Painted Moon Part 13

Constance took a deep breath, obviously fighting for control. "Can't we argue about this after the opening of Painted Moon?"

"No," Leah said stubbornly. "I want this series exhibited. It's called Fes. It's important to me."

Constance bit her lower lip and clenched and unclenched her fists. "Why are you making me do this?"

"Maybe it's time for us both to renounce being invisible. To not run from the label, but to use it and not let anyone make it an insult."

"You can be so incredibly naive."

Leah stared at Constance's unyielding expression. Until now, she had trusted Constance's judgment without question. Abruptly her anger dissolved. She looked at the paintings again and realized how Constance saw them. How most people would see them.

Sensuous, even erotic. Not exploring the female form, but worshipping it. Painted by a woman in love, in l.u.s.t, in the heat of pa.s.sion for another woman. Desire and longing mingled with intimate understanding of the texture and heat of the female body. Would anyone but another woman know that the small of a woman's back is slightly darker, slightly hotter than her shoulders? That her hips are cooler, her thighs smoother?

Leah sighed and felt exhausted. "You're right. I wouldn't have been prepared for the fallout." Starting over on her reputation was untenable - she couldn't be a beginner again.

"You're finally talking sense."

"Let me think about it," Leah said slowly. "I need to think it through."

"You will install Painted Moon before the photographer gets there, right?"

Leah nodded.

Constance left the circle of the paintings and stood next to Leah. "I'm sorry I got upset. Maybe that's a tribute to your work. They would stir people up. I didn't know - I didn't know I felt that strongly."

"I don't know how I feel." She looked forlornly at the paintings. "I thought I'd already come out."

Constance patted Leah's cheek. "Why don't I meet you at the gallery tomorrow at one?"

Leah nodded. "Can you see yourself out?"

"Sure."

She listened to the sound of the T-bird's engine, then sat down on the floor and looked at her work. The daylight faded and she got stiffly to her feet. She covered the canvases and went to the dark house wishing that Sharla were there to tell her what to do. She longed to call Jackie, but what was left of her courage failed her completely.

"You've sunk to a new low," Jackie told herself. "You should have made a date. It's just because you've got nothing to do on a Sat.u.r.day night that you want to call her." There had been a month of Sat.u.r.day nights with nothing to do. When she didn't make an effort to go out and keep herself diverted, she sat around and thought about Leah. She had grown to loathe her apartment's tiny kitchen and dark light. Thank G.o.d for her job-the work was absorbing and rewarding. But at night she brooded.

If she didn't do something tonight, she'd lose her self-respect. She remembered how she had accused Leah of being obsessed with Sharla, but now she understood a little more about obsession and love. Leah had rejected her, but it didn't make her stop hoping. She had to try one more time.

Examine your motives, she told herself. Your mother arrives at the end of next week and could it be you want to be able to introduce her to Leah the artist and Leah your lover? Pipe dreams. Why couldn't she be content to show her mother the first set of drawings she'd done on her own for a client a.s.signed to her? Drawings Angela herself had admired.

Do it or shut up, she told herself.

Her finger trembled on the b.u.t.tons. She took two rapid, deep breaths and listened to the ring. The phone was answered with a click and the familiar sound of a taped greeting.

She gathered her composure and waited for the beep. "Hi, Leah, this is Jackie. Um, Jackie Frakes. I hope you remem - of course you do. I was just calling, um..." She berated herself for sounding like an idiot. "I was calling because..."

The receiver was suddenly lifted. "I'm here."

Jackie swallowed and couldn't find her voice.

"Are you there?"

"Yes. I, well, I've been thinking and I... the way we parted. I think we need to talk about it. At least I need to."

There was a long silence. Then Leah said, "I think so too. Would you like to come to my place?"

"I'd love to," Jackie said. "Are you busy now... I'm so, there's no particular urgency except I... well. I'd like to clear things up."

"Tonight would be great." Leah told her how to find the house and Jackie hung up after offering to bring something for dinner and scribbling down Leah's directions to a Thai take-out not far from her home.

She changed into something comfortable and realized as she walked to her car that she had chosen clothes that flattered her figure and came off easily. She sat for a moment in the car and came to a decision. She would seduce Leah if she could. She would take her to bed and do everything she could to make Leah want her to stay there. She knew she was competing with Sharla's memory. If she had even the remotest chance of meaning something to Leah, then she wanted to seize it. She could handle being second best in Leah Beck's eyes.

She hoped she looked more self-confident than she felt. Some of her tension eased as she listened to Butch barking hysterically and Leah's scolding as Leah opened the door. Leah took the bag of take out and Butch danced around Jackie. Jackie found herself on the floor fending off Butch's s...o...b..ry, happy h.e.l.los. She could wish Leah would show her this much affection, she thought.

