Play Like A Man, Win Like A Woman Part 10

Last spring at Neiman Marcus I saw an array of jackets and matching skirts in lovely, vibrant colors, all cheerfully lined up right next to a rack of the neutral-toned pants suits I normally wear. My immediate urge was to buy something in one of those wonderful colors, but then I thought of all those hot Atlanta afternoons and how I'd have to wear panty hose if I wore a skirt.

Even though I wanted to think of myself as a person who would wear bright colors, as I looked at the mirror, I knew that's not who I am. I'm the gray pants suit woman-at least at this point in my life.

My daughter tries on dozens of almost identical white blouses and then finds the one she feels is her. No one else can see a difference. When you try on these directions, do the same. If you don't like the way you look, know that many other women don't either. But also know that if you reject the outfit altogether, you may regret it 15 years down the road.

Even if you feel stuck at a company where you don't always feel comfortable, you can still try to find a place while remaining true to yourself.

Why do so many of us go into public relations, or human resources, or creative services? Some feminists say it's because men shuttle us off to the pink-collar ghetto, end of story. But I think that being in an area such as human resources lets us appreciate our impact on others. Today, for example, you may have helped a single mother find day care so she could keep her job, or you led an unhappy junior executive to a satisfying position in a new department, and you feel terrific about it.

As you scrutinize the job market, do the same for yourself. Say you were a pa.s.sionate environmentalist in college, and now you take a job at a company considered a major polluter. Will you be happy? Or do you really just want to make money? Admit it to yourself. There's nothing inherently wrong with that choice.

The other day I interviewed a young woman who told me that she was looking for a job where she could make as much money and meet as many eligible guys as possible. She hoped to marry within a few years, but in the meantime, she wanted to live well. I don't care what the job is, she said, as long as it fills those requirements.

A colleague of mine thought this job-seeker was shameless, but I was impressed-this woman knew herself. A lot of us can recognize ourselves in her remarks, but we may be afraid to admit it, because her ambitions are so bold and sound so inappropriate.

"I want to work in a socially responsible company," we say, and we mean it. But maybe not forever. This young woman used to care about saving the world too in her twenties. Now she wants to save herself. And maybe she'll change again.

If you don't want to be a martyr at the office, decide what matters to you. Talk aloud to yourself. Speaking your vision gets you halfway there. What do you dream about? Write down your fantasies. Make lists. We've been trained to be in touch with everyone else's needs rather than our own. But if you don't know what you want from the business world, you'll never get it. Believe me, no one else will get it for you.

The ultimate satisfaction for a businesswoman is to feel good about herself, her bosses, and the company she works for. It's difficult to find this match in the large corporation. Stack the odds in your favor by living into your fullest sense of yourself. See everything as possible. Be the person who says she can get it done. Don't be caught in the old myth about what you can't do. Create your own myths about what you can do. If you're blocked, sit back and figure out how to make a creative detour. Never accept a stop sign as a brick wall. Accept that sometimes you have to back up to go forward. Know there's nothing that you can't do if you set your mind to it.

Women have so much to offer the world. Someday, when phrases such as gla.s.s ceiling no longer exist, we will change the workplace in unimaginable ways. In the meantime, remember: Have a good time. Be yourself. Love your life. And love the game.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS.

So many people have helped me throughout my career and throughout the course of this book. I thank each and every one of you, and wish I could cite every name. There are a few people, however, I must single out: Jeanne Mintz, my first boss, who taught me that a woman could be anything she wanted; former congressman William Fitts Ryan, who showed me that you never have to give up your values and your ideals, no matter how great the pressure; Don Farmer and Chris Curle, for their friendship and everything they taught me about television, and also for giving me (more than once) the opportunity to make television news a career; Burt Reinhardt, for his wisdom, his smile, and his unfailing, quiet support; Ed Turner, a brilliant writer and editorial maestro; Tom Johnson, a man of true integrity who believed in me and gave me a place at the table; Rick Kaplan, a great egalitarian and superb television producer; Ted Turner and Gerry Levin, whom I feel privileged to work for every day; Wendy Guarisco, a truly fine researcher; the Landmark Forum, where I learned that personal and professional breakthroughs are always attainable; Jan Miller, a terrific agent and wonderful friend; Suzanne Oaks and Bob Asahina, my excellent editors at Broadway Books; Jane Leavey, Bobbie Goldin, and Jackie Damgaard, for their support and friendship; Jarvin Levison, for his understanding and his legal guidance; my father, whose pride in his daughter still makes me smile today; my daughters-in-law Laurie and Kathy, and their beautiful children Drew, Alec, and Sarah, who bring joy to my life every day; my sister Bonnie Reeves and my sister-in-law Judith Evans, both successful executives who provided me with a glimpse into other parts of corporate America; Bob Evans, for his support and encouragement; John Reeves, Eli Evans, and Josh Evans, the wonderful men in my family; my mother-in-law Sara Evans, the consummate businesswoman; Alvin Goldstein, my guru, my coach, my best friend, and the person who opened me to the world of possibility; and Goode, who never tires of hearing my stories.

I also want to mention some of my many CNN friends and co-workers, past and present, including: Wendy Whitworth, Judy Milestone, Diane Durham, Lucy Spiegel, Jennifer Zeidman, Jennifer Maguire, Teya Ryan, Sue Bunda, Pat Mitch.e.l.l, Sue Binford, Catherine Crier, Greta Van Susteren, Julia Sprunt, Judy Woodruff, Eason Jordan, Don Smith, Steve Korn, Rick Davis, Frank Sesno, Bob Furnad, Robin Tanner, Alma Scroggins, Jane Maxwell, Dave Kohler, Patrick Reap, Carol Buckland, Chris Mould, Sid Bedingfield, Keith McAllister, Jill Neff, Joy di Benedetto, Gail Chalef, Cory Charles, Susan Toffler, Bonnie Anderson, David Bernknopf, Samantha Robinson, Renee Davis, Jodi Fleisig, Ashley Van Buren, Betsy Goldman, Joan Klunder, Cindy Patrick, Susan Grant, and Lauren Oltarsh.

And finally: Gene Stone, who bravely took me by the hand and made it possible for me to write this book. I am in awe of his ability to turn my conversations into the written word. Most important, working with him was great fun. He never failed to offer the right degree of support and friendship.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR.

As executive vice president of the CNN Newsgroup, Gail Evans oversees the domestic networks' program and talent development. Additionally she is responsible for CNN's talk show programs and the booking and research departments. Evans's programs have received numerous awards, including a Commendation Award from American Women in Radio and Television and the Breakthrough Award for Women, Men, and Media, as well as several Emmy nominations. She lives in Atlanta.

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