I was given a fork and spoon, Miss Ichinose was only using two utensils that looked like sticks.

"I happily partake."

"……I happily partake."

I coped Miss Ichinose and clapped my hands together. She conducted the exact pre-meal ritual that Lord Halka always did before eating.

Had Lord Halka taught her?

Or, was she the one who had taught Lord Halka?

This one ritual made me feel as though I was eating with Lord Halka instead, even though I was with a completely different person in a completely unfamiliar place.

I had to ask all of the questions that I had in my mind. I had resolved myself to do this before coming here today.

After all, only Miss Ichinose knew about the time that Lord Halka had spent while he lived here.

Miss Ichinose deftly used her two sticks to eat without any difficulty. I was rather impressed with how skilled she was.

Which country were her customs from? —I wondered as I observed her each and every action, but I still couldn't figure it out.

I tried some of the soup to find that it was slightly salty and very well-seasoned by the ingredients that had gone into it as its taste spread through my mouth.

"It's delicious."

"I'm glad you like it."

Miss Ichinose's face slackened into a smile when I expressed my opinion.

Oh, there it is again. This is my first time seeing her smile, so why do I feel like I've seen her smile many times before?

Once we were both finished eating, she said the same thing that Lord Halka always said after mealtimes.

"Thank you for the meal."

"……Lord Halka says that as well."

"Does he now?"

"Did you teach it to him?"

"I suppose."

"Where are you from, Miss Ichinose?"

"……I'm from Fahren."

"No, you're not. The people of Fahren don't have this custom."

Fahren was a foreign country populated by people who looked similar to Miss Ichinose. But they did not share Miss Ichinose's eating customs.

Perhaps she noticed the disquieting air that had settled in the room, as she looked as me as though she was searching for something.

"Lord Bramdy. I don't wish to tell you that."

"Then, please tell me more about Lord Halka instead. Where did he come from, and when did he become his predecessor's disciple?"

"That is not something I should be telling you. Please ask him yourself."

I had expected her answer, as I understood that it extremely rude to look into a magician's history because they cast aside their personal pasts when they became disciples.

Even still, I wanted to glean as much information about Lord Halka as I possibly could.

"Then what about you? Why are you here in Lord Halka's house? And why did you lie to me earlier? Who……are you?"

"That's quite a number of questions you're throwing at me all of a sudden."

"I was waiting for an opportunity to. You clearly know a lot about Lord Halka, so I understand that you must be involved with him somehow, but……"

I was a little hesitant to speak my mind exactly as it was, but I ultimately did because I could not find a better way of wording it.

"You're a little too different for me to overlook."

She looked so sorrowful upon hearing my words that I felt guilty for saying them.

"I'm different……you say?"

"Yes."

"Is that so? No, I'm actually well-aware of it. I'm surrounded by objects that the locals have never seen before as I go through my daily life, after all. But, I'm most worried about the difference that I feel in my heart."

Miss Ichinose opened her heart to me more readily than I'd expected. She spoke as if she was speaking about a small hardship that any ordinary person could easily imagine.

But the mysterious objects in the house made me feel as though she was actually talking about something much darker.

"What do you mean by……"

Miss Ichinose looked deeply sorrowful as she continued,

"You've been supporting Halka all this time. I trust you. And so, I'll tell you."

I was overwhelmed by a sense that I had to comfort her when I saw how nervous she was.

But I held back the impulse because I couldn't stop her now that she was finally willing to tell me information that I wanted to hear.

She spun her cup around and looked down at the water inside it before she finally made up her mind and looked back up.

"I am not someone from this world."

"W-what……?"

I failed comprehend what she had said for a second.

After all, her response was so completely outside of my expectations that I couldn't comprehend her.

Her words as sounded as though they were supposed to be a joke, but they were not accompanied by laughter or a light mood in the air.

I had interacted with her so normally up until now, but now she suddenly felt so far away that she may have well as been just a speck in my vision.

I even wondered if she was just mentally ill to begin with.

Perhaps she was staying at a magician's house because there was something wrong with her mind.

I just couldn't understand what she had told me.

But then, I recalled what the old magician who had once lived here was most renown for and was promptly shocked.

