Playboy Boss, Pregnancy Of Passion Part 21

And Luke dearly wished he'd accepted the invitation to stay and be part of them, even if it was only for a little while.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN.

OVER the next three weeks, with Luke's full agreement, Sara cut down her hours working with him and spent half her time in Kent and half her time in London.

At the end of the first week, he gave her a key to his flat. 'This isn't a statement of intent,' he warned, 'and we're not living together exactly, but I was thinking... If you stay here while you're in London, then at least we'll get to see something of each other.'

Sara thought it was as near as a man like Luke was ever going to get to a declaration of intent, and she was happy with that. Even better, Luke unbent enough to spend Sundays with her family, and he really did muck in with everyone else, insisting on doing the washing up and carrying things through to the dining table. He always brought her mother flowers, spent time talking business with her father-and then walked hand in hand with her in the orchard after lunch, kissing her next to every tree.

'You really need to be here at apple blossom time,' Sara said. 'It's lovely; you lie looking up at the trees, and the blossom floats down like-' She stopped the word in time, but she knew he'd guessed what she'd almost said.

Confetti.

He let it pa.s.s, but she was aware he'd quietly put a barrier up.

On the Wednesday night of the third week, she got up at stupid o'clock, feeling queasy. It must, she thought, have been something she'd eaten. She sipped a gla.s.s of cold water, very slowly, and told herself she'd be fine in the morning.

Except she wasn't. The queasiness didn't pa.s.s during the day. And, worse still, it suddenly hit her that her period was late.

It couldn't be.

She was always regular, always twenty-eight days on the dot. A swift calculation told her she was three days late. And she hadn't noticed because she'd been rushing around between Kent and London.

She and Luke hadn't taken any risks-they'd always been scrupulous about using condoms-so she was pretty sure it was caused by stress, worrying about her parents and the orchard. But all the same she decided to take a pregnancy test. It was bound to be negative, but she knew that actually seeing a negative result would help to settle her fears.

Luckily Luke was in a meeting so she had time to buy it without him knowing. She didn't want to tell him because she knew how he felt about having children; although he seemed to have softened a bit since meeting her family, she knew that most of his barriers were still there and she wasn't going to take anything for granted.

She bought a digital test, read the instructions and headed for the bathroom. Once she'd done the test, she sat watching the window on the test stick. The window was flashing, showing that the test was working. Any minute now, the confirmation would come up: Not Pregnant. Any minute now.

And then the screen changed.

It really couldn't be any clearer.

Pregnant.

Sara stared at it, horrified. Pregnant? How on earth was she going to tell Luke? He had issues about families as it was; he still hadn't told her the whole story, but she guessed his problems lay with his experiences as a child.

And if she told him she was expecting their baby-that he was going to be part of a family again, whether he liked it or not-how was he going to react? Would he be pleased? Would he be horrified? Would he retreat even further behind his barriers?

She had no idea.

She knew without having to ask that her family would be supportive. But the important one here was Luke. Would this be the one thing that pushed him away from her completely?

She couldn't think straight; her head felt fuzzy. And maybe it was the power of suggestion, but she was promptly sick.

'You look a bit pale,' Luke said when he returned to the office.

'I'm fine,' Sara said, giving him a smile that he thought was a little too bright.

He wasn't so sure. She'd been under a lot of strain lately, worrying about her parents and the orchard. 'Look, if you've got a headache, don't just sit there and struggle on. Take the afternoon off. Go upstairs and have a nap or something. There's some paracetamol in the medicine kit in the kitchen-it's the green box under the sink.'

'I'm fine. I don't need a nap.'

But, a few moments later, she bolted from the room, her hand over her mouth.

An autumn virus, maybe?

But Luke had a bad feeling about this. It was too reminiscent of the way Di had behaved in the early stages of her pregnancy: looking tired and pale, and then rushing from the room to be sick.

Could Sara be pregnant?

They'd always been careful. Always used a condom.

But supposing one had split and he hadn't noticed?

Then again, some couples spent months trying to make a baby. For Sara to be pregnant after just one accident, well, it was pretty unlikely.

Unlikely...but not impossible.

Was Sara expecting his baby?

His head spun. It was the worst possible thing that could happen.

He didn't want children. Never had, never would.

How could he possibly be a good father? His own had let him down. And, no matter how hard Luke tried to avoid it, he knew he'd end up following the pattern. It was inbuilt. He'd let his child down. Let Sara down.

And another deeper fear crept in. Would Sara let him down? If he took the risk and let her through his last barrier, let himself believe in families again...what if it went wrong?

He didn't think he could walk away intact this time.

h.e.l.l, h.e.l.l, h.e.l.l.

This was a nightmare.

But it was one he was going to have to face head-on.

Sara walked back into the office, and her face was even paler. He fetched her a gla.s.s of water.

'Thank you.' This time, her smile was slightly wobbly.

He stayed where he was, in front of her desk. 'I think we need to talk.' He folded his arms. 'Is there anything you want to tell me?'

