Out Of Love Part 27

"Me neither. I can be a tourist anytime."

"You make me want to play hooky and come to New York."

"That sounds like a great idea. I could play hooky too. Then Todd would fire me and we could just lie around in bed all day.

And I would-"

"You would call Sofia like I told you to, and get out of that sweatshop."

187.

"And into another one."

"Yes, but Sofia would give you time off anytime I asked her to."

"The others would treat me like a pariah."

"But you wouldn't care because you'd have your legs wrapped around my head." She buried her face into Judith's neck, avert-ing her eyes from the sight of the limo pulling up in front of the building. "I'm supposed to have a meeting in Philadelphia on Thursday. What if I try to change that to Friday and come up on the train when I get finished?"

"And stay the weekend? I'd love it." She tried to wriggle free but Carmen held her firmly in place. "Shouldn't I go down to meet the car?"

"He'll call up when he's ready. Would you like me to get a hotel room?"

"Why? Afraid of a few steps?"

"I can do steps. But I remember you said your place was perfect for one."

"I think we can manage for a weekend. But I have to see Victor on Sunday."

"That's okay. I'll get a midday flight back here."

Judith spun in her arms. "Or you can come with me if you want."

"We'll see. I haven't decided for sure if I'm even going to let you leave." Now facing each other, Carmen couldn't resist a kiss.

As their lips moved together, their arms tightened in a desperate hug. "I think you should just stay."

"I wish I could."

"Judith, I-" The ringing phone cut her off. "That's your ride."

She picked up the phone and confirmed with the driver.

Judith put on her coat and grabbed the handle of her suitcase.

"Is it Friday yet?"

"Wait. Before you go, I need to tell you something." Carmen 188 swallowed hard and steeled herself. Judith probably wasn't going to believe what she had to say. "You're going to think I'm nuts. I know we still don't know each other all that well, but that's not the way these kinds of things happen for me. I'm sort of weird that way."

"What are you talking about, Carmen?"

She took a deep breath. "I'm in love with you."

From the look on her face, Judith was stunned. Whether that was good or bad was an open question until she finally burst into a grin. "If that makes you nuts, we're both in trouble."

"You feel it too?"

Judith nodded. "I was too scared to call it love, though. But that's sure what it feels like."

"Whatever it is, let's take care of it." She folded Judith into an embrace. "This is going to be the hardest part, saying good-bye."

"We'll just have to look ahead to next time. I'll come back as soon as I can."

"Come on. We have time for one more kiss in the elevator.

Let's do it right."

189.

Chapter 15.

Cathy filled Carmen's doorway, waving a note in the air. "I guess I don't have to ask what kind of weekend you had."

Carmen grinned with satisfaction. "Can we get that meeting with Hinkle changed? Otherwise, there's a pretty good chance I won't be in the office on Friday."

"There's nothing wrong with you taking a day off."

"Except that everyone else here is working their a.s.s off to meet that deadline."

"That's not your project. You can always take your laptop and do some work if it makes you feel better." She came in and plopped onto the sofa, clearly eager to hear details of the weekend. "How was the boat tour?"

"We didn't exactly get out much . . . what with the nasty weather and all."

"How ever did you fill your time?"

190.

"How do you think?" Carmen answered with a smirk. Then she related the story of Judith's plane delays, and their few forays out of the apartment to walk Prissy and pick up coffee. "Before she left, I told her I was in love with her."

If Cathy was the least bit surprised, she didn't show it. "In love as in relationship? Or diversion?"

It wasn't love like she had with Kim, with whom she had spent five tenuous years, wondering which of them would leave first. And it certainly wasn't like Robin, who was fun and s.e.xy, but never more than an amus.e.m.e.nt. "No, more like . . . as in Brooke."

That drew the look of surprise she expected, and then some.

Cathy sighed heavily and glared at her sternly. "Do you hear yourself? You've known Brooke thirty years and Judith . . . what?

Thirty days?"

"I know. I don't mean like I love Brooke now. But this feels like it did thirty years ago, and I knew I'd feel that way . . ." She almost said all her life, but that sounded crazy, even to her. She shook her head and slumped in her leather chair. "It's hard to explain."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Carmen . . . as long as you're not looking for more things to compare just because Judith and Brooke happen to look alike."

