Picked Up In Winter Chapter 15

Translator: Ranka

Editor/TLC: Barb

Picked Up In Winter – <15>

It was a far cry from when I first left home.

At that time I just wanted to escape from the reality that was suppressing me. The only one in my family, my mother. Ever since I was little, it was only me and my dear mother living together……. The kind, warm and gentle, you, who wanted to be happier than anybody, for my own happiness would sacrifice everything, that reality suffocated me and made me uncomfortable. So I wanted to get out of there.

Now that I thought about it, it wasn't . Nor was it an . That day just happened to be the one. I was ready to run anyway. I had been holding out well and it just continued to build over time, so I was prepared to run away anytime. From your smothering love.

But…… But.

I know that if I think of you I would end up coming back to that house. Because when I think of that slender back bent with age and the rough hands, which I know well. So I tried hard not to think about it. I just wanted to erase those from my memory and free myself from the guilt…….

Therefore I decided to follow that guy. He was a peculiar fellow. While I was with him, I could forget the thoughts regarding you for some time. I was able to free myself from the guilt. Because whenever I'm with that guy, I feel free from everything that stifles me…… so…… so I.

I leaned on him. I became intoxicated with that feeling.

……For the time being, at least that's what I believed. Or so I thought.

"Happy?!"

"……."

As soon as I opened the front door, I heard his urgent voice. Soon after he emerged out of the living room and then noticed me. You're up now, I thought so absently, suddenly from behind came the grumbling voice of Dae Hyung.

"That's why I kept telling you that he was out with nuna."

But as if Jun Hyung didn't care, he rushed towards me and pulled me into a hug.

"Happy…!"

"……."

I felt my heart drowning in torment even more than it has before.

Now it's not for the sake of running away. It's for this guy. For his sake, I should forget. He who calls me Happy, he who believes I am Happy, thinking of how painful it would be for him if I disappear…… and the uncertainty he would feel when he realizes that I am not Happy and he lives in this reality…… So I had to forget.

After all, I'm but a foolish son who sees nothing other than himself.

However, mother. I'll return to that house. It will only to take a while longer, I'll definitely return. So please understand. Wait just for some time, please. I may be a foolish son who is really selfish, but I'll surely return…… certainly come back……

But as of now.
For a little longer.

Just a little longer so that I can be by his side as Happy.

"Happy~"

After the enormous storm of feelings pa.s.sed, the peaceful daily life began anew. Standing still, I looked at Min Hyung who was playing cute tricks in front of me. Min Hyung, who was maturing from a child, looking at this side of him, my heart feels warm yet sad. Because of Jun Hyung, Dae Hyung was affected. It wouldn't be just because of the pain his mother felt when she was pregnant. And after getting hurt by his hyung's indifference, that wound didn't heal. Despite being young, Dae Hyung still hid it inside him.

'Enough, go back. I won't hang out with a lame guy like you anymore.'

This is what Dae Hyung said to his friend who came looking for him a few days ago. That friend seemed to have committed a mistake to Dae Hyung and repeatedly apologized, but Dae Hyung only repeated with an icy voice to go back. And as if nothing had happened he closed the door normally. No loud banging sound or any other sound for that matter.

That young middle schooler who came to meet Dae Hyung, his eyes were full of longing and envy. Perhaps his school life was no different from that of Jun Hyung's, as I heard from others.

"Happy~! What are you doing!!"

Thanks to Min Hyung waving his hand in front of me, I came back to my senses. He climbed up to my knees and looked at me with wide eyes. I awkwardly smiled and bent down to hug Min Hyung. He soon laughed and hugged me back tightly.

"It's okay. Even if you don't want to play with me, you can do whatever you want."

When I raised my body and walked to the living room, I heard Jun Hyung talking on the phone. Maybe because Christmas was just around the corner, this place was a bit messy, and the phone rang a lot of times.

"Well, I'm not going. I won't play with you guys."

"……."

No matter how many times I think about it, I'm amazed that this fellow still has so many friends.

"Yeah, because I have. Bring him? I don't want to. It's not that…… Why? You saw him that day too. Happy."

"…?"

Wanting to know why my name was called, I turned my face towards him. It seemed like it was a call from one of his friends who were present on that day when he picked me up.

"Why do you keep calling to invite me and Happy to play with you. Don't want to. I'm hanging up."

Click.
Jun Hyung apparently annoyed, spat out those words and hung up on that person. As I continued to look weirdly at him, he soon turned to face me.

"… You still won't leave?"

And fiercely glared at Min Hyung, who was still holding onto me.

"I didn't ask him to hold me. Happy gave me a hug."

"You go play with Patrasche."

"Humph……."

