Plum Spooky Part 31

I climbed into the truck. "That would be great. I really appreciate it. I'm Stephanie."

"Elmer."

He was in his late sixties. His hair was gray and thinning on top. He was wearing a plaid shirt, a navy quilted vest, and khakis. There was a thick layer of dust inside and outside the truck. The floor was littered with fast-food wrappers, and the upholstery reeked of smoke. Not that I was going to judge. I was happy to have a ride.

"What road are we on?" I asked him.

"This is Banger Road. The gas station's at the corner of Banger and Marbury. I guess you're not from around here."

"I'm from Trenton. I was visiting a friend, and I got lost."

"Easy to get lost here. The gas station is just up ahead."

He reached the corner of Banger and Marbury, and the gas station and con ve nience store were closed.

"This here's run by Booger Jackson. I guess Booger had something better to do than keep things open to night," he said. "That's the way it is in this neck of the woods."

I looked at my phone. Still no reception.

"I'll give you fifty dollars if you'll drive me to Trenton," I said.

"Fifty dollars. That's a lot of money."

I wasn't convinced his truck could make it all the way to Trenton, but I'd go as far as he could take me. If I had to flag down another driver in Cherry Hill, it was better than staying here.

"Okay" he said. "I guess you must be in a bind to get home."

He took Route 206, and I didn't object. I didn't think the truck was Turnpike material. Twenty minutes later, I had cell ser vice, and I called Diesel.

"I'm on my way home," I told him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm surprised you're not combing the woods, looking for me."

"I was in the air with Boon all afternoon. He just brought me back to Trenton. Ranger has twenty men on the ground. You need to call him."

"I have a favor to ask. I have no clean clothes. Could you take the laundry basket to my mother's house and ask her to throw everything in the washer?"

"I'm on it."

I dialed Ranger.

"I'm okay," I said.

"Where are you?"

"I'm on my way home."

Lula was next on my list, and then my mother.

"I'm sending Diesel over with laundry," I told my mother. "I'd really appreciate it if you'd throw it all in the washer."

"Where are you? I tried to call. I made lasagna. It's still warm."

"Give some to Diesel when he gets there, and I'll be there in about a half hour."

"Was that your mom?" Elmer asked.

"Yes. She's going to hold dinner for me. You can take me to her house in Chambersburg."

"I haven't been to Trenton in about twenty years. You'll have to give me directions."

IT WAS DARK when Elmer finally chugged to the curb and parked behind the Subaru at my parents' house. when Elmer finally chugged to the curb and parked behind the Subaru at my parents' house.

I wrenched my door open and jumped from the pickup. "I'll be right back with your money" I said.

"I'll be here."

A black Porsche Turbo slid to a stop behind the truck, and Ranger got out. He closed the distance between us, pulled me to him, and held me tight.

"Are you really okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. It was scary, but I got away before anything bad happened."

His voice softened and dropped to a whisper against my ear. "I had to see for myself."

I allowed myself a moment to relax into Ranger. He was warm and strong, and all the bad, frightening things in life went away when he held me like this.

"How did you know I was here?"

"I have the Subaru tagged."

I could feel Ranger smile. He saw the humor in his obsession to keep me on his radar screen.

"Does Diesel know?"

"Hard to tell what Diesel knows." Ranger pulled back a little and looked at me. "Diesel has superbad enemies, and the people he chases aren't normal. You need to be careful if you partner with Diesel."

"He popped into my apartment, and I can't get rid of him."

"You could move into Rangeman until he leaves."

"That's going from the frying pan into the fire."

The smile was back. "In some ways."

"Anyway, he feels like a brother."

"I'm sure he would love that description," Ranger said.

Grandma Mazur opened the front door and looked out. "Stephanie? Is that Ranger with you? Is that your truck?"

"I have to go," Ranger said. "Try to stay out of trouble." He kissed me on the forehead, jogged back to his car, and took off.

Grandma came to see what was going on with the truck. "Who's this?" she said, looking inside at Elmer.

"This is Elmer," I said. "He was nice enough to bring me home when I got stranded in the Barrens."

"He's a cutie," Grandma said. "He don't look too old, either."

"I got most of my original teeth," Elmer said.

"We got a lot of lasagna," Grandma said to him. "We kept it warm for Stephanie. You're welcome to come have some lasagna with us."

"That would be real nice," Elmer said. "I'm starving."

I looked back at the house and saw Diesel standing in the doorway, waiting for me.

"I had to buy more Pepto-Bismol," he said when I reached him. "You're giving me an ulcer."

"I have a lot to tell you."

"What's with the sweatshirt? It looks like someone took a scissor to the bottom of it."

"Munch was trying to get it off me, but it didn't work out."

Diesel grinned. "You kicked him in the nuts again, didn't you?"

"It's my signature move."

He looked beyond me. "Who's the guy with Grandma?"

"Elmer. I flagged him down after I escaped, and I bribed him to drive me home."

"Elmer? And he's from the Barrens?"

"Yeah."

"Honey, you didn't bring Elmer the Fire Farter home with you, did you?"

I glanced back at Elmer. "He didn't say he was the fire farter."

Diesel hooked an arm around my neck and hugged me to him. "This is why I love you."

"Everyone sit down," my mother said, setting the tray of lasagna in the middle of the dining room table. "Frank," she yelled to my father, "come to the table."

"I already ate," my father said.

"You can eat again. Stephanie is here with guests."

My father heaved himself out of his chair. "The big one isn't a guest. I don't know what he is."

"He's like a member of the family," Grandma said.

My father looked down the table at Diesel. "Heaven help us," he said.

Grandma poured Elmer a gla.s.s of wine and gave him a slab of lasagna. "We got red sauce for the lasagna, too," she said, pa.s.sing the gravy boat to Elmer.

"This looks good," Elmer said, digging in. "I can't remember the last time I had a meal like this."

Diesel ate some lasagna and leaned close to me. "This is filled with cheese and hot sausage. I hope Elmer isn't lactose intolerant. He'll burn his truck down on the way home."

At the other end of the table, Elmer was shoveling the food in.

"He doesn't look lactose intolerant," I said. "He's putting extra grated cheese on his lasagna."

My father was swiveled around in his seat, trying to see the tele vision. He was missing a Seinfeld Seinfeld rerun. rerun.

"It was real nice of you to bring Stephanie home," Grandma said to Elmer. "Do you live in the Pine Barrens?"

"Yep," Elmer said. "It's the best place on earth. It's filled with interesting people, and you don't hardly ever see any of them."

"I go to Atlantic City once in a while," Grandma said, "but the bus don't stop in the Pine Barrens."

"Too bad," Elmer said. "We got some good things there. Antique stores and such."

Grandma gave him a second helping of lasagna. "Do you have a job?"

"No. I'm retired. It's hard for me to keep a job on account of I have an affliction."

"What kind of affliction?" Grandma wanted to know.

"I can't talk about it," Elmer said. "It's unmentionable."

Diesel and I exchanged looks.

"Oh boy," I said.

"Are we done yet?" my father asked.

"We haven't even had dessert," Grandma said. "Hold your shirt on."

Elmer sc.r.a.ped his chair back. "I might have to use your restroom."

"It's at the top of the stairs," Grandma told him. "I'll get the coffee started."

Elmer climbed the stairs, and moments later . . . BAROOOOM! BAROOOOM!