Out Of Love Part 37

"But there wasn't any damage. That's what matters. And I'll call Dr. Marshall today."

Cathy stood up. "Let's call her right now and get you on the schedule."

"Fine." It was good to get this done. Judith would be happy to hear it, and it might even convince her to change her mind about coming to Chicago this weekend. She busied herself with the finishing touches on the San Diego report while Cathy made the arrangements from the phone next to the couch.

"Thursday at nine o'clock. And she wants you fasting."

"My blood pressure should like that."

"So what are you going to do about Art Conover?"

The name alone was enough to send her stomach roiling. "I had a conference call with Lenore and Kristy when I got home last night. They've been working on a business model for a quarterly study, which will save us two-thirds of the field costs."

"Won't we lose all the big clients doing monthly ad buys?"

254.

"Maybe not. They might sign up for Art's service, but if they want custom work, they're going to have to subscribe to ours too."

"And a quarterly service gets our price under Art's."

"Right. So he might pick up a few clients, but we'll still own the sector."

"How much revenue do we drop?"

"A s.h.i.tload. But we make up forty percent when we launch the time-share stream. That will keep us in the game. I can't imagine Art's going for that sector too."

"And there's no other way to stop this?"

Carmen shrugged. "We can fight him off for a while, but eventually, all of our clients will probably shop at Art-Mart."

Cathy looked at her dubiously. "How come you're taking this so well?"

"It's not like I can fight it. We'll have to look for other expansion opportunities. Asia's a good bet, and Australia ought to be right behind." She got up and walked around her desk to sit in the wingback chair. "Can I talk to you about something else?"

"Since when do you have to ask a question like that?"

"I mostly just need to vent. I'm not really looking for advice . . ."

"Noted. So is this going to be about Brooke or Judith?"

"Both."

"Have you talked to Brooke yet?"

"She hasn't returned any of my calls. All I got was that message last week canceling dinner."

"Does that have anything to do with why your chest is hurting?"

"Maybe some." Carmen absently rubbed a palm across her sternum. "She's never pulled away from me like this before."

"You want me to talk to her?"

"No." She felt certain none of their friends could fix this, especially since Brooke admitted she didn't really trust anyone but Carmen. "I'm sure we'll talk whenever she's ready. There's 255 no real point in trying before then."

"Except that it's bothering you. And I don't mind telling her that. One of these days, she needs to realize she's not the center of the-"

"I don't want you to talk to her, Cathy. I need to do it on my own. She's already embarra.s.sed about everything, and so am I."

"Which brings us to Judith."

"Judith." She leaned forward and ran both hands through her hair. "I'm so crazy in love with that woman I can't stand myself."

Cathy laughed. "That's great. I wouldn't mind seeing more of the two of you together."

"The together part . . . that's not so easy." Carmen couldn't bring herself to share the laugh. After seeing Judith with her family yesterday, it was clear she could never leave New York.

"This going back and forth is hard."

"Will Judith consider moving here?"

"I can't ask her to do that. Did I tell you I met her brother yesterday? And her mother too."

"So what? She met your mother and father too. She knows you're close to your family."

"Yeah, but I can leave my family and they'll be okay. That's not true for Judith."

"But Judith doesn't have a dozen employees in New York."

Carmen sighed and leaned back. Her chest was starting to tighten up, but letting Cathy know that right now was out of the question. "That's pretty much why I've been thinking about her so much . . . because I can't figure out how we're going to fix this distance thing."

"Is it bothering you?"

"Having her here might make all the rest of it manageable."

What she feared most-but wouldn't say-was that not having Judith with her might be more stress than her body could stand.

256.

Judith scrolled down the screen, checking the results of her search. The cheapest flight to Chicago was over four hundred dollars, and the only return flight that would get her home in time to pick up Victor left at six a.m. on Sunday. That pretty much buried any notions of surprising Carmen tomorrow night, though she knew if she put the bug in Carmen's ear she would find an electronic ticket in her inbox within minutes.

It was just as well, she thought. All of the arguments about Carmen needing some time to relax alone with Prissy were still valid. But four days into their first week apart, she was already missing her so badly she was ready to cave.

It was a miserable feeling, but she never wanted their time apart to be easy. If either of them began to take it in stride, it would mark the beginning of the end. So she had to be miserable in order to be happy. It seemed as though her whole d.a.m.n life was filled with that sort of convoluted logic.

