Our Deportment Part 33

You should be exceedingly cautious about expressing an unfavorable opinion relative to a young lady to a young man who appears to be attracted by, and attentive to her. If they should marry, the remembrance of your observations will not be pleasurable to yourself nor the married parties.

A CONVERSATION CHECKED.

If a person checks himself in a conversation, you should not insist on hearing what he intended to say. There is some good reason for checking himself, and it might cause him unpleasant feelings to urge him to carry out his first intentions.

VULGARITIES.

Some of the acts which may be cla.s.sed as vulgarities when committed in the presence of others are given:

To sit with your back to a person, without asking to be excused.

To stand or sit with the feet wide apart.

To hum, whistle or sing in suppressed tones.

To stand with the arms akimbo; to lounge or yawn, or to do anything which shows disrespect, selfishness or indifference.

To correct inaccuracies in the statements of others, or their modes of speech.

To use profane language, or stronger expression than the occasion justifies.

To chew tobacco and its unnecessary accompaniment, spitting, are vulgar in the extreme.

MISCELLANEOUS RULES.

A gentleman precedes a lady pa.s.sing through a crowd; ladies precede gentlemen under ordinary circ.u.mstances.

Give your children, unless married, their Christian names only, or say "my daughter" or "my son," in speaking of them to any one except servants.

Ladies in escorting each other, never offer to take the arm.

Acknowledge an invitation to stop with a friend, or any unusual attention without delay.

Never boast of birth, money or friends, or of any superior advantages you may possess.

Never ridicule others, be the object of your ridicule present or absent.

Always show respect for the religious opinions and observances of others, no matter how much they may differ from your own.

You should never scratch your head, pick your teeth, clean your nails or pick your nose in company.

Never lean your head against the wall, as you may disgust your wife or hostess by soiling the paper of her room.

Never slam a door or stamp noisily on entering a room.

Always be punctual. You have no right to waste the time of others by making them wait for you.

Always hand a chair for a lady, pick up her glove and perform any little service she may seem to require.

Never attract attention to yourself by talking or laughing loudly in public gatherings.

Keep yourself quiet and composed under all circ.u.mstances. Do not get fidgety. If you feel that time drags heavily, do not let this be apparent to others by any visible sign of uneasiness.

Refrain from absent-mindedness in the presence of others. You pay them a poor compliment if you thus forget them.

Never refuse to accept an apology for an offense, and never hesitate to make one, if one is due from you.

Never answer another rudely or impatiently. Reply courteously, at whatever inconvenience to yourself.

Never intrude upon a business man or woman in business hours unless you wish to see them on business.

Never engage a person in private conversation in presence of others, nor make any mysterious allusions which no one else understands.

On entering a room, bow slightly as a general salutation, before speaking to each of the persons a.s.sembled.

Do not seem to notice by word or glance, the deformity of another.

To administer reproof to anyone in the presence of others is very impolite. To scold at any time is unwise.

Never undertake a commission for a friend and neglect to perform it.

Never play a practical joke upon anyone, or answer a serious remark by a flippant one.

Never lend a borrowed book, and never keep such a book a single day after you are done with it.

Never pa.s.s between two persons who are talking together; and never pa.s.s before persons when it is possible to pa.s.s behind them. When such an act is absolutely necessary, always apologize for so doing.

"Never speak of a man's virtues before his face, or his faults behind his back," is a maxim to be remembered.

Another maxim is, "In private watch your thoughts; in your family watch your temper; in society watch your tongue."

Never address a mere acquaintance by his or her Christian name. It is a presumption at which the acquaintance may take offense.

Haughtiness and contempt are among the habits to be avoided. The best way is to deal courteously with the rude as well as with the courteous.

In the presence of others, talk as little of yourself as possible, or of the business or profession in which you are engaged.

It shows a want of courtesy to consult your watch, either at home or abroad. If at home, it appears as though you were tired of your company, and wished them to be gone. If abroad, it appears as though the hours dragged heavily, and you were calculating how soon you would be released.

Do not touch or handle any of the ornaments in the house where you visit. They are intended to be admired, not handled by visitors.

Do not read in company. A gentleman or lady may, however, look over a book of engravings or a collection of photographs with propriety.

Every species of affectation should be avoided, as it is always detected, and exceedingly disagreeable.