Only Series - Only Mine Part 10

aGet a better brand of preacher,a Rafe advised dryly. aLife is hard enough without black-coated vultures croaking over you.a The boy snickered. aYessir.a The coin glittered and spun in a rapid arc as the youth threw it, caught it, and then pocketed it with a wide grin. He trotted across the street toward the mercantile, eager to share his adventure with the people who were watching from the safety of closed doors.

The wagon seat shifted and creaked as Wolfe climbed aboard. Jessica lifted the reins and the buggy whip, obviously preparing to drive them. Wolfe raised his black eyebrows in silent question.

aThere were more men in the saloon,a she said simply.

Wolfe slanted a look at the building, nodded, and began reloading the rifle as he made room for Rafe on the wagonas hard seat. When Rafe climbed aboard, the seat shifted and creaked again, complaining loudly of having to carry the weight of two large men.

aIf you can handle stock half as well as you handle that bullwhip, Cal will think heas died and gone to heaven,a Wolfe said as Jessica turned the horse toward the livery stable. aHeas got Indians and a freed slave riding herd for him when they feel like it, and Reno helps out when heas not haring after gold, but Cal is always short-handed. Come spring calving, youall look as golden as your hair.a aReno?a Rafe looked up from the whip he had been absently wiping clean and coiling. aIsnat that the third man who knows the San Juans like the back of his hand? You and Caleb being the other two, so Iam told.a aReno knows the country better than I do. Heas uncanny about land. But I suspect you know Reno better by another name,a Wolfe said, amus.e.m.e.nt clear in his voice.

aDo I?a drawled Rafe.

aMatthew Moran,a Wolfe said succinctly.

Relief went visibly through Rafe. aMatt? Heas all right then? The last letter I got from him, he sounded like he had his tail in a real tight crack.a aRenoas doing fine now, except heas a d.a.m.n fool for gold.a aJust like Iam a d.a.m.n fool for distant horizons.a Rafe grinned. aThe Moran men donat housebreak worth a bucket ofa"a He stopped abruptly, remembering Jessicaas presence. aEr, spit.a Wolfe smiled slightly. aNo man does, until he finds a woman like Willow.a The buggy whip hissed and snapped well above the wagon horseas brown flank. Rafeas gray glance touched Jessica appreciatively.

aOr like your wife,a Rafe said. aYou handle those reins very well, maaam.a Wolfeas eyes narrowed and all softness vanished from his expression. Rafe felt the tension snaking through the man who sat beside him on the narrow wagon seat.

aThe thing about a wanderer like me,a Rafe continued matter-of-factly, giving Wolfe a level look, ais that I can appreciate beautiful things without wanting to possess them. Possessions tie a man down. And nothing, no matter how rare or beautiful, will ever be as grand to me as the sunrise I havenat seen.a With a visible effort, Wolfe brought his anger under control. He knew it was unreasonable to respond so fiercely to Rafeas simple appreciation of Jessica. Yet there it was, reasonable or not, and there it would remain until Jessica came to her senses and sought an annulment, freeing both of them from an impossible situation.

But until that moment, Wolfe fought to maintain a self-control that became more difficult every night, every day, every hour spent in the company of a girl he couldnat have, would never take, and wanted until he lived on the breaking edge of rage at having to be so close to what must be forever beyond his reach.

aYouare very kind,a Jessica said quickly to Rafe, for she, too, had sensed Wolfeas anger. aBut no one can equal the paraa"er, Willow. I have a great deal of work ahead of me just to be an adequate Western wife.a Rafe frowned. aYouare rather delicately made for that kind of hardship.a aYou and my husband have something in common. You both equate strength with muscles.a aFor good reason,a Wolfe muttered.

aFor bad reason,a Jessica retorted. aFlowers are soft, frail, and, therefore, weak in your masculine estimation. Yet I will tell both of you fine, strong men somethinga"the same storm that brings down a mighty oak does little more than wash the delicate faces of the violets living at the oakas foot.a Rafe looked away quickly, trying to conceal his amus.e.m.e.nt at Jessicaas quickness. It was impossible. He gave Wolfe a rueful look and shook his head, laughing softly.

aSheas got us, Wolfe.a Wolfe grunted and looked around the muddy street one last time. No one was in sight. Wolfe hoped it would stay that way.

