Plays of William E. Henley and R.L. Stevenson Part 29

AUSTIN, MENTEITH, ANTHONY

AUSTIN. I am charmed to have this opportunity, Mr. Musgrave. You belong to my old corps, I think? And how does my good friend, Sir Frederick? I had his line; but like all my old comrades, he thinks last about himself, and gives me not of his news.

ANTHONY. I protest, sir, this is a very proud moment. Your name is still remembered in the regiment. (AUSTIN _bows_.) The Colonel-he keeps his health, sir, considering his age (AUSTIN _bows again_, _and looks at_ MENTEITH)-tells us young men you were a devil of a fellow in your time.

AUSTIN. I believe I was-in my time. Menteith, give Mr. Musgrave a dish of chocolate. So, sir, we see you at the Wells.

ANTHONY. I have but just alighted. I had but one thought, sir: to pay my respects to Mr. Austin. I have not yet kissed my aunt and sister.

AUSTIN. In my time-to which you refer-the ladies had come first.

ANTHONY. The women? I take you, sir. But then you see, a man's relatives don't count. And besides, Mr. Austin, between men of the world, I am fairly running away from the s.e.x: I am positively in flight.

Little Hortense of the Opera; you know; she sent her love to you. She's mad about me, I think. You never saw a creature so fond.

AUSTIN. Well, well, child! you are better here. In my time-to which you have referred-I knew the lady. Does she wear well?

ANTHONY. I beg your pardon, sir!

AUSTIN. No offence, child, no offence. She was a very lively creature.

But you neglect your chocolate I see?

ANTHONY. We don't patronise it, Mr. Austin; we haven't for some years: the service has quite changed since your time. You'd be surprised.

AUSTIN. Doubtless. I am.

ANTHONY. I a.s.sure you, sir, I and Jack Bosbury of the Fifty-Second-

AUSTIN. The Hampshire Bosburys?-

ANTHONY. I do not know exactly, sir. I believe he is related.

AUSTIN. Or perhaps-I remember a Mr. Bosbury, a cutter of coats. I have the vanity to believe I formed his business.

ANTHONY. I-I hope not, sir. But as I was saying, I and this Jack Bosbury, and the Brummagem Bantam-a very pretty light-weight, sir-drank seven bottles of Burgundy to the three of us inside the eighty minutes.

Jack, sir, was a little cut; but me and the Bantam went out and finished the evening on hot gin. Life, sir, life! Tom Cribb was with us. He spoke of you, too, Tom did: said you'd given him a wrinkle for his second fight with the black man. No, sir, I a.s.sure you, you're not forgotten.

AUSTIN (_bows_). I am pleased to learn it. In my time, I had an esteem for Mr. Cribb.

ANTHONY. O come, sir! but your time cannot be said to be over.

AUSTIN. Menteith, you hear?

MENTEITH. Yes, Mr. George.

ANTHONY. The Colonel told me that you liked to shake an elbow. Your big main, sir, with Lord Wensleydale, is often talked about. I hope I may have the occasion to sit down with you. I shall count it an honour, I a.s.sure you.

AUSTIN. But would your aunt, my very good friend, approve?

ANTHONY. Why, sir, you do not suppose I am in leading-strings?

AUSTIN. You forget, child: a family must hang together. When I was young-in my time-I was alone; and what I did concerned myself. But a youth who has-as I think you have-a family of ladies to protect, must watch his honour, child, and preserve his fortune. You have no commands from Sir Frederick?

ANTHONY. None, sir, none.

AUSTIN. Shall I find you this noon upon the Pantiles? . . . I shall be charmed. Commend me to your aunt and your fair sister. Menteith?

MENTEITH. Yes, Mr. George. (_Shows Anthony out_.)

SCENE III

AUSTIN, MENTEITH, _returning_

AUSTIN. Was I ever like that, Menteith?

MENTEITH. No, Mr. George, you was always a gentleman.

AUSTIN. Youth, my good fellow, youth.

MENTEITH. Quite so, Mr. George.

AUSTIN. Well, Menteith, we cannot make no mend. We cannot play the jockey with Time. Age is the test: of wine, Menteith, and men.

MENTEITH. Me and you and the old Hermitage, Mr. George, he-he!

AUSTIN. And the best of these, the Hermitage. But come: we lose our day. Help me off with this. (MENTEITH _takes off_ AUSTIN'S _dressing-gown_; AUSTIN _pa.s.ses R. to dressing-table_, _and takes up first cravat_.)

AUSTIN. Will the hair do, Menteith?

MENTEITH. Never saw it lay better, Mr. George. (AUSTIN _proceeds to wind first cravat_. _A bell_: _exit_ MENTEITH. AUSTIN _drops first cravat in basket and takes second_.)

AUSTIN (_winding and singing_)-

'I'd crowns resign To call her mine, Sweet La.s.s of Richmond Hill!'

(_Second cravat a failure_. _Re-enter_ MENTEITH _with card_.) Fenwick?

of Allonby Shaw? A good family, Menteith, but I don't know the gentleman. (_Lays down card_, _and takes up third cravat_.) Send him away with every consideration.

MENTEITH. To be sure, Mr. George. (_He goes out_. _Third cravat a success_. _Re-enter_ MENTEITH.) He says, Mr. George, that he has an errand from Miss Musgrave.

AUSTIN (_with waistcoat_). Show him in, Menteith, at once. (_Singing and fitting waistcoat at gla.s.s_)-

'I'd crowns resign To call her mine, Sweet La.s.s of Richmond Hill!'

SCENE IV