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Clarice sighed and gave a look to Trudy. "If you get me a real G.o.dd.a.m.n drink, I'll tell you everything."
The girls left the pool and found a quiet corner of the poolside to camp out in their own comfy davenports. Sophie and Liz returned alone to the bartender and ordered enough drinks for their whole party without telling the bartender Clarice was with them. Clarice happily took the shots of rum, and a few big gulps of the heavy blue drink, before she looked up and saw them gathered around, waiting for her to spill her guts.
"What all has Trudy told you?" asked Clarice.
"Duh, everything she knows," said Sophie with an eye roll and a sip of her drink. "You're playing pretend fiancee to that gorgeous British stud while his parents are visiting and you're getting a sweet payday to do it."
"Right," said Clarice. "Harrison."
"Such a babe," said Liz to Trudy, who nodded heartily.
Sophie put a hand on Clarice's knee. "So what's wrong? Is the plan not working?"
"No, it's... it's working grandly," said Clarice with a harsh voice. "That's the problem."
"I don't follow, sweetheart."
Trudy started laughing, her eyes to the sky. "Oh my lord, Clarice Blackburn. Are you telling us what I think you're trying to tell us?"
Of course Trudy understood what was happening, Clarice thought. She always could see through Clarice like she was made of silk. "What is it you think I'm trying to tell you?"
"Don't you play coy now," said Trudy.
"Wait, wait, so are you really pregnant or what?" interrupted Liz.
"No, of course I'm not pregnant," said Clarice with a dramatic gesture to her alcoholic drink. "I'm also not a monster. The pregnancy thing is... was part of the ruse. Harrison told his parents at the dinner last night that I was pregnant, and he didn't warn me he was going to do it first. I almost wrecked the whole thing, I was so furious at him. It was such a dumba.s.s move. He's jeopardized the whole plan, now."
"Why the h.e.l.l did he do that?" asked Trudy.
Clarice sighed. "I honestly don't know, Trude. One minute, we were out on the dance floor having a fine time. Then Harrison got all weird and upset, and excused himself to the men's room. And when he came back, he just... blurted it out that I was pregnant with their grandchild."
"Nice," said Liz with an eye roll. "It's like men never think ahead."
"What did you do?" asked Sophie.
"The Moores were so G.o.dd.a.m.n happy, and we were in a room full of cheering people, what was I supposed to do? I just stood there like an idiot as his mother rubbed my stomach, trying to swallow my anger so that no one knew anything was wrong. Then I b.i.t.c.hed out Harrison back in the room." She shook her head and took a deep drink of the blue stuff. The feeling of alcohol warming her muscles was a welcome change from the tension of the last twelve hours.
"That's intense," said Liz.
"I think this has gotten away from you, hun," said Trudy.
"What do you mean?"
Trudy sat down on the thick arm of the chair Clarice sat in and put an arm around her shoulders. "Are you really going to pretend you don't see what's going on here?"
Some part of her heart clenched up at Trudy's words; some part of her heart that was afraid of the truth. Clarice swallowed and blinked at her friend.
"I'm not pretending, I really don't see what's going on here," said Sophie.
Liz suddenly softened and let out compa.s.sionate coo. "Oh, no... Clarice, you're in love with him, aren't you?"
Hearing it out loud was too much. Tears welled in Clarice's eyes before she could do anything to stop it, and she started to sob uncontrollably. Trudy scooted her over so she could wrap her arms around her best friend, while Liz and Sophie slid closer to create a circle to block her emotional moment from the prying eyes of the other guests. The girls let her cry until she didn't have any more tears left.
Clarice leaned against Trudy's shoulder, her eyes puffy and swollen. "Man, I sure am a fun vacation guest."
"Hey, this has hands down been the craziest, most fun vacation I've ever been on," said Liz. "You didn't do a d.a.m.n thing to wreck that."
"We're just worried about you, sweetheart," said Sophie. "You're supposed to go home feeling better, not worse."
"I know," sniffled Clarice. "I feel like such an idiot. I should have known better than to think I could just... pretend to do something like this. Not with Harrison. He's not the man I thought he was when we first got here."
"What do you mean?" said Trudy.
"He's a good man. He's kind and decent and sweet... when we're together, it's like he can't keep himself away from me. He genuinely likes me, you guys, in a way I've never felt before. In fact, Harrison makes my past boyfriends seem like they didn't enjoy me at all. Like I was just someone to pa.s.s the time and f.u.c.k, someone to keep them from being lonely. Harrison doesn't treat me like that and I don't..." She could feel her emotions rising again, and the tears coming with them. "I don't want to leave him. I love him."
"Honey," said Trudy with a hug.
Sophie sniffled, a few tears popping out of her blue eyes. "That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard."
"But he acted like a total d.i.c.k last night," reminded Liz. "You have to be able to trust the man you're with, Clarice, and Harrison broke your trust last night by leaving you out to dry with that pregnancy lie."
Clarice shook her head. "You're not wrong, Liz. And I told him that. Trust me, I told him very hard. But... but he was so immediately apologetic. He didn't even try to make an excuse for it. He said he just got upset during our dance and it was like something came over him he couldn't stop."
