Perry's Killer Playlist Part 2

Dad reached for the e-mail in Linus's hand. "May I see this, please?"

"These terms are absurd," Linus said, s.n.a.t.c.hing the e-mail away before any of us could see it. "You can tell George Armitage that he can take his tour and shove it up his-"

"Perry's never been out of the country before," Mom said.

"That's not true," I said. "I went to Toronto for the Shakespeare festival my junior year. And we all went to Paradise Island for Christmas that year. My pa.s.sport's up to date."

"Okay." Paula took in a deep breath. "With all due respect, I think we're focusing on the wrong things here."

"For once we're in perfect agreement." Linus put his arm around my shoulder and led me aside, lowering his voice. "Perry, you know I respect you. You know I want what's right for the band. I'll go to the mat for you every single time." He held his head as if it were in danger of flying apart. "But these terms-"

"What about if we all went with you?" Mom said. "We'd stay out of your way, let you play your shows..."

"Wait." That was Annie, from all the way upstairs in her bedroom, where she'd apparently been monitoring the entire conversation through the ductwork. "We're going to Europe?"

At that moment the entire east wing of the house exploded with the heavy, chugging drum and guitar notes that meant Caleb and Norrie had plugged in and were warming up at top volume, waiting for me to come out and join them. Sasha, our lead singer, wasn't here yet-he was always the last to arrive, and ever since he'd bought a vintage Indian motorcycle that broke down every other week, it wasn't uncommon for him to show up in his mom's Volvo, or even on a bicycle.

"Family summit." Annie moved past me in a cloud of conflicting perfumes and hair treatment smells. "Oh, hi, Linus." She looked at my dad. "Are we going to Europe?"

"No," Dad said.

"How come Perry gets to go?"

"Don't worry, sweetheart," Linus said, glaring over her head at Paula. "Uncle Linus isn't going to let the evil lady take anybody to Europe for this kind of chump change."

"Perry's going on tour," Mom said, "with his band. Isn't that exciting?"

Annie rolled her eyes. "I'm all a-flutter." Irony was her new ketchup, and she was putting it on everything.

"I think I'd better take a look at that contract," Dad said, reaching for his reading gla.s.ses, which weren't in his breast pocket.

"Don't bother," Linus said, and his hands had gone from his head to his stomach. His initial wave of outrage had pa.s.sed, leaving him with what looked like chronic dyspepsia. "Just let me kick you in the b.a.l.l.s and you'll get the idea."

"Linus," Paula said, "I know this is your preferred method of negotiation, but-"

"Negotiation?" Linus wailed, flung back by the very apogee of disbelief. "What is there to negotiate? How am I supposed to negotiate with nothing?"

"In case you didn't notice," Paula said, putting her arm around me, "I'm on Perry's side here. I'm kind of crazy about the guy."

"Oh, that's rich. You're good." He waved his hands to anyone who might listen. "She's good. This is worse than the Jacksons' Victory Tour back in eighty-four, when we had to leave t.i.to in Vancouver."

"Linus, that's enough," I said. "Let's just listen to what she has to say, okay?"

"This is how it starts," Linus moaned. "This is how it always starts..."

Out in the garage, the guitar and drums had stopped, and I heard Caleb and Norrie come blundering inside, c.o.kes in hand, to find out what was taking me so long. They saw Linus standing there with Paula and my folks and stopped in their tracks.

"Hey, dude," Norrie said. "What's up?"

"I think you'll find that the terms are boilerplate for any new band with no track record internationally," Paula said. "Armitage is working out the merchandising deals with promoters for shirts and promotional items, and the exposure for Inchworm-"

Caleb blinked. "What's she talking about, Perry?"

There was a clattering noise, and I looked out the window and saw that Sasha had arrived. He was wearing leather pants and a feather-plumed boa and pedaling the old twelve-speed Schwinn, which meant that his motorcycle had broken down yet again and was drooling oil somewhere in the back of his mom's garage-but for once, none of these setbacks seemed to be bothering him in the least. Instead, he leapt off the bike while it was still rolling, letting it rattle to a halt into our garbage cans, and came sprinting up my front steps, bursting into the house, taking in the sight of me and Caleb and Norrie with a huge grin on his face.

"Did you guys hear?" He pumped his fists. "Did Linus tell you? We're going to Europe, b.i.t.c.hes!"

