Peter Simple; and, The Three Cutters Part 47

"I should think it was," replied I, laughing.

"But don't be letting me prevent you from keeping a look-out, Mr Simple.--You, Hoskins, you're half a point off the wind. Luff you may.-- I think, Mr Simple, that Captain O'Brien didn't pick out the best man, when he made Tom Alsop a quarter-master in my place."

"Why, he is a very steady, good man, Swinburne."

"Yes, so he is; but he has natural defects, which shouldn't be overlooked. I doubt if he can see so far as the head of the mainsail."

"I was not aware of that."

"No, but I was. Alsop wants to sarve out his time for his pension, and when he has sarved, you see if, when the surgeons examine him, they don't invalid him, as blind as a bat. I should like to have him as gunner's mate, and that's just what he's fit for. But, Mr Simple, I think we shall have some bad weather. The moon looks greasy, and the stars want snuffing. You'll have two reefs in the topsails afore morning. There's five bells striking. Now I'll turn in; if I didn't keep half the first, and half the morning watch, I shouldn't sleep all the night. I miss my regular watch very much, Mr Simple--habit's everything --and I don't much fancy a standing bed-place, it's so large, and I feel so cold of my sides. Nothing like a hammock, after all. Good-night, Mr Simple."

Our orders were to proceed with all _possible_ despatch; and O'Brien carried on day and night, generally remaining up himself till one or two o'clock in the morning. We had very favourable weather, and in a little more than a month we pa.s.sed the Lizard. The wind being fair, we pa.s.sed Plymouth, ran up Channel, and anch.o.r.ed at Spithead.

After calling upon the admiral, O'Brien set off for town with his despatches, and left me in command of the ship. In three days I received a letter from him, informing me that he had seen the First Lord, who had asked him a great many questions concerning the station he had quitted; that he had also complimented O'Brien on his services. "On that hint I spake," continued O'Brien; "I ventured to insinuate to his lordship, that I had hoped I had earned my promotion; and as there is nothing like _quartering on the enemy_, I observed that I had not applied to Lord Privilege, as I considered my services would have been sufficient, without any application on his part. His lordship returned a very gracious answer: said that my Lord Privilege was a great ally of his, and very friendly to the government; and inquired when I was going to see him. I replied, that I certainly should not pay my respects to his lordship at present, unless there was occasion for it, as I must take a more favourable opportunity. So I hope that good may come from the great lord's error, which, of course, I shall not correct, as I feel I deserve my promotion--and you know, Peter, if you can't gain it by _hook_, you must by _crook_." He then concluded his letter; but there was a postscript as follows:

"Wish me joy, my dear Peter. I have this moment received a letter from the private secretary, to say that I am _posted_, and appointed to the _Semiramis_ frigate, about to set sail for the East Indies. She is all ready to start; and now I must try to get you with me, of which I have no doubt; as, although her officers have been long appointed there will be little difficulty of success, when I mention your relationship to Lord Privilege, and while they remain in error as to his taking an interest in my behalf." I rejoiced at O'Brien's good fortune. His promotion I had considered certain, as his services had ent.i.tled him to it; but the command of so fine a frigate must have been given upon the supposition that it would be agreeable to my uncle, who was not only a prime supporter, but a very useful member, of the Tory Government. I could not help laughing to myself, at the idea of O'Brien obtaining his wishes from the influence of a person who probably detested him as much as one man could detest another; and I impatiently waited for O'Brien's next letter, by which I hoped to find myself appointed to the _Semiramis_; but a sad _contretemps_ took place.