Arnold Gusman is the magician who "summoned" Kanaukaleid!!

Arnold had uncovered the existence of other worlds and devoted himself into researching them, and the people had scorned and ridiculed him for it.

They had said that coming into contact with another world would be a miracle. That it was an act that was only possible for a G.o.d.

His proposed spells were so complicated that no one had understood them, and everyone had simply turned him away as he furrowed his brows in frustration. But Arnold would one day prove to be successful.

He had proven the existence of another world by summoning a monster that was so beautiful that it surpa.s.sed human understanding.

And that monster was the red-eyed Kanaukaleid.

The monster, which had been summoned in Harbel, gave rise to a terrifying nightmare.

Our neighboring kingdom had to get involved as it destroyed countless villages, and they couldn't exterminate it even when both kingdoms' armies worked together.

No weapon could breach its thick scales, and no one could chase after it when it took to the skies.

The monster had created so many victims, but it was ultimately left alone because no one could do anything about it.

It wouldn't have been strange for Arnold to have been executed for summoning the monster and creating the tragedy, but his life was spared and he was banished to the countryside instead because the kingdom found value in his rare talent in magic.

And then, his work in summoning had brought Miss Ichinose here as well.

I didn't know what to say to the woman before me. If what she was saying was true, then Arnold's sins were too deep for me to fathom.

I was sure that Miss Ichinose had tasted the despair of being robbed of absolutely everything.

"You don't believe me?"

"……No, I do."

That was all I could muster for a reply.

I had thought that I was prepared when I asked her about her past, but I inadvertently regretted asking when I caught a glimpse of how deep her grief was.

"I was on my way home from school that day. I'd thought that I was. .h.i.t with a sudden dizzy spell. Everything went dark, and my legs gave out from under me. I stayed down until I felt a little better……but everything had changed when I next looked up."

Why did words weigh so heavily on my ears when they were said by something who had lived through the experience?

She, like Kanaukaleid, had come from a completely different world that I could not even imagine.

What strings of fate had led to our meeting, when she was someone whom I should have never been able to meet in the first place?

I felt my sense of reality slipping as I understood that the world that Miss Ichinose was born in and had seen with her own eyes was one that I would never see in my lifetime. I felt like I, and by extension this room, had wandered into a storybook or something.

"What happened to you after that?"

"I didn't understand what had happened to me at first because I didn't understand the language here. I was summoned in the middle of the woods. I remember vividly that the old man who summoned me looked so terribly surprised. He taught me the language, and I did my best to learn it because I was desperate and I thought it would help me get back home one day. And then I learned the truth and despaired."

I had thought that I knew what the word 'despair' meant. I had even thought that I was drowning in it until just recently.

I had felt alone even as I was surrounded by so many people, I was lost because I didn't know why I had been born, and I lamented over the fact that I did not know. I had asked G.o.d to tell me what value my life even carried.

But that was all it was. What despair I had faced was sweet and shallow in comparison to the despair she had known.

After all, I could not comprehend what it meant to have truly lost everything.

"I never once thought about wanting to die. But, I couldn't bring myself to actually do anything either, and I even got to the point where I couldn't bring myself to eat. I could not bring myself to do anything that I needed to do to keep myself alive."

"What about the old man?"

"The old man who summoned me told me that he was a magician by the name Aarold Glark. He regretted the fact that he summoned here. I feel like I can understand him a bit now. He was simply wanted to know if other worlds existed. He only understood his sins when he realized that his intellectual curiosity for the unknown had unwittingly robbed me of my everything. He was overwhelmed by guilt and grief when he saw how I gave up on everything."

The magician, whom Miss Ichinose had called Aarold Glark, was undoubtedly Arnold Gusman. There was no other magician who knew about summoning spells.

Perhaps Arnold hadn't been a bad person. But he hadn't been able to imagine what kind of impact his actions could have on others.

And, not only had he committed a grave mistake with Kanaukaleid once, but he had been immature enough to the point that he had done it again.

It would have brought serious damage to the kingdom if his second summon had also resulted in a monster that could not be dealt with. He should have been made to pay for his crimes with his life the first time around.