Butch finally let her up and followed Jackie to the kitchen.

Leah smiled and pointed at the sink. "There's soap."

Jackie laughed and washed her face. "I guess Butch missed me," she said as she dried herself.

"Butch isn't the only one," Leah said quietly.

Jackie's heart leapt as she met Leah's gaze. She trembled, aware that her pa.s.sion hadn't dimmed. She didn't feel as helpless as she had at the art gallery, as reliant on Leah's direction. But she wanted Leah in the same deep, needful way. In a way that excluded wanting Ina or any other woman. "That's good to know," she said and tried to let her eyes talk for her.

Leah look away and fetched plates and cutlery. They shared pad thai noodles and chicken satay over jasmine rice at the counter in Leah's s.p.a.cious kitchen. They ate quickly and talked little. Jackie would have asked for a tour of the house to see if it matched the Shaker style of the kitchen, but she wanted to move onto more important things. She could see the house anytime. And she had every intention of seeing the bedroom before the night was out.

Leah had already made coffee and they went into the backyard to enjoy the mild evening.

Jackie loved the garden, though it needed some attention. A high fence and two beautiful oaks gave it an enclosed feeling. Jackie realized the garden gave way to a steep slope. A retaining wall would slow down erosion if sink posts could be stabilized. A building too oddly shaped for a garage stood to one side. "What's that?"

"My workshop," Leah said, waving a hand at the small detached building. Jackie followed Leah through the garden to the small gazebo.

"Are you working on anything?"

"I just finished. I don't know when - if-it'll be exhibited." She didn't elaborate. "I spent this afternoon hauling the Painted Moon series to a gallery in San Francisco. It goes on exhibit this Friday night. I have to finish the installation before tomorrow at two. For a photographer." She sat down on the bench and Jackie hesitated a moment, then straddled the bench so she could look at Leah.

"That was fast," Jackie said.

"It was an unexpected opening. You met the owner, Constance... the woman at the gallery when we were leaving."

"Oh," Jackie said. She hoped the darkness hid her blush. "I wasn't exactly at my best."

"I wouldn't say that," Leah said, almost reluctantly, with a hint of teasing in her voice.

Jackie's face burned. "Leah, I..."

"It's okay," Leah said quickly. "You don't have to say anything."

"Okay, I won't," Jackie said. She set her coffee cup down on the railing. Leah looked at her in surprise as she took Leah's cup out of her hand and set it on the railing as well.

Jackie took a deep breath and tried to find her courage. Her voice was a whisper. "Let me show you, then."

A light breeze shifted the oaks and the moonlight flickered across Leah's face. Jackie trembled, aware that she had never done anything like this before, but knowing that the content and form of her entire future rested on her ability to convey how she felt. She had to make Leah understand.

She slowly lifted the hem of her sweater and pulled it up over her head. Her bra unhooked in the front and she unsnapped it, exposing herself in the moonlight.

"Jackie..." Leah swallowed convulsively. 'You don't -"

Jackie put her fingers across Leah's lips. "I do." She slid off the bench to her knees. She stared up at Leah and said intensely, "Let me show you."

Leah's legs opened and Jackie slipped between them, pressing her naked b.r.e.a.s.t.s to Leah's waist. This time she mastered the b.u.t.tons of Leah's shirt without fumbling and her tongue moistened a path across the plain of Leah's chest and flicked at each hardening tip.

She felt Leah's hands come to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and caress the soft sides. Encouraged, she continued her slow adoration of Leah's body, exploring her ribs and stomach with her tongue and kissing her way to the waist of Leah's jeans. She felt at peace with herself and in tune with Leah's body.

She could sense the gradual increase in Leah's skin temperature and simultaneously feel the p.r.i.c.kle of gooseflesh along Leah's back as the cool night air whispered across it. She could hear the tiniest changes in Leah's breathing, sounds that could have been the beginnings of moans. In the moonlight she could see the light and dark of Leah's b.r.e.a.s.t.s and her mouth sought the dark tips with more pressure in response to the quiver that rippled through Leah's body.

She pressed her palm to the seam of Leah's jeans and felt Leah's hips rise in response, meeting the warmth of her hand. She smiled to herself, content to know that if nothing else, she aroused Leah. She drew Leah's head down for a lingering kiss, finishing with the brush of her tongue on the corner of Leah's mouth. Leah's hips surged against Jackie's palm.

Jackie stood up and offered her bare b.r.e.a.s.t.s to Leah's mouth. On impulse, Jackie undid the band at the bottom of her braid and worked her fingers through it while Leah's mouth made love to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She let her hair fall around Leah's head and shoulders.