"I'm past that. It jumps back every now and then, but it's not an issue." She opened her desk drawer. "Why don't I keep a bottle of scotch in here?"

"Because you don't want anyone else to keep a bottle of scotch in here."

"Oh, yeah." She got up and came around her desk, taking a seat in a chair across from her friend. "Do you remember when you first knew you were in love with Hank?"

"Not the exact moment, but I do remember why I fell in love with him. It was after I got so sick with the flu and he came to the dorm every night and held my head while I threw up in the 191 trashcan. I figured a guy who would do that was too special to let get away."

"And you were right. You knew it in here, didn't you?" She tapped her fist on her chest.

"I suppose so. Did you have a moment like that with Judith?"

"Sort of. It was like that with Brooke too. I realized how I felt all of a sudden and it turned into a filter for everything else."

Carmen got up and shut the door. The whole office would be talking about her by this afternoon anyway, but she wanted at least the illusion of mystique. "Am I making any sense?"

"Barely. But that never stopped you before."

She paced around the couch as she gathered her thoughts. "I remember when I first knew I was in love with Brooke. It was a weekend and we were alone in the dorm because you guys had gone home or something. I went into her room to see if she wanted dinner and I found her crying." Carmen had kept this story to herself out of loyalty to Brooke, but it was old news now.

"You guys know all about Brooke being molested when she was little, right?"

Cathy nodded.

"And she made a big deal about how she wasn't going to have s.e.x with anyone unless she really loved him. Remember that?"

"Until that basketball player."

"Right . . . Dumfrey or Dumb s.h.i.t, whatever his name was.

And then he dropped her a week later."

"I remember."

"She was devastated. She said it was the only time she had ever felt sure enough to share that part of herself, and this guy just basically threw it back in her face. I wanted to go kick his a.s.s."

"Like you wanted to kick Anthony's?"

"Exactly. That's when I knew things were different between Brooke and me, but I didn't have a handle on the lesbian thing, so I wasn't ready to face what it was. I just remember holding her 192 that night while she cried, and all I could think of was how much I wanted to protect her, to make her laugh again and forget the awful things that had happened."

"And that's exactly what you've done with her ever since."

Carmen returned to her chair. "It was like being hit in the head with a hammer."

"And now you want to protect Judith?"

"No, Judith doesn't need to be protected." Still, it felt like it had with Brooke. "But I got this feeling about her last weekend.

She's just such a . . . nice person. Nice doesn't even describe it."

Judith was so much more than that. "She feels for other people, no matter who they are."

"She's compa.s.sionate."

"That's it. There isn't a selfish bone in her body. Anyone who does things for other people like that deserves to have them done for her."

"And just like that, you're in love?"

"That's all it took. And when I opened that door on Friday night and saw her there, it hit me again like a hammer. I want to make sure good things happen to her."

"I'm happy for you, Carmen."

But she didn't sound happy. She sounded dubious. "What?"

"What do you mean what? I said I was happy."

"I know your happy voice, and that wasn't it."

Cathy chuckled. "That was my 'now that you've found a lesbian, why couldn't she live in Chicago' voice."

Carmen sighed. "There is that. But it's too soon to worry about it."

"You're right. You should be worrying about how you're going to introduce her to your best friend."

She stood up and headed back to her desk. "Thanks so much for coming in here and letting the air out of my balloons. I didn't need to feel good today. I have too much work to do."

"Somebody has to keep your feet on the ground. And you'll 193 need to be more efficient if you're going to be running back and forth to New York."

"Right. You can go away now. And don't come back unless it's with a latte-a double . . . no, a triple."

Carmen smiled and let out a satisfied breath as Cathy left her office. It was good to be able to share what she was feeling with someone, especially a friend who could reel her in when she started getting ahead of herself. It was fine to be in love with Judith, but way too early to start planning their future.

And Cathy was right that she needed to talk to Brooke. Her head was already working on coming up with a painless way to do that.

Judith wiped her feet on the bristled doormat on the porch of the group home and pressed the buzzer to announce herself. She had been eager to see Victor, but that changed to apprehension after talking to the staff at the group home. When she called this morning to say she was coming by, they were struggling to convince Victor to go to work. He had been frantic since lunchtime on Sunday, unhappy she hadn't come to pick him up.

"Come on in, Judith."