Playful Poems Part 19

As Tammie glowered, amazed and curious, The mirth and fun grew fast and furious: The piper loud and louder blew, The dancers quick and quicker flew; They reeled, they set, they crossed, they cleekit, Till ilka carlin swat and reekit, And coost her duddies to the wark, {151a} And linket at it in her sark. {151h} {151b}

Now Tam! O Tam! had they been queans, A' plump and strappin' in their teens, Their sarks, instead o' creeshie flannen, {151c} Been snaw-white seventeen hunder linnen!

Thir breeks o' mine, my only pair, That ance were plush, o' guid blue hair, I wad hae gien them aff my hurdies, For ae blink o' the bonny burdies!

But withered beldams, auld and droll, Rigwoodie hags, wad spean a foal, {151d} {151j} Lowpin' and flingin' on a c.u.mmock, {151e} I wonder didna turn thy stomach.

But Tam kenned what was what fu' brawlie, "There was ae winsome wench and walie," {151i} That night enlisted in the core, (Lang after kenned on Carrick sh.o.r.e; For mony a beast to dead she shot, And perished mony a bonny boat, And shook baith meikle corn and bere, And kept the country-side in fear.) Her cutty sark, o' Paisley harn, {151f} That, while a la.s.sie, she had worn, In longitude though sorely scanty, It was her best, and she was vauntie.

Ah! little kenn'd thy reverend grannie, That sark she coft for her wee Nannie, {151g} Wi' twa pund Scots ('twas a' her riches), Wad ever graced a dance o' witches!

But here my Muse her wing maun cour, Sic flights are far beyond her power; To sing how Nannie lap and flang, (A souple jade she was, and strang,) And how Tam stood like ane bewitched, And thought his very een enriched; Even Satan glowered, and fidged fu' fain, And hotch'd and blew wi' might and main: {152a} Till first ae caper, syne anither, Tam tint his reason a'thegither, {152b} And roars out, "Weel done, Cutty-sark!"

And in an instant a' was dark: And scarcely had he Maggie rallied, When out the h.e.l.lish legion sallied.

As bees bizz out wi' angry fyke, {152c} When plundering herds a.s.sail their byke; {152d} As open p.u.s.s.ie's mortal foes, When, pop! she starts before their nose; As eager runs the market-crowd, When "Catch the thief!" resounds aloud; So Maggie runs, the witches follow, Wi' mony an eldritch screech and hollow. {152e}

Ah, Tam! ah, Tam! thou'lt get thy fairin'!

In h.e.l.l they'll roast thee like a herrin'!

In vain thy Kate awaits thy comin'!

Kate soon will be a woefu' woman!

Now, do thy speedy utmost, Meg, And win the keystane of the brig; There at them thou thy tail may toss, A running stream they darena cross; But ere the keystane she could make, The fient a tail she had to shake!

For Nannie, far before the rest, Hard upon n.o.ble Maggie prest, And flew at Tam wi' furious ettle; {152f} But little wist she Maggie's mettle - Ae spring brought off her master hale, But left behind her ain grey tail: The carlin claught her by the rump, And left poor Maggie scarce a stump.

Now, wha this tale o' truth shall read, Ilk man and mother's son, take heed: Whane'er to drink you are inclined, Or cutty-sarks run in your mind, Think! ye may buy the joys owre dear - Remember Tam o' Shanter's mare.

THE DEMON SHIP

BY THOMAS HOOD.

'Twas off the Wash the sun went down--the sea looked black and grim, For stormy clouds with murky fleece were mustering at the brim; t.i.tanic shades! enormous gloom!--as if the solid night Of Erebus rose suddenly to seize upon the light!

It was a time for mariners to bear a wary eye, With such a dark conspiracy between the sea and sky!

Down went my helm--close reefed--the tack held freely in my hand - With ballast snug--I put about, and scudded for the land; Loud hissed the sea beneath her lee--my little boat flew fast, But faster still the rushing storm came borne upon the blast.

Lord! what a roaring hurricane beset the straining sail!

What furious sleet, with level drift, and fierce a.s.saults of hail!

What darksome caverns yawned before! what jagged steeps behind!

Like battle-steeds, with foamy manes, wild tossing in the wind, Each after each sank down astern, exhausted in the chase, But where it sank another rose and galloped in its place; As black as night--they turned to white, and cast against the cloud A snowy sheet, as if each surge upturned a sailor's shroud:- Still flew my boat; alas! alas! her course was nearly run!

Behold yon fatal billow rise--ten billows heaped in one!

With fearful speed the dreary ma.s.s came rolling, rolling fast, As if the scooping sea contained one only wave at last; Still on it came, with horrid roar, a swift pursuing grave; It seemed as though some cloud had turned its hugeness to a wave!

Its briny sleet began to beat beforehand in my face - I felt the rearward keel begin to climb its swelling base!

I saw its alpine h.o.a.ry head impending over mine!

Another pulse--and down it rushed--an avalanche of brine!

Brief pause had I on G.o.d to cry, or think of wife and home; The waters closed--and when I shrieked, I shrieked below the foam!

Beyond that rush I have no hint of any after-deed - For I was tossing on the waste, as senseless as a weed.

