Pages from a Journal with Other Papers Part 16

"I have had my share: probably not in excess. It is difficult for anybody to know whether his suffering is excessive: there is no means of measuring it with that of others."

"Have you no friends with whom you can share it?"

"I have known but one woman intimately, and she is now dead. I have known two or three men whom I esteemed, but close friendship between a woman and a man, unless he is her husband, as a rule is impossible."

"Do you really think so?"

"I am certain of it. I am speaking now of a friendship which would justify a demand for sympathy with real sorrows."

They continued their walk in silence for the next two or three minutes.

"We are now near the end of the lane. I must turn and go back."

"I will go with you."

"Thank you: I should detain you: I have to make a call on business at the White House. Good morning."

They parted.

Dr. Midleton presently met Mrs. Jenkins of Deadman's Rents, who was going to the White House to do a day's washing. A few steps further he met Mr. Harrop in his gig, who overtook Mrs. Fairfax. Thus it came to pa.s.s that Deadman's Rents and the High Street knew before nightfall that Dr. Midleton and Mrs. Fairfax had been seen on the Common that morning.

Mrs. Jenkins protested, that "if she was to be burnt alive with fuz- f.a.ggits and brimstone, nothink but what she witnessed with her own eyes should pa.s.s her lips, whatsomever she might think, and although they were a-walkin'--him with his arm round her waist--she did NOT see him a- kissin' of her--how could she when they were a hundred yards off?"

The Doctor prolonged his stroll and reached home about half-past eleven.

A third of his life had been spent in Langborough. He remembered the day he came and the unpacking of his books. They lined the walls of his room, some of them rare, all of them his friends. n.o.body in Langborough had ever asked him to lend a single volume. The solitary scholar never forsook his studies, but at times he sighed over them and they seemed a little vain. They were not entirely without external effect, for Pope and Swift in disguise often spoke to the vestry or the governors, and the Doctor's manners even in the shops were moulded by his intercourse with the cla.s.sic dead. Their names, however, in Langborough were almost unknown. He had now become hardened by constant unsympathetic contact.

Suddenly a stranger had appeared who was an inhabitant of his own world and talked his own tongue. The prospect of genuine intercourse disclosed itself. None but those who have felt it can imagine the relief, the joyous expansion, which follow the discovery after long years of imprisonment with decent people of a person before whom it is unnecessary to stifle what we most care to express. No wonder he was excited!

But the stranger was a woman. He meditated much that morning on her singular apt.i.tude for reflection, but he presently began to dream over figure, hair, eyes, hands. A picture in the most vivid colours painted itself before him, and he could not close his eyes to it. He was distressed to find himself the victim of this unaccustomed tyranny. He did not know that it is impossible for a man to love a woman's soul without loving her body. There is no such thing as a spiritual love apart from a corporeal love, the one celestial and the other earthly, and the spiritual love begets a pa.s.sion peculiar in its intensity. He was happily diverted by Mr. Bingham, who called about a coming contested election for the governorships.

Next week there was another tea-party at Mrs. Cobb's. The ladies were in high spirits, for a subject of conversation was a.s.sured. If there had been an inquest, or a marriage, or a highway robbery before one of these parties, or if the contents of a will had just been made known, or still better, if any scandal had just come to light, the guests were always cheerful. Now, of course, the topic was Dr. Midleton and Mrs.

Fairfax.

"When I found him in that back parlour," said Mrs. Harrop, "I thought he wasn't there to pay the usual call. Somehow it didn't seem as if he was like a clergyman. I felt quite queer: it came over me all of a sudden.

And then we know he's been there once or twice since."

"I don't wonder at your feeling queer, Mrs. Harrop," quoth Mrs. Cobb.

"I'm sure I should have fainted; and what brazen boldness to walk out together on the Common at nine o'clock in the morning. That girl who brought in the tea--it's my belief that a young man goes after her--but even they wouldn't demean themselves to be seen at it just after breakfast."

"You don't mean to say as your Deborah encourages a man, Mrs. Cobb! I don't know what we are a-comin' to. You've always been so particular, and she seemed so respectable. I AM sorry."

Mrs. Cobb did not quite relish Mrs. Harrop's pity.

"You may be sure, Mrs. Harrop, she was respectable when I took her, and if she isn't I shan't keep her. I AM particular, more so than most folk, and I don't mind who knows it." Mrs. Cobb threw back her cap strings. The denial that she minded who knew it may not appear relevant, but desiring to be spiteful she could not at the moment find a better way of showing her spite than by declaring her indifference to the publication of her virtues. If there was no venom in the substance of the declaration there was much in the manner of it. Mrs. Bingham brought back the conversation to the point.

"I suppose you've heard what Mrs. Jenkins says? Your husband also, Mrs.

Harrop, met them both."

