Perfect Behavior Part 13

request the pleasure of your company

on Friday evening February sixth

from nine to twelve

AT DELMONICO'S

to meet a.s.st. Fire-Chief CHARLEY SCHMIDT and

Mrs. SCHMIDT

Invitations to graduating exercises are worded thus:

THE SENIOR CLa.s.s

of the

SOUTH ROCHESTER FEMALE DENTAL INSt.i.tUTE

requests the honor of your presence at the

Commencement Exercises

on Tuesday evening, June the fifth

at eight o'clock

MASONIC OPERA HOUSE

"That Six- Orchestra.

ACCEPTANCES AND REGRETS

Responses to invitations usually take the form of "acceptances" or "regrets." It is never correct, for example, to write the following sort of note:

DEAR MRS. CRONICK:

Your invitation for the 12th inst. received and in reply would advise that I am not at the present time in a position to signify whether or not I can accept. Could you at your convenience furnish me with additional particulars re the proposed affair--number of guests, character of refreshments, size of orchestra, etc.? Awaiting an early reply, I am, Yours truly, ALFRED Ca.s.s NAPE.

If one wishes to attend the party, one "accepts" on a clean sheet of note-paper with black ink from a "fountain" pen or inkwell. A hostess should not, however, make the mistake of thinking that a large number of "acceptances" implies that anybody really wishes to attend her party.

The following is a standard form of acceptance:

Dr. Tanner accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of Mrs.

Frederick c.u.mmings Bussey for Thursday evening, December twelfth, at half after eight.

This note need not be signed. The following "acceptance" is decidedly demode:

DEAR MRS. ASTOR:

Will I be at your ball? Say, can a duck swim?

Count on me sure. FRED.

It is also incorrect and somewhat boorish to write "accepted" across the face of the invitation and return it signed to the hostess.

If one does not care to attend the party, one often sends one's "regrets" although one just as often sends one's "acceptances,"

depending largely upon the social position of one's hostess. The proper form of "regret" is generally as follows:

Alice Ben Bolt regrets that she will be unable to accept the kind invitation of Major General and Mrs. Hannafield for Wednesday evening at half after eight.

Sometimes it is better to explain in some manner the cause of the "regret," as for example:

Alice Ben Bolt regrets that, owing to an ulcerated tooth in the left side of her mouth, and severe neuralgic pains all up and down her left side, she will be unable to accept the kind invitation of Major General and Mrs. Hannafield for Wednesday evening at half after eight, at "The Bananas."

This is not, however, always necessary.

{ill.u.s.tration caption = This is an admirable picture with which to test the "kiddies'" knowledge of good manners at a dinner table. It will also keep them occupied as a puzzle picture since the "faux pas"

ill.u.s.trated herewith will probably not be apparent to the little ones except after careful examination. If, however, they have been conscientiously trained it will not be long, before the brighter ones discover that the spoon has been incorrectly left standing in the cup, that the coffee is being served from the right instead of the left side, and that the lettering of the motto on the wall too nearly resembles the German style to be quite "au fait" in the home of any red-blooded American citizen.}

{ill.u.s.tration caption = Dessert has been reached and the gentleman in the picture is perspiring freely--in itself a deplorable breach of etiquette. He has been attempting all evening to engage the ladies on either side of him in conversation on babies, Camp's Reducing Exercises, politics, Camp's Developing Exercises, music or Charlie Chaplin, only to be rebuffed by a haughty chin on the one hand and a cold shoulder on the other. If he had taken the precaution to consult Stewart's Lightning Calculator of Dinner Table Conversation (one of the many aids to social success to be found in PERFECT BEHAVIOR) he would have realized the bad taste characterizing his choice of topics and would not have made himself a marked figure at this well-appointed dinner table.}

CHAPTER NINE: THE ETIQUETTE OF DINNERS AND b.a.l.l.s

FORMAL DINNERS IN AMERICA

Eating is an extremely old custom and has been practiced by the better cla.s.ses of society almost without interruption from earliest times. And "society," like the potentate of the parable whose touch transformed every object into gold, has embellished and adorned the all-too-common habit of eating, until there has been evolved throughout the ages that most charming and exquisite product of human culture--the formal dinner party. The gentleman of today who delightedly dons his dress suit and escorts into a ten-course dinner some lady mountain climber or other celebrity, is probably little aware of what he owes to his forefathers for having so painstakingly devised for him such a pleasant method of spending his time.

But "before one runs, one must learn to walk"--and the joys of the dinner-party are not to be partaken of without a long preliminary course of training, as many a young man has learned to his sorrow when he discovered that his inelegant use of knife and fork was causing humorous comment up and down the "board" and was drawing upon himself the haughty glances of an outraged hostess. The first requisite of success in dining out is the possession of a complete set of correct table manners--and these, like anything worth while, can be achieved only by patient study and daily practise.

TABLE MANNERS FOR CHILDREN

AS a matter of fact, it is never too early to begin to acquire the technique of correct eating, and the nursery is the best possible place for the first lessons in dining-room behavior. Children should be taught at an early age the fundamentals of "table" manners in such a way that by the time they have reached the years of manhood the correct use of knife, fork, spoon and fingerbowl is to them almost second nature. But the parents should remember, above everything else, to instruct their children in such a way that the pupil takes pleasure in his lessons.

This is the method which is employed today in every successful school or "kindergarten"; this is the method which really produces satisfactory results.

Thus, for example, if you are a father and your boy Edward persists in bringing his pet tadpole to the table in a gla.s.s jar, you should not punish or scold him; a much more effective and graphic method of correcting this habit would be for you to suddenly pick up the tadpole one day at luncheon and swallow it. No whipping or scolding would so impress upon the growing boy the importance of the fact that the dinner table is not the place for pets.