"Upset about what?" asked Trudy.
"I don't know," said Clarice. "We were just dancing, talking about things. I told him it was going to be weird to take the engagement ring off because I was getting used to its weight, and that's when he left to go to the men's room."
Trudy shared a look with Liz. "Clarice, c'mon. Isn't this obvious? Harrison is totally devastated that you're leaving and he acted out."
"Be serious," said Clarice, wiping tears from her face.
"I am being serious," said Trudy. "You make a comment about how this little fairy tale is about to blow up, and Harrison basically runs off, and then comes back and makes an impulsive emotional decision like that?"
"Textbook," agreed Liz. "Adults throw tantrums much the same way as children, if you know what to look for."
"You guys are just trying to make me feel less pathetic," said Clarice.
"We wouldn't lie to you about this, hun, especially not when you're in such misery," said Trudy. "Just think about it with that big brain of yours. I think if you're honest with yourself, you'll see that maybe you're not the only one struggling with unexpected feelings."
Clarice didn't want to hear the truth of what Trudy was saying, not at that moment. Even though it made her heart soar to imagine, she was still far too fragile and unsure to just fall into this fantasy that Harrison Moore, of all men, was emotionally wrecked over her. It didn't seem possible that any woman could wreck a man like Harrison.
"I don't know what to do, guys," said Clarice in a tired voice. "That Harrison had to make his outburst about a baby, of all things... it's like this whole thing is one big cosmic joke being played on me."
"What's that mean?" asked Sophie.
Clarice hesitated. "When Tanner left, and I told you guys that it was because he cheated, that wasn't... it wasn't entirely true. I was too humiliated to tell you the full truth. He hadn't been unfaithful yet-though there were certainly signs it was headed that way. What broke us was that Tanner suddenly told me one day that he didn't want to have kids, ever. He used to see a future for it, or at least not shut it down, but I guess... I guess that changed."
"Oh, sweetheart," said Sophie.
"I couldn't stay with him after that because I wasn't going to close that possibility off," said Clarice. "I don't know what kind of mom I would be, if I ever was one, but I wasn't ready to just say no to that life forever. So I had to break it off."
"Honey, I can't imagine how difficult that had to be for you," said Trudy, tightening her embrace. "Tanner was a useless man. You are far better off without him."
"I know. I am," said Clarice. "But now I'm out of the frying pan and into the fire. I have no idea what to do about Harrison. The thought of just getting on that plane back for New York and never seeing him again..." She shut her eyes and shook her head like she was going to be sick. "I can't do it. G.o.dd.a.m.n me, I can't do it. I don't know if Harrison's faking his feelings for me or not, but... I know that even though I was furious at him, I was also overwhelmed with grat.i.tude that Harrison would be so willing-excited, even-about having a child with me."
The girls exchanged glances that were filled with many emotions, chiefly among them love and worry.
"Clarice," said Trudy. "Look, I'm going to tell you something, even though part of me is extremely against the idea of what might happen if I do."
Clarice sniffled and met her best friend's gaze. "What?"
She looked at Liz and Sophie, and said, "We have never seen you so happy as you have been here. We can all see it on you. Even when Harrison's not around, it's like he's just... infected you with sunshine. You look like you're in high school all over again."
"It's nauseating, if I'm being honest," added Liz with a smirk.
Clarice raised an eyebrow. "What are you saying?"
Trudy shrugged. "Maybe none of this is a bad thing, hun. If Harrison makes you so happy that you don't want to leave this place... and if you make him so happy that he can't stand the thought of losing you, either... maybe it's time you guys admitted that and see what happens."
Clarice instantly shook her head. "This isn't a G.o.dd.a.m.n movie; I can't just run off with a suave rich guy. There's no way this is happening. This is just a sick joke."
"That's loser talk," said Liz. "And you are not a loser."
"Remember when we were in high school and they wouldn't let girls try out for the wrestling team, and you gathered all that attention and support until they did?" said Sophie. "That's a movie plot, right there, Clarice."
"Or that one weekend in the city when we ran into Chaz Mercury at the Snakebite Club, and spent the whole weekend drinking on his tour bus?" said Liz with raised eyebrows and a smile. "That's definitely a movie plot."
"Crazier s.h.i.t has happened," agreed Trudy. "The world is a weird, weird place. But you know G.o.dd.a.m.n well that you are a catch of a woman, and it makes perfect sense to the three of us why Harrison's head over heels for you. Would it be the end of the world if you believed it, too?"
18.
Harrison
Harrison spent the next day alone, without even bothering to try and contact Clarice. He knew she was furious at him, and he didn't want to make things worse by encroaching on her s.p.a.ce. But he would be lying if he didn't admit it was torture for him. All he wanted was to have her back in his arms, and kiss her smiling lips again. He made excuses to his parents about her needing a day in bed to rest, and they were all too happy to provide it. His father took a helicopter to Denpasar to conduct some business, and his mother said she would likely take a spa day to herself.