"Yes he did. He was not quite in time to see as much as Mrs. Jenkins saw, and I'm glad he didn't. I shouldn't have felt comfortable if I'd known he had. A clergyman, too! it is shocking. A nice business, this, for the Dissenters."

"Well," said Mrs. Bingham, "what are we to do? I had thought of going to her and giving her a bit of my mind, but she has got that yellow gown to make. What is your opinion, Miss Tarrant?"

"I would not degrade myself, Mrs. Bingham, by any expostulations with her. I would have nothing more to do with her. Could you not relieve her of the unfinished gown? Mrs. Swanley, I am sure, under the circ.u.mstances would be only too happy to complete it for you."

"Mrs. Swanley cannot come near her. I should look ridiculous in her body and one of Swanley's skirts."

"As to the Doctor," continued Miss Tarrant, "I wonder that he can expect to maintain any authority in matters of religion if he marries a dressmaker of that stamp. It would be impossible even if her character were unimpeachable. I am astonished, if he wishes to enter into the matrimonial state, that he does not seek some one who would be able to support him in his position and offer him the sympathy which a man who has had a University education might justifiably demand."

Mrs. Sweeting had hitherto listened in silence. Miss Tarrant provoked her.

"It's all a fuss about nothing, that's my opinion. What has she done that you know to be wrong? And as to the Doctor, he's got a right to please himself. I'm surprised at you, Miss Tarrant, for YOU'VE always stuck for him through thick and thin. As for that Mrs. Jenkins, I'll take my Bible oath that the last time she washed for me she stunk of gin enough to poison me, and went away with two bits of soap in her pocket.

You may credit what she says: _I_ don't, and never demean myself to listen to her."

The ladies came to no conclusion. Mrs. Bingham said that she had suggested a round robin to Dr. Midleton, but that her husband decidedly "discountenanced the proposal." Within a fortnight the election of governors was to take place. There was always a fight at these elections, and this year the Radicals had a strong list. The Doctor, whose term of office had expired, was the most prominent of the Tory and Church candidates, and never doubted his success. He was ignorant of all the gossip about him. One day in that fortnight he might have been seen in Ferry Street. He went into Mrs. Fairfax's shop and was invited as before into the back parlour.

"I have brought you a basket of pears, and the book I promised you, the Utopia." He sat down. "I am afraid you will think my visits too frequent."

"They are not too frequent for me: they may be for yourself."

"Ah! since I last entered your house I have not seen any books excepting my own. You hardly know what life in Langborough is like."

"Does n.o.body take any interest in archaeology?"

"n.o.body within five miles. Sinclair cares nothing about it: he is Low Church, as I have told you."

"Why does that prevent his caring about it?"

"Being Low Church he is narrow-minded, or, perhaps it would be more correct to say, being narrow-minded he is Low Church. He is an indifferent scholar, and occupies himself with his religious fancies and those of his flock. He can reign supreme there. He is not troubled in that department by the difficulties of learning and is not exposed to criticism or contradiction."

"I suppose it is a fact of the greatest importance to him that he and his parishioners have souls to be saved, and that in comparison with that fact others are immaterial."

"We all believe we have souls to be saved. Having set forth G.o.d's way of saving them we have done all we ought to do. G.o.d's way is not sufficient for Sinclair. He enlarges it out of his own head, and instructs his silly, ignorant friends to do the same. He will not be satisfied with what G.o.d and the Church tell him."

"G.o.d and the Church, according to Dr. Midleton's account, have not been very effective in Langborough."

"They hear from me, madam, all I am commissioned to say, and if they do not attend I cannot help it"

"I have read your paper in the Archaeological Transactions on the history of Langborough Abbey. It excited my imagination, which is never excited in reading ordinary histories. In your essay I am in company with the men who actually lived in the time of Henry the Second and Henry the Eighth. I went over the ruins again, and found them much more beautiful after I understood something about them."

"Yes: exactly what I have said a hundred times: knowledge is indispensable."

"If you had not pointed it out, I should never have noticed the Early English doorway in the Chapter-house, so distinct in style from the Refectory."

"You noticed the brackets of that doorway: you noticed the quatrefoils in the head? The Refectory is later by three centuries, and is exquisite, but is not equal to the Chapter-house."

"Yes, I noticed the brackets and quatrefoils particularly. If knowledge is not necessary in order that we may admire, its natural tendency is to deepen our admiration. Without it we pa.s.s over so much. In my own small way I have noticed how my slight botanical knowledge of flowers by the mere attention involved increases my wonder at their loveliness."

There was the usual interruption by the shop-bell. How he hated that bell! Mrs. Fairfax answered it, closing the parlour door. The customer was Mrs. Bingham.

"I will not disturb you now, Mrs. Fairfax. I was going to say something about the black tr.i.m.m.i.n.g you recommended. I really think red would suit me better, but, never mind, I will call again as I saw the Doctor come in. He is rather a frequent visitor."