Our Deportment Part 28

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Denver, May 13, 1881._

_My Esteemed Friend:_

_I received your very good letter, and hasten to reply. I am overjoyed at the prospects of a speedy return to the ancient, but delightful "City of the Straits," and antic.i.p.ate spending a pleasant summer with you and my many friends. We are making preparations to leave June 5th._

_Your old friend,_ _Joe J. Wilson_

_Geo. W. Smyth,_ _Detroit, Mich._]

DEGREES OF FORMALITY OBSERVED.

In commencing and signing notes and letters there is a difference of opinion in the degrees of formality to be observed, but generally this scale is used according to the degree of acquaintance or friendship.

"Madam" or "Sir," "Dear Madam" or "Dear Sir," "My Dear Madam" or "My Dear Sir," "Dear Mrs. Brown" or "Dear Mr. Brown," "My Dear Mrs. Brown"

or "My Dear Mr. Brown," "My Dear Friend." In closing a note, the degrees are implied as follows: "Truly Yours" or "Yours Truly," "Very Truly Yours," "Sincerely Yours," "Cordially Yours," "Faithfully Yours,"

"Affectionately Yours." The proper words should be carefully selected, as the conclusion of a note or letter makes an impression on the person reading it. To aged persons the form, "With great respect, sincerely yours," recommends itself as a proper form. "Yours, etc.," is considered a rude ending. If you are sufficiently well acquainted with a person to address her "My Dear Mrs. ----," do not sign "Yours Truly," or "Truly Yours," as this is the form to be used in writing to strangers or in business letters.

SIGNATURE OF LADIES.

A married lady should not sign herself with the "Mrs." before her baptismal name, or a single lady with the "Miss." In writing to strangers who do not know whether to address you as Mrs. or Miss, the address should be given in full, after signing your letter; as "Mrs.

John Smith," followed by the direction; or if unmarried, the "Miss"

should be placed in brackets a short distance preceding the signature.

Only the letters of unmarried ladies and widows are addressed with their baptismal names. The letters of married ladies are addressed with their husbands' names, as "Mrs. John Smith."

LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION.

Letters of introduction should be brief and carefully worded. Give in full the name of the person introduced, the city or town he is from, intimating the mutual pleasure that you believe the acquaintance will confer, adding a few remarks concerning the one introduced, as circ.u.mstances seem to require. Modest persons sometimes shrink from delivering letters of introduction which appear to them to be undeservedly complimentary. Letters of introduction are left unsealed, to be sealed before delivery by the one introduced. They should receive immediate attention by the parties who receive them. When a gentleman delivers such a letter to a lady, he is at liberty to call upon her, sending her his card to ascertain whether she will receive him then, or appoint another hour that will be more convenient. The same rule is to be observed by those whose stay in the city is short. He may also send it to her with his card bearing his address.

A letter of introduction should not be given, unless the person writing it is very well acquainted with the one whom he introduces, and the one to whom he writes. If the person who receives such a letter is really well-bred, you will hear from him or her within twenty-four hours, for a letter of introduction is said to be like a draft, it must be cashed at sight. The one receiving it either invites you to dine, or to meet others, or to a drive, or to visit some place of amus.e.m.e.nt. Too great caution cannot be exercised in giving a letter which makes such demands upon an acquaintance.

When the letter of introduction is left with a card, if there is a gentleman in the family, he may call upon the stranger the next day, unless some engagement prevents, when he should send his card with an invitation. If the letter introduces a gentleman to a lady, she may write a note of invitation in answer, appointing a time for him to call.

The following is an appropriate form for a letter of introduction.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

[Ill.u.s.tration: _New York, Dec 20, 1880._

_Dear Sir:_

_I take great pleasure in introducing to you my esteemed friend, Miss Ida A Thornton, a young lady of culture and refinement, who will spend a few months in your city. I am sure that an acquaintance with her will be a pleasure to you, as it will also be to Miss Thornton. Any favor you may show her during her stay in your city, I will consider a personal favor._

_Yours Sincerely,_ _Mrs. J.Q.A. Jones._

_To Geo. Morris,_ _Chicago._]

The envelope containing a letter of introduction, should be addressed as follows:

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Geo. Morris, Esq._ _1671 Jackson Street,_ _Chicago,_ _Introducing_ _Ill._ _Miss Ida A. Thornton._]

NOTES OF CONGRATULATION OR CONDOLENCE.

Notes of congratulation and condolence should be brief, and the letter should only be sent by near and intimate friends. Do not allude to any subject except the one for which you are offering your congratulations or sympathy. Such notes should be made expressive of real feeling, and not be mere matters of form.

INVITATION TO A RECEPTION.

For a general reception, invitations are printed on cards. Their style is like the following, and do not require an answer unless "R.S.V.P." is upon one corner.

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Mrs. J.L. Ashton,_ _At home,_ _Wednesday Evening, Jan. 6,_ _No. 248 James St_ _8 to 11 P.M._]

INVITATION TO A BALL.

The "At Home" form of invitation for a reception is often adopted for a ball with the word "Dancing" in one corner, though many people use the "At Home" form only for receptions. For b.a.l.l.s the hours are not limited as at receptions. When the above form is not used for a ball, the invitation may read as follows:

"Mrs. Blair requests the pleasure of Miss Milton's company at a ball, on Tuesday, February 7, at 9 o'clock."

Invitations to a ball are always given in the name of the lady of the house, and require an answer, which should not be delayed. If the invitation is accepted, the answer should be as follows:

"Miss Milton accepts with pleasure Mrs. Blair's kind invitation for Tuesday, February 7."

If it is found impossible to attend, a note of regrets, something like the following, should be sent:

"Miss Milton regrets that intended absence from home (or whatever may be the preventing cause) prevents her accepting Mrs. Blair's kind invitation for February 7."

INVITATION TO A LARGE PARTY.

The invitation to a large party is similar to that for a ball, only the words "at a ball" are omitted, and the hour may be earlier. The notes of acceptance and regret are the same as for a ball. If the party is a small one, it should be indicated by inserting the words, "to a small evening party," so that there may be no misunderstanding. A large party calls for full evening dress, and it would be embarra.s.sing for a lady or gentleman to go to a house in full evening dress, expecting to find a large party there in similar costumes, and meet only a few friends and acquaintances plainly dressed. If there is any special feature which is to give character to the evening, it is best to mention this fact in the note of invitation. Thus the words "musical party," "to take part in dramatic readings," "amateur theatricals," will denote the character of the evening's entertainment. If you have programmes, enclose one in the invitation.

INVITATION TO A PUBLIC ENTERTAINMENT.

An invitation from a gentleman to a lady to attend a concert, lecture, theatre, opera or other amus.e.m.e.nt, may read as follows:

"Mr. Hayden would be pleased to have Miss Morton's company to the Academy of Music, on Monday evening, November 8, when 'Richelieu' will be played by Edwin Booth's Company."

An invitation of this kind demands an immediate answer of acceptance or regrets. A previous engagement may be a reason for rejection.

DINNER INVITATIONS.

These are written in the name of the husband and wife, and demand an immediate reply. This form may be used: