Only Series - Only Mine Part 21

Jessica said nothing until Willow went out of the kitchen carrying a pan of warm water in her hands. When Jessica turned to Wolfe, he was staring out the window once more. The expression of sorrow in his eyes made fear squeeze her heart.

aLove, whatas wrong?a she asked.

aNothing.a She shook her head slowly. aYour eyes are haunted.a aaTis your imagination.a Wolfe smiled and touched her cheek gently. aElves are noted for their imagination.a aWolfe,a she whispered. aI canat joke about what I see in your eyes. Who or what are you mourning?a His eyes narrowed in surprise. He hadnat expected Jessica to see into him so clearly, even more clearly than he saw into himself.

Mourning.

aIam always sad to say good-bye to Caleb and Willow,a Wolfe said after a moment, the only part of the truth he would discuss.

It was Jessicaas turn to be surprised. aWeare leaving?a aItas too wild here.a Wolfeas voice was resonant with finality and grief. A chill roughened Jessicaas skin.

aWhat are you saying?a she whispered.

aWeare going to England.a aIad rather hunt mustangs,a she said, aor did you want to wait until autumn, when this yearas crop of foals will be weaned?a Wolfe turned away without answering.

aWolfe?a aWeall be in England when the foals are weaned.a aThen weall come back next spring.a aNo.a The word was soft, final.

aWhy not?a aSpring and fall are when Lord Robertas managers are most needed on his country estates.a The chill moving through Jessica congealed into ice and settled into the pit of her stomach.

aWhat does that have to do with us?a she asked tightly.

aI will be one of those managers.a aWhat are you saying?a Wolfe looked out the window. aWe will live in England.a aYou hate England.a Wolfe shrugged. aParts of the countryside are quite pretty.a aTheyare not a patch on this,a she said, indicating the wild beauty of the mountains beyond the window.

aNo. Theyare not.a aWhat of your mustangs?a aIam giving them to Caleb.a Jessica swayed and whispered. aYou mean never to come back to the West!a Wolfe didnat answer. He didnat have to. The shadows in his eyes said all that was necessary.

aBut why? You love this land. Iave seen you, Wolfe. You watch these mountains the way a man watches a woman he loves.a aLet it go, Jessi.a aNo! Why canat we live here? Why must we live in England?a aThis is no place for you,a Wolfe said quietly. aYou have to be born for this land. You werenat.a aAnd you were.a He made an odd, almost helpless gesture. aYes. But I can survive England. You canat survive the West.a aDear G.o.d, how you must hate me.a Swiftly, Wolfe turned and touched Jessicaas cheek. aI donat hate you, elf.a aYou will. Iave cost you the only thing youave ever truly loved. You will hate me as surely and as deeply as you love the land!a Wolfe saw the shine of tears on Jessicaas face and gathered her into his arms. aHush, wife. Youare only hurting yourself.a aI donat want to live in England,a she said flatly, pushing away from him. aDo you hear me? I love the mountains. Why canat we live here?a aYou gave yourself into my care. I wonat watch this wild land kill you.a Jessicaas hands clenched against Wolfeas shirt, digging into the hard muscle beneath the cloth.

aWolfe, listen to me. I am stronger than you believe. If I were the weak little elf you think me, I would have died as a child!a His hand curled beneath her chin. Silently, he felt the delicate bone structure and soft skin. He smiled sadly.

aYou havenat half my strength,a Wolfe said. aIn England, that wonat matter.a aIn England no one looks beyond your b.a.s.t.a.r.dy and Indian blood,a she said harshly. aHere you have friends and a chance to build a better life for yourself. Canat you see that? Canat you see whata"a Wolfeas thumb pressed against Jessicaas lips, sealing in her urgent words. 1 aIave always seen that,a he said in a calm voice, aItas why I left England, and you. I could have you or I could have the West. I took you, knowing what the end would be. England.a aBut Ia"a aItas done, Jessi,a he interrupted flatly. aIt was done when I took your maidenhead.a aWolfe, please believe me. I didnat mean for this to happen! Not like this. Dear G.o.d, not like this!a Gently, Wolfe took Jessicaas clenched hands from his shirt. aI know. But all your pleas and tears wonat change what is. You are what you are. I am what I am. We are husband and wife and England will be our home.a Jessica closed her eyes. She would have preferred blows to Wolfeas calm summation of their marriage.

aGo begin packing,a Wolfe said quietly. aIall help Caleb for the time that is left.a The kitchen door opened and closed softly behind Wolfe.