"Wait," Caleb said. "Whaaaat?"

Norrie's mouth dropped open. "Seriously?"

"h.e.l.l, yeah! Inchworm's first world tour! Linus says once he negotiates the contract it's gonna put us over the top, and-" He turned around. "Oh, hey, Linus."

Linus dropped his face in his hands. Through his fingers I could hear him murmuring to himself, praying for strength to persevere in the face of insurmountable obstacles-first among them, the band that he'd agreed to represent.

"So," Paula said, "can I call Armitage and tell him we have a deal?"

5. "You Are a Tourist"

-Death Cab for Cutie.

"Man," Norrie said, "anybody else feel like wuh-we've been doing this for about tuh-ten years already?"

It was eight-thirty at night, Italian time, and the Inchworm European tour had just rolled into Venice's Santa Lucia station-meaning that we were lugging our own gear down onto the platform, having spent the better part of the last two days on the train playing Nintendo DS and trying not to drive each other crazy.

Time had become a blur. With Linus leading the way, we'd left London yesterday at midday, taken the Chunnel into Paris, and left after lunch today on the way into Venice.

Things had started out a little shaky. At our first gig in London, Caleb couldn't find his Stratocaster, Norrie was still sick from the airline food, and half our amps weren't wired to run off European power outlets. Backstage, Linus was pacing a hole in the dressing room floor, chain-smoking some obscure brand of foul-smelling British cigarettes while rea.s.suring everybody that it was going to be okay. Outside, the crowd was getting antsy while the roadies fiddled with the amplifiers until finally, at a quarter past nine, Sasha stood up and said screw it, he didn't know about the rest of us, but he for one hadn't flown halfway around the world to sit in some dressing room like a bunch of American losers.

Then we went out there and rocked.

In the end it had taken approximately thirty seconds to realize what we should've known from the start: When the four of us got together, it didn't matter if we were playing in New York, in London, or on the moon-when it came right down to it, at this particular moment in our lives, when our backs were to the wall, we could set that s.h.i.t on fire.

Even with half the amps off, Caleb's loaner guitar squealed and soloed like the devil's own chainsaw, Sasha was pulling out moves that none of us had ever seen before, spoonfeeding the crowd until they were shrieking for more, and Norrie sounded like he was setting off cherry bombs in the drum kit. We roared through every song on the set list, including a few new ones that we'd only practiced a couple times, until even the bouncers came up front and started dancing. Midway through the show, I glanced back at Norrie and saw him grinning back at me, a perfect reflection of that slightly dazed feeling of wonder. This is real, we were both thinking, at the exact same time. Holy s.h.i.t, this is actually happening to us right now.

Up front, Sasha gave his patented Navajo war whoop and a flying helicopter kick that just cleared the microphone stand. "h.e.l.lo, U.K.!" he yelled. "We are Inchworm and we are here to rock you-'kay?"

The place went absolutely bonkers. Finally, after playing almost three straight hours and closing with a rousing cover of Sham 69's "If the Kids Are United" that had the whole place up on its feet and singing along, we stumbled offstage, exhausted and soaked with sweat, grinning like fools, and collapsed into a cab back to the hotel with a couple of girls from the front row. I called Paula in New York and told her how it had gone, while Sasha leaned out the window and howled, "Who wants to do that again?"

We all did.

Now, forty-four hours later, we were here in Venice. Two steps off the train, Norrie dropped his duffle bag on the platform next to Caleb's and flung himself down on it as if it were a huge body pillow, pulling down his baseball cap and closing his eyes. Linus had fought his way into the station to buy tickets for the water taxi, and Sasha had tagged along, already on the prowl for Italian girls. Of the four of us, he was the only one with a seemingly limitless supply of energy, propelled forward by the libido of an adolescent rhino.

I was digging through my bag for the last Red Bull when my phone started ringing. I looked at the screen and saw an international number I didn't recognize.

"h.e.l.lo?"

"Perry?"

"Yes."

"George Armitage here. How are you, mate?"

I stood up a little straighter, suddenly feeling wide awake. "Oh. I'm-I'm fine." Even after all the time I'd been with Paula and talked about Armitage, what he was like and so on, I'd never actually spoken to the man.

"How's the tour going so far?"

