Outsider Series: Outsider Part 28

"How come I feel like we're supposed to save the world?"

He chuckled. "This isn't a comic book."

"It kind of feels like it," I said.

"It does doesn't it?" he agreed.

Time ticked by and lunch came along. We made sandwiches and ate in the kitchen. After, we cleaned up and headed to his room. He collapsed into a bean bag and sighed. "At least it's not as cold as it usually is in January," he commented.

"That's true," I said. It was an unseasonably warm day today. I hoped the temperature didn't suddenly decide to drop tonight. I didn't want my shift to take place in the freezing cold. "Caeden?" I asked. "How is this going to work? How do I go all wolf?"

He motioned for me to sit in the other bean bag and I collapsed into its air beads. It made a scratchy noise as the beads moved around to accommodate me. "The first shift is the only one we don't control. The moon calls to the beast in you and you can't resist it. It's instinctual. You don't actually have to do anything. Your body takes over for your mind."

"I don't know if I want my body to take over my mind," I said.

He chuckled. "We don't have any say in the matter. Whatever magic it is that we possess that makes us turn takes over."

"Magic," I breathed.

"You'll see," he said. "When you change it's like magic. Once the pain is gone it's the best feeling in the world. You feel unstoppable. It's freeing. You'll love it. The unknown it what's scaring you. Don't let it."

He had me pegged. There was no avoiding it. I hated the unknown. Not knowing something made me feel blind and I didn't like it for one second. Caeden and the whole pack had grown up with the knowledge of what they were. I had been kept in the dark. True, it was for my own safety as well as my parents but that didn't make it okay. I had deserved the right to know that I wasn't exactly human. Now, my full moon was here and my beast was going to emerge. I got the feeling from Caeden and the others that they weren't exactly allowed to discuss the transformation. Not just with me but with each other. Like it was taboo to know about what to expect.

Caeden leaned across and took my small hand in his larger one. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "It'll be okay Sophie. You're not going to go through this alone. I'm going to be there to talk you through it. You have nothing to be afraid of. I promise. I'm sorry I can't tell you more but we're really not allowed to discuss it. It's a very personal experience it and the council really doesn't want us to discuss it with other first time shifters. We're only allowed to give words of encouragement."

"But you're going to be with me," I said, "you're going to see me got through it. I don't see why you can't tell me. It doesn't seem fair."

"It doesn't seem fair to me either. But that's the way it is. Before we change we're only allowed to know the jist of it."

I huffed and pouted my lips like a four year old but I couldn't help it. It was completely unfair to have to go into this whole thing blind. I felt like all I knew was that tonight at midnight I was going to turn into a wolf, it was going to hurt, and Caeden was going to be with me. It wasn't a lot to go on.

Caeden sighed and leaned back in the bean bag. The air beads crunched with the movement. He rested his hands on his knees. "I'm sorry I can't tell you more. But tonight I'll be there to talk you through it. I'll coach you as best I can."

"I guess that's as good as I'm going to get," I said with a small smile.

He laughed. "Yeah, it is."

"I'm sorry if I'm bothering you," I said.

He chuckled. "You're not. I just about drove my dad crazy just before my own change. I was scared to death. But he told me the same things I've told you. Except for the part where I'll be with you."

I rubbed his hand more to calm myself than to do any soothing of him. My mind was on overload. For the past couple of months I had been able to ignore the fact that I was going to turn into a wolf. But now the day was here and I wanted to run in the other direction. I felt like that if I pretended this day wouldn't happen then it would magically disappear. But the only magic in the world that existed was the magic that was going to turn me into a wolf.

Once I got over the initial shock of Caeden and the others being wolves it didn't bother me. I thought Caeden was beautiful as a wolf. But for some reason I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I was going to be this beautiful, majestic, creature too. It just didn't make sense. With the others I could see their wolf shimmering behind their eyes. But with me? I looked in the mirror and saw just plain, old, perfectly normal, brown-eyed, Sophie. Nothing more, nothing less. I could see power in the others but I saw no power in myself. I was a weak, pathetic, human.

What if I didn't change?

As much as I was afraid of the actual changing part I was even more afraid of not changing. What if there was something wrong with me? What if I was defective?

"Sophie, are you okay?" asked Caeden.

"Mmhmm. I'm fine," I murmured.

He looked at me suspiciously. Those blue eyes told me that clearly he knew that I wasn't but he didn't push me to be honest. I was thankful for it. I needed time to sort things out in my head. My hours as a human were dwindling into the single digits. Tonight I would become a wolf. Tonight I would bond forever with my mate. Change was thick in the air like toxic syrup.

eighteen.

"Alright," said Caeden standing up from the bean bag and stretching his long legs.

"Alright what?" I asked.