"Where am I? in the breathing world, or in the world of death?"

With sharp and sudden pang I drew another birth of breath; My eyes drank in a doubtful light, my ears a doubtful sound - And was that ship a REAL ship whose tackle seemed around?

A moon, as if the earthly moon, was shining up aloft; But were those beams the very beams that I have seen so oft?

A face that mocked the human face, before me watched alone; But were those eyes the eyes of man that looked against my own?

Oh! never may the moon again disclose me such a sight As met my gaze, when first I looked, on that accursed night!

I've seen a thousand horrid shapes begot of fierce extremes Of fever; and most frightful things have haunted in my dreams - Hyenas--cats--blood-loving bats--and apes with hateful stare - Pernicious snakes, and s.h.a.ggy bulls--the lion, and she-bear - Strong enemies, with Judas looks, of treachery and spite - Detested features, hardly dimmed and banished by the light!

Pale-sheeted ghosts, with gory locks, upstarting from their tombs - All phantasies and images that flit in midnight glooms - Hags, goblins, demons, lemures, have made me all aghast, - But nothing like that GRIMLY ONE who stood beside the mast!

His cheek was black--his brow was black--his eyes and hair as dark; His hand was black, and where it touched, it left a sable mark; His throat was black, his vest the same, and when I looked beneath, His breast was black--all, all was black, except his grinning teeth, His sooty crew were like in hue, as black as Afric slaves!

Oh, horror! e'en the ship was black that ploughed the inky waves!

"Alas!" I cried, "for love of truth and blessed mercy's sake, Where am I? in what dreadful ship? upon what dreadful lake?

What shape is that, so very grim, and black as any coal?

It is Mahound, the Evil One, and he has gained my soul!

Oh, mother dear! my tender nurse: dear meadows that beguiled My happy days, when I was yet a little sinless child - My mother dear--my native fields I never more shall see: I'm sailing in the Devil's Ship, upon the Devil's Sea!"

Loud laughed that SABLE MARINER, and loudly in return His sooty crew sent forth a laugh that rang from stem to stern - A dozen pair of grimly cheeks were crumpled on the nonce - As many sets of grinning teeth came shining out at once: A dozen gloomy shapes at once enjoyed the merry fit, With shriek and yell, and oaths as well, like Demons of the Pit.

They crowed their fill, and then the Chief made answer for the whole:- "Our skins," said he, "are black, ye see, because we carry coal; You'll find your mother sure enough, and see your native fields - For this here ship has picked you up--the Mary Ann of Shields!"

A TALE OF A TRUMPET

BY THOMAS HOOD.

"Old woman, old woman, will you go a-shearing?

Speak a little louder, for I'm very hard of hearing."

--Old Ballad.

Of all old women hard of hearing, The deafest sure was Dame Eleanor Spearing!

On her head, it is true, Two flaps there grew, That served for a pair of gold rings to go through, But for any purpose of ears in a parley, They heard no more than ears of barley.

No hint was needed from D. E. F., You saw in her face that the woman was deaf: From her twisted mouth to her eyes so peery, Each queer feature asked a query; A look that said in a silent way, "Who? and What? and How? and Eh?

I'd give my ears to know what you say!"

And well she might! for each auricular Was deaf as a post--and that post in particular That stands at the corner of Dyott Street now, And never hears a word of a row!

Ears that might serve her now and then As extempore racks for an idle pen; Or to hang with hoops from jewellers' shops; With coral; ruby, or garnet drops; Or, provided the owner so inclined, Ears to stick a blister behind; But as for hearing wisdom, or wit, Falsehood, or folly, or tell-tale-t.i.t, Or politics, whether of Fox or Pitt, Sermon, lecture, or musical bit, Harp, piano, fiddle, or kit, They might as well, for any such wish, Have been b.u.t.tered, done brown, and laid in a dish!

She was deaf as a post,--as said before - And as deaf as twenty similes more, Including the adder, that deafest of snakes, Which never hears the coil it makes.

She was deaf as a house--which modern tricks Of language would call as deaf as bricks - For her all human kind were dumb, Her drum, indeed, was so m.u.f.fled a drum, That none could get a sound to come, Unless the Devil, who had Two Sticks!

She was as deaf as a stone--say one of the stones Demosthenes sucked to improve his tones; And surely deafness no further could reach Than to be in his mouth without hearing his speech!

She was deaf as a nut--for nuts, no doubt, Are deaf to the grub that's hollowing out - As deaf, alas! as the dead and forgotten - (Gray has noticed the waste of breath, In addressing the "dull, cold ear of death"), Or the felon's ear that is stuffed with cotton - Or Charles the First in statue quo; Or the still-born figures of Madame Tussaud, With their eyes of gla.s.s, and their hair of flax, That only stare whatever you "ax,"

For their ears, you know, are nothing but wax.

She was deaf as the ducks that swam in the pond, And wouldn't listen to Mrs. Bond, - As deaf as any Frenchman appears, When he puts his shoulders into his ears: And--whatever the citizen tells his son - As deaf as Gog and Magog at one!

Or, still to be a simile-seeker, As deaf as dogs'-ears to Enfield's Speaker!