Feeling wronged, Min Hyung looked at Jun Hyung but removed his hands from around me. It seemed he made a clever decision since Seon Hyung-nuna wasn't here to stand by his side. Min Hyung still murmured, unable to understand whether he won or not but went to the room where Patrasche sleeps.

"Happy, come with me to play outside tomorrow."

When Jun Hyung confirmed that Min Hyung had left, he instantly returned to his smiling expression and told me.

“…….”

But tomorrow, it would be Christmas Eve.
Does he want to spend even the Christmas Eve together…
I thought it was a little too much for a dog's position, but since Happy is special to this guy, I nodded awkwardly.

Looks like the romance of snow falling on Christmas day won't happen.

When we stepped outside, the sky was too clear. There wasn't any sign of snow fall. This morning's forecast said that the temperature barely exceeded zero, so it was hard to expect White Christmas. Therefore it wasn't the snow that greeted us outside, but the chilly wind instead.

"……."

Well, I wasn't the one to care about such things.

Because we were the last to go out, Jun Hyung turned to lock the door. Precocious Dae Hyung who had an appointment with his girlfriend left home early in the morning and soon after, Seon Hyung-nuna also left, saying that she had an appointment with club members. After that when his parents and Min Hyung were getting ready to leave, they asked Jun Hyung, 'What about you?' he replied 'I will go play with Happy in the evening', and saying that they understood, they took Min Hyung and went out.

Come to think of it, there wasn't a lot of chance to go out after I came to this house, and it's been a while since I went out with Jun Hyung. Except for that one day when he said to take a walk, the two of us haven't been outside even once.

"So, let's go. Happy."

Thus saying so, Jun Hyung held out his hand towards me, that gesture felt somewhat new and very awkward. I looked at him quietly, not knowing what he meant to do by holding my hand. Then he thoughtlessly grabbed my loose hand and put it inside his coat pocket.

"It's cold."

"……."

… It for sure was warm. …… Only one hand though.
I awkwardly followed after him who had grabbed me. Probably due to the excessively frigid and cold air, the world somehow seemed white and transparent. Although it didn't snow, this also wasn't bad. The warmth in my hand in his pocket also felt good.

"Are we going somewhere special…?"

When I asked, Jun Hyung who was walking ahead, turned around and looked at me. And answered with a slightly embarra.s.sed look on his face.

"Hm? Ahhh. Christmas tree in a fancy place."

"Eh…?"

"Anyway, let's go."

"……."

While speaking he looked so excited that I was rendered speechless.
… Maybe, I was a little embarra.s.sed too.

Jun Hyung took me to the subway station, booked a ticket and then we took the subway to Seoul. Maybe because it was Christmas Eve, it was quite crowded in the subway. And since all of the seats were occupied, I and Jun Hyung went to stand near the door that didn't open in the stops.

"….…"

I peeked sideways and looked at Jun Hyung, he was leaning his back on the side pole and was looking outside the window. It felt a little strange thinking that the current situation was no different from how lovers spend their Eve. A little excited and uneasy at the same time, I felt a strange feeling. As if he felt my eyes on him, Jun Hyung turned around to look at me and when our eyes met, he grinned.

"……."

… Because of this, my pulse quickened a bit.

I hastily turned away to stare at the window in front of me. Outside, various flashy sign boards pa.s.sed by. In the evenings I usually feel emotional. And looking at the bright lights reminded me of the night I first met him.

'His name is Happy.'

Saying these words as if it was nothing, who would have imagined that it held such weight when he approached me. Back then, I just thought he said any name he first thought of.

"Happy, we've arrived. Let's get off."

While being lost in thought, it appears as if we had arrived at our destination. He immediately straightened himself and called me.

The nearby people who heard the name Happy looked in our directions with a slightly puzzled expression, though Jun Hyung wasn't the type to pay attention to such things. But since I had yet to accept such gazes as if they were nothing, I ducked my head and followed him.

As soon as we stepped out of the warm subway, frigid and cold wind attacked us in the station. Maybe it was really too cold because I couldn't help but shiver.

"Are you cold?"

Jun Hyung asked. I nodded as I walked alongside him.

"……."

Then Jun Hyung grabbed my hand and put it inside his pocket just as he had when we left home. Though I was expressionless outside but inwardly I was startled to the core. There were so many people around us now….… With such thoughts I looked at Jun Hyung, however, he only had a blank expression.

Will it be okay?

Thinking like that I looked around. Though there were a lot of people, they seemed to be busy in their own world. Maybe because it was the evening of Christmas Eve that everyone looked excited, and were all smiles while walking busily.

"……."

Fine. It would be okay to do this. Sometimes.

When we eventually came out to the streets, some of the people walking on the other side noticed us holding hands, but they only gave us a strange look and didn't whisper amongst themselves. They probably thought that we were just brothers who had a very good relationship. I decided to firmly believe so.

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