"It's time to go," he said.

"It's not dark yet," I commented.

"Thanks I hadn't noticed," he said. He smiled. "Don't worry I have a plan. I want to make tonight as special as I can since we weren't able to do anything fun today."

"Should I be afraid?" I asked.

"Very," he said.

"I'm in," I said. He smirked and pulled me up from the lump on the floor that once resembled a bean bag.

He took my hand and led me towards to Bryce's room. He knocked on his little brothers door. "Come in," said Bryce.

Caeden pushed the door open. The first thing I noticed about Bryce's room was that it was green. The next thing I noticed was that it was a mess. I had been taking Caeden's neat-freakiness for granted. Clothes, shoes, soda cans, and food wrappers littered the floor to the point that there was no floor. Caeden glanced back at me with an apology written on his face. Bryce was sitting on his bed with some kind of game controller in his hands. The sound of gun shots rang through the room.

"What can I help you with?" asked Bryce never taking his eyes away from the screen that his game was playing on.

"I need the keys to your Jeep," said Caeden.

"Her name is Stella," said Bryce pulling out a chain of keys from his pocket. He tossed the keys in Caeden's direction. "Take care of her," said Bryce waving us away.

Caeden chuckled and closed Bryce's door.

"Where are we going?" I asked as Caeden led me down the winding staircase to the main floor.

"The woods," he answered. "That's why I needed Bryce's Jeep."

"The woods," I repeated.

"Yep, come on," he said taking my hand and leading me out to the garage after we stopped to bundle up and put our shoes on. We climbed into the old green Jeep. It croaked shakily to life. He backed out of the garage but instead of heading towards the gate he veered to the left and down an unmarked, nearly invisible, road. The car b.u.mped along and I worried that my head might hit the ceiling if we hit a b.u.mp to hard. I held on for dear life but Caeden was clearly enjoying himself. I thought it was a miracle that good ole Stella didn't lose her balance. I worried that I might get sick with all the bouncing that was going on. There seemed to be no real road that Caeden followed. He just drove and tried to avoid the trees while I tried to not squish my eyes shut and scream.

We drove for about an hour before he stopped the car.

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

"Fine," I mumbled.

"You're green," he said.

"Really? No wonder with all the b.u.mping that was going on," I replied. I opened the door of the Jeep and jumped out. I inhaled the crisp, clean, air like my life depended on it. Which I guess it did. Slowly, I began to feel my head clear.

"Better?" he asked.

"Give me another minute," I said.

"Sit with your head between your knees," he said and guided me towards a stump of a tree.

I ducked my head between my knees and sighed. "That is better," I commented taking a couple more deep breaths. Air flowed freely through my lungs clearing away the remaining nausea. A small brown rabbit scuttled by my feet. It was completely unafraid of me and Caeden. It stopped and twitched its small pink nose at me. I smiled at the critter as it scampered away. Satisfied that I wasn't going to get sick I sat up. Caeden was leaning against a tree watching me. I blushed. "Sorry," I said. "I don't have much of a stomach."

"It's okay," he said. "I'm used to rough terrain. I should have warned you."

He held out his hand and helped me up from the stump. He pulled me against his chest and held me for a moment.

"You're really going to hate me in a second," he said.

"Why?" I questioned, leery of his answer.

"We have to hike from here," he said with a sheepish glance.

I smacked his arm. "You know I suck at that kind of stuff," I said. "I can't even stay upright on a treadmill and that's flat," I cried.

He chuckled. "That was only because you were distracted by my amazing abs," he said patting his stomach. I smacked his arm again. "Ow," he said rubbing the spot.

"You better lead the way," I said, "if you want me to make it to wherever it is we're going before I go all wolf on you."

He laughed and took my hand again. "Don't worry. It's not that far. About a mile," he said.

"A mile!" I scoffed. "This isn't gym cla.s.s!"

He tugged on my hand so I would trudge along. Which I did; albeit grudgingly.

The terrain wasn't too hard to trek but I did fall a couple of times. Sc.r.a.pes littered the palms of my hands and the skin of my knees. Caeden a.s.sured me that when I shifted they would heal. Finally, Caeden held back a branch and we broke into a clearing.

I gasped.

Sunset was descending on the sky and the pinks, oranges, and gold turned the clearing into a place of majesty. The skeletal lines of the trees were far from menacing when they were hit with this light. The leaves that crunched beneath my feet were bathed in a shimmering gold. And in the middle of it all was the most spectacular sight I had ever seen. A waterfall fell soundly into the clearing. The roaring of the water filled my ears with a comforting sound.

The water rushed down into a river. It was cold enough that diamond icicles had formed and were glowing in the waning sunlight. Trickles of water dripped off of the icicles as they slowly melted. The affect was breathtaking.

