Petals From The Sky Part 24

I finally got hold of myself and muttered, "Yes, Yi Kong Shifu."

A long pause.

"How did you get in here?" She had relit the candle in her hand; the flame, raging and flashing under her, threw her face out of proportion.

"You told me about the shortcut."

"Except for a few Shifus who work closely with me, no one else knows about this place." Yi Kong eyed me reflectively. "It must be your good karma to be here...."

Yi Kong led me in lighting incense and making three deep bows to the statue. Her voice, deep and respectful, began to resonate in the hall like an ancient chant. "This is the Golden Body of Revealing Mystery Shifu, the teacher of my teacher, the Venerable Wisdom Forest...."

Instinctively I took a step back, then turned to look at her. "Yi Kong Shifu, what do you mean by the Golden Body...how is it possible that-"

"Be patient, Meng Ning. Listen carefully to what I'm going to tell you."

Her voice filled the empty hall with voluptuous reverberation. "This phenomenon is called flesh-bodied Bodhisattva. That is, when a monk or a nun has achieved profound meditation practice, after they die, their bodies will not decompose-"

Feeling a chill, I again cut in: "Yi Kong Shifu, do you mean that this is actually the nun's...mummy?"

Yi Kong shot me a chiding look and ignored my question. "Only one in a million will attain the state of a golden body, and this phenomenon will happen only once every few hundred years."

She made another deep bow to the shrine; I immediately did the same. "Revealing Mystery Shifu pa.s.sed away on March eighteenth, nineteen fifty-eight, at age eighty-eight. In February, she'd recognized that her worldly life was about to end, so every day she drank ten bowls of a medicinal soup. This was made from one hundred different kinds of herbs, with the result that she perspired and urinated profusely. A month later, although she'd lost a lot of weight, her face was flushed and her eyes blazed like torches. Ten days before she'd attained her circular tranquility, she entered this shrine. Then she instructed her disciples to seal it up, and after that, she meditated and recited sutras sutras all the way to all the way to nirvana nirvana.

"On the day she entered the shrine, she also instructed her disciples to open it eight months after her death, then take her desiccated body out to be lacquered and gilded, and then put back in the shrine. As they had been instructed, my teacher Wisdom Forest and other Shifus opened the shrine on October eighth, and found that not only was the Dharma body of their mistress intact, but her head had grown hair, and she emanated a faint, sweet fragrance and a pale gold aura. According to Buddhism, this resulted from her profound practice, strict vegan diet, and asceticism."

I asked, "How?"

"Because monks and nuns with a long, strenuous practice of sitting meditation will have their arteries and veins opened up. And if half a month before they enter nirvana nirvana they also stop eating completely-so that only a minimal amount of fat and water will remain in their bodies-then their bodies will be mummified after they die. There are many ways to preserve the body. Some put it in an arid cave to let it air dry. Others leave it in an earthenware jar stuffed with wood sc.r.a.ps and straw papers. Then the jar will be sealed to keep out air and stored in a cool, dry place to dehydrate the body." they also stop eating completely-so that only a minimal amount of fat and water will remain in their bodies-then their bodies will be mummified after they die. There are many ways to preserve the body. Some put it in an arid cave to let it air dry. Others leave it in an earthenware jar stuffed with wood sc.r.a.ps and straw papers. Then the jar will be sealed to keep out air and stored in a cool, dry place to dehydrate the body."

I began to feel disgusted, but also fascinated to learn about all these methods of preserving dead bodies.

Yi Kong went on: "Revealing Mystery Shifu was a very special teacher. In the last fifteen years of her life, she didn't eat anything, speak a word, or step out of this monastery."

"But how can this be possible?!" I exclaimed, the air suddenly feeling stale in my mouth.

But Yi Kong again ignored me and continued: "Revealing Mystery Shifu hid herself in this small hut behind the Hall of Guan Yin. That's why, after her death, we converted it to a relic hall for her body's storage. During her long years of closed-door meditation, she consumed nothing except water, herb soup, or juice. Neither did she talk to anybody. If for a specific reason she really had to open her mouth, she'd just say 'yes' or 'no.' Later, she stopped talking completely. To communicate in case of emergency, she used a sign language that only Wisdom Forest Shifu, my teacher, could understand. Similarly, except for very specific reasons, she would not receive visitors. Every day for the last fifteen years of her life, all she did was meditate and silently recite sutras sutras."

Yi Kong stared into my eyes and added, "Only due to Revealing Mystery Shifu's strenuous practice could her body attain this imperishable state."