'Such as?'

Might as well ask her straight. 'Were you throwing up just now?'

She closed her eyes. 'It's probably a virus.'

'Sara. Look at me.'

She did so, and sighed. 'All right. Yes. I'm pregnant. I don't know how pregnant-I only did the test today.'

The world spun and he felt sick. 'And you never even thought to tell me you suspected it?'

'I didn't. Not until today. When I started feeling sick and realised my period's a few days late. I thought it was stress, but I wanted to be sure.' She dragged in a breath. 'That test was meant to rea.s.sure me that I'm not pregnant.'

He knew he ought to be kind. That he ought to hold her and tell her he'd support her. But fear pushed him into snapping at her. 'How?'

'How do you think babies are made, Luke?' she sniped back.

'I know that. I meant how, when we were always careful to use a condom?'

'I don't know.' She looked wearily at him. 'I suppose I should be grateful that you're not questioning whether it's yours.' Her eyes narrowed. 'At least, I hope you're not.'

'Of course I'm not,' he snapped. It hadn't even occurred to him.

All he could focus on was the fact that he was going to be a father.

That he didn't know how to be a father.

That this was a monumental mess.

'I'll do the right thing by you,' he said, looking away.

'What?'

'Marry you.'

And then the phone rang. He stomped over to his desk, grateful for the diversion, and picked it up. 'Luke Holloway.'

Just what he needed. A problem with a contract that his solicitor needed to discuss with him. The timing couldn't have been better. 'OK. I'll be there. Twenty minutes.' He replaced the receiver. 'I have to go. Legal stuff. I'll be back later-we'll talk then. Leave a message on my mobile's voice mail if anything crops up.'

And then he walked out of the office. Into the fresh air. Where, just for a few seconds, he could breathe again.

Luke could see that Sara was spoiling for a fight the minute he walked back into the office. Her face was tight with tension, and she was slamming her fingers onto the keyboard instead of using her usual light touch.

'Hi,' he said.

She lifted her chin. 'Where the h.e.l.l have you been?'

'Sorting out legal stuff. As you know.'

'And it didn't occur to you to call me or text me, let me know you were on your way back?'

It had. He'd decided against it; the kind of conversation he'd known he'd face was the sort that was much better conducted face to face. 'What's the problem?'

'What's the problem?' She shook her head in apparent disbelief. 'I tell you I'm pregnant, and you tell me you'll do the right thing by me.'

He spread his hands. 'What did you want me to do? Tell you that you were on your own?'

'It's the way you did it, Luke. You didn't even look at me when you talked about marriage. And you couldn't wait to get away. If I were the paranoid type, I'd say that you rigged that call from your solicitor. It couldn't have come at a more perfect time for you.'

'Apart from the fact I had no idea what you were going to tell me,' he reminded her, 'you're perfectly at liberty to call my solicitor and check where I've been. I don't have any reason to lie to you, Sara.' He tossed his mobile phone over to her. 'Here. Check the call list.'

'I don't need to check the call list!' She threw it back at him. Hard.

'Don't you think you're being a bit-' He stopped abruptly, seeing real anger in her face.

'Don't you dare accuse me of being hormonal, Luke Holloway. It's got nothing to do with that. It's the fact that you're so b.l.o.o.d.y compartmentalised. You're emotionally lacking.'

There wasn't anything he could say to that. Because he knew it was true.

'Luke, I'm pregnant. With our child. Doesn't that mean anything to you?'

'Of course it does. I told you I'd marry you. I'll put your name on the deeds of the flat along with mine. It's up to you whether you want to carry on working after the baby's born; if you don't want to, then that's fine-I'll add your name to my bank account and I'll make sure you're not short of money.' It was the perfect deal.

'It's got nothing to do with money! What about your time, Luke?'

'Time?'

'Time. Are you going to cut down your working hours to spend time with me and our baby?'

'I...' He faltered.

'I thought not. You can't run my life, or our child's, like the way you run a business. Life doesn't work like that. And if you can't see that...' She gave him a look of utter disgust, picked up her handbag and slammed the office door behind her. Hard.

Luke dropped into his chair. He'd give her a couple of days to calm down and see sense and then he'd go and fetch her. Talk it over rationally. Get her to see that he'd given her the perfect offer.

But in the meantime he needed a temp to keep things ticking over. Sighing, he picked up the phone and dialled the agency's number. Arranged for someone to come in, first thing in the morning.

Although he worked until his eyes ached, he couldn't settle that evening and he slept badly that night. It didn't feel right, not having Sara next to him. He missed the warmth of her body against his.

The kitchen didn't feel right, either.

Or the living room.

Everything felt very slightly out of shape. As if it didn't fit him any more.

Which was ridiculous.

He lasted three days before he called her again. Her mobile phone was switched off, the phone in Justin's flat seemed to be permanently on answering machine and she didn't return a single one of his texts. By the time Luke was meant to meet Karim on the Monday evening, he was in a seriously foul temper.