Playful Poems Part 10

Unto the Common Pleas I yode tho, {81} Where sat one with a silken hood; I did him reverence, for I ought to do so, And told my case as well as I could, How my goods were defrauded me by falsehood.

I got not a mum of his mouth for my meed, And for lack of Money I might not speed.

Unto the Rolls I gat me from thence, Before the clerks of the Chancerie, Where many I found earning of pence, But none at all once regarded me.

I gave them my plaint upon my knee; They liked it well when they had it read, But lacking Money I could not be sped.

In Westminster Hall I found out one Which went in a long gown of ray, {82a} I crouched and kneeled before him anon, For Mary's love of help I him pray.

"I wot not what thou mean'st," gan he say; To get me thence he did me bede: For lack of Money I could not speed.

Within this Hall, neither rich nor yet poor Would do for me aught although I should die.

Which seeing, I got me out of the door Where Flemings began on me for to cry, "Master, what will you copen or buy? {82b} Fine felt hats, or spectacles to read?

Lay down your silver, and here you may speed."

Then to Westminster Gate I presently went, When the sun was at highe prime; Cooks to me they took good intent, And proffered me bread with ale and wine, Ribs of beef, both fat and full fine; A fair cloth they gan for to sprede, But wanting Money I might not then speed.

Then unto London I did me hie, Of all the land it beareth the prize.

"Hot peascods!" one began to cry, "Strawberry ripe!" and "Cherries in the rise!" {82c} One bade me come near and buy some spice, Pepper and saffron they gan me bede, But for lack of Money I might not speed.

Then to the Cheap I began me drawn, Where much people I saw for to stand; One offered me velvet, silk, and lawn, Another he taketh me by the hand, "Here is Paris thread, the finest in the land!"

I never was used to such things indeed, And wanting Money I might not speed.

Then went I forth by London Stone, Throughout all Can'wick Street. {83} Drapers much cloth me offered anon; Then comes me one cried, "Hot sheep's feet!"

One cried, "Mackerel!" "Rushes green!" another gan greet; One bade me buy a hood to cover my head, But for want of Money I might not be sped,

Then I hied me into East Cheap; One cries "Ribs of beef," and many a pie; Pewter pots they clattered on a heap, There was harp, pipe, and minstrelsie.

"Yea, by c.o.c.k!" "Nay, by c.o.c.k!" some began cry; Some sung of Jenkin and Julian for their meed, But for lack of Money I might not speed.

Then into Cornhill anon I yode, Where was much stolen gear among; I saw where hung mine owne hood That I had lost among the throng: To buy my own hood I thought it wrong; I knew it well as I did my Creed, But for lack of Money I could not speed.

The taverner took me by the sleeve, "Sir," saith he, "will you our wine a.s.say?"

I answered, "That cannot much me grieve, A penny can do no more than it may."

I drank a pint, and for it I did pay.

Yet soon ahungered from thence I yede, And wanting Money I could not speed.

Then hied I me to Billingsgate, And one cried, "Hoo! Go we hence!"

I prayed a barge man, for G.o.d's sake, That he would spare me my expence.

"Thou sc.r.a.p'st not here," quoth he, "under two pence; I list not yet bestow any alms deed."

Thus lacking Money I could not speed.

Then I conveyed me into Kent; For of the law would I meddle no more, Because no man to me took intent, I dight me to do as I did before.

Now Jesus, that in Bethlehem was bore, Save London, and send true lawyers their meed!

For whoso wants Money with them shall not speed.

BICORN AND CHICHEVACHE BY JOHN LYDGATE.

First there shall stand an image in Poet-wise, saying these verses:-

O prudent folkes, taketh heed, And remembreth in your lives How this story doth proceed Of the husbands and their wives, Of their accord and their strives, With life or death which to darrain {85a} Is granted to these beastes twain.

Then shall be pourtrayed two beasts, one fat; another lean.

For this Bicorn of his nature Will none other manner food, But patient husbands his pasture, And Chichevache eat'th the women good; And both these beastes, by the Rood, Be fat or lean, it may not fail, Like lack or plenty of their vitail.

Of Chichevache and of Bicorn, {85b} Treateth wholly this matere, Whose story hath taught us beforn How these beastes both infere {85c} Have their pasture, as you shall hear, Of men and women in sentence Through suffrance or through impatience.

Then shall be pourtrayed a fat beast called Bicorn, of the country of Bicornis, and say these three verses following:-

"Of Bicornis I am Bicorn, Full fat and round here as I stand, And in marriage bound and sworn To Chichevache as her husband, Which will not eat on sea nor land But patient wives debonair, Which to their husbands be n't contraire

"Full scarce, G.o.d wot, is her vitail, Humble wives she finds so few, For always at the contre tail Their tongue clappeth and doth hew.

Such meeke wives I beshrew, That neither can at bed ne board Their husbands not forbear one word.

"But my food and my cherishing, To tell plainly and not to vary, Is of such folks which, their living, Dare to their wives be not contrary, Ne from their l.u.s.tes dare not vary, Nor with them hold no champarty, {86a} All such my stomach will defy." {86b}

Then shall be pourtrayed a company of men coming towards this beast Bicornis, and say these four ballads:-

"Fellows, take heed and ye may see How Bicorn casteth him to devour All humble men, both you and me, There is no gain may us succour; Wo be therefore in hall and bower To all those husbands which, their lives, Make mistresses of their wives.

"Who that so doth, this is the law, That this Bicorn will him oppress And devouren in his maw That of his wife makes his mistress; This will us bring in great distress, For we, for our humility, Of Bicorn shall devoured be.

"We standen plainly in such case, For they to us mistresses be; We may well sing and say, 'Alas, That we gave them the sovereigntie!

For we ben thrall and they be free.

Wherefore Bicorn, this cruel beast, Will us devouren at the least.

"But who that can be sovereign, And his wife teach and chastise, That she dare not a word gainsain Nor disobey in no manner wise, Of such a man I can devise He stands under protection From Bicornis jurisdiction."

Then shall there be a woman devoured in the mouth of Chichevache, crying to all wives, and say this verse:-

"O n.o.ble wives, be well ware, Take example now by me; Or else affirme well I dare Ye shall be dead, ye shall not flee; Be crabbed, void humilitie, Or Chichevache ne will not fail You for to swallow in his entrail."

Then shall there be pourtrayed a long-horned beast, slender and lean, with sharp teeth, and on her body nothing but skin and bone.

"Chichevache, this is my name, Hungry, meagre, slender, and lean, To show my body I have great shame, For hunger I feel so great teen; {88c} On me no fatness will be seen, Because that pasture I find none, Therefore I am but skin and bone.

"For my feeding in existence Is of women that be meek, And like Grisield in patience Or more their bounty for to eke; But I full long may go and seek Ere I can find a good repast, A morrow to break with my fast.

"I trow there be a dear year Of patient women now-a-days.

Who grieveth them with word or cheer Let him beware of such a.s.says; For it is more than thirty Mays That I have sought from lond to lond, But yet one Grisield ne'er I fond.

"I found but one in all my live, And she was dead ago full yore; For more pasture I will not strive Nor seeke for my food no more.

Ne for vitail me to restore; Women ben woxen so prudent {88a} They will no more be patient."

Then shall be pourtrayed, after Chichevache, an old man with a baton on his back, menacing the beast for devouring of his wife.

"My wife, alas, devoured is, Most patient and most pesible!