aI take it youare going to see Willow?a Wolfe asked, turning his attention back to the big blond man who was watching him with a masculine sympathy that was laced with equally masculine amus.e.m.e.nt.

aIam really looking for Matt, but I kept hearing about a Virginia lady who came out here last year with five fine Arabian horses. She was searching for her ahusband,a Matthew Moran.a Rafe shrugged. aI figured it had to be w.i.l.l.y. Sheas the only girl I know with gumption enough to set out across wild country alone, just to find a brother she hadnat seen in years.a Wolfeas face softened into a half-smile. aThatas Willow. They broke the mold when they made her.a Rafe noticed both the affection in Wolfeas voice and the shadow that drew Jessicaas face into unhappy lines. He lifted his hat, smoothed his bright hair with his hand, settled his hat once more with a jerk, and wondered if Caleb Black was a jealous sort of man.

aSounds like you know Willow real well,a Rafe said to Wolfe after a moment.

aWell enough.a aAnd Cal?a Belatedly, Wolfe caught the drift of Rafeas thoughts. He smiled thinly.

aCal is the best friend I have. Heas as big as you are, he has as much give in him as a granite cliff, heas greased lightning with his belt gun, and he loves Willow the way I never expected to see a man love anything, especially a man as hard as Caleb Black.a Rafeas eyebrow climbed. aHow does Willow feel about it?a aThe same way Cal does, a love you can touch. Seeing them together makes you believe that G.o.d did indeed know what He was doing when He created man and woman and gave them the earth for their children.a Jessica heard both the certainty and the subtle yearning in Wolfeas voice. She didnat know whether to weep or scream at the fresh evidence of Wolfeas deep admiration for his best friendas wife.

Wolfe didnat notice Jessicaas taut, unsmiling mouth. His full attention was on Rafe, who was thinking over all that Wolfe had said, and what he had not said, as well. Finally, Rafe sighed and shifted his weight, making the seat spring complain.

aGlad to hear that,a Rafe said. aw.i.l.l.y was such a soft little thing. I was always afraid life was going to chew her up and spit her out in little pieces.a aChew up a paragon?a Jessica said tightly as she pulled the horse to a halt in front of the livery stable. aI doubt that, Rafael. Life would choke to death on Willowas perfection. Dead life is a paradox to make the head ache. Not to mention the stomach.a At the last word, Jessica jammed the wagon whip back into its holder. When she looked up, Wolfe was watching her with veiled interest, measuring her anger. Abruptly, she knew she was simply sharpening a weapon he would turn on her at every opportunity. Yet even knowing that, she could neither stop the words nor diminish the deadly sweetness of her voice when she spoke.

aWould it be possible to stop singing the paragonas praises long enough to get on the trail?a Jessica asked. aWeare making the townspeople nervous.a aTHATaS the d.a.m.nedest rig I ever saw,a Rafe said, reining his horse alongside Jessicaas, aand Iave seen a few odd things in my wandering life.a Despite the bone-deep tiredness that gnawed at Jessica, she straightened in the sidesaddle and focused on Rafe, grateful to have something to take her mind off the wind.

Huge mountains rose all around the riders, their peaks invisible beneath a seething lid of slatecolored clouds. Climbing up in elevation was like riding back into winter. Wind took snow from the clouds and churned it into billowing veils of white. Wind pried at the snow on the ground, lifting particles of ice and turning them into a stinging, invisible rasp that scoured unprotected skin.

But most of all, the wind keened and moaned, prying at Jessicaas self-control to get to the nightmares beneath.

aDonat they have sidesaddles in Australia?a she asked quickly, unable to bear either the wind or her own thoughts.

aI didnat see any, but I didnat see more than a handful of white women, either.a Rafe glanced sideways at her. aIs it as uncomfortable as it looks?a With gritted teeth and a stifled moan, Jessica shifted her weight, trying to settle the voluminous skirts of her riding habit more comfortably around the sidesaddleas off-center horn.

aOn a gaited horse, over level country, for a few hours at a time, itas quite comfortable.a aBut old Two-Spotas only agaita is a trot that would shake the change out of a manas pocket,a Rafe finished for Jessica, aweave been riding sixteen hours a day for three days, and you look so worn Iad swear the sun would shine right through you.a The wind flexed, twisted, and howled down from the pa.s.s ahead, carrying the icy promise of more snow.

aI donat think the presence of sunlight is going to be a problem,a Jessica said, smiling briefly.

aAll the same, when Wolfe comes back from scouting ahead, Iall suggest that we make camp early tonight.a aNo.a The naked command in her own voice made Jessica wince. aI donat want to be the cause of any delay,a she added more gently. aIam stronger than I look. Truly.a aI know.a She gave Rafe a sideways look of disbelief.

aI mean it,a he said. aI wouldnat have bet you could get through the first day, much less the last two. But if you donat get more rest, youall have to be tied to that d.a.m.n fool saddle by this time tomorrow.a aThen thatas just what Wolfe will do. We have to get over the Great Divide before a real storm comes.a Rafeas mouth flattened beneath the light bronze beard stubble. He knew what was driving Wolfe. They had cut sign of other men headed for the pa.s.s over the Great Divide. In the last six hours, they had skirted areas where groups of men had camped in antic.i.p.ation of the coming storm. The closer they came to the pa.s.s, the more likely it became that they would stumble over other men.

aGold fever,a Rafe muttered. aWorse than cholera.a aI doubt it. Iave seen cholera go through a village like a scythe through a field of grain, leaving nothing standing, no adult living to bury the dead, and only a handful of children left alive to mourn.a He stared at Jessica, surprised again. aYou were one of them?a She nodded. aI was nine.a aSweet Jesus,a he muttered. aHow did you survive?a Jessica smiled wearily. aI keep telling you. Iam not as fragile as I look.a aI hope not,a Rafe said bluntly, aor you wonat make it over the pa.s.s. These mountains are as rough as the ones I saw in South America, and a d.a.m.n sight worse than anything Australia had to offer.a aYet these mountains fascinate you.a Rafe hesitated, surprised by Jessicaas insight. aI hadnat thought of it that way, but youare right. Of all the mountains Iave seen, these are different. Taller than G.o.d and meaner than the Devil, yet thereas a beauty in the basins and long valleysaa He made a soft, puzzled sound. aIt makes me feel like somewhere ahead thereas a cabin Iave never seen, a woman Iave never known, and both of them are waiting for me, filled with warmth.a aYouare a good man, Rafael Moran,a Jessica said, her voice husky with bittersweet emotion. aI hope you find them.a Rafe looked at Jessica with eyes that were the same color as the clouds. The sadness in her was almost tangible, as great as the weariness that made her lips pale and drawn.

A flicker of motion from the trail ahead distracted Rafe. Even as his hand wrapped around the b.u.t.t of the shotgun he carried, the burnt toast color of the big mare Wolfe had bought in Canyon City condensed out of the black and white of the landscape.

aWolfeas coming,a Rafe said, easing his shotgun back into its saddle scabbard.

Jessica nodded and fell back into the semi-daze that gripped her whenever she let down her guard.

Silently, Rafe decided to suggest an early camp if Wolfe didnat suggest it first. But when Wolfe rode up, he had an almost tangible aura of alertness around him. Even before he spoke, Rafe sensed that there would be no early camp.

aItas snowing in the pa.s.s,a Wolfe said tersely. aIf we donat get through now, weall have to make camp until the pa.s.s opens again. It could be a week or more. Even if we went without fire, it would be dangerous.a aA cold camp?a Rafe asked. aAre there more men ahead?a Wolfe nodded curtly.

aDid they see you?a aNo.a Wolfe reached into his saddle bag and withdrew a box of cartridges. aCut to the right after you cross the stream, skirt the base of the ridge, and wait for me in the forest on the other side.a Without warning, he snapped the box of cartridges in Rafeas direction. When the other man caught it with a motion of his hand that was so swift that it blurred, Wolfe smiled.

aYouare Renoas brother, all right. Fastest hands I ever saw, except maybe Calas.a Wolfeas smile faded. aHow are you with a long gun?a aBetter than some and a d.a.m.n sight worse than you.a aTake Jessicaas carbine. Ride with it across your saddle.a Rafe leaned over, lifted the carbine from Jessicaas saddle scabbard, and checked over the gun with the easy, economical motions of a man doing a familiar task.

aWhat about you?a Rafe asked without looking up.

aThereas a knoll about a thousand feet from their camp. I can watch them and you at the same time. If they start moving, Iall start shooting. Some of them are bound to get past, though. No way Iall get all nine before they get to cover.a A blond eyebrow climbed as Rafe realized that Wolfe was prepared to kill the men from ambush, if need be.

aYou know those boys?a Rafe asked.

aI had words with some of them at a stage stop.a Jessicaas breath came in audibly.