"It's going great. We were in London... It's been incredible-"

"Splendid. Love the new songs, honestly. The reviews of the London show have been over the moon. You blokes are going to be huge-you do realize that, don't you?"

"Thanks," I said. In front of me, Caleb and Norrie were now both sprawled out on their bags. They looked like they'd gone into matching comas. Norrie was drooling.

"You're in Venice now, aren't you?" Armitage asked.

"That's right. We just got in."

"Brilliant, brilliant. Wish I could be there to show you the city."

"Yeah, that would be cool." For a split second I toyed with the idea of asking him where he was, but I managed to stop the question from tumbling off my lips. According to Paula, George Armitage was an intensely private man. If you Googled him-and we all had-you'd find out that he was British by birth but had renounced his British citizenship and spent most of his time traveling, a media multi-hyphenate. n.o.body was quite sure where all his money had come from. In recent years he'd expanded his operation globally and become, for all intents and purposes, his own free-floating sovereign nation. He ran his own production company, a publishing group, and an airline. By all accounts he had more cash than he knew what to do with.

"While you're traveling, if there's anything you need, I hope you won't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you," I said, unable to shake the feeling that there must have been some other reason he'd decided to call. I didn't have to wait long to find out what it was.

"Listen, mate. I didn't want to mention anything too early, but at this rate, there might be a record deal for you at the end of all of this."

I felt my heart stop. "Seriously?"

"Absolutely," Armitage said. "Ask Paula. The last band whose tour I set up sold six million units in the first two months. Legends are forged by fire. We'll speak soon. Cheers."

I said goodbye, turned, and kicked Norrie's duffle bag until he pushed himself up on his elbows, blinking, and gave me the finger. "Whuh-what the h.e.l.l's wrong with you, Stormaire?"

"George Armitage just called me. He wants to get us a record deal."

"Armitage?" Norrie stared at me. All at once he didn't look remotely tired. Caleb sat up next to him. "What? Now?"

"Come on," I said. "Let's go find Linus."

They were both on their feet already and grabbed their bags, and I hoisted my guitar case, following them down the platform, my head whirling with what Armitage had said and with the abrupt influx of noise and commotion inside the train station.

6. "Another Girl, Another Planet"

-The Replacements.

The whole thing happened so fast that I almost didn't realize what was happening until it was over. One moment I was following Caleb and Norrie through the automatic sliding doors into the main terminal, and the next, I was alone in the crowd.

I turned around and looked back in the direction I'd come, thinking maybe I'd somehow gotten ahead of them, but they weren't back there. Off to my left was a big cafe, and somewhere to my right was a row of ticket windows. I didn't see Linus or any of the others up there. People buzzed by in every direction, wheeling luggage, toting backpacks. None of them was familiar.

Ten minutes in Venice and I was already lost.

I walked out of the station and down the gray steps leading to the Grand Ca.n.a.l, then stopped in my tracks.

Not until that moment did it really hit me that I was in a city that had rivers instead of streets and boats instead of cars. There were intersections, alleyways, and bridges with gondolas tied up to them. Up above the half-submerged doorways and steps I saw ancient stone hotels and ruined palaces sinking into the lagoon. Fog hung over the surface, seagulls dipping and flicking up the waterway, their bellies glinting white and then disappearing in the dark.

I bought a twenty-four-hour pa.s.s for the vaporetto, got on the next boat, and called Norrie.

"Dude," he said, "whuh-what happened to you? We thought we luh-lost you for good."

"I'm fine. I just lost you guys at the train station."

"Whuh-Where are you now?"

"The Grand Ca.n.a.l." I was standing on the deck of a vaporetto with my bag and my guitar case, heading down the ca.n.a.l. Overhead, high gothic arches and crumbling statuary moved slowly past on either side, lit from within like a Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Define lame: I was in Venice, and all I could think of was Disney World. "I'll meet you at the hotel."

"Yuh-You buh-better. Linus is fuh-freaking out."

"Tell him to calm down. I'll be there in an hour or so."

"It's the Puh-Pensione Guerrato," he said, "by the Ruh-Rialto Bridge."

"Got it."

"Whuh-What are you duh-doing?"

"Seeing the sights."

"It's luh-like ten o'clock at nuh-night!"

"Relax, okay? I'll catch up to you later."

Norrie fell quiet for just a second, and when he spoke again, there was no trace of a stutter in his voice.