One Year Book of Devotions for Men Part 50

aIncredible follya! That is how adultery is described in Proverbs 5:23. But in secular society, adultery is characterized in more glowing terms: as.e.xual freedom,a aadult entertainment,a amature adventure,a afree love.a Who is right about adultery? Is it something to be embraced, or something to be avoided?

Look at the facts. Adultery can mean that ayou will lose your honora as well as your fortunes (5:9). Having spent years building a solid reputation for integrity and generating respect in the community, the adulterer finds himself exposed as a cheat. Heas cheated his wife and kids, and he has shown that he is not above lying to save his own skin. Should his wife react by legitimately terminating the marriage, astrangers will obtain [his] wealth, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of [his] labora (5:10). His afree love,a he discovers, is not at all cheap!

Then there is the unpalatable truth that s.e.xually transmitted diseases are common among the unfaithful, so the adulterer may agroan in anguish when disease consumes [his] bodya (5:11). He will no doubt bear his share of shame and find reason to reflect on his own lack of discipline. He may even be wise enough to admit, aI have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgracea (5:14).

Modern society is certainly blas about adultery, but shame and stigma, ruin and regret are still part of the package. The allure of adultery masks the reality of moral, social, spiritual, and financial ruin. He therefore takes steps to avoid the adulterous path, to banish the adulterous thought, and to discipline the adulterous desire. He will also nurture the romantic and s.e.xual love of his wife, so that adulterous attraction is not so alluring because his desires are being appropriately sated and his commitments are being totally fulfilled.

Selfishness is the main reason for stress in all aspects of marriage. Unselfishness is the best cure for marital ills. Selfish people want their s.e.xual needs fulfilled, while unselfish people desire to meet the needs of their partner. Selfish people make s.e.xual demands, unselfish people give s.e.xual satisfaction. Any man whose wife meets his s.e.xual needs as he meets hers will find he has no desire to stray, and adultery will be far from his mind. He will cherish his wife and be cherished in return. His honor will remain intact; his integrity will be unsullied. Anything less is aincredible folly.a

November 16

TO READ: Proverbs 7:1-27

Seduction

Love wisdom like a sister; make insight a beloved member of your family. Let them hold you back from an affair with an immoral woman, from listening to the flattery of an adulterous woman. . . . Her house is the road to the grave. Her bedroom is the den of death.

Proverbs 7:4-5, 27

Seduction wears many dresses, all of them attractive. Sometimes her dress is s.e.xy. Other times it reeks of money. Some days she wears her power suit. Seduction is all about money, s.e.x, and power.

Seduction has to wear heavy makeup to hide the blemishes. She wishes to convey a message that is fundamentally false. She presents her message wella"sweet as honey, smoother than oil, laden with flattery, and offering great reward for little expense.

aCome with me,a says seduction in her pricey dress. aI can offer you a deal that will make you rich. No risk, no questions asked, no downside, only profit. Together weall laugh all the way to the bank.a And the seductive words work. Hadnat he been particularly chosen for this opportunity because of his unique abilities? Wasnat this deal especially for him because he had been such a good friend? The offer is too good to be truea"because it isnat true. Smart as he is, seduction makes him like a asimpleminded young man who lacked common sensea (7:7).

Later, seduction comes to the man dressed to kill, alluringly perfumed and whispering promises of unimaginable delights. Does he need to be a.s.sured that his manhood is not diminished, that he is still attractive? She says she finds him irresistible, and her husband is away so n.o.body will know. To salve his conscience, she a.s.sures him that she, too, is religious: aIave offered my sacrifices and just finished my vowsa (7:14). So he goes with her, alike a bird flying into a snare, little knowing it would cost him his lifea (7:23).

Later, seduction comes offering power at a bargain price. Just cut a couple of corners and the resulting prestige and position will place him among the movers and the shakers. Just think how much good he can do there! Itas an offer he cannot refuse.

But he should refuse, because embracing seduction leads to sin. And athe wages of sin is deatha (Rom. 6:23). So seductionas pretty dress becomes a burial shroud. aHer house is the road to the grave. Her bedroom is the den of deatha (Prov. 7:27).

The wise man knows enough to refuse seductionas blandishments. He embraces G.o.das instructions, he orders his life according to the dictates of his Lord, and he stands strong in the power of the Spirit. In standing, the wise man is strengthened in resolve and character, in reputation and honor.

November 17

TO READ: Proverbs 10:1-22

Getting Rich

Lazy people are soon poor; hard workers get rich. A wise youth works hard all summer; a youth who sleeps away the hour of opportunity brings shame.

Proverbs 10:4-5

Lazy people are soon poor; hard workers get richa (10:4). Proverbs like this are generally true, but there seem to be exceptions to every rule. There are some lazy people who seem to have the Midas touch: they do very little but what they touch turns to gold. By the same token, there are hard workers who never seem to be able to dig themselves out of the hole of their financial misfortune.

That said, there is great wisdom in reminding people who choose not to work that the result will be poverty, and athe poverty of the poor is their calamitya (10:15). The lazy person may blame his calamity on everything but himself. But the root of his problem lies between his two ears: his att.i.tude toward work is all wrong. He neither sees work as a privilege nor recognizes the n.o.bility of labor. He doesnat like work, and he feels obliged to avoid everything he does not like. It matters not to him that G.o.d worked and that Jesus spent the bulk of his life in honest toil. He is oblivious to the benefits of using his G.o.d-given time and talents, and he is not interested in producing something of value that will enrich the life of a needy person. Truly, a man awho sleeps away the hour of opportunity brings shamea (10:5).