O'Brien did not write; but came down two days afterwards, hastened on board the _Semiramis_, read his commission, and a.s.sumed the command before even he had seen me; he then sent his gig on board of the _Rattlesnake_ to desire me to come to him directly. I did so, and we went down into the cabin of the frigate. "Peter," said he, "I was obliged to hasten down and read myself captain of this ship, as I am in fear that things are not going on well. I had called to pay my respects at the Admiralty, previous to joining, and was kicking my heels in the waiting-room, when who should walk up the pa.s.sage, as if he were a captain on his own quarter-deck, but your uncle, Lord Privilege. His eye met mine--he recognised me immediately--and, if it did not flash fire, it did something very like it. He asked a few questions of one of the porters, and was giving his card, when my name was called for. I pa.s.sed him, and up I went to the First Lord, thanked him for the frigate; and having received a great many compliments upon my exertions in the West India station, made my bow and retired. I had intended to have requested your appointment, but I knew that your name would bring up Lord Privilege's; and, moreover, your uncle's card was brought up and laid upon the table while I was sitting there. The First Lord, I presume, thought that his lordship was come to thank him for his kindness to me, which only made him more civil. I made my bow and went down, when I met the eye of Lord Privilege; who looked daggers at me as he walked up stairs--for, of course, he was admitted immediately after my audience was finished. Instead of waiting to hear the result of the explanation, I took a post-chaise, and have come down here as fast as four horses can bring me, and have read myself in--for, Peter, I feel sure, that if not on board, my commission will be cancelled; and I know that if once in command, as I am now, I can call for a court-martial, to clear my character if I am superseded. I know that the Admiralty _can_ do anything, but still they will be cautious in departing from the rules of the service, to please even Lord Privilege. I looked up at the sky as soon as I left the Admiralty portico, and was glad to see that the weather was so thick, and the telegraph not at work, or I might have been too late. Now I'll go on sh.o.r.e, and report myself to the admiral, as having taken the command of the _Semiramis_."

O'Brien went on sh.o.r.e to report himself, was well received by the admiral, who informed him, that if he had any arrangements to make, he could not be too soon, as he should not be surprised if his sailing orders came down the next morning. This was very annoying, as I could not see how I should be able to join O'Brien's ship, even if I could effect an exchange, in so short a time. I therefore hastened on board of the _Semiramis_, and applied to the officers to know if any of them were willing to exchange into the _Rattlesnake_; but, although they did not much like going to the East Indies, they would not exchange into a brig, and I returned disappointed. The next morning, the admiral sent for O'Brien, and told him confidentially, for he was the same admiral who had received O'Brien when he had escaped from prison with me, and was very kind to him, that there was some _hitch_ about his having the _Semiramis_, and that orders had come down to pay her off, all standing, and examine her bottom, if Captain O'Brien had not joined her. "Do you understand what this means?" said the admiral, who was anxious to know the reason.

O'Brien answered frankly, that Lord Privilege, by whose interest he had obtained his former command, was displeased with him; and that, as he saw him go up to the First Lord, he had no doubt but that his lordship had said something to his disadvantage, as he was a very vindictive man.

"Well," said the admiral, "it's lucky that you have taken the command, as they cannot well displace you, or send her into dock without a survey, and upon your representation."

And so it proved; the First Lord, when he found that O'Brien had joined, took no further steps, but allowed the frigate to proceed to her intended destination. But all chance of my sailing with him was done away, and now, for the first time, I had to part with O'Brien. I remained with him the whole time that I could be spared from my duties.

O'Brien was very much annoyed, but there was no help. "Never mind, Peter," said he, "I've been thinking that perhaps it's all for the best.

You will see more of the world, and be no longer in leading-strings. You are now a fine man grown up, big enough and ugly enough, as they say, to take care of yourself. We shall meet again; and if we don't, why then, G.o.d bless you, my boy, and don't forget O'Brien."

Three days afterwards, O'Brien's orders came down. I accompanied him on board; and it was not until the ship was under weigh, and running towards the Needles with a fair wind, that I shook hands with him, and shoved off. Parting with O'Brien was a heavy blow to me; but I little knew how much I was to suffer before I saw him again.

