Piccadilly Part 18

"No, I leave that to you," I said, maliciously.

"My dear Ursula, I would not tell you, because I know you do not approve of speculations, and I feel myself that they are questionable, if not actually sinful. My dear child, I did it for the best; Chundango wanted me to join him in one of his Indian speculations, and proposed to me to"--Lady Broadhem paused, coloured, looked me full in the face, and then said slowly--"to unite my resources to his. Fortunately, Lord Frank has just discovered in time that he is a bankrupt, so of course all partnership arrangements between us are at an end, and I am most thankful for the lesson. You know I promised you once before that I would give up trying to retrieve my own fortunes by commercial speculation, even of the most legitimate description; and now, my dear Frank, and you, my sweet child, forgive me for having even thought of yielding to this temptation. You must have seen how much it has weighed upon me, Ursula dear, for some time past; but let us be thankful that I have been saved from it," and the handkerchief was again called into requisition.

Well done, Lady Broadhem! that was a triumph of white-lying, and the best piece of acting you have done in my presence; it so touched Lady Ursula that she threw herself on her mother's neck.

"Never mind, mamma; I know that whatever you do is out of love for us; but indeed we don't want to be rich. Broadhem has no expensive tastes, and I would only be too glad to get away from London. Let us let the house, and take a little cottage somewhere in the country,--we shall be so much happier;" and Lady Ursula nestled herself on her mother's cheek, little dreaming that she had nearly had Chundango for a father-in-law, and evidently much relieved at finding that this dreadful intelligence, for which I was preparing her, was not some horrid crime, but only another money affair. As I looked at the mother and daughter, clasped in each other's arms, and pictured to myself the thoughts that were hidden in those hearts now palpitating against each other, I felt that it would almost be a righteous act to tear them asunder for ever.

Never mind, you have given me a hold over you that I shall turn to account; that lie was dexterously worded, and evidenced infinite presence of mind; but you will have first to throw over Chundango, and then to shut his mouth, and then you will have to shut mine, and finally to shut Drippings his mouth. Oh, my dear Lady Broadhem, what a very slimy and disagreeable course you have marked out for yourself!

"Mr Chundango is in the drawing-room, my lady," said Drippings, appearing at the door at this critical juncture; and he took a survey of the group as one who should say within himself, "Here is some new start which I am not yet up to, but which I soon shall be," and he waited at the door to observe the effect of his intelligence.

"I shall be down immediately," said Lady Broadhem, coldly; and Drippings vanished. "Perhaps, under the circ.u.mstances, you had better leave Mr Chundango to my tender mercies," I said, significantly. "There can be no reason why you should _ever_ see him again." I emphasised the word "ever" purposely, and a.s.sumed a tone of authority under which Lady Broadhem winced. Our eyes met for a moment, and then I looked at her nose, and I am sure she read my thought, which was "I must keep it on the grindstone," for she sighed and acquiesced.

"How do, my dear Mr Chundango?" said I, gaily, to the Oriental, who seemed rather taken aback when he saw me enter the drawing-room instead of Lady Broadhem, and whose lips got paler than was altogether consistent with their usual colour. "I must congratulate you on the prospect of becoming a legislator. I hear Lord Scilly is going to put you in for his boroughs."

"Yes," said Chundango, affectedly. "His lordship has been good enough to press them upon me, but I have determined not to go in as any man's nominee. The fact is, I wanted to ask Lady Broadhem's advice upon that very matter, and have come here expressly to do so."

"She is not very well, and has deputed me to consult with you instead.

Come," I said, confidentially. "What is it all about? I shall be too glad to a.s.sist you."

The puzzled expression of Chundango's face at this moment was a study: "Has Lady Broadhem told him everything or not?--How much does he know?--What line shall I take?" and he stroked his chin doubtfully.

"Come, out with it," I said, sharply; "I haven't time to stand here all day waiting till you decide how much you will tell me and how much you won't." Now this is the kind of speech which disturbs a native more than any other, but which would be inexcusable in polite society. I had lived too much in the East to be trammelled with the conventionalities of Europe, and my friend felt as much, for he cringed at once after the manner of his race.

"I have no intention of deceiving you," he said. "I don't know whether Lady Broadhem has told you that we are to be united in matrimony?"

"Yes," I said, "she has."

"Well, I want to make arrangements by which the ceremony may be accomplished without delay, for I feel the suspense is trying. Might I ask you to find out the earliest moment which would suit her convenience? I need not say that I hope you will be present."

"I suppose you would prefer it, if possible, before the arrival of the next mail from Bombay?" I said.

Chundango, who is by no means deficient in intelligence, saw at a glance that it was useless to attempt to deceive me. "I see that you know," he said, meekly, "the terrible misfortune by which I have been overtaken, through no fault of my own. I am quite sure it will not affect Lady Broadhem's resolution."