Miss Ichinose looked into the distance as she continued speaking about her past.

"I couldn't sleep at night, and I was daydreaming during the days, when Arold brought me a strange wooden doll. When I asked him what it was, he told me that he tried making something that I had spoken about from my world. I was so poorly made that I couldn't help but laugh."

Miss Ichinose pointed at an eerie wooden doll-like thing as she spoke. She continued,

"People usually make this mistake, but those aren't magical tools. They're mostly things from my world that he tried making for me. He saw that I laughed, even if only a little, and continued making them."

"You don't hate him for what he did?"

"I wonder why. At the time, I couldn't have cared less. I didn't think very well of him either, of course. But I couldn't bring myself to dislike him forever when he tried so hard and so awkwardly to better my spirits."

Each any every unshapely and eerie curio spoke volumes of his deep regret and remorse.

She would have been at so much more peace if she had simply hated him and lamented.

Arnold had realized his mistakes. And, he had been touched by the depth of Miss Ichinose's humanly compa.s.sion.

"I must have heard him say he was sorry a million times. It was almost annoying at that point. I felt like a part of my soul was being shaved away every time I heard him say it. And that's why I told him. That there must surely be a reason why I was brought here. It was barely enough to console him, but perhaps I was the one who wanted to believe this most."

It was only a few words, but I felt like I had caught a glimpse of how long and how deeply she had suffered for them.

"My story seems to have gone on a little long. But that is why I am here."

I could not respond.

There was a part of me that didn't want to awkwardly choose the wrong words to say, but there was another part of me that told me that I could not say anything to her because I was someone who had once wanted to kill myself.

Miss Ichinose and Lord Halka overlapped with each other in my mind. They were both compa.s.sionate and endlessly sincere.

……She lived a much straighter life than I did. She knew exactly what kind of person she was, and she was so unyielding in her intent not to stray from her path that it made her awkward.

I could not help but be attracted to the occasional glimpses I caught of innermost thoughts.

"Do you understand who I am now?"

"……Yes."

There were only a few people who would believe her even if she told them her story. And even if they did, no one knew of what kinds of dangers she would face if her story spread.

So, it meant a lot that Miss Ichinose had told me even after knowing all of this.

I could not make the foolish mistake of rejecting her tale just to make things easier for myself.

And so, I asked her one last burning question.

"What do you think of Lord Halka, Miss Ichinose?"

"……Hmm, who could say?"

Miss Ichinose simply smiled and refused to answer the question.

*

The story I had just heard weighed heavily on my heart. I returned to the mountain hut I was borrowing and quietly crossed my arms as I sat down on the creaking old chair.

I have to make it up to her.

This one thought dominated my brain. My relationship to her was not one where I had a direct responsibility to do this.

I was not related to Arnold's mistakes. But, his was still a sin that was committed by someone from the same world as I.

No one else would ever know about the calamity that had befallen Miss Ichinose if I blocked my ears and closed my mouth.

Arnold was dead. Lord Halka and I were the only people in this world who knew of her secret.

Then, who else would act on her behalf if not I, who knew her secret?

……No. That was just an outwardly excuse.

Even if I didn't know about how she had suffered, unbeknownst to the rest of the world. I would not jump into the situation like this if it was anyone else. I would not be feeling this pushy sense of responsibility.

But I had determined that Miss Ichinose, who had once lived together with Lord Halka, was someone worth breaking my heart over and sympathizing for. As another human being, I pitied her, I consoled her for the wounds she had suffered, and I wished that her situation would change for the better.

A small voice resounded though my heart in support of these feelings.

Would Miss Ichinose grow older while living here in this place, so far removed from the rest of the villagers, as if she was in hiding?

She was still such a young woman.

How many times had I kept back my hand from reaching out to her whenever I saw the tremors of her heart? I did not understand my own feelings. I closed my eyes and sank deep into thought.

What should I do? What could I do?

How had she lived when she had been living with Lord Halka? Miss Ichinose had not spoken a word about Lord Halka. Why was that?

My doubts only grew deeper as I pondered over them.