The first thing he did when he woke up was. .h.i.t the waves. Sharks were sometimes a problem in the early morning hours, but he didn't give a s.h.i.t. Secretly, he almost hoped one tried to make a meal out of him. Either it would kill him and end this d.a.m.n misery, or he would get to take down a predator with his bare hands, and something about that felt oddly satisfying at the moment.
As the afternoon ticked by, and he had still not heard from her, his mood continued to sink. Desperate to make it up to her, Harrison scoured every single d.a.m.n shop on the resort, and a few on the other side of the island, and he still couldn't find anything that he thought would help demonstrate how sorry he was for his mistake. Not a single thing felt good enough to give to Clarice to make up for how stupid he acted.
He had replayed that moment over and over in his mind ever since it happened, because something about it felt like the end of the world; like the floor was falling out from underneath his life and he was hanging on to the cliff's edge by his fingernails, delaying the inevitable plunge. That was what the whole outburst had really been, hadn't it? Some pathetic attempt at wielding control over a situation he never controlled to begin with. He acted out like a toddler and even now the thought of it embarra.s.sed him.
Harrison took the long route back to the resort after striking out in town, letting the hot sun and wind bake his face from the open top of his convertible. He took the winding beach curves faster than he probably should have, and made a few dangerous pa.s.ses of tourist busses in hasty petulance. When he realized he was behaving like a sullen teen, he let off the gas pedal and sighed to himself.
Even with paradise in his eyes, all he could see was Clarice, beaming like a G.o.ddess in her beautiful gold dress; the happy faces of his parents when he told them they were expecting their first grandchild; and the imaginary years ahead, a life with Clarice and their child, a reality that was never supposed to be. But it was the only one Harrison wanted now.
He should be happy, he knew. His plan had worked, and his parents would leave without knowing how much of a screw up he really was. His father would return home to England, and a few more lies in the coming months would explain away Clarice's absence as an unfortunate split. Or would have, if he hadn't added the baby into the mix. Clarice was right. It would be a lot harder to explain the split with a pregnancy added to the mix. But he really couldn't even think about that anymore. The plan's success, or failure, no longer mattered. His goals had completely changed.
He wanted Clarice to stay. He wanted something real for once in his d.a.m.n life. And maybe the outburst in the ballroom was his heart trying to get him to admit it.
Harrison had always been an imaginative person, and even now, he could see it all in a daydream: a future with Clarice, running the resort; watching her glowing and pregnant on the white glittering sand; teaching his son how to surf as soon as he could walk; making sure Clarice never wanted for anything again in her life. That was what this was all for, wasn't it? Was he just going to drink and party his wealth away, or was he going to use it for something worthwhile?
He finally knew what he needed to do. Harrison scrambled for his phone as he drove and used the voice command to call the front desk, hoping Bruce was on duty.
His prayers were answered. "Front desk, this is Bruce. What can I help you with?"
"It's me," said Harrison. "Listen, are you busy?"
"Hey!" said Bruce happily. "Nope, not at the moment. What's up?"
"I need you to find my father-have him paged if you can't get him by phone. Tell him to meet me in my office in ten minutes. There's something important we need to discuss."
For once, it was Harrison who kept his father waiting. Had it been any other day, he would have been abjectly terrified of the consequences, but as he took hard steps from the resort parking lot to the staff offices, Harrison realized he didn't feel an ounce of fear anymore. It was like he had crossed a threshold into a different, brighter world.
Head high and shoulders squared, Harrison came into his office to find his father George picking impatiently at the trinkets stacked on his tall curio cabinet. He didn't turn when Harrison entered.
"You're late. You said ten minutes."
Harrison refused to take the bait. It was suddenly so obvious to notice, he wondered how stupid he had been to fall for it all these years. "Father, sit down, please," he said with a gesture.
George turned, surprised, clearly not expecting the resistance. After just a moment's hesitation, he obliged and took a seat at Harrison's desk, hiking one ankle up onto his knee. He checked his watch and said, "Weatherman says a storm is headed this way. Do they often ground flights? Your mother is insistent we depart in the morning on schedule."
Harrison sat across from his father in the opposite chair, and again ignored George's attempts at controlling the conversation. "I have something I have to tell you, father."
"Where's Clarice?" asked George. "You must make sure she is there to see us off."
"Father, listen to me," said Harrison in a firm, loud voice. "Stop interrupting and listen to me."
George's face fell, stunned silent. There was a dark anger brewing behind his eyes that Harrison recognized, but it didn't faze him now.
"Father, I haven't been honest with you," said Harrison. "And I want to be honest now. When I sent you that email last week, I was lying. I got too drunk; I don't even recall writing it. I woke up the next morning and was too afraid to tell you the truth when you said you were flying out to meet my wife."
The room built with tension as George absorbed his son's words. He didn't interrupt, but his silence was just as upsetting.
Harrison continued. "I'm sorry, father. I know you must be disappointed, but I had to be honest with you."
"And Clarice?" said George, his voice cracking. He couldn't look at his son. "What is she, then? Just a girlfriend?"