For a long time, Jessica stared blindly at the door, seeing nothing but the tears overflowing her eyes, understanding too late what Wolfe had always known: Their marriage would destroy one of them, if not both.

Agree to an annulment. d.a.m.n you, let me go!

Iam the wrong husband for you. Youare the wrong wife for me. Lying together would be the worst mistake of my life.

You were not born for the Western wilderness. I was.

Donat love me, Jessi. It will only hurt us both.

Itas done, Jessi. It was done when I took your maidenhead.

You are what you are. I am what I am.

Tree That Stands Alone.

Jessica opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to stave off the ice radiating through her soul. With the same fierce determination she once had used to survive as a child, she searched now for a way out of the trap she had sprung around Wolfe.

When she finally found it, she washed the marks of grief from her face and went to find Caleb Black.

aDELAYING wonat accomplish anything,a Wolfe said, continuing the argument that had begun the moment Jessica had awakened him at dawn. aWhether we leave today or ten days after, weare still leaving.a aI said I would return to England without a fuss if you would hunt mustangs for one last rime,a Jessica said evenly. aI meant it.a Warily, Wolfe looked at Jessica. He had seen her in many moods, from intense fear to intense pa.s.sion, but never had he seen her like this. There was nothing fey or elfin about her now, nor anything fragile. There was simply an ingathering of strength and purpose that reminded him of nothing so much as himself.

aI donat want to hunt mustangs,a Wolfe said carefully.

aThen do it for Caleb. He needs more horses in order to work his ranch properly. He said so himself.a Wolfe looked uneasily at Jessica. He sensed the wild grief in her as clearly as she had sensed it in him that morning. Yet there were no tears in her eyes, no resonances of pa.s.sion in her voice.

He didnat know her this way. The realization frightened him.

Wolfeas hands flashed out, pulling Jessica into his arms. aI wonat take you into the wild with me,a he said harshly.

aI know.a aIs that why youare so eager for me to hunt mustangs? Are you already tired of having me in your bed and body?a The words were hardly out of Wolfeas mouth before Jessica was kissing him as though she expected to die in the next moment and wanted him never to forget what she had been like when fully alive. He kissed her in the same way until they both were breathing brokenly, consumed by pa.s.sion.

aFill me,a Jessica whispered against his mouth. aFill me until I canat remember what it is to be separate from you. Fill me as though it were the last time.a With a hoa.r.s.e sound, Wolfe swept the filmy layers of Jessicaas nightgown above her waist. He whispered her name as he knelt between her legs and drew them up over his thighs. The melting ease of his penetration told him more about her love than any words could have. The sweetness of being possessed by him and possessing him in turn dragged a husky sound from the back of her throat.

aMore,a Jessica said urgently. aWolfe, I must have more of you.a aYouare too small. Iall hurt you.a aPleaseaa She pulled at him, straining against him, asking for more of him, asking for all that he had to give, her words a dark fire licking over him, making him shudder with a need unlike any he had known before. With a hoa.r.s.e sound, he slid his arms beneath her knees and lifted her legs, opening her without reservation. She moaned and bit her lip and arched against him, asking for more. Her silken heat spilled over him, underlining her whispered pleas.

aTo think I called you a nun,a Wolfe said hoa.r.s.ely. aYou are fire, elf. Burn for me.a Then he gave her what she was crying for, filling her, sinking into her so deeply that she felt him all through her body until she was stretched on a golden rack of ecstasy and she burned.

