Ozark Fantasy - Twelve Fair Kingdoms Part 12

"Can I have it?" demanded Boy Salem. The child was outrageous, and his brothers and sisters stared at him in amazement. Eben Nathaniel Lewis the 17th, twelve years old and already with a rigid

look to him like his father, turned that look on Boy Salem in a way

that would of frozen the child stiff if it'd had any power behind it.

"A Spelled creature like that, Boy Salem?" said Eben Nathaniel.

"Your head's addled!"

The Granny stepped over to my chair and took the lizard from me, which was a good deal more appropriate than letting Boy Salem have it for a pet, and a servingmaid slipped the bowl of soup away and replaced it with a fresh one, and handed me a new spoon.

Whereupon a small frog, same shade of green, croaked up at me

from among the vegetables. And I set the silverware down again.

If this was the beginning of an adventure, I didn't fancy it; there were quite a few nasty and downright dangerous things that would fit into a soup bowl.

"Keep changing the bowls," ordered Granny Twinsorrel, without a tremble to her voice, and we sat there while the process went on.

Bowl three, a much larger frog, darker green.

Bowl four, a skinny watersnake, banded in green and scarlet and gold, and about as long as my forearm.

Bowl five had a squawker in it, which was at least a change from the reptiles.

"Granny?"

"Hush, Rozasharn," said the woman; she was made of ice and steel, that one was, and she hadn't yet even bothered to behave like a Granny... certainly she'd yet to speak like one.

"You, young woman," she said, "just keep changing the bowls; and

you, Responsible, you keep taking the creatures out. We'll see how

this goes."

She stood at my left hand and I pa.s.sed her whatever I got with each bowl. I must say the children were fascinated, especially when, after the tenth move, the bowl itself suddenly grew larger.

The Granny made a small soft noise-not alarm, but it showed she'd taken notice-and Salem Sheridan Lewis set down his own spoon and spoke up.

"I don't like that," he said. "I don't like that atall."I didn't like it either, and I didn't know that I was going to like what came next in my alleged soup. There were several possibilities... it could go from harmless creatures to poisonous ones, and I moved back from the table enough to dodge if a snake that killed was to appear coiled up before me next. It could go to nasty creatures, along the line of the squawker, but dirtier-say, a carrion bird. Or it could go to things, and that left a wide lat.i.tude of choices."Responsible of Bright.w.a.ter," said Salem Sheridan, "put your spoon in that bowl-this has gone too far."

But Granny Twinsorrel raised her hand, her index finger up like a needle, and shook her head firmly."No, Salem Sheridan," she said, "we'll see it out awhile yet.""Responsible of Bright.w.a.ter is our guest!" Rozasharn of McDaniels protested.

"As were Halliday Joseph McDaniels the 14th and his wife and son, at Castle Bright.w.a.ter not too many days past," said the Granny."I am sorry about that," I said, keeping my eye on the soup bowl as I talked, "but I was truly not expecting mischief right in the middle of a Solemn Service. And I am sorry that yourall's supper is being spoiled on my account, I a.s.sure you."

"This is more fun than supper," said Boy Salem."This is more fun than a picnic," said Charlotte, and there was general agreement among the young ones. And I had to admit that from their point of view it was all very entertaining; no doubt they'd be pleased to have me back any time, even if it meant they all went hungry while I was there.

The ent.i.ty responsible for all this fooled us, next go-round. It was

neither a coiled poison-snake, nor a carrion bird, nor yet a loathsome mess of stuff mixed and coiled-another possibility- that gazed up at me. It made the children clap their hands, all but Eben Nathaniel, who was old enough to know better. And I felt Granny Twinsorrel's hand come down hard and grip my shoulder.

"Is it real, too?" breathed one of the little girls, before Boy Salem could put in his two cents' worth.

"Certainly not," said their big brother Eben Nathaniel with contempt "There's no such thing."

And the boy had it right. There was no such thing as a unicorn, not on Old Earth, not on Ozark, and what sat before me was only an illusion. But it was beautifully formed. About eleven inches high, not counting the gleaming single horn all fluted and spiraled, as pure white as new snow, with its flawless tiny hoofs delicately poised in the soup broth and its beautiful eyes perfectly serene, soup or no soup. It even had about its neck a tiny bridle of gold, with a

rosette of silver.

"That now," said Granny Twinsorrel, "you'll not touch! That's torn it. Just put your silver spoon in the bowl, Responsible of Bright.w.a.ter."

The children were crying out that that would kill it, and Rozasharn of McDaniels was rea.s.suring them that you can't kill what doesn't exist, and Salem Sheridan looked grimmer than a lot of large rocks I'd seen in my time.