As my initial fright waned, I felt myself becoming entranced by this dead nun and suddenly revealed aspect of the monastic life. Could my body attain the same imperishability if I started to meditate strenuously tomorrow?

But before I had a chance to ask, Yi Kong spoke again. "Every day I come here to pay my respect to Revealing Mystery Shifu and never run into anybody. So today must be a very meaningful karmic day that I see you here. Anyway, it's late now and we shouldn't disturb Shifu's Golden Body anymore. Let's go outside and I'll tell you more about this if you want to know."

Hands pressed together, Yi Kong and I bowed deeply to the Golden Body three times before she led me out of the hall. As I turned back to the golden face, I felt as if she were looking at me with something to tell me, if only she could speak.

In silence, Yi Kong and I walked meditatively on the winding path leading back toward the stone garden. The air outside was balmy and scented by the healthy vegetation; the sky burned with stars. Was my encounter with the flesh-bodied Bodhisattva in the relic hall a dream, a nightmare, a hallucination, a revelation...or a calling?

We finally arrived at the stone garden and sat down on a bench next to the waterfall. Amid the sound of rippling water and the deep-throated croaking of the frogs, I asked Yi Kong if my body could also attain the same imperishability as Revealing Mystery Shifu's.

"No," she said, "unless..." She caught herself in midsentence.

"Unless what?"

She didn't answer my question, but steered the subject in a different track. "Meng Ning, this only happens to monks and nuns." She stared deeply into my eyes. "I should say this is a rare karmic result for only a few very special high monks and nuns."

In the silence that followed, suddenly I realized her implication: if I wanted my body to attain imperishability like Revealing Mystery's, I also had to be a nun. I shuddered.

Yi Kong looked up at the starry sky, then looked down around the moonlit garden before she continued. "What Revealing Mystery Shifu did certainly deserves the greatest respect. But we also need active, 'entering the world' nuns and monks to spread the Dharma and to carry out compa.s.sionate deeds." She turned to search my eyes. "Our temple needs more open-minded, outgoing women to become nuns."

Feeling an awkwardness crawling inside me, I looked down at the ground to avoid her gaze. A beat or two pa.s.sed before I asked, "Shifu, why can't lay people's bodies attain imperishability after they die?"

Under the moonlight, Yi Kong's nicely shaped bald head seemed to glow with enlightenment. "Because lay people are constantly bothered by worldly affairs. They can never concentrate as deeply in meditation as do people who belong to the religious order."

I blurted out, "What about...someone like me? If I were to become a nun, could my body be imperishable after I die?"

Yi Kong shot me an intense look. "Possibly...but only if you become-"

Just then, a shout pierced the quiet of the garden like the tw.a.n.g of an arrow shooting through the air. "Shifu! Shifu! Oh, A Mi Tuo Fo A Mi Tuo Fo!" It was the young nun Enlightened to Emptiness. She dashed into the garden, gasping, sobbing, and wiping her tears with her sleeve. She tripped over the stone lantern a few feet in front of us, and fell.

"What's the matter?" Yi Kong dashed to her and helped her up. I hurried to both of them.

"Yi Kong Shifu...no good...no good..." She kept swallowing her own words. Yi Kong lightly touched her shoulder and said, her voice that of a concerned nurse, "Calm down and tell us what happened."

Her face flushed, with some blotches of white, Enlightened to Emptiness spat out in one breath, "Wonderful Countenance Shifu tried to kill herself!"

Although Yi Kong's voice sounded loud and sharp, her face stayed calm. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know..."

"Let's go to her now!" Yi Kong took my arm and the three of us dashed out of the garden and sped to Wonderful Countenance's-Dai Nam's-dormitory.

Nuns crowded the small room-milling around, talking, crying, yelling, pa.s.sing Chinese medicinal oil, towels, a gla.s.s of water. Yi Kong spoke authoritatively: "Please step away and give Wonderful Countenance Shifu fresh air." She turned to Enlightened to Emptiness. "Call the ambulance, quick!"

Dai Nam was lying on the floor. Next to her lay a rope, numb and stagnant like a lifeless snake. Shards, like miniature mountain snowcaps, were scattered everywhere. It was the ceramic Buddha knocked over from her altar. Dai Nam had tried to hang herself. The realization hit me so hard that I felt my heart lose balance and plunge over a precipice.

I jerked back, then asked a young novice, "How did this happen?"

She said, "A Shifu was pa.s.sing Wonderful Countenance Shifu's dormitory and heard a loud shattering sound. She knocked to ask what happened, but n.o.body answered, so she broke in. She found Wonderful Countenance Shifu hanging herself, so she immediately took her down."