Rafe looked at her, then at Wolfe. aI see. In that case, Iall be happy to pick off the stragglers.a Wolfe smiled thinly. aIf anyone gets past me, watch out for a man with a brown, drooping mustache. Heas wearing a gray cavalry cape and riding a black Tennessee walking horse with three white socks. He has a hideout gun behind his belt buckle, but I wouldnat recommend letting him get close enough to use it.a aFriend of yours?a Rafe asked dryly.

aNever met the man. Cal killed his twin brother, Reno got the kid brother, and I got a couple of cousins, along with some other gang members.a aClaim jumpers?a Rafe asked.

aThey had it in mind. But first they took Willow. It was the last mistake those boys ever made.a Rafeas eyes narrowed.

aDonat give Jericho Slater an even break,a Wolfe continued. aThose Slaters make Quantrilas Raiders look like altar boys. If he finds out youare Renoas brother, heall kill you any way he can.a aIam an obliging sort of man,a Rafe said calmly. aIf a man comes to me with dying on his mind, I do my best to help him out.a The corner of Wolfeas mouth lifted. aIall just bet you do. Give me fifteen minutes to get in position. And watch for patches of ice ahead.a As he turned his horse, Jessica said urgently, aWolfe.a He reined in and looked over his shoulder.

aIaa Her voice died. She made an uncertain gesture with her hand. aBe careful.a He nodded, lifted the reins again, and sent his horse ahead on the trail at a ground-eating trot.

Fifteen minutes later, Jessica and Rafe followed. She rode tensely in the saddle, straining to hear rifle shots. All she heard was the empty, icy howl of the wind. It plucked at her already overstretched nerves until she felt as though she must scream just to shut out the windas endless keening.

The minutes pa.s.sed as though stretched upon a tanning rack. Jessica almost welcomed Two-Spotas bone-shaking trot simply as a distraction. Rafe didnat speak. Nor did she try to speak to him.

The ridge they skirted was overgrown with a combination of spruce and fir. The trees were a green so dark it looked black. Slender, whitebarked aspen grew along ravines. Not even a hint of green edged the aspensa graceful, ghostly branches, for spring hadnat yet come to the high country.

In the rare pauses in the wind, the horsesa breath came out in silvery plumes. The animals were working hard and the land was rising relentlessly beneath their feet. Patches of ice gleamed sullenly beneath the recent snow, making the footing tricky.

When Rafe and Jessica rounded the ridge and crossed a small clearing to the forest beyond, Wolfe was waiting for them. Jessicaas heart lifted as she looked at Wolfeas dark face and easy masculine power. The renewed realization of just how handsome her husband was broke over her in a wave. The trail clothes suited him. The austere mountains suited him. In his lean hands, the heavily inlaid rifle was revealed for the streamlined, no-nonsense weapon it really was.

And Wolfe was revealed for the man he really was; he had been born for this wild land rather than for the brocade and satin of civilization. Jessica understood that as surely as she understood that she loved Wolfe for what he was, that she had always loved him, and she always would.

The realization stunned her, sinking past layers of exhaustion to the raw emotion beneath.

aThey didnat see us,a Wolfe said. aToo busy drinking and playing cards. Jericho will have them picked cleaner than a houndas tooth before breakfast.a aGood at cards, huh?a Rafe asked.

aHeall do until you sit down with the Devil himself.a Wolfe took the lead once more, followed by Two-Spot and the pack horses. Rafe waited until they were a hundred yards ahead before he let his horse follow. He had kept Jessicaas carbine, and he rode with it across his saddle, listening for any sounds from behind.

Exhaustion reclaimed Jessicaas body in a numbing gray tide. She slumped in the saddle. Staring at nothing, she endured the endless trail as it became steeper and rougher. Along the left, a snowmantled slope dropped away a few feet from the trail. Jessica didnat notice. She was running on reflex alone, able to stay upright in the saddle but nothing more.