"This is so beautiful," I gasped.

Caeden grinned and his dimple peaked out to greet me like an old friend. "I thought it might make tonight more tolerable if you were able to experience it somewhere beautiful."

"How did you find this place?" I asked in complete awe as I turned in circles to take it in.

"I was out exploring one day and heard the roar of the water. I came to investigate and found this. It's amazing what Mother Nature can accomplish when she goes untouched by humans," he said entwining our hands together. "Come on," he said pulling me to the back of the waterfall. "I have something else to show you."

I couldn't help but let his excitement rub off on me. It was contagious. He brushed away some broken branches of a bush and motioned me ahead of him. I could see that he was leading me into some kind of cave. I had to get down on my hands and knees and duck my head to make it through the narrow opening. It was a tight squeeze and an even tighter one for Caeden. I could feel the rock pressing against my sides and my claustrophobia began to kick in. I inhaled deeply with my nose and exhaled with my mouth. It was pitch black and I couldn't see anything but I trusted Caeden with my life so I kept going.

A gush of air breezed across my face and I inhaled it hungrily. I still couldn't see anything but there weren't any rocks pressing against my sides anymore. I felt Caeden move past me and it sounded like he was walking. I lifted my hand up to see if my fingers would skim rock. When they met blissful nothingness I hesitantly stood up.

I heard a click and then the cave was filled with a bright yellow light. Another click and another light joined the first. My eyes began to gradually adjust to the sudden light. Caeden came back to stand beside me and took my hand.

One more blink and my vision cleared.

Stalagmites surrounded us and I could see water running down their sides. The ceiling surged above us. I looked up and was almost lost in its depths. The lanterns created a yellow glow over the whole place. For some reason the walls seemed to glow deep blues and purples, oranges and red. I felt like I was inside a jewelry box. Various mosses were growing on the rock walls adding green to rainbow of colors. Even through the rock walls I could still hear the roaring of the waterfall. With a gasp I realized that we must be inside the waterfall.

In the corner were plastic bins filled with various objects. It looked like food, clothes, and maybe a couple of sleeping bags.

"How did you find this place?" I asked; my eyes finally settling on Caeden although it was hard to keep them from wandering and taking in the simple majesty of this place.

He chuckled. "Just like I did the waterfall. I stumbled upon it. I thought it was beautiful. Untouched," he said.

I sat down on a natural ledge and patted the s.p.a.ce next to me for Caeden to join me. I looked back up and the ceiling and saw a sliver of night sky. Inky blue-black was replacing the earlier gold's, oranges, and pinks. My wolf was getting closer to being released.

"Are you okay?" asked Caeden. Obviously he had picked up on where my thoughts were taking me.

I swallowed and turned to look at him. Even in the terrible light that the lanterns provided I could still see the glow of his blue eyes. I traced the contours of his face with the palm of my hand. The scruff of his stubble rasped against my hand creating a pleasant burn.

"I'm fine," I said. "How many times are you going to ask me that?"

Caeden grinned. "Before the night's over or for the rest of your life?" he countered.

"Both?" I smiled.

"A lot," he answered.

I leaned my head against his shoulder. "Can we get this show on the road?" I asked with a laugh already knowing his answer.

"No," he sighed. "We must wait for the moon. In the meantime," he said jumping down from the ledge and moving over to the clear plastic bins, "I made us a picnic."

"A picnic?" I asked hopping down from the ledge as well. His hand snaked out to steady me when I teetered.

He popped off the blue lid and set it aside. "Yeah," he said. "I brought all this out earlier. I wanted tonight to be special. It should be something that you look back and remember with a smile," he said pulling out gla.s.s containers of food.

"You're so sweet," I said and meant it. Not many boys would think to do something like this, to make tonight easier on me. But Caeden wasn't most boys.

He smiled up at me and gently stroked my cheek with his thumb. "I love you," he whispered.

I sighed at his words. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing you say that," I said.

"I certainly hope not," he said. "Because I plan on telling you every day for the rest of our lives," he said and kissed me. His lips were warm and firm against mine. My hands snaked around his neck holding him closer. He chuckled and pulled away. "There will be plenty of time for that later," he said. "But now we eat." He popped the lid off of a pasta dish, stuck a fork in it, and handed it to me. "Sorry, it's cold but there's no electrical outlets down here for a microwave," he joked I sniffed it hesitantly. The smells of basil, garlic, and rosemary engulfed my lungs. It smelled heavenly. Caeden twirled his own pasta around on a fork and waited for me to take the first bite. I slid the noodles in my mouth making a very undignified slurping noise in the process.

"Mmm," I said. "This is really good." I twirled another bite around and promptly stuck it in my mouth.