Wolfe felt Jessicaas wild release begin and laughed with elemental triumph. He moved slowly, deeply, dragging cries from her, watching her burn, burning with her as the silky fire of her ecstasy fused their bodies together. He drove repeatedly into her, sinking more deeply into her fire, wanting it never to end. But she felt too good, she lured him too profoundly. Her words and rippling cries and sleek body demanded that he give himself to her as completely as she had given herself to him.

Even as Wolfe tried to hold back, he knew it was too late. He was too much a part of her, his body so deeply joined with hers that he didnat know where he ended and she began, two flames intertwined, burning redoubled with each breath. Fighting no more, he gave himself to her and to the ecstasy that burned ever higher, feeding on his release, renewing and consuming both of them until they burned as a single flame, inseparable.

CALEB was waiting for Jessica in the kitchen. He looked at her pale, drawn face and bleak eyes and said something savage beneath his breath.

aYou really mean to go through with this d.a.m.n fool idea?a he demanded.

aYes.a aDid you tell Wolfe?a aThat wasnat part of our bargain. I agreed not to set out alone if you would agree not to tell Wolfe that I was going.a Caleb took off his hat, ran long fingers through his black hair, and said bluntly, aI think this is a p.i.s.s-poor idea.a aIam aware of that,a Jessica said in a clipped voice. aIam also aware that Wolfe would probably kill Reno or Rafe if they helped me. Wolfe wonat kill you.a aYouare a lot more certain of that than I am,a Caleb retorted.

aWolfe will be angry, but he knows there is no other woman for you except Willow. Reno or Rafe wouldnat touch me, either, but Iam afraid to test Wolfeas temper that far. He might shoot before he asked questions. Heas frighteningly good with that rifle.a aSeems like a man as possessive as Wolfe is just might love his wife.a aDesire isnat love,a Jessica said tightly.

aJessia"a Caleb began, only to be interrupted.

aI trapped Tree That Stands Alone into marriage. Iam setting him free.a aJessia"a aAre the horses ready?a she asked, cutting across his attempts to speak.

There was a taut silence.

aIam d.a.m.n tempted to ride out after Wolfe,a Caleb said finally.

aI canat stop you.a aAnd I canat stop you, either, is that it? Youall cut and run off in the wild the first chance you get, and the Devil take the hindmost.a aOf course. Thatas the only reason you agreed to take me to the stage in the first place.a aBlackmail.a aIn a word, yes.a Calebas mouth turned down as he looked at the darkness and determination in Jessicaas eyes. It reminded him of the time Willow had set out alone on Ishmael in the middle of the night rather than go through with a marriage she believed Caleb didnat want. Willow had come very close to dying because of her determination that Caleb be set free. The memory of nearly losing her still haunted him at odd moments, making him go to Willow and hold her, rea.s.suring himself that she was alive, safe, his.

Jessica was no less determined to do what she believed was right than Willow had been. All Caleb could do was see that Jessica stayed safe until Wolfe had a chance to sort out the mess.

Grimly, Caleb pulled out his six-gun, spun the cylinder to check the load, and holstered the gun with a smoothness that told its own deadly story.

aThe horses are waiting, Mrs. Lonetree.a Tears came unbidden to her eyes. aMy name is Lady Jessica Charteris.a aCALL it,a Reno said.

aHeads,a said Rafe.

aTails.a Rafe flipped the coin.

Renoas hand flashed out, caught the coin, and smacked it down on the back of his hand. He pocketed the coin without bothering to look at it.

aTails,a Reno said, turning away.

As he reached for his horseas rein, the bullwhip Rafe was holding rippled and writhed as though alive. Suddenly, the tip cracked with the sound of a pistol shot.