Her cell phone chirped faintly in her purse. A quick check revealed an unfamiliar Chicago number. Carmen usually called around lunchtime when she knew they could talk.

"h.e.l.lo." It was Lenore Yates. She knew all about Carmen's vice president, but they had never met. It was curious that she would call-"She did what?"

Immediately she stood up and looked across the top of her cubicle to Todd's office.

"Where are they taking her?"

Her hands shaking, she grabbed her mouse and shut down her computer. Then she opened her top drawer and raked everything on her desk into it.

"And Cathy's with her?"

She slung her purse over her shoulder.

"Please tell Cathy I'm on the way. And tell Carmen I'll be there as soon as I can."

257.

"They're taking care of me, Mom," Carmen said, holding out her free hand for a squeeze. Her other was attached to an IV that kept her hydrated. The leads from her chest fed a steady blip on a digital display, along with the cuff that inflated automatically to monitor her blood pressure. "Dr. Marshall thinks we can fix this with some beta blockers."

"Your brother Chris thinks you ought to consider bypa.s.s,"

her father said. "I'm inclined to agree."

"That's because you're both surgeons and you like to cut."

She stuck her tongue out, which prompted her father to smirk.

"It's not blocked, so Dr. Marshall wants to-"

"It's not blocked yet."

"Joe, you know better than to interfere with what her doctor is telling her. This is between them."

Carmen was glad for her mother's support.

"Besides, I bet her new friend Judith will make her take better care of herself. She's coming tonight, right?"

"Yeah, Cathy went to pick her up at O'Hare. She should be getting here any minute."

"And you think they'll let you out of here tomorrow?" her father asked.

"That's what Dr. Marshall said. She just wants-"

"Can anybody come to this party?"

For an instant, Carmen thought it was Judith in the doorway, but she quickly realized her mistake. She had given up on Brooke coming, since Cathy had left her a message over six hours ago.

She watched as her parents greeted her friend with the usual hugs and smiles. If anything was amiss with Brooke, she was hiding it well.

"How are you, honey?" She bent to give Carmen a light hug.

"It looks scarier than it is, just a little stress attack. I'm glad you came."

"That teenager of mine only remembered an hour ago to give me an urgent message."

258.

So that's why she hadn't come sooner. It wasn't that she didn't care.

"I've been on the phone with Cathy ever since I heard. She said you had a catheterization and they found a bad spot."

"Just a little one. It's going to be okay. Dad wants them to cut me open and tear it all out, but you know how he is."

Her parents gathered their things to leave and said good-bye.

"I'll call you tomorrow from home," Carmen called as they walked out. "Don't worry about anything."

Brooke came to sit beside her on the bed, looking as if she might cry at any moment.

Carmen took her hand. "See what I have to do for a little attention from you?"

"Don't you dare joke about this. You scared the s.h.i.t out of me."

"I'm sorry."

"I would never have forgiven myself if anything happened to you." Her tears were coming now in a steady stream. "I wasn't mad or anything, Carmen. I promise. I just needed to step back and think about things."

"It's fine. I know I threw you for a loop with all that. I can't blame you for feeling weird about it, especially after you ran into Judith in the elevator."

Brooke wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "I was probably more mixed up worrying about why it made me so jealous. I never got that way before when you had girlfriends."

"But none of them looked like you."

"Maybe." She drew a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "I've been thinking about leaving Geoffrey. Surprise, surprise."

"I know you haven't seemed very happy lately."

"I've had this silly fantasy that Amie and I would move in with you again. She goes off to college in the fall, so in my perfect little world, things would work out. We'd have fun all the time and you'd never let me do something stupid, like get married 259 again."

After all the times she selfishly dreamed of Brooke leaving Geoffrey, she was strangely ambivalent it had come to this. It saddened her to realize this would be the first time in thirty years she wouldn't be there to break Brooke's fall, but it was also the first time she could honestly say she wasn't in love with her.

"Whatever you need to do, you know you can count on me to help."

"I know. You're the only one in my whole life I've ever been able to count on. But the strangest thing happened after we talked last week. When I realized leaving wouldn't be so easy, I started wondering if it was worth doing."

"And?"

"And maybe I'll hold off. I don't think we're a good pair right now, but we used to be. We haven't given each other much of a chance lately, and I think we need to do that. At least I need to do that."

"All I care about is you being happy."

Brooke flashed her killer smile. "And all I care about is you being healthy."