"I am quite sure it will," I said; "and the fact is, as she did not want a scene, she sent me down to give you to understand that everything is at an end between you. You look surprised," I went on, for Chundango was not yet so familiar with the customs of polite society, as to believe such heartless conduct on the part of Lady Broadhem possible; "but I a.s.sure you this is the usual form among ladies in London. I am well aware no Hindoo woman would have done it; but you must remember, Mr Chundango, that you are in a Christian and a civilised country, where money is essential to make the pot boil--not in a tropical heathen land where a pocket-handkerchief is sufficient for clothing, and a few plantains for sustenance. We don't keep our hearts in a state of nature in this country a bit more than our bodies--it would not be considered proper; you'll soon get over it"--but Chundango's eyes were gleaming with revenge.

"Ah!" he said, drawing his breath with a sibilant sound, "everybody in London shall hear how I have got over it."

"n.o.body would believe you, and you would only be laughed at. Lady Broadhem would flatly deny it. We always do deny those little episodes.

My good innocent Chundango, how much you have to learn, and how simple and guileless they are in your native country to what we are here! No, no! come with me; I will do the best for everybody, and send you back to your mother dutiful and repentant--you had no business ever to desert her;" and I rang the bell.

"Tell Lady Broadhem," I said to Drippings, "that I have gone with Mr Chundango into the City, and will call again to-morrow." I took Chundango straight to Bodwinkle's, and found the millionaire in close confabulation with Spiffy Goldtip. Between them was the address to the electors of Shuffleborough, with which my readers are already familiar.

"We must alter it slightly," said Spiffy as I entered.

"What! haven't you issued it yet?" I asked.

"No," he said; "we were just going to send it out to-day."

"Then I am in time to stop you. Your address, Spiffy, so outraged Stepton, that he has determined to stand himself, and neither you nor Bodwinkle have a chance; so I would advise you to keep that doc.u.ment back," I said, turning to Bodwinkle, who looked dumbfounded and crestfallen.

"A nice mess you have got me into between you," he said, sulkily gazing at us both.

"Spiffy has, but my turn has yet to come. Bodwinkle, I think you know more of Mr Chundango's affairs than any one else; in fact, I suppose you have what the tradesmen call 'a little account' between you. He wishes to say a few words confidentially to you, while I want to have a moment alone with Spiffy."

"You know all about him?" I said, nodding towards Chundango.

"Collapsed, hasn't he?" said Spiffy.

"Yes," I said, "but it won't be known for a day or two. At present he is Lord Scilly's nominee. Bodwinkle wants a borough. He may either ignore his last programme, as it is not yet issued, and adopt Scilly's political views, or, if he is too conscientious, when Chundango retires at the last moment, he may s.n.a.t.c.h the seat. All that is your affair--you know Scilly and Bodwinkle both better than I do. Now I have reasons for wanting Chundango shipped back at once to Bombay, and for wishing to close this long-standing affair of Lady Broadhem's with Bodwinkle. Make the best terms you can for Chundango, and see what Bodwinkle is disposed to do in the other matter; and let me know the result to-morrow. Keep Chundango here now to refer to. Good-bye, Bodwinkle," I called out; "Spiffy has got some good news to give you, but be merciful to our friend here," and I pa.s.sed my arm through Chundango's and drew him to a corner. "Now, look here," I said, in a whisper, "if you will bury the recollection of what has pa.s.sed between you and Lady Broadhem, and never breathe a word of it even in your dreams, I will get Bodwinkle to start you again in Bombay, but you must go back at once and stay there. Now you may stay here, for you will be wanted." I saw Spiffy meantime imparting to Bodwinkle his projects for turning to account the new prospects I had been the means of opening out to him.

"Dear me," I thought, as I for the second time that day threaded my way westwards from the City, "all this is unravelling itself very neatly, considering how much dirt is mixed up in it, but it is not quite far enough advanced to be communicated to Grandon." The fact is, I had a sort of suspicion that he would not altogether approve of my mode of carrying my point, even when my only desire was to secure his and Ursula's happiness. No, I thought; he would have scruples, and object, and bother. I won't tell him anything till it is all done; but I must tell him something, as I promised him some good news to-day, and he is waiting at home on purpose.

"Well, old fellow, I think I have got a borough for you, after all. It stupidly did not occur to me before, but you are just the man for the const.i.tuency."

"I thought you had been to Lady Broadhem's, and were to bring me back some good news," said Grandon, with a disappointed air.

"So I have," I replied, "but I am bound to secrecy for another twenty-four hours; meantime, listen! I am going to retire from Dunderhead. I wrote my address a few days ago, but did not send it. They are therefore quite unprepared. I will retire to-morrow; the nomination is to be in two or three days; and what with the suddenness of the affair and my influence, your return is certain."