When Two-Step hit an icy patch and went down to his knees, she grabbed instinctively for the saddle horn, but it was too late. She was already pitching forward, beyond the reach of the curving, off-center horn. Two-Step lunged to the right, trying to regain his own balance. The sudden motion completed Jessicaas undoing. She hurtled from the sidesaddle onto the snow-covered slope and began rolling down in a flurry of skirts and flailing limbs.

The startled cry Jessica had given when her horse first went to its knees was the only warning Wolfe got. He turned sharply in the saddle just in time to see Jessica thrown head first down the slope. By the time he spun his horse on its hocks and reached Two-Spot, Jessicaas tumbling fall had been stopped by a thicket of alder. Recklessly, Wolfe spurred his horse down the slope to the place where Jessica lay without moving.

aJessi!a Wolfeas cry echoed, but there was no answer. He leaped from the saddle and ran the last few feet to Jessica, skidding to his knees beside her.

aJessi? Are you all right?a he asked urgently.

She didnat answer.

aTalk to me, elf,a Wolfe said, pushing snow away from Jessicaas face with fingers that showed a fine trembling. aIt wasnat that bad a fall. The snow is soft and deep, there werenat any rocks. Jessiaa Gentle fingers brushed snow from eyebrows and eyelashes that were like a shadow of fire, rich mahogany. They looked very dark against skin that was almost as pale as snow.

aYou canat be hurt, little one. G.o.d help me, you canat. d.a.m.n it, Jessi. Wake up.a Jessica groaned and tried to sit up. She got part way, only to be yanked flat by her braids, which were wedged beneath her own body. Too dazed to understand, she tried to sit up again, only to be brought up short once more.

Wolfe caught her before she could be yanked back down by her braids for a third time.

aSlow down, Jessi. Your hair has you on a short leash again.a aWolfe?a she asked raggedly. aIs it really you?a Aquamarine eyes focused on Wolfe, and cool fingers caressed the dark planes of his cheek.

aYes, elf. Itas really me.a The knowledge that Jessica was truly all right went through Wolfe like a cascade of champagne, making him feel lightheaded, almost dizzy. The memory of the other time Jessica had been trapped by her own long hair made amus.e.m.e.nt shimmer in Wolfe. He smiled widely as he helped her sit up.

aSometimes, youare like a kite with a long red tail that gets tangled in everything and hauls you up short.a As Wolfe pulled Jessicaas hair free, memories and relief coursed through him. He began laughing softly and he brushed snow from her.

The sound of Wolfeas amus.e.m.e.nt cleared Jessicaas mind like a brisk slap across her face. She tried to push away from him, but couldnat. Despite the laughter that kept shaking Wolfe, he hauled her to her feet as casually as he would have lifted a saddle.

For Jessica, it was the final insult. Fear, anger, hurt, exhaustion, and humiliation exploded into flaming rage. She didnat stop to think, didnat consider, didnat hesitate, didnat do one thing but grab for the hunting knife Wolfe wore sheathed at his belt. The action was so unexpected that she had the knife clear of the leather before he realized it. His hand closed around her wrist with the speed of a striking snake.

aWhat do you think youare doing?a Wolfe demanded.

Jessicaas mouth curled into what could only be described as a snarl. She yanked and twisted her wrist but couldnat get free.

aJessi! What the h.e.l.la? Did that fall knock out what little sense you had?a Breath shuddered through Jessica. She was exhausted, frightened, cold, and pain twisted through her right ankle with every movement; but most of all, she was violently angry at the viscountas savage, the man who took pleasure only in her failures.

aLet go of me.a The naked fury in Jessicaas voice wiped all trace of laughter from Wolfeas eyes and voice.

aNot until you tell me what youare going to do with that knife,a he said.

For the s.p.a.ce of three long breaths, Jessica looked at Wolfe without answering. Finally she glanced down at the knife in her hand as though surprised to find it. When she looked back at Wolfe, there was nothing of warmth or softness in her eyes.

aMy hair,a she said flatly.

aWhat?a aIam going to cut my b.l.o.o.d.y hair.a Black eyebrows lifted. aI think not. At the rate youare going, youad probably cut your own throat by mistake.a Or cut his, and not by mistake.

But neither of them said it aloud as Wolfe pried the knife from Jessicaas fingers with an easy strength that heaped more fuel on the fires of her fury.

aYou b.a.s.t.a.r.d,a she hissed.