When did Lord Halka and Miss Ichinose first become acquainted? Would Lord Halka really have left Miss Ichinose alone if he had become Arnold's apprentice prior to her summoning?

There was no way he would. I had no doubt that he would have treated her with only the utmost sincerity. And more importantly, he would have opposed the use of such an unethical spell in the first place. I was certain of this.

I could only believe that the disciple and his teacher had not met prior to Miss Ichinose's summoning.

Let's a.s.sume that Lord Halka became Arnold's disciple after the latter had summoned Miss Ichinose.

Lord Halka practiced the same unfamiliar customs that Miss Ichinose did. There was no doubt that Lord Halka knew that she was from another world. It was unlikely that Miss Ichinose hadn't told Lord Halka about this when she had told even me.

It was highly likely that Lord Halka knew that Miss Ichinose had been summoned from another world. He knew this, he accepted this, and he still became Arnold's disciple.

So then, why had he come to regard a magician who had something so unjust as his teacher?

Summoning was considered a great crime in this kingdom. So why did he choose to learn from Arnold?

What if he had no choice but to do it? He had come from somewhere to where Arnold was for some reason.

Ahh, I really don't know anything.

Suddenly, I remembered what had happened at the conference. Lord Halka had learned that Arnold was Kanaukaleid's summoner for the first time upon hearing about it from Samora.

I see now. The only crime of his teacher that Lord Halka had known about was the fact that Arnold had summoned Miss Ichinose to this world. He had accepted the fact that Arnold had summoned Miss Ichinose before he became Arnold's disciple.

Was that why?

I finally understood why Lord Halka had been so outraged that day.

He had been angry about his teacher's past crimes because he knew about Miss Ichinose.

He was angry that Arnold had summoned Miss Ichinose even after accidentally summoning a monster that had taken so many lives and whose existence could not be resolved even now. Or, perhaps, he was angry about the fact that Arnold hadn't told him about it.

Perhaps he was angry at Arnold for his cowardice, for not being able to declare himself a great sinner. The fact that Samora had spoken ill of him had never been the cause of his outrage.

And that was why Lord Halka had been so infuriated by my attempt at consolation.

I had known that Lord Halka didn't care much about appearances.

He was angry for having been betrayed, for never being told the truth. I was sure this was why Lord Halka was so angry at Arnold back then.

If I were to a.s.sume that Lord Halka had become Arnold's disciple while knowing about Miss Ichinose's situation, then he must have had a reason why he had no choice but to do so.

Now that I think back on it, I had never once seen Lord Halka exchange communications with Miss Ichinose. Perhaps he couldn't help but refrain from doing so because her situation was what it was.

If Miss Ichinose was still willing to tell me about this all of a sudden after having been out of contact with Lord Halka for so long, then it must mean that she trusted Lord Halka greatly.

But no, wasn't it more natural to think that they had met before she met me? Had she been willing to tell me about herself because she had heard from Lord Halka that he had left my home?

In any case, this was Lord Halka. I couldn't do anything without finding him first.

I couldn't do anything about myself, about the problems I had left behind in the capital, or about Miss Ichinose before I did.

None of these things were light or easy, and yet Lord Halka, who had been a mere villager until recently, had been shouldering them all by himself until now.

Not because he had wanted to, but because others had placed the burdens on him.

Guilt weighed heavily against my heart and my gaze swam about the room as I organized my thoughts one more time.

Bright sunlight peered in through a crack in the hut's door and into the dim interior.

A dark shadow fell over the gra.s.s and trees outside, and a small white flower that looked like it was in danger of being stepped on at any time had blossomed within the green.

There was a plain brown b.u.t.terfly, similar in color to the trees around it, resting on the flower. When the plain brown b.u.t.terfly, so unadorned I could have mistaken it for a moth, opened its wings, I saw that it was a beautiful lapis lazuli in color on the inside —I could hardly believe it was the same b.u.t.terfly.

My gaze was stolen away by the sudden, splendid change of color shown to me by a single b.u.t.terfly.

And then, I felt my face stiffen up.

A woman who lived alone and made no contact with anyone.

The teacher whom they never talked about.

Their behavior, which suggested that they were very close.

Lord Halka and Miss Ichinose.