"You going to retire!" said Grandon, astounded. "Why, you never told me of this. When did you make up your mind?"

"It made itself up, as it always does," I said, laughing. "It never puts me in the painful position of having to decide, but takes its own line at once. I am going to America by the next steamer." Now, when I tell my readers that when I began to talk to Grandon I had no intention whatever of going to America, they will be able to form some idea, if they have not done so already, of what a funny mind mine is. It came upon me with the irresistible force of an inspiration, and from that moment I was morally booked and bound at all hazards to go.

Grandon knew me so well that he was less surprised than he might have been, and only sighed deeply. He felt at that moment that there was something hopelessly wrong about me. He had been so often encouraged by a certain steadiness which I maintained for some time, and which led him to think me changed, and so often disappointed; for when he least expected it I broke the slender fetters of common-sense and conventionalism, which he and society between them had woven round me, and went off at a tangent.

"Never mind, old fellow," I said, laughing, "there is no use sighing over me. I have pleasures and satisfactions arising from within that I should not have if I was like everybody else. Now, for instance:"--and the eagerness and turmoil which my new project excited within me seemed to reduce every other consideration to insignificance, for I began to feel conscious that, somehow or other, though I had often been in America before, this time it was to be to me a newer world than ever.

"Are you going alone?" said Grandon; for I had not finished my sentence.

"No," I said; and I guessed who my companion was to be, though no words had been exchanged between us.

"Who IS going with you?" he asked, wonderingly, for my manner struck him, and I scarcely heard his question, so wrapt at that instance seemed all my faculties. I think I fell asleep and dreamt, but I can't recall exactly what I seemed to see. Grandon was shaking me, I thought, in the most heartless manner, and I told him as much when I opened my eyes. The fact was, I was a little knocked up with excitement; but I would not go and lie down till he promised me to stand for Dunderhead. Then I went to bed, and did not get up till the lamps were being lighted in Piccadilly.

The result of such irregular hours was that I was in bed next morning when Spiffy Goldtip knocked at my bedroom-door. He had worked very hard in Lady Broadhem's interest, and explained to me the scheme which he had arranged with Bodwinkle, by means of which, at a very considerable sacrifice of my own capital, I could start Lady Broadhem and her son afresh in the world, on a very limited income, but devoid of enc.u.mbrances of a threatening or embarra.s.sing nature. I would far rather have invested the same amount in securing a larger income to Grandon and Ursula, if they were ever destined to be united; but I knew that, in the first place, nothing would induce them to take it from me; and in the second, that I could only even now hope to extort Lady Broadhem's consent to the match by the prospect I was enabled to hold out to her of a period of financial repose. After all, my own wants were moderate, and 15,000 a-year satisfied them as well as 20,000.

"We accomplished great things yesterday," said Spiffy, rubbing his hands gleefully, for he had himself benefited by the settlement above alluded to. "When I showed Bodwinkle that we could make the Scilly boroughs a certainty, he behaved like a gentleman, and our friend Chundango is to go out to Bombay by the next mail, under more favourable conditions than he could have possibly expected. Of course I shall retire from contesting Shuffleborough to the more congenial atmosphere of Homburg.

Heigho!" sighed Spiffy, "I have gone through a good deal of wear and tear this season, and want to recruit."

I got rid of Spiffy as soon as I had heard what he had to say, and I was so satisfied with his intelligence that I determined at once to see Grandon, and to take him with me to Lady Broadhem's. "Grandon," I said, abruptly entering his room, "I want you to come with me at once to Grosvenor Square."

"Did Lady Broadhem tell you to ask me?" He looked up with such a sad, wistful gaze as he said this, that my heart melted towards him, for I felt I had spoken roughly; so I drew a chair close to him, and, sitting by his side, placed my arm in his as we did in the old school-days.

"My dear old fellow, the moment is come for you to prove your friendship by trusting me thoroughly. I know how rudely Lady Broadhem has always behaved to you whenever you have met--I know how my conduct has perplexed and grieved you. Well, now, I have come to ask you to forgive us both."

"I have nothing to forgive; but it would be an utter want of taste in me to go there unless she expects me, and wishes to see me, and I can hardly hope that," he said, with a forced smile.

For a moment I doubted whether I dared to risk it, but I had placed Lady Broadhem in a position upon which I could venture a good deal, and I longed for the triumph and gratification of enjoying the success of my own handiwork. It would be a triumph full of alloy, but I wanted to see how much I could achieve and--bear; so my hesitation vanished.

"I will take the responsibility on myself," I said; "and believe me, I would not urge it if I was not perfectly certain that I was doing what is right. Remember how many times I have blindly followed your advice. I only ask you this once to follow mine, and secure your own happiness."