Trip Down Memory Lane 5 A Cold, Silent Nigh

Even though it felt days for them, only seven hours has pa.s.sed.

"Ahh!" Valera feels the headache similar to when she was in the dark forest. The only difference is that the pain gradually goes even stronger as they walk straight to the blizzard.

"Valera?!" Spirit screamed at her because of the intensity of the blizzard.

"Haa... I... I'm fine! Don't worry about it!" Although it is agonizing for her, this pain is the only indicator she has to get to the end of the blizzard. Ignoring this ache, Valera moves on.

Spirit, on the other hand, is also having some difficulties. Because of his small body, it is hard for him to traverse through this violent snowstorm. All he can do is to get close to her as possible and cast a spell on her to help her survive.

And without warning, the wind is getting stronger than ever. Valera can almost fight off with this wind and continued moving. Although...

"Spirit!" He couldn't take it anymore and lets the wind move him to the opposite direction.

"Go, Valera!! I'll catch up with you!!" As he said this, Spirit is out of Valera's vision.

"..." Valera selflessly thought of going to him, ignoring the current objective. But because of the promise they made before this, she eventually moves forward, hoping for Spirit to come back.

She walked forward like there's no tomorrow and didn't look back.

Thanks to his spell, Valera didn't feel the coldness that emitted on the blizzard's freezing wind. But eventually, his spell will deteriorate, so it is best for her to hurry.

And an hour has pa.s.sed...

Valera can feel the coldness from top to bottom, even if his spell still activated. She already felt shivering and crosses her arms whilst using her breath to warm her up a little.

But the headaches are getting stronger than ever and she slowed down her progress as the pain grows fiercer while she moves forward.

However, her ambition is also strong, helping her to procced through the storm.

Left foot... Right foot...

Valera gets even slower than ever, letting the blizzard force her to stand still for a second and moves her foot once again.

Left foot... Right foot...

Her breathing is crooked and shivers violently as the cold dominates her body. Because of the wind, she can only inhale the coldest of oxygen, making her throat sore and making her breath through her mouth.

Left foot...

...

Valera fell down; making her knees to rest to the cold snow and uses her arms to avoid herself lay down to the ground. She tries to lift her foot, but couldn't.

As she tries to raise her foot once again, she fall to her side and sat down her fatigued body unto the arctic snow, letting her right shoulder feel the coldness of the ground on a fetal position. She looks on the back of her trails and saw no sign of Spirit.

She also sees that the tracks she left behind have gone due to the storm. With this in mind, she didn't seem to expect him to find her.

Having immobile and cannot move at all, she had no choice but to rest on a snow. She almost got adapted to her headaches and ignoring it as she fell unconscious.

As she closes her eyes, the memories slowly goes to her mind, recollecting those sad reminiscences once again.

...

In Valera's 7th grade, she transfers to another school, the school where Phillip is currently in.

When picking this school, Phillip isn't really the only reason why she moved.

Her previous school is a Primary School so she has no choice but to go to his school, which is less distant than the other school.

Although she actually expects Phillip to be her cla.s.smate, both of them are in a separate section.

In her first day of school, the teacher lets the students gives themselves an introduction.

"...Next student, please."

Valera stood up cheerfully.

"I'm Valera P. Miller! 12 Years old and I love looking at the nature in front of me!

I wish we all can be friends in this cla.s.sroom!"

Her enthusiasm makes the room around her a bit brighter due to her happy-go-lucky att.i.tude. And after the introduction of the students, she goes around the cla.s.sroom and continues to befriend people on their free time.

Then, the bell rang.

Nearly all of the students are packing in their bags and goes home. However, Valera sits on a bench, looking at her small notebook containing some names of her cla.s.smates.

"Let's see... James... Penelope... Celeste...

...Hmm..." She puts her pen on her chin, thinking of the people she might forgot to converse with.

"Oh yeah! Those three girls on the corner! I actually forgot about it!" She stood up and quickly walks to their room.

"They were a.s.signed to clean the room this Monday, so I think they might still there."

She swiftly approaches to their room. Valera notices the door to be open so she gets even closer.

"Woah, seriously?! She's the daughter of that famous doctor?!" As she heard what the girls has said, she hides near the door.

There are three girls cleaning the cla.s.sroom, each doing separate duties. One of them is cleaning the blackboard; the other is arranging the seats; and the last one is sweeping the dust.