There's no way.

But, oh.

I see. So that's how it is!

I was so shocked that I stood up in my giddiness.

It was difficult for me to believe in the answer I had come up with. But the time we had spent together until now told me beyond any doubt that it was true.

My overflowing feelings escaped my lips in a wordless cry.

This one simple fact beat down at my st.u.r.dy vow.

I am a knight. My true feelings, which I had pushed down and hidden away by telling myself as much, were now exposed and refused to allow me to run from them. The shift in perspective was so great that I felt like I had been born anew.

Perhaps my desires could be called worldly and clichéd. Or, perhaps it could be called the purest and most precious blessing given to mankind.

I was consumed by impulse before I could think things through logically.

I couldn't help myself, because my blazing desire was stronger than when I had believed that Lord Halka was a man and never once doubted it.

I ran back the distance —which wasn't all that far— like I was on fire.

*

My home in this world, which I hadn't returned to in quite some time, had been neglected for a while and didn't even carry any traces that people lived in it anymore. It was already generally considered to be a haunted house because of all the things lying around it as it was.

I finally gained the chance to properly face my feelings the day that I managed to return my house to a point where it at least looked closer to a magician's home.

I sat down and sipped at a bitter imitation of tea as I thought.

My feelings for this world were rather complicated. I couldn't sum it up just by saying that I liked or disliked it.

At the beginning, yes, I'd had nothing.

I had no expectations for this world. I was too old to have any hopes for my future like a baby would.

I had forgotten what it meant to be alive. I had lost any reason to eat. Perhaps I had felt resent or sorrow at the time. Everything I was had been buried in my feelings of loss, and it had been too much of a ha.s.sle to even move my hands.

I had been given a small room in this small house. It smelled like wood and earth, and I could hear birds chirping in the mornings. My bed, which was only just large enough for one person to lie down in, was a simple artifact covered only by a single worn sheet.

Time left me behind in that room and pa.s.sed in the blink of an eye.

"Please…"

His voice, which was so familiar to my ears, made me draw him up in my mind.

The old man's wrinkled hand, stiff and warped from his long years, reached out to me.

"Take this."

He placed a distorted clump of wood in the palm of my hand. I tilted my head to the side because I had no idea what it was supposed to be.

It looked like it had been carved, so he had probably carved it with a small knife. I could tell that he had done his best to make it look nice with his unrefined tools.

"Please keep it with you. I know that it's poorly made. But I'll strive to do better. I'll make you bits and pieces of your world for you here."

His hair was white and he had a bit of a beard, and the skin around his eyes was so wrinkled that it reminded me of tree bark. But on the other hand, his eyes made him seem as youthful as a child.

Now that I thought about it, it was probably due to his inexhaustible curiosity for other worlds. Though, it was this innocence of his that had forced my circ.u.mstances upon me.

I had only decided to keep listening to him because I could see that there was no malice in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I regret it……but there's really nothing that I can do. I know that I don't have any right to even face you like this. But please……ahh…"

Arold stopped himself before he could speak his self-convenient and selfish wishes to me.

He could never say it.

He wanted me to live in this world. I'm sure that's what it ultimately was. But he could never tell me this because he realized just how deep his sins against me were.

But, perhaps I was still here in this world because he was the kind of person who almost did ask me to live in this world all things despite.

I had felt like I had been saved, even if only a little, by his hesitation.

I looked down at the wooden figure he had given me. For the life of me, I could not tell what the warped carving was supposed to be.

"……What is this?"

Arold opened his eyes wide in surprise when I finally responded to him. He answered me hurriedly, as though he had been afraid of losing this opportunity.

"It's a "wooden bear carving" that you once told me about. It's a souvenir from somewhere that was cold in your world, right? It snows here too."

A bear. ……A bear!?

Bears existed in this world too. But, no matter how many times I looked at it, it didn't even look like a four-legged animal, much less a bear. And it absolutely looked nothing at all like the bear carvings that Hokkaido was famous for.

Tears had been pouring down the aged magician's face as he smiled back then, so I was sure that I had been smiling too.

Oh……how nostalgic.

I had experienced so many new things, and that memory felt like it had happened so long ago now.