Reno turned toward Rafe, who was coiling the whip with swift motions of his hands.

aThatas your free one, Matt,a Rafe said flatly. aDonat do it again. Which horses do you want?a aOnly one of us is going. Me. Youare staying with Willow.a Rafe smiled thinly. aI figured that out real quick. What you havenat figured out is Wolfe was so eager to get finished hunting mustangs and get back to his wife that he left here at a dead run.a Reno hesitated, listening.

aBy the time you catch up and the two of you get back to the ranch,a Rafe continued, aCaleb will have a h.e.l.l of a long lead on you. So which of Calebas horses are best for making up time over rough country?a aWillow said to be sure one of the horses we had waiting for Wolfe was Ishmael.a aAll right. Who else?a Renoas smile was as hard and brilliant as his eyes. aDoesnat matter. Everything Caleb left here is better than anything he took with him. That boy was in no hurry to put daylight between himself and Wolfe.a Rafe blinked and then laughed softly. aTricky.a aSmart. Wolfe is going to come down off the mountain like a blue norther.a aMaybe. And maybe heall just let Jessi go. From what Iave seen, he wasnat any too pleased to be married to her.a Pale green eyes a.s.sessed Rafe before Reno showed his teeth in a wolfish smile. aAnd thatas just what you were planning to rub Wolfeas face in, wasnat it?a Rafeas smile was as cold as his gray eyes. aThatas a fact. He was hard on her.a aHe had some cause, and Jessi was the first one to say so.a aAll the same, Iad like to be the one to tell Wolfe.a aSorry, big brother. This one is mine.a Reno swung into the saddle and looked down at Rafe. aThink. Why do you suppose Jessica asked Caleb to go instead of one of us?a aIave been wondering about that,a Rafe admitted, awhat with a wife and new baby to look after and all.a aStop wondering. Caleb is married to the soles of his feet and Wolfe knows it. So does Jessi.a aNeither one of us would have touched Jessi,a Rafe said instantly. aShe knows that.a aUh-huh. Now, do you want to be the one to explain it all to Wolfe while heas a half mile away, taking your measure over the barrel of a rifle?a aIf Jessi didnat love that hard-headed son of a b.i.t.c.h, Iad be glad to explain it to Wolfe any way I got the chance.a aSo would I,a Reno said flatly. aBut she does love him.a Rafeas mouth tightened. He nodded and stepped out of the way.

aAll right, Blackfoot,a Reno said. aLetas see if youare half the running fool Jed Slater thought you were.a The tall black horse leaped forward, hitting its full stride in seconds.

THE second day on the trail, Caleb spent as much time looking over his shoulder as he did watching the route ahead.

aStop putting a kink in your neck,a Jessica said, looking up from the stream where the horses were drinking. aWolfe isnat coming after me.a aFor a bright girl, you can be stump dumb at times.a Caleb checked the cinch on the pack saddle and then on his own horse. aWolfe loves you.a aHe wants me. Thereas a difference.a aNot for a man, honey. Not at first.a Caleb swung up on his horse and started forward again, leaving Jessica staring after him. He kept to a steady pace, not wanting her to accuse him of shirking his side of the bargain. On the other hand, he never took the shortest route around any obstacle. No point in giving Wolfe cause to be any angrier than he already would be.

It was late afternoon before Caleb reined in to study the route ahead. On either side lay a cl.u.s.ter of raw mountain peaks which were separated by a broad band of land that was clothed in trees, scrub, and gra.s.s. The divide was several miles wide at the bottom and less than a mile at its highest elevation. Where Caleb and Willow were, the land was green with the wild rush of spring and alive with melt.w.a.ter from the nearby mountains.

aWeall camp here,a Caleb said.

aIt wonat be dark for two hours.a Caleb slanted Jessica a cool amber glance. aIt will take longer than that to get over the divide. If we donat camp here, weall be picking our way through a half-frozen marsh in the dark with no place to sleep but sitting up in the saddle.a Jessica met Calebas glance, sighed, and looked uneasily over her shoulder. She thought she had caught movement behind them, but Caleb didnat seemed concerned. When she looked back, he was watching her with an odd smile on his face.

aDonat fret, Red,a Caleb said kindly. aI gave you enough lead on your man that heall work off the worst of his mad before he catches us.a aWolfe isnat coming.a aHorses.h.i.t.a Jessica gave Caleb a startled look.