He smiled thinly. aTrue fact, your ladyship.a aTwice a b.a.s.t.a.r.d,a she corrected. aOnce by birth and again by choice. You work me like a scullery maid, belittle my best efforts to be a wife, and then you laugh at my pain when Iam thrown from my horse because Iam so tired I canat stay awake in the sidesaddle any longer. You are a b.a.s.t.a.r.d.a Wolfeas face became expressionless. aSay the word and youare free. You know the word, your ladyship. Say it!a A stillness came over Jessica, a drawing in of strength and will that tightened her features until they looked like finely drawn wire.

aHusband.a The word was a hiss and Jessicaas smile was colder than snow itself.

aThatas the problem,a Wolfe said in a clipped voice. aIam your husband but you arenat my wife.a aI have a solution. Go to h.e.l.l. Youall find all the suffering there so amusing youall split your sides laughing and die on the spot. Then youall be free of me, husband. And not before.a Jessica turned away and began clawing back up the steep slope. As Wolfe watched, a faint smile that had little to do with amus.e.m.e.nt curved his mouth. Unbridled fury fairly radiated from every line of Jessicaas body. He had seen her in many moods, but never like this. The delicate little aristocrat had a temper to match the glorious fire hidden in her hair.

Wolfe couldnat help wondering if she would ever come to a manas bed with a fraction of the pa.s.sion she just had shown in rage. The thought of being the man to draw that primitive sensuality from Jessica brought a swift, elemental reaction from Wolfeas body that shocked him.

Cursing his masculine vulnerability to a girl who wished him in h.e.l.l, Wolfe looked away from Jessica until the hard rush of urgency subsided into an uncomfortable ache. He expected little more in the way of ease. A state of semi-arousal had become so much a part of him when Jessica was nearby that he no longer thought such discomfort unusual.

Wolfe looked back up the slope just in time to see Jessica stumble. At first he thought that her clumsiness came from anger. Then he watched her struggle to her feet, take two steps, and nearly go down again. Something was wrong with her right leg.

aHold on, Jessi,a Wolfe called. aIall help you.a Jessica didnat even bother to look back over her shoulder. Nor did she pause in her awkward attempts to get up the steep slope.

With a muttered word, Wolfe sheathed his knife and vaulted into the saddle. He spurred the big mare up the slope. Without bothering to rein in, Wolfe bent over and scooped Jessica up on the way by, holding her firmly against his thigh. When the mare reached the top of the slope, he reined in.

aSit astride in front of me,a Wolfe said in a clipped voice.

As he spoke, he lifted Jessica over the mareas chocolate brown mane. The divided riding skirt finally sorted itself out into right and left sides allowing her to sit astride in the big saddle. The intimacy of the arrangement registered instantly on Wolfeas body, making hot talons of need sink into him. His breath thickened over the kind of words he had never in his life used in a womanas presence and didnat want to begin using now.

aStay put,a he said tightly.

Jessica didnat answer, but she didnat try to dismount, either. Wolfe slid off on the right side in a single flowing movement. His hands went to the small, booted foot that poked from the snowclotted folds of cloth.

aWhere does it hurt?a Jessica glanced at Wolfe. She didnat have to look far. Even sitting on horseback, she had very little height on him. She hadnat his strength, either. She had nothing but the certainty that she would rather die than go back to being a bright marker on the gaming table of aristocratic marriages.

She would rather die than live as her mother had.

Memory and nightmare twisted suddenly, sending a shudder through Jessica. Before the tremor had pa.s.sed, Jessica understood that she had one other certainty, as well: Wolfe would never accept this marriage; he would only become more cruel in his efforts to drive her away.

You will rue the day you forced me into marriage. There are worse things than being caressed by a savage. You shall learn each one of them.

Now, too late, Jessica believed Wolfe. Now, too late, she knew there was nothing left to stand between her and the wind.

aWhere does it hurt?a Wolfe repeated impatiently.

aIt doesnat.a Wolfeas head snapped up. He had never heard that tone from Jessica before, a sound as unemotional and unmusical as stone. Her eyes were the same way. Opaque.

aI saw you limping.a aIt doesnat matter.a The flare of temper in Wolfeas eyes was replaced by uneasiness.