Chapter LIII

I am pleased with my new captain--Obtain leave to go home--Find my father afflicted with a very strange disease, and prove myself a very good doctor, although the disorder always breaks out in a fresh place.

The day after O'Brien had sailed for the East Indies, the dockyard men came on board to survey the brig, and she was found so defective as to be ordered into dock. I had received letters from my sister, who was overjoyed at the intelligence of my safe return, and the antic.i.p.ation of seeing me. The accounts of my father were, however, very unsatisfactory.

My sister wrote, that disappointment and anxiety had had such an effect upon him, that he was deranged in his intellects. Our new captain came down to join us. He was a very young man, and had never before commanded a ship. His character as lieutenant was well known, and not very satisfactory, being that of a harsh, unpleasant officer; but, as he had never been first lieutenant, it was impossible to say what he might prove when in command of a ship. Still we were a little anxious about it, and severely regretted the loss of O'Brien. He came on board the hulk to which the ship's company's had been turned over, and read his commission. He proved to be all affability, condescension, and good-nature. To me, he was particularly polite, stating that he should not interfere with me in carrying on the duty, as I must be so well acquainted with the ship's company. We thought that those who gave us the information must have been prejudiced or mistaken in his character.

During the half hour that he remained on board, I stated, that now that the brig was in dock, I should like very much to have an opportunity of seeing my friends, if he would sanction my asking for leave. To this he cheerfully consented, adding, that he would extend it upon his own responsibility. My letter to the Admiralty was therefore forwarded through him, and was answered in the affirmative. The day afterwards, I set off by the coach, and once more embraced my dear sister.

After the first congratulations were over, I inquired about my father; she replied, that he was so wild that n.o.body could manage him. That he was melancholy and irritable at the same time, and was certainly deranged, fancying himself to be made of various substances, or to be in a certain trade or capacity. That he generally remained in this way four or five days, when he went to bed, and slept for twenty-four hours, or more, and awoke with some new strange imagination in his head. His language was violent, but that, in other respects, he seemed to be more afraid of other people, than inclined to be mischievous, and that every day he was getting more strange and ridiculous. He had now just risen from one of his long naps, and was in his study; that before he had fallen asleep he had fancied himself to be a carpenter, and had sawed and chopped up several articles of furniture in the house.

I quitted my sister to see my father, whom I found in his easy-chair. I was much shocked at his appearance. He was thin and haggard, his eye was wild, and he remained with his mouth constantly open. A sick-nurse, who had been hired by my sister, was standing by him.

"Pish, pish, pish, pish!" cried my father; "what can you, a stupid old woman, know about my inside? I tell you the gas is generating fast, and even now I can hardly keep on my chair. I'm lifting--lifting now; and if you don't tie me down with cords, I shall go up like a balloon."

"Indeed, sir," replied the woman, "it's only the wind in your stomach.

You'll break it off directly."

"It's inflammable gas, you old Hecate!--I know it is. Tell me, will you get a cord, or will you not? Hah! who's that--Peter? Why you've dropped from the clouds, just in time to see me mount up to them."

"I hope you feel yourself better, sir," said I.

"I feel myself a great deal lighter every minute. Get a cord, Peter, and tie me to the leg of the table."

I tried to persuade him that he was under a mistake; but it was useless.

He became excessively violent, and said I wished him in heaven. As I had heard that it was better to humour people afflicted with hypochondriacism, which was evidently the disease under which my father laboured, I tried that method. "It appears to me, sir," said I, "that if we could remove the gas every ten minutes, it would be a good plan."

"Yes--but how?" replied he, shaking his head mournfully.

"Why, with a syringe, sir," said I; "which will, if empty, of course draw out the gas, when inserted into your mouth."

"My dear Peter, you have saved my life: be quick, though, or I shall go up, right through the ceiling."

Fortunately, there was an instrument of that description in the house. I applied it to his mouth, drew up the piston, and then ejected the air, and re-applied it. In two minutes he p.r.o.nounced himself better, and I left the old nurse hard at work, and my father very considerably pacified. I returned to my sister, to whom I recounted what had pa.s.sed; but it was no source of mirth to us, although, had it happened to an indifferent person, I might have been amused. The idea of leaving her, as I must soon do--having only a fortnight's leave--to be worried by my father's unfortunate malady, was very distressing. But we entered into a long conversation, in which I recounted the adventures that had taken place since I had left her, and for the time forgot our source of annoyance and regret. For three days my father insisted upon the old woman pumping the gas out of his body; after that, he again fell into one of his sleeps, which lasted nearly thirty hours.

When he arose, I went again to see him. It was eight o'clock in the evening, and I entered with a candle. "Take it away--quick, take it away; put it out carefully."

"Why, what's the matter, sir?"

"Don't come near me, if you love me; don't come near me. Put it out, I say--put it out."

I obeyed his orders, and then asked him the reason. "Reason!" said he, now that we were in the dark; "can't you see?"

"No, father; I can see nothing in the dark."

"Well, then, Peter, I'm a magazine, full of gunpowder; the least spark in the world, and I am blown up. Consider the danger. You surely would not be the destruction of your father, Peter?" and the poor old gentleman burst into tears, and wept like a child.

I knew that it was in vain to reason with him. "My dear father," said I, "on board ship, when there is any danger of this kind, we always _float_ the magazine. Now, if you were to drink a good deal of water, the powder would be spoiled, and there would be no danger." My father was satisfied with my proposal, and drank a tumbler of water every half-hour, which the old nurse was obliged to supply as fast as he called for it; and this satisfied him for three or four days, and I was again left to the company of my dear Ellen, when my father again fell into his stupor, and we wondered what would be his next fancy. I was hastily summoned by the nurse, and found my poor father lying in bed, and breathing in a very strange manner. "What is the matter, my dear sir?" inquired I.

"Why don't you see what is the matter? How is a poor little infant, just born, to live, unless its mother is near to suckle it, and take care of it?"

"Indeed, sir, do you mean to say that you are just born?"

"To be sure I do. I'm dying for the breast."

This was almost too absurd; but I gravely observed, "That it was all very true, but unfortunately his mother had died in childbirth, and the only remedy was to bring him up by hand."

He agreed with me. I desired the nurse to make some gruel with brandy, and feed him; which she did, and he took the gruel just as if he were a baby. I was about to wish him goodnight, when he beckoned to me, and said, "Peter, she hasn't changed my napkin." This was too much, and I could not help laughing. I told the nurse what he said, and she replied, "Lord bless you, sir, what matter? if the old gentleman takes a fancy, why not indulge him? I'll fetch the kitchen table-cloth." This fit lasted about six days; for he went to sleep, because a baby always slept much: and I was in hopes it would last much longer: but he again went off into his lethargic fit, and, after a long sleep, awoke with a new fancy. My time had nearly expired, and I had written to my new captain, requesting an extension of leave, but I received an answer stating that it could not be granted, and requesting me to join the brig immediately.

I was rather surprised at this, but of course was compelled to obey; and, embracing my dear sister once more, set off for Portsmouth. I advised her to humour my father, and this advice she followed; but his fancies were such, occasionally, as would have puzzled the most inventive genius to combat, or to find the remedy which he might acknowledge to be requisite. His health became certainly worse and worse, and his const.i.tution was evidently destroyed by a slow, undermining, bodily and mental fever. The situation of my poor sister was very distressing; and I quitted her with melancholy forebodings.

I ought here to observe that I received all my prize-money, amounting to 1560, a large sum for a lieutenant. I put it into the funds, and gave a power of attorney to Ellen, requesting her to use it as her own. We consulted as to what she should do if my father should die, and agreed that all his debts, which we knew to amount to three or four hundred pounds, should be paid, and that she should manage how she could upon what was left of my father's property, and the interest of my prize-money.