He smiled as gently as though she were Willow.

aEven if youare right,a Jessica said with a catch in her voice, aWolfe couldnat get to us this quickly without riding a horse to death. He wouldnat do that.a aOne horse couldnat get the job done,a Caleb agreed. aThree could, thougha"Deuce, Trey, and Ishmael.a aWhat?a Caleb looked past Jessica at the open ground they had just covered.

aIf I were you,a he said, aIad spend the next few minutes thinking up ways to take the edge off Wolfeas temper.a The certainty in Calebas voice sent a stroke of unease through Jessica. She stood in her stirrups and looked past him.

Two big black horses and one smaller sorrel had broken from the cover of the forest and were running flat out toward her up the long sweep of the gra.s.sy divide. Only one horse carried a man. As she watched, the rider leaped from the back of one of the blacks to the sorrel without slowing the pace one bit.

aDear G.o.d,a she breathed.

aLooks more like Wolfe Lonetree to me,a Caleb said dryly.

With watchful amber eyes, Caleb waited while the horses thundered closer. When he saw that Wolfeas rifle was still in its scabbard, Caleb let out a silent breath of relief and gave Jessica a rea.s.suring smile. Jessica didnat notice. She sat on Two-Spot and waited, knowing her horse had no chance to outrun the Arabian stallion.

Wolfe didnat even glance at Caleb when he galloped up and pulled Ishmael to a rearing, dancing halt. Wolfe had eyes only for the red-haired girl who was sitting astride Two-Spot with a spine as straight as a ramrod. Calmly, Wolfe dismounted, turned the hot horses over to Caleb, and then stood silently, watching Jessica.

aIall make camp in those trees,a Caleb said, gesturing toward a scattering of evergreens a mile back down the trail.

Wolfe nodded.

aYou might keep in mind that she was only doing what she thought was best for you,a Caleb said as he took Ishmaelas reins. aThe same as you were doing what you thought was best for her.a aAdios, Cal,a Wolfe said flatly.

Without another word, Caleb reined his horse back toward the setting sun, taking with him all the horses but the one Jessica rode. Two-Spot stretched against the bit and whinnied at being left behind.

Without warning, Wolfe vaulted on behind Jessica, took the reins from her, and turned Two-Spot toward a nearby stand of aspens. Their delicate new leaves glowed an unearthly green in the slanting light. When the small breeze stirred, the leaves quivered as though alive and breathing.

Jessica felt as shaky as one of the leaves. She looked down at the dark, lean hand holding the reins, and at the arm that half-circled her without touching her. The temptation to trace the veins in the back of Wolfeas hand with her fingertips was so great that she had to close her eyes against it. An almost hidden tremor went through her as she fought not to show her hunger and yearning to touch the life that beat so strongly beneath Wolfeas controlled surface.

Wolfe dismounted and tied Two-Spot to a slender aspen. Then he stood and looked at Jessica for the longest minute of her life. She met his narrowed indigo eyes, refusing to show either the pain or the yearning that seethed beneath her outward calm.

aYou looked surprised to see me when I rode up,a Wolfe said.

aCaleb wasnat. He did everything but set fire to trees so you could follow.a aI would have found you if youad gone barefoot over solid stone.a aWhy?a The question put the match to Wolfeas temper. aYouare my wife.a aThe marriage isnat valid.a aLike h.e.l.l it isnat. I had you so deep and so hard itas a b.l.o.o.d.y wonder either one of us could walk afterward.a Scarlet flags burned on Jessicaas cheekbones, but she didnat back down. aYou said you would withhold your fertility from the union despite my wishes otherwise,a she said carefully. aThat is grounds for annulment.a aI was trying to spare you the risk of childbed!a aSo you say.a Jessica shrugged casually despite the tension that made her body feel brittle. aA magistrate might view your actions as less than n.o.ble.a aThatas just it,a Wolfe shot back. aIam not n.o.ble. You are!a No matter how hard Jessica fought it, she couldnat prevent a scalding tear from falling. The combination of grief and rage in her voice made it shake.

aAnd there it is,a she said, athe one thing I canat change and you canat forgive.a aYouare not making sense.a Her eyes focused on him. They were as pale and bleak as the streamside ice.

aI can learn to cook and clean and launder,a Jessica said. aI can burn in your arms and you in mineabut itas not enough. It will never be enough. You despise the aristocracy, and my father was an earl.a aThatas nota"a aYou want me,a she continued relentlessly, abut not as a wife. Iam not fit to be the mother of your children. Iam a spoiled, cruel child. Iam aa"a aJessi, thatas not what Ia"a aa"girl, not a woman, as useless as teats on a boar hog, the wronga"a ad.a.m.n it, thatas nota"a aYes it is!a she said harshly, talking over him. aYou have never lied to me, no matter how much the truth hurt. Donat begin now, when there is no more need. I trapped you, Iam setting you free. Go back to the wild land you love, the land for which you were born, the land Iam not worthy to inhabit and never will be. I am what I am anda"a ad.a.m.nation. Will you listen or do I have toa"a aa"you are Tree That Stands Alone and lying with me was the worst mistake of your life!a aWrong,a Wolfe said furiously. aThe worst mistake of my life was promising Willow Iad try talking with you first!a With no warning, Wolfe yanked Jessica out of the saddle and fastened his mouth over hers. She twisted and thrashed against him, but he was much too strong. He absorbed her struggles until the wild urgency of his kiss reached her on a level deeper than words.

Unable to deny Wolfe and herself any longer, Jessica yielded to him the softness he had already taken, sharing the kiss with him. It was a long time before he lifted his head.

aThis is the only truth that matters,a Wolfe said finally, brushing Jessicaas tears away. aYou are mine, only mine. And I am yours.a aYou are Tree That Stands Alone.a aAnd you are the sun in my sky. Donat take the sun from me, Jessi.a She tried to speak, but was too moved by what she saw in his eyes to say more than his name.

aWolfe?a aStay with me, Jessi Lonetree,a he whispered. aShare the wild land with me. Love me as much as I love you.a

Epilogue.

I N the following months, Wolfe showed Jessica his favorite places in the western land. Together they smelted the rain winds sweeping across the desert, wearing robes of lightning and bringing the miracle of water to a dry land. Together they stood among stone b.u.t.tes anch.o.r.ed like great ships in a boundless sea of sand.

Together they saw a canyon so vast it could be crossed only by the sun, and at its bottom a river coiled like a silver medicine snake, untouched, untouchable. Together they stood in the sun-washed silence of cities built by men long dead. Ancient, enigmatic, set into sheer rock cliffs, nothing inhabited the stone cities but the wind. No paths led to the buildings and no paths came away, yet the cities remained, filled with mysteries and spirits of a time long past, unknown, unknowable.

Together they followed streams that had no name up the slopes of mountains that were also unnamed, climbing so high that angels sang in the ringing silence just before moonrise. Together they drank from lakes as blue as Wolfeas eyes and fell asleep in each otheras arms, waking to find the aspens ablaze with winteras first kiss.

Finally they followed the sunrise back to the San Juans. An houras lazy ride from Willow and Calebas home, Wolfe and Jessica built their own home along the Columbineas clear waters. There Wolfe talked to mustangs and Jessica stalked living rainbows through deep river pools. There beneath a sky as deep and wild as their love, they created new life where none had been before, boys with Wolfeas fluid strength and girls with Jessicaas laughter and fire.

And through all the peace and storms of all their years, Jessica was the sun in Wolfeas sky, bringing light and life to Tree That Stands Alone.