Plays of William E. Henley and R.L. Stevenson Part 59

BRIGADIER. They are on duty; but what matters?

MACAIRE. My dear sir, what is duty? duty is my eye.

BRIGADIER (_solemnly_). And Betty Martin. (GENDARMES _sit at table_.)

MACAIRE (_to_ BERTRAND). Dear friend, sit down.

BERTRAND (_sitting down_). O Lord!

BRIGADIER (_to_ MACAIRE). You seem to be a gentleman of considerable intelligence.

MACAIRE. I fear, sir, you flatter. One has lived, one has loved, and one remembers: that is all. One's _Lives of Celebrated Criminals_ has met with a certain success, and one is ever in quest of fresh material.

DUMONT. By the way, a singular thing about my patent key.

BRIGADIER. This gentleman is speaking.

MACAIRE. Excellent Dumont! he means no harm. This Macaire is not personally known to you?

BRIGADIER. Are you connected with justice?

MACAIRE. Ah, sir, justice is a point above a poor author.

BRIGADIER (_with gla.s.s_). Justice is the very devil.

MACAIRE. My dear sir, my friend and I, I regret to say, have an appointment in Lyons, or I could spend my life in this society. Charge your gla.s.ses: one hour to madness and to joy! What is to-morrow? the enemy of to-day. Wine? the bath of life. One moment: I find I have forgotten my watch. (_He makes for the door_.)

BRIGADIER. Halt!

MACAIRE. Sir, what is this jest?

BRIGADIER. Sentry at the door. Your pa.s.sports.

MACAIRE. My good man, with all the pleasure in life. (Gives papers.

_The_ BRIGADIER _puts on spectacles_, _and examines them_.)

BERTRAND (_rising_, _and pa.s.sing round to_ MACAIRE'S _other side_). It's life and death: they must soon find it.

MACAIRE (_aside_). Don't I know? My heart's like fire in my body.

BRIGADIER. Your name is?

MACAIRE. It is; one's name is not unknown.

BRIGADIER. Justice exacts your name.

MACAIRE. Henri-Frederic de Latour de Main de la Tonnerre de Brest.

BRIGADIER. Your profession?

MACAIRE. Gentleman.

BRIGADIER. No, but what is your trade?

MACAIRE. I am an a.n.a.lytical chymist.

BRIGADIER. Justice is inscrutable. Your papers are in order. (_To_ BERTRAND.) Now, sir, and yours?

BERTRAND. I feel kind of ill.

MACAIRE. Bertrand, this gentleman addresses you. He is not one of us; in other scenes, in the gay and giddy world of fashion, one is his superior. But to-day he represents the majesty of law; and as a citizen it is one's pride to do him honour.

BRIGADIER. Those are my sentiments.

BERTRAND. I beg your pardon, I-(_Gives papers_.)

BRIGADIER. Your name?

BERTRAND. Napoleon.

BRIGADIER. What? In your pa.s.sport it is written Bertrand.

BERTRAND. It's this way: I was born Bertrand, and then I took the name of Napoleon, and I mostly always call myself either Napoleon or Bertrand.

BRIGADIER. The truth is always best. Your profession?

BERTRAND. I am an orphan.

BRIGADIER. What the devil! (_To_ MACAIRE.) Is your friend an idiot?

MACAIRE. Pardon me, he is a poet.

BRIGADIER. Poetry is a great hindrance to the ends of justice. Well, take your papers.

MACAIRE. Then we may go?

SCENE IV

_To these_, CHARLES, _who is seen on the gallery_, _going to the door of Number Thirteen_. _Afterwards all the characters but the_ NOTARY _and the_ MARQUIS

BRIGADIER. One gla.s.s more. (BERTRAND _touches_ MACAIRE, _and points to_ CHARLES, _who enters Number Thirteen_).

MACAIRE. No more, no more, no more.

BRIGADIER (_rising and taking_ MACAIRE _by the arm_). I stipulate!