The young novice pointed to the heaps of shards on the floor and whispered into my ear, "Buddha sacrificed himself to save Shifu's life."

Yi Kong knelt beside Dai Nam. I went over to kneel next to them.

"Wonderful Countenance Shifu," Yi Kong asked very gently, "are you all right?"

Dai Nam opened her mouth, but no words came, only the sound of forced air. The red, snakelike scar on her face writhed painfully as if it were freshly gutted.

"It's all right now, and you'll be fine." Yi Kong pondered for a few moments before she asked, very softly, "But why?"

Dai Nam repeatedly shook her head while lifting her hand to wave us away, then she closed her eyes.

A nun found a piece of paper on the altar and handed it to Yi Kong. I craned over her shoulder to read.

Shifus,At twenty-five, I took my vow to be vegetarian so as not to harm any sentient being nor consume any stimulant to hinder my cultivation. But today I broke the vow I'd kept for twenty years. A lay woman offered me a turnip cake, which I gladly accepted and ate. Later I found out there was garlic, one of the five stimulants, sprinkled in the cake.In my whole life, I have tried very carefully to keep my vows and I am very proud that they have never been broken for twenty long years. Now I am ashamed of myself. My contaminated body should not continue in this life.Your servant in the Dharma,Wonderful Countenance Yi Kong whispered into Dai Nam's ear, "But, Wonderful Countenance Shifu, you didn't know there was garlic in the cake...."

Right then the ambulance arrived. When the two ambulance men tried to take Dai Nam onto the stretcher, she frantically pushed them away. So finally several nuns had to take hold of the stretcher and move her into the ambulance. Then we all followed the van to the hospital. Except for Yi Kong, we were all made to wait outside the emergency room. After a long time, Yi Kong finally came out with a doctor. We all felt relieved when the doctor told us that Dai Nam's life was not in danger. But to make sure that everything would be OK, she would have to stay in the hospital for observation.

The next day, I went early to Kwong Wah Hospital to see Dai Nam. Enlightened to Emptiness was feeding her from a bowl of congee when I entered the medicinal-smelling room.

Dai Nam spotted me instantly; a faint smile came over her face. I put down the fruit basket I'd brought her on the bedside chest and said very softly, as if she were now my child, "Shifu, I've brought you some grapes and juice."

She nodded. Enlightened to Emptiness put down the bowl and came to whisper into my ear, "Miss Du, the doctor says due to Shifu's throat constriction, she shouldn't talk for a while."

The young nun went back to feeding her. When finished, she helped Dai Nam lie down on the bed. None of us said anything until Dai Nam closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Enlightened to Emptiness lowered her voice. "Miss Du, you've missed Yi Kong Shifu. She and the others have just left."

Just when I was about to inquire about Dai Nam's condition, the doctor came in. He examined Dai Nam's neck, listened to her breathe, then read and signed the chart. When we followed him outside the room, he said, "The patient has hemorrhage and edema of the larynx, so she shouldn't talk or eat anything solid for a while." He paused to adjust his gla.s.ses. "Besides, she's still emotionally unstable, so watch out for her and avoid saying anything she has to answer."

After the doctor had left, I asked the young nun, "Is Shifu still upset over eating that cake?"

"I suppose so."

After a pause, I said, "I'm sure you must be very tired looking after Shifu, so why don't you go outside to get some fresh air, food, and take a rest? I'll stay with her."

"You're so nice, Miss Du. Thank you." The young nun smiled and turned to walk out. I watched until her back disappeared down the stairs before I went back to Dai Nam's room. The real reason I had told the young novice I would take her place was that I wanted to share some tranquil time alone with my friend.

But Dai Nam remained deeply asleep and so, when Enlightened to Emptiness returned, I left the hospital and took a bus to Golden Lotus Temple. I wanted to continue my unfinished discussion of the Golden Body with Yi Kong.

Yi Kong had just finished lunch and was looking at some pictures.

"Have some tea, Meng Ning," she said after I'd sat down opposite her.

I took the cup she offered, then told her about my visit to Dai Nam. Yi Kong told me not to worry, for the doctor had a.s.sured her that Dai Nam would be fine.

After that, Yi Kong continued to scrutinize the pictures for a few moments before she handed them to me. "These are photographs of the Buddhist stone statues and cliff sculptures I took in Sichuan a few years ago."