"Yeah. Apparently, her father died because of his own creation. Kinda sad, really." Karen, who's sweeping on the floor, said.

"And guess what? Valera's actually the one who pulled the cord."

"No kidding!!" "Poor her...!"

Both of them simultaneously said as they're stunned and also feeling sad for her.

Valera, who is hiding in the door, reminisces about the time her father died. She didn't mind it at first, since it is in the past...

...Until someone spouted on her mouth while having a little thought about it.

"...Then...

Technically, she killed her father, right?"

The room went silent and the two girls' looks at her with piercing eyes.

"Come on, Lisa. She didn't have much of a choice, you know? Her father is dying at that time so..." Chara confronts her to get a wider view regarding of their topic at hand.

"But think about it. What if her father is actually alive at that time? If she didn't pull the chord, maybe, just maybe,

Hey father might be still be breathing to this day"

"..." The room turned silent again and the three girls started thinking about Lisa's statement.

Valera, on the other hand, traumatized on what she said.

She tried to forget about it, but she unconsciously overthinks on her opinion.

'I killed him?' is what she's thinking right now.

Knowing about her condition, she moves out of her position of hiding to go home. In spite of this, because of her traumatized state, her notebook slipped on her finger.

She notices her notebook fell and picks it up. However, the girls inside of the room became aware of her existence. They didn't know there was someone listening outside the room. What's more, it was Valera herself.

Valera looks at the three girls, looking devastated. They notices her disturbed face and tries to apologize.

Lisa first said to her, "Valera... I-"

After she finishes her sentence, Valera bolted through the hallway.

She runs as fast as she could to get the frustrations away from her mind. She holds her head with both of her hands and grits her teeth out of infuriation.

'Did I kill him?! Did I actually kill him?!

Of course I didn't! He was hurting back then! I just wanted to make him rest!

But what if he's actually alive?! What if he's actually recovering and was struggling for help?!

NO!! I DIDN"T!! I DIDN"T KILL HIM!!

I DIDN"T!! I DIDN"T!! I DIDN"T!!

I DIDN"T!! I DIDN"T!! I DIDN"T!!....'

With those words echoing in her head, Valera blindly sprints across the hallway. She wanted to go to the exit, but she can't find it. Her vision is fogged due to her tears blocking her eyes. She stops holding her head and tries to escape the seemingly endless hallway.

She runs down the stairs and continues to run.

She ran, and ran, and until she realized, she tripped.

The minds of the old and new memories suddenly intertwined with each other. This experience is very much the resemblance of her experience in the dark forest.

She can't get up because of the weight of her back, like all of her sins are crawling on her back. All she can do is to lie down, crying in grief for what she has done in the past.

Just like what she did in the blizzard, she stayed down and closes her eyes...

"..."

"..era..."

"...valera..."

She regained consciousness as someone calls her name.

"spirit...?" Valera thinks that she's back with Spirit, shouting her name.

"Valera?!" Just as he calls her name again, she realized that it wasn't Spirit that called her.

She wipes her tears and looks up.

"...Phillip?" She looks at his worried face, sweating as if he is concerned about her.

"Are you ok?! Can you stand?!" He reaches her hand at her.

In response of his help, she held his hand to get up.

"Ahh...!" As she finally stood up, Valera loses her balance, tumbling to the ground.

"!" Phillip acted in response of her falling, holding her armpit to support her.

"Valera?!"

"...I...I'm fine, don't worry about it."

"..." He has doubts of her answer. Seeing his childhood friend in pain makes him think otherwise.

"... Stay still. I'll help you up." He wraps her arms around his shoulder and puts his hand on her back, supporting her to not let herself fall. But before they even start moving, Valera said to him,

"I... don't wanna move anymore..."

Phillip saw her face filled with despair. Seeing her quailed face, Phillip does something he didn't think he'll do at a girl.

He kneeled down and extends his arms on his back. "Come on, Valera.

Let's go home."

She didn't think that he would've gone this far. Because of what she did earlier, she just wants to be alone for a while to forget about it. But...

Seeing him doing what he can to help her, she doesn't have any other choice and lets her body rest on his back. She wraps her arms around his neck and let herself to take a break from earlier.

As Valera puts her body on his back, Phillip lifts her up and proceeded to walk home.

Before they even realized, it's already dark outside.

...

