Phantastes, a Faerie Romance for Men and Women Part 14

Yet come. It will come. I will bear it. I can.

For thou lovest me yet--though but as a man."

The knight dismounted in earnest speed; Away through the tombstones thundered the steed,

And fell by the outer wall, and died.

But the knight he kneeled by the lady's side;

Kneeled beside her in wondrous bliss, Rapt in an everlasting kiss:

Though never his lips come the lady nigh, And his eyes alone on her beauty lie.

All the night long, till the c.o.c.k crew loud, He kneeled by the lady, lapt in her shroud.

And what they said, I may not say: Dead night was sweeter than living day.

How she made him so blissful glad Who made her and found her so ghostly sad,

I may not tell; but it needs no touch To make them blessed who love so much.

"Come every night, my ghost, to me; And one night I will come to thee.

'Tis good to have a ghostly wife: She will not tremble at clang of strife;

She will only hearken, amid the din, Behind the door, if he cometh in."

And this is how Sir Aglovaile Often walked in the moonlight pale.

And oft when the crescent but thinned the gloom, Full orbed moonlight filled his room;

And through beneath his chamber door, Fell a ghostly gleam on the outer floor;

And they that pa.s.sed, in fear averred That murmured words they often heard.

'Twas then that the eastern crescent shone Through the chancel window, and good St. John

Played with the ghost-child all the night, And the mother was free till the morning light,

And sped through the dawning night, to stay With Aglovaile till the break of day.

And their love was a rapture, lone and high, And dumb as the moon in the topmost sky.

One night Sir Aglovaile, weary, slept And dreamed a dream wherein he wept.

A warrior he was, not often wept he, But this night he wept full bitterly.

He woke--beside him the ghost-girl shone Out of the dark: 'twas the eve of St. John.

He had dreamed a dream of a still, dark wood, Where the maiden of old beside him stood;

But a mist came down, and caught her away, And he sought her in vain through the pathless day,

Till he wept with the grief that can do no more, And thought he had dreamt the dream before.

From bursting heart the weeping flowed on; And lo! beside him the ghost-girl shone;

Shone like the light on a harbour's breast, Over the sea of his dream's unrest;

Shone like the wondrous, nameless boon, That the heart seeks ever, night or noon:

Warnings forgotten, when needed most, He clasped to his bosom the radiant ghost.

She wailed aloud, and faded, and sank.

With upturn'd white face, cold and blank,

In his arms lay the corpse of the maiden pale, And she came no more to Sir Aglovaile.

Only a voice, when winds were wild, Sobbed and wailed like a chidden child.

Alas, how easily things go wrong!

A sigh too much, or a kiss too long, And there follows a mist and a weeping rain, And life is never the same again.

This was one of the simplest of her songs, which, perhaps, is the cause of my being able to remember it better than most of the others. While she sung, I was in Elysium, with the sense of a rich soul upholding, embracing, and overhanging mine, full of all plenty and bounty. I felt as if she could give me everything I wanted; as if I should never wish to leave her, but would be content to be sung to and fed by her, day after day, as years rolled by. At last I fell asleep while she sang.

When I awoke, I knew not whether it was night or day. The fire had sunk to a few red embers, which just gave light enough to show me the woman standing a few feet from me, with her back towards me, facing the door by which I had entered. She was weeping, but very gently and plentifully. The tears seemed to come freely from her heart. Thus she stood for a few minutes; then, slowly turning at right angles to her former position, she faced another of the four sides of the cottage.

I now observed, for the first time, that here was a door likewise; and that, indeed, there was one in the centre of every side of the cottage.

When she looked towards the second door, her tears ceased to flow, but sighs took their place. She often closed her eyes as she stood; and every time she closed her eyes, a gentle sigh seemed to be born in her heart, and to escape at her lips. But when her eyes were open, her sighs were deep and very sad, and shook her whole frame. Then she turned towards the third door, and a cry as of fear or suppressed pain broke from her; but she seemed to hearten herself against the dismay, and to front it steadily; for, although I often heard a slight cry, and sometimes a moan, yet she never moved or bent her head, and I felt sure that her eyes never closed. Then she turned to the fourth door, and I saw her shudder, and then stand still as a statue; till at last she turned towards me and approached the fire. I saw that her face was white as death. But she gave one look upwards, and smiled the sweetest, most child-innocent smile; then heaped fresh wood on the fire, and, sitting down by the blaze, drew her wheel near her, and began to spin. While she spun, she murmured a low strange song, to which the hum of the wheel made a kind of infinite symphony. At length she paused in her spinning and singing, and glanced towards me, like a mother who looks whether or not her child gives signs of waking. She smiled when she saw that my eyes were open. I asked her whether it was day yet. She answered, "It is always day here, so long as I keep my fire burning."

I felt wonderfully refreshed; and a great desire to see more of the island awoke within me. I rose, and saying that I wished to look about me, went towards the door by which I had entered.

"Stay a moment," said my hostess, with some trepidation in her voice.

"Listen to me. You will not see what you expect when you go out of that door. Only remember this: whenever you wish to come back to me, enter wherever you see this mark."

She held up her left hand between me and the fire. Upon the palm, which appeared almost transparent, I saw, in dark red, a mark like this --> which I took care to fix in my mind.

She then kissed me, and bade me good-bye with a solemnity that awed me; and bewildered me too, seeing I was only going out for a little ramble in an island, which I did not believe larger than could easily be compa.s.sed in a few hours' walk at most. As I went she resumed her spinning.

I opened the door, and stepped out. The moment my foot touched the smooth sward, I seemed to issue from the door of an old barn on my father's estate, where, in the hot afternoons, I used to go and lie amongst the straw, and read. It seemed to me now that I had been asleep there. At a little distance in the field, I saw two of my brothers at play. The moment they caught sight of me, they called out to me to come and join them, which I did; and we played together as we had done years ago, till the red sun went down in the west, and the gray fog began to rise from the river. Then we went home together with a strange happiness. As we went, we heard the continually renewed larum of a landrail in the long gra.s.s. One of my brothers and I separated to a little distance, and each commenced running towards the part whence the sound appeared to come, in the hope of approaching the spot where the bird was, and so getting at least a sight of it, if we should not be able to capture the little creature. My father's voice recalled us from trampling down the rich long gra.s.s, soon to be cut down and laid aside for the winter. I had quite forgotten all about Fairy Land, and the wonderful old woman, and the curious red mark.

My favourite brother and I shared the same bed. Some childish dispute arose between us; and our last words, ere we fell asleep, were not of kindness, notwithstanding the pleasures of the day. When I woke in the morning, I missed him. He had risen early, and had gone to bathe in the river. In another hour, he was brought home drowned. Alas! alas! if we had only gone to sleep as usual, the one with his arm about the other!

Amidst the horror of the moment, a strange conviction flashed across my mind, that I had gone through the very same once before.

I rushed out of the house, I knew not why, sobbing and crying bitterly.

I ran through the fields in aimless distress, till, pa.s.sing the old barn, I caught sight of a red mark on the door. The merest trifles sometimes rivet the attention in the deepest misery; the intellect has so little to do with grief. I went up to look at this mark, which I did not remember ever to have seen before. As I looked at it, I thought I would go in and lie down amongst the straw, for I was very weary with running about and weeping. I opened the door; and there in the cottage sat the old woman as I had left her, at her spinning-wheel.

"I did not expect you quite so soon," she said, as I shut the door behind me. I went up to the couch, and threw myself on it with that fatigue wherewith one awakes from a feverish dream of hopeless grief.

The old woman sang: