Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honor Part 140

I thought you were a brave man. They wouldn't have given you that medal if you'd been a coward.

BASIL.

Oh, my dearest, it's not hard to risk your life in the midst of battle.

I can do that--but this needs more strength than I've got. I tell you I can't endure it.

HILDA.

[_Tenderly._] But it'll get better. You'll get used to one another, and you'll understand one another better.

BASIL.

We're too different. It's impossible for it to get better. We can't even go on as we have been. I've felt that the end was coming.

HILDA.

But try--try for my sake.

BASIL.

You don't know what it is. Everything she says, everything she does, jars upon me so frightfully. I try to restrain myself. I clench my teeth to prevent myself from breaking out at her. Sometimes I can't help it, and I say things that I'd give anything to have left unsaid. She's dragging me down. I'm getting as common and vulgar as she is.

HILDA.

How can you say that of your wife?

BASIL.

Don't you think I must have gone through a good deal before I could acknowledge to myself what she was? I'm chained to her for all my life.

And when I look into the future--I see her a vulgar, slatternly shrew like her mother, and myself abject, degraded, and despicable. The woman never tires in her conflict with the man, and in the end _he_ always succ.u.mbs. A man, when he marries a woman like that, thinks he's going to lift her up to his own station. The fool! It's she who drags him down to hers.

HILDA.

[_Much disturbed, rising from her seat._] I wanted you to be so happy.

BASIL.

[_Going towards her._] Hilda!

HILDA.

No--don't.... Please!

BASIL.

If it weren't for you I couldn't have lived. It was only by seeing you that I gathered courage to go on with it. And each time I came here I loved you more pa.s.sionately.

HILDA.

Oh, why did you come?

BASIL.

I couldn't help it. I knew it was poison, but I loved the poison. I would give my whole soul for one look of your eyes.

HILDA.

If you care for me at all, do your duty like a brave man--and let me respect you.

BASIL.

Say that you love me, Hilda.

HILDA.

[_Distracted._] You're making our friendship impossible. Don't you see that you're preventing me from ever having you here again?

BASIL.

I can't help it.

HILDA.

I ought never to have seen you again. I thought there was no harm in your coming, and I--I couldn't bear to lose you altogether.

BASIL.

Even if I never see you again, I must tell you now that I love you. I made you suffer, I was blind. But I love you with all my heart, Hilda.

All day I think of you, and I dream of you in the night. I long to take you in my arms and kiss you, to kiss your lips, and your beautiful hair, and your hands. My whole soul is yours, Hilda.

[_He goes towards her again to take her in his arms._

HILDA.

Oh, no, go away. For G.o.d's sake, go now. I can't bear it.

BASIL.

Hilda, I can't live without you.

HILDA.

Have mercy on me. Don't you see how weak I am? Oh, G.o.d help me!

BASIL.

You don't love me?

HILDA.