But no matter how many times I looked around the room, there was no one else here but me.

Every time I had felt like I would drown in my sense of loss again, he would pull me back up with his body, with his words, and with his actions.

Arold's continued heartfelt apologies made me forgive him and allowed me to decide he was someone worthy of my trust.

But now. Arold could no longer put a stop on these feelings of mine that had been born from his great betrayal.

"You fool."

Bitter emotions surged within me. It had now become a wave of emotion that hit at fixed intervals.

They were not for the lament of the ma.s.ses of people of this world who had died, but for the lament of the beast who had caused their deaths.

My teacher hadn't known. He hadn't known what Kanaukaleid, who could not speak, felt.

My progress in path in this world, which I had begun walking after I had forgiven Arold, was reset when I lost my faith in him.

I was able to want to live in this world back when I still trusted my teacher. Because I was able to forgive him. I was able to look forward.

But in the end, it had not been some pull of fate that had brought me here.

This sudden knowledge seemed to take everything that I was and trample it underfoot like it had all just been ridiculously wasted effort.

It seemed to tell me that I was nothing more than a victim who'd lost everything, nothing more than a wretched existence that was to be pitied.

It was getting difficult to breathe, so I took a deep breath and changed my line of thought.

I still had just one thing left that, like a choke, I could not cast aside. It was my feelings for the person whom I had left behind at the capital who always looked to me with such straightforward eyes —my knight.

So when my heavy arms moved again.

So when my heavy legs moved again.

I was always being robbed of everything, but I didn't think it'd be bad to expend myself completely for him since he had taught me how to be considerate of others.

I would be able to create another mask for myself to wear after a little more rest.

Though, my heart will die in the process. I ignored the voice whispering inside.

I heard someone knocking at the door as I simmered in my melancholy.

I wonder who it is? I had yet to take a single step out of my house, so the villagers didn't know I had returned yet. No one would come all the way out here in a remote place like this to commit any crimes. Not to mentioned that no one had been courageous enough to do anything to a house that was surrounded by strange objects like mine was in the first place.

But I couldn't ignore the possibility that whoever it was had gotten injured and was seeking help, so I cautiously walked up to the door.

And, speak of the devil, the person standing outside it was the very person whom I had been thinking of.

"Why……?"

I had left him a note saying that I would return. I had thought it would be enough to make him leave me alone.

We had only been apart for a brief amount of time, but I felt like I hadn't seen him in such a long while.

He looked bewildered when he saw me. But he quickly regained himself and courteously offered me his name.

"It's nice to meet you. My name is Ricardo Meltsars Bramdy. Is Lord Halka Glark here? I came here today in search of him."

It was only then that I remembered that I wasn't wearing the disguise that Ricardo was familiar with.

I had undone my spell when I returned to the village. Ricardo wouldn't know that I was me by the way I looked now.

For a moment, I was hesitant about how I should act around him. Should I be honest and confess that this was what I really looked like—someone who didn't fit into this kingdom at all? Or, should I trick him by pretending to be someone else?

The question needn't even be asked when I considered what kind of master he wanted me to be.

"He isn't here right now. ……May I ask about your business with him?"

"I would like to speak with him. We were living together for a while in the capital……. But, in my own immaturity, I never once tried to understand him even when I owed him a great debt. I am here to correct my shortcomings."

Ricardo answered my question with a bitter look on his face.

But I could not understand his answer. He had been more than good enough to me. I was not dissatisfied with anything.

He looked back at me quizzically when I indirectly told him this and asked,

"May I ask who you are, Miss, and why you're living in Lord Glark's residence……?"

I gave him the name that I had stopped using after becoming my teacher's successor.

But really, why was he here? I was sure that there were a lot of people who needed him in the capital.

"I'm sorry to say this after you've traveled so far to see him, but please return. I am certain that he will go to see you soon."

"No. I will wait for Lord Halka here in the village. I must. I'll be back tomorrow,"

he said with a willful light in his eyes, and he went back the way he came before I could change his mind.

Ricardo would probably ruin the peaceful time I was spending in this house.

But I didn't know if this was for better or for worse.

*

Part 3