Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honor Part 149

JOHN.

[_Gravely._] She's happier than she would ever have been if she'd lived.

[BASIL _sighs deeply_.

JOHN.

[_Seeing the revolver._] What's this for?

BASIL.

[_With a groan of self-contempt._] I tried to kill myself in the night.

JOHN.

H'm!

[_He takes the cartridges out and puts the revolver in his pocket._

BASIL.

[_Bitterly._] Oh, don't be afraid, I haven't got the pluck.... I was afraid to go on living. I thought if I killed myself it would be a reparation for her death. I went down to the river, and I walked along the tow-path to the same spot--but I couldn't do it. The water looked so black and cold and pitiless. And yet she did it so easily. She just walked along and threw herself in. [_A pause._] Then I came back, and I thought I'd shoot myself.

JOHN.

D'you think that would have done any one much good?

BASIL.

I despised myself. I felt I hadn't the right to live, and I thought it would be easier just to pull a trigger.... People say it's cowardly to destroy oneself, they don't know what courage it wants. I couldn't face the pain--and then, I don't know what's on the other side. After all, it may be true that there's a cruel, avenging G.o.d, who will punish us to all eternity if we break His unknown laws.

JOHN.

I'm very glad you sent for me. You had better come back to London, and stay with me for the present.

BASIL.

And d'you know what happened in the night? I couldn't go to bed. I felt I could never sleep again--and then, presently, I dozed off quite quietly in my chair. And I slept as comfortably--as if Jenny weren't lying in there, cold and dead. And the maid pities me because she thinks I pa.s.sed as sleepless a night as she did.

[_A sound of voices is heard outside, in altercation._ f.a.n.n.y _comes in_.

f.a.n.n.y.

Please, sir, Mr. James.

BASIL.

[_Angrily._] I won't see him.

f.a.n.n.y.

He won't go away, I told 'im you was too ill to see anybody.

BASIL.

I won't see him. I knew he'd be round, curse him!

JOHN.

After all, I suppose he has a certain right to come here--under the circ.u.mstances. Hadn't you better see what he wants?

BASIL.

Oh, he'll make a scene. I shall knock him down. I've suffered too much through him already.

JOHN.

Let _me_ see him. You don't want him to make a fuss at the inquest.

BASIL.

I've been thinking of that. I know the stories he and his people will make up. And the papers will get hold of it, and every one will blackguard me. They'll say it was my fault.

JOHN.

D'you mind if I have a talk to him? I think I can save you from all that.

BASIL.

[_Shrugging his shoulders, impatiently._] Do whatever you like.

JOHN.

[_To_ f.a.n.n.y.] Show him up, f.a.n.n.y.

f.a.n.n.y.

Yes, sir.

[_She goes out._

BASIL.

Then I shall go.

[JOHN _nods, and_ BASIL _goes out by the door next to that of the room in which_ JENNY _is lying._ JAMES BUSH _appears_.

JOHN.