As they walked through the bitter night, with the moonlight and streetlights showing the way, Valera stayed silent.

Phillip also does the same to avoid the situation to get awkward.

And finally, Valera broke the silence.

"... Phillip,

Do you think... that I killed my Father?"

Phillip knew about the death of her Father and how is she involved with it since they're kids. He wanted to stop, but proceeds to walk either way.

"Back then... I thought that pulling that cord will end his misery, hoping him to be peaceful once he's pa.s.sed on, but...

What if he's actually alive? What if I didn't pull the cord at the time, my dad should be alive?

What if I... I..."

Phillip felt a sudden wetness on his shoulder. He looks on his back and saw her crying on his shoulders. He didn't know that the impact of the things she did in the past would be so great that it held unto her for the longest time.

He didn't know what to say to make her feel contented, as he doesn't try to help others by words in the past.

Instead, he say's something what was on his head.

"I don't know if what you said was true or not. Sorry to be straightforward of you, but either way, your father will die."

Valera reacted to what he said to her. She's about to say something to him but...

"Back then, you said that your father is in agony right? So for me, it is quite sensible to end his life when he's in excruciating pain, as it'll make him feel better when he's in the afterlife."

"But..." She's trying to say something to him, but can't think of anything to reply to him.

"After the funeral, you ran from your home and go straight to the forest...

And from there, I met you."

From that sentence alone, Valera reminisces the time since they were kids. She responded to that sentence by raising her head and looking towards him.

"I can still remember that time just like yesterday. You were sad back then, very sad. But just as after we introduced with each other, we traveled across the forest, letting you see the most beautiful places I've encountered.

And just like that, you were smiling like you've gone through the most wonderful places on earth."

Valera's frustrations drove out of her body slowly as she hears every word he said to her.

"To be honest, your smile back then is so angelic that I can't even think of explaining it. In that moment alone, I realized that...

I'm glad that you ran through the forest, at the perfect time possible."

She didn't see Phillip's smile after that statement. But all of the same, Valera smiles with comfort.

Her body and soul has warmed by his voice and her body relaxed while also gripping him a bit tighter.

As they walked through the silent night, Valera fell asleep, tired of the frustrations she felt earlier.

...

All of a sudden, Valera regains consciousness.

As she slowly opens her eyes, she's still carried over. After a while, something looked weird on Phillip's body. She tries to correct her vision a bit faster and finally sees the clearer picture.

The one who's carrying her wasn't Phillip.

It was a glowing human-like ent.i.ty, carrying her in its back.

She took a while to realize who it is...

"Spirit!?"

"Hm? Oh, Valera. Took you a while, sleepy-head." Spirit's body is in the center of the ent.i.ty. He emits a warm feeling from the ent.i.ty, making Valera warm in the way.

"How long was I out?"

"About one and half an hour. The blizzard suddenly stopped so I hurriedly come to you.

Fortunately, the snow didn't cover your entire body. For your body covered in snow, it is next to impossible to find you."

Valera felt a bit startled, and also relieved that he found her.

"With my body that is made out of a living flame, I doubt that I would carry you, so I transformed my body into a human-shaped aura and carry you to continue walking."

"...I see." Having someone lifting her up and walking in the night makes her remember Phillip once again. Relaxed, she closes her eyes to get some sleep.

"By the way, Valera. You said that you liked the winter the least, right?"

"Huh?" She opened her eyes again and looks at Spirit.

"You better look up. It might change your views in regards to this season."

Following his instructions, Valera looked up. She didn't think that this phenomenon existed in this place in time. She carefully looked at the starry skies...

And saw the northern lights.

She only saw the northern lights in pictures, but seeing them in person really makes her feel joy to the brim.

A wall of a colorful green light with a small hint of violet, resonating on a dark sky whilst the celestial bulbs of light glimmers across the galaxies. When she looks at the hills of snow, she now understood that the mixture of the darkest of skies and snowiest of snows can be such a sight to behold. Now that she sees this, it is much of a resemblance of the view of a rainbow after the rain, but the scenery she sees now is more elegant and peaceful, as the silent night calms her entirely.

And from that, Valera started daydreaming. Spirit saw her face once more and felt proud that he makes her daydream again.

After that, she is more relaxed than ever. She rests on Spirit's back once again and closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath and silently thought of herself;

"Maybe winter isn't so bad after all."