Like a soapbubble, the instant my silver spoon touched the soup, the creature disappeared with an almost soundless pop. I sat there thinking, while Boy Salem-who had mightily wanted to keep the little unicorn, and I didn't blame him, I would of liked to have it my own self-was comforted. The Granny picked up the offending bowl and handed it to the servingmaid, who looked scared to death but managed to ask, "Shall I try again, then?"

"One minute," said the Granny. "Just keep your places and hold on.

I intend to have my supper this night, and have it in peace." She plunged her hand deep into her skirt pocket-which showed me she'd either been prepared for at least some of this or always went prepared, just in case-and pulled out wards enough to seal off a good-sized mansion. The noses of the children quivered some at the reek of the garlic, and I didn't blame them. I was sorry I dared not take off the smell... but we'd had scandal enough, I judged, for one evening. Garlic that didn't smell and worked nonetheless would have been an offense to decency, and we'd just have to put up with the current odiferous situation for the sake of the little ones.

When every door and window was properly warded the Granny

went back to her chair and sat down."Now," she said, "let us begin again, before we all starve and none of the food left's fit to eat. Let the soup be served, and give Responsible of Bright.w.a.ter a different bowl again, and put fresh hot broth in everybody else's."

"The Granny's put out," said the servingmaid in my ear, as if I couldn't of seen that for myself, and she set down a fresh bowl of soup at my place. Where it stayed soup, though I took my first bite gingerly. I had no interest in something like a mouthful of live worms and straight pins.

"Responsible of Bright.w.a.ter," said Salem Sheridan Lewis then, all of us sedately eating our soup, "because I approve of the Confederation of Continents, and because I despise mischief-not to mention treason-I approve of this Quest of yours. Our Granny has explained clear enough the manner in which it must be done and the reasoning behind it-and as I say, I approve. But I'll be right pleased when you are safely home again and we Families can go back to a normal way of life. Unlike Boy Salem there, I don't care for this sort of thing... it stinks of evil as well as the garlic."

Another apology seemed in order, and I made it, but he waved it

aside.

"You're doing what's necessary," he said, "and from what we've heard-and seen!-it hasn't been pleasant for you so far. No need for you to be sorry for doing your plain duty."

Rozasharn of McDaniels paused between two bites and looked at

Granny Twinsorrel.

"Granny," she asked, "is Responsible in any danger? Any real danger, I mean, not just folderols like this exhibition at my table?"

"Don't ask, Rozasharn," said Granny, "you'll only rattle cages. Just

eat your supper."

"There's berry pie," somebody said, and I was glad to hear it. It

would take more than a few creepy-crawlies in broth to spoil my pleasure in berry pie."What I won't do," Salem Sheridan Lewis went on, as if nothing had been said in between, "is have any celebration of all this. It does

not strike me as seemly in any way, and I won't have it."

"But, my dear-" Rozasharn began, or tried to begin; he went right on without so much as pausing.

"I know the conditions," he said. "I know there must be some mark of your visit, and I'll not interfere with the course of things by denying you that. But it will not be a playparty, or a festivity, or a hunt-nothing that implies I enjoy or condone such devilment as we've just watched. Tomorrow morning, after an ordinary breakfast-properly warded, if you please, Granny Twinsorrel, and no frogs in the gravy for my breakfast biscuits, thank you!-after a perfectly ordinary breakfast, we will have a parade. A solemn, I might say a dignified, parade. Three times round the Castle, three times round the town, with Responsible riding between me and Rozasharn. That satisfactory, Responsible of Bright.w.a.ter?"

"Quite satisfactory," I said. "But I'd like to put in a word."

"Go right to it."

"I understand your feeling about what happened just now, but I'm

not at all sure that it's got anything to do with wickedness."

What I meant was that I was a lot more convinced that I could lay all this to Granny Golightly and her Magician of Rank hotting up my Quest for me than to the traitor behind the misuse of magic on Bright.w.a.ter. But Salem Sheridan Lewis was not interested in my opinions.

"Magic," he said, looking at me like a bug on a pin beneath his gaze, "is for certain purposes. Crops. Healing. Weather. Dire peril. Naming. It is not for the usage we saw it given at this table, and I'll have in the Reverend and the Granny both as soon as you're gone to clean out the last trace of it. I have no trouble atall recognizing sin when I see it, young woman."

I held my tongue."Now," he went on, "this parade. Well begin at seven sharp, and anybody not there on the mark will be left behind. Is that clear? Not to mention what will happen to any such person when we get back- I want our support set out unmistakable for all to see, and be done with it."

"You stand for the Confederation, then?" I asked, while the berry

pie was being handed round. It might not of been necessary, but I