On the other hand, the man who sets about his work with energy and determination usually provides abundantly for his dependents and produces enough to give generously to those in need. aThe earnings of the G.o.dly enhance their livesa (10:16). He has the means to offer to the Lord the fruit of his labor, and in the glow of this worshipful activity, the Lordas work prospers through the work of his hands. Such a man is aware that, while his work is productive, athe blessing of the Lord makes a person richa (10:22)a"it is the Lord who gives a man the ability to get wealth! The wise man knows it, utilizes the abilities he has been granted, and mingles his sweat with praise and his energies with thanksgiving.

So while there are n.o.ble poor people and rich rascals, as a general rule the lazy languish and the productive prosper. Those who work hard can take delight in a job well done, and they enjoy the benefits of things well earned. But those who lie lazily in self-induced poverty take delight in very little, for they have little that is delightful to enjoy.

November 18

TO READ: Ecclesiastes 2:1-12

Money and Meaning

But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless. It was like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere.

Ecclesiastes 2:11

Men are more than animalsa"but that doesnat mean we are happier. Animals search for food, while men search for meaning. Animals are driven by instinct, men by desire. Animals forage happily in the mud, while men look to the stars and ponder existence. Animals sleep peacefully in holes in the ground, while men toss and turn fitfully on beds of ease. Animals find contentment in little, but men find dissatisfaction in plenty. What are we missing?

Men find some satisfaction in working hard, but we always look for something more. We translate work into money and channel money into everything our heart desires. With money a man can put food on the table and a roof over his head. With more money he can fill his belly with delicacies, his home with treasures, his garage with vintage cars, and his cellar with vintage wine. Money will buy him abundant pleasure. But pleasure generates an appet.i.te for morea"grander experiences, bigger thrills, costlier adventures. Then, after desperately pursuing pleasure and purchasing all that money can buy, he retires to his bed and wonders why he is still unfulfilled, why life seems so meaningless.

These are often the musings a successful man has in his heart. Remarkably, these were the same questions that Koheleth, which means athe Teacher,a had about his experiences in antiquity. The questions are not newa"they bothered men in bygone yesterdays as much as they do today. This suggests that these struggles for meaning and fulfillment are not the products of circ.u.mstances so much as the results of a common human experience of dissatisfaction.

It is true that G.o.d arichly gives us all we need for our enjoymenta (1 Tim. 6:17). Then why is it that man has difficulty finding that enjoyment? It is because he forgets the G.o.d who gives the things, and he subst.i.tutes the things for G.o.d! Man too often trusts in temporal things that pa.s.s away, rather than in the eternal Lord from whom all things come.

So what should a man do? He should work as an act of worship to the Lord, who gives him the ability to work. Then he should treat his earnings as treasures that G.o.d has committed to him to manage, and he should administer these resources in a way that pleases the Lord. He will discover that the purpose of life is not to make money but to serve and enjoy the G.o.d who made everything!

November 19

TO READ: Psalm 103

G.o.das Tender Mercies

Praise the LORD, I tell myself, and never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He ransoms me from death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies.

Psalm 103:2-4

Genuine appreciation is enthusiastica"it eagerly enrolls others in joyful acknowledge- ment and celebration. David is a good example. He said, aThe Lord has made the heavens his throne; from there he rules over everythinga (103:19). David found this so encouraging and such a reason for rejoicing that he took delight in praise and exhorted the whole created order to recognize and rejoice that G.o.d is firmly on the throne.

The only problem with visions of G.o.d, high and lifted up on his throne, is that he can appear to be remote and inaccessible, removed from us and unmoved by the vicissitudes of life that we endure. But nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, the wonder of the divine-human relationship is that the transcendent Lord is immanent (close by). He who rules the heavens and the earth is neither unaware of nor unconcerned about the intimate details of our lives.

So tender are G.o.das thoughts toward us that he continually bears in mind that we are frail, fallen, and finite. aThe Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compa.s.sionate to those who fear him. For he understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dusta (103:13-14). G.o.d is painfully aware of our limitations. He knows all about our sinful disposition, and he recognizes how tenuous our hold on life is. So he deals with us accordinglya"both firmly and tenderly.

This does not mean that G.o.d overlooks our failings or excuses our sin. On the contrary, he holds us responsible, but he makes a way for us to be forgiven through the gracious work of Christ on the cross. In fact, aHe forgives all my sins and heals all my diseasesa (103:3). We should remember that our sins will finally be forgiven, our diseases will finally be healed, and we will be finally ransomed from death when we are finally with him in heaven. All this is because of Christ. In the meantime, we can say with David, aHe fills my life with good thingsa (103:5)a"and we can be grateful.

We need to keep telling ourselves of G.o.das tender mercies because we have an ingrained tendency to forget. We must take steps to anever forget the good things he doesa for us (103:2). As we consider these things, each of us, whatever his frame of mind, should stop and say, aAs for mea"I, too, will praise the Lorda (103:22). Recollecting G.o.das tender mercies makes for warm hearts, and warm hearts warm up other hearts to apraise his holy namea (103:1).

November 20

TO READ: Song of Songs 4:1a"5:1

Intimacy and Ecstasy

aAwake, north wind! Come, south