Leah groaned and raised her head, then pulled Jackie onto her lap, burying her face in Jackie's abundance of hair. Leah kissed it and with hungry urgency returned to Jackie's b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

Jackie reluctantly stood up. "Show me your bed," she said softly.

Leah looked up at her as if Jackie had asked to be shown to the moon. Leah's gaze fell to Jackie's b.r.e.a.s.t.s again, and she leaned forward to kiss them again.

"Let's go to bed, Leah," Jackie said, moving away. She took Leah's hands and drew her to her feet.

Leah swayed and didn't move at first, then she led Jackie back through the garden and into the house. She tore the covers back from the bed and feverishly shoved the soft leggings Jackie wore down until Jackie could kick them completely off. She pushed Jackie down on the bed and knelt, her mouth returning to Jackie's b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

Jackie shuddered with pleasure, thrilling to the rough texture of Leah's jeans against her thighs. Leah abandoned Jackie's b.r.e.a.s.t.s and knelt between Jackie's legs, sank her mouth into Jackie with a deep groan.

Jackie twisted her hips up and she felt a frighteningly powerful contraction which gave way to the first trembling waves of climax. She hadn't meant to... she clutched Leah's head, held it to her and didn't fight the rising tide. She let her pleas tumble out of her throat and rode the crest of her pa.s.sion, simultaneously wishing to stay in this moment of ecstasy forever and pushing it aside to pull Leah into her arms, kissing her deeply, tasting herself in Leah's mouth, on Leah's face. She unb.u.t.toned and unzipped Leah's jeans and slid her hand inward and downward.

Her body was vibrating like a plucked string. Through her quivering fingertips she felt Leah's throbbing wetness and rewarded her with the teasing strokes she liked. Surely Leah could tell that Jackie loved her, loved doing this to her.

Leah responded by lifting her hips, giving Jackie room. "Please. Jackie, please."

She could feel each grip of Leah's muscles. Leah sighed with pleasure and Jackie intended to go as slowly as possible. She tried to remain true to her intentions, but her mouth thirsted for Leah and, unable to help herself, she let her tongue seek out the delicious flesh. Leah groaned and pulled Jackie's hair up over her stomach.

Jackie was aware only of the sensations her tongue and fingers sent her. The sensuality of Leah's body surrounding her fingers, so wet, so yielding but so strong. The heady taste of Leah on her tongue, filling her mouth. She devoted herself to reveling in the beauty of Leah's response and the explosion of her pa.s.sion.

Like an old radio coming on, sounds gradually reached Jackie's ears over the thud of her own rapid heartbeat. Leah's ragged breathing penetrated first, then another sound, a stifled sob.

She gathered Leah in her arms and let her cry, wondering if she should be gratified or concerned. She stroked Leah's hair and shushed her and waited.

Leah fumbled next to the bed and came up with a Kleenex. She blew her nose and mumbled, "Sorry."

"It's okay." Jackie tried for humor. She scratched her crotch and said in as gravelly a tone as she could manage, "All my women cry."

Leah laughed a little. "I'll bet they do."

All laughter gone, Jackie said, "There's only you, you know."

Leah's smile faded but she didn't say anything. She pulled Jackie into her arms and they snuggled down into the bed.

Now's the time to tell her, Jackie thought. Say I love you. The words formed, but Leah stirred slightly and pulled the covers over them.

"Go to sleep," Leah whispered.

To her surprise, Jackie did.

14.

Leah stirred at the sound of a voice and a woof from Butch.

"You know you don't like orange juice, you know you don't."

Jackie's voice. Leah smiled, remembering the cabin. Birds were making a racket outside and white sunshine peeked through the curtains. It looked like a lovely day.

She went to the bathroom and then headed for the kitchen wrapped in her robe. She watched Jackie for a moment, the sunlight draped on her shoulders, her hair like spun obsidian. She was wearing Leah's National Center for Lesbian Rights T-shirt and nothing else.

Jackie smiled at her. "You're blushing."

"No I'm not," Leah said weakly. "I'm just warm."

Jackie laughed and, to Leah's relief, let it go. "You know you don't have any food in here, don't you? Butch is pretty upset about the food situation in general."

Ignorant of Leah's glare, Butch thumped her tail emphatically on the floor.

"I'm starving," Jackie said, her head deep in the refrigerator. "Ah! Well, it's something." She emerged with a package of pre-peeled carrots.

They munched happily in silence, sharing the orange juice between them, until Leah realized they were smiling at each other like idiots.

"About last night," Leah said, then she stopped.

"What about it?"

Leah felt her blush return. "I don't know what to say."

Jackie pursed her lips with a smirk. "Well, I do. Fantastic for starters."