I carefully studied the numerous Buddhas, Guan Yins, wrathful warriors, Buddhist attendants. "They're beautiful. And very powerful, too. Even now I'm only looking at the pictures, but I can feel their qi qi emanating." emanating."

Yi Kong nodded while she quietly sipped her tea. "It's a shame that I don't have time to go back to take more pictures and do more doc.u.mentation. You see"-she handed me another one with a Buddha whose face was completely weathered away-"if we don't do anything, in the future not only the face, but the whole Buddha will be gone." She shook her head. "What a shame."

"But there must be other people who are saving all these?" I asked.

"Of course." She stared at me intently. "But they are either scholars whose perspective is purely academic, or Buddhists whose perspective is purely religious. It's hard to have someone who possesses a balance of the two." I'd be a fool to miss her hidden meaning. It was me, only me, that she wanted to undertake this project for her temple.

I didn't reply. I stared at the jade green tea and thought of something else.

Then her resonant voice rose again. "Is there something on your mind?"

"Hmmm-" I looked up and met her all-knowing eyes.

"Meng Ning, you don't look well. I can tell that something is bothering you, even the other day. If you need help, I'm here."

I said, lowering my gaze to avoid hers, "Yi Kong Shifu, I'm...very confused."

"It is natural to feel confused being alive in this illusory world."

After some silence, she cast me another meaningful, yet softer, look. "I suggest you stay here for a while-do some serious meditation to clear your mind."

I was surprised to hear this. "You mean-"

"You can come here and live with the nuns for a few days. The temple might help to settle your perplexity." She paused. "And of course if you don't like it, you can go home anytime. There's no commitment."

Seeing that I didn't respond, she smiled. "Think about it, Meng Ning. It'll only do you good. Moreover, during meditation, you'll be under my supervision."

To my surprise, considering that I'd never liked meditation, this time I instantly agreed. "Yi Kong Shifu, thank you for arranging this for me."

"Don't be polite."

28.

The Private Retreat Michael had already called several times to ask about me, and each time before we hung up, reminded me to start preparing for our wedding. Yesterday I told him not to call for a while because I had to live in the nunnery for a few days to help Yi Kong with her museum project and to meditate. He showed disappointment but understanding. "I'll miss your voice, Meng Ning. Please call me if you have a minute."

I told Mother I was going to live for five days in Golden Lotus Temple to help with a big event to get donations for the poor. Had I told her the truth, that I was going to a retreat and would live like a nun for a few days, she'd have thrown herself into a state of panic, thrusting her pudgy finger at my nose and yelling, "Then you'll shave your head and put on a loose robe and renounce the world. After that, desert your mother and leave her to die in loneliness and grandchildlessness!"

The next day I packed some simple clothes and daily necessities, then headed straight for Golden Lotus Temple.

Yi Kong put me in a small room by myself, close to the hall where the nuns slept. She told me that the main purpose of this private retreat, besides meditation, was to live with the nuns and to learn from them-their compa.s.sionate deeds, their rituals, chanting, and, of course, the Four Great Impressive Ways of walking, living, sitting, lying.

Only the first day here, I'd already felt a tinge of regret. So many rules to follow and so many rituals to learn! I wondered how Yi Kong and the other nuns could look so peaceful and detached all the time.

My first a.s.signment, to my great disappointment, was to help out in the Xiangji Chu, Xiangji Chu, the Fragrance Acc.u.mulating Kitchen, to prepare vegetarian dishes-tofu, tarot, yam, bok choi, fungus, gluten, seaweed, anything tasteless that you could name. Chopping up carrots, celery, mushrooms, and taro into fine pieces was very slow work for me. Enviously, I watched experienced nuns arrange the food on the dish to look like a painting-smoked tofu piled up to represent mountains, chopped mushrooms, rocks, and noodles, rivers. Or a visual the Fragrance Acc.u.mulating Kitchen, to prepare vegetarian dishes-tofu, tarot, yam, bok choi, fungus, gluten, seaweed, anything tasteless that you could name. Chopping up carrots, celery, mushrooms, and taro into fine pieces was very slow work for me. Enviously, I watched experienced nuns arrange the food on the dish to look like a painting-smoked tofu piled up to represent mountains, chopped mushrooms, rocks, and noodles, rivers. Or a visual koan, koan, riddle-rice b.a.l.l.s with swirls inside, symbolizing endless transmigration. riddle-rice b.a.l.l.s with swirls inside, symbolizing endless transmigration.

Before the meal, I had to wash rice. One time a senior nun made me rinse and rerinse the rice for more times than I wanted to remember-until the washed-away sand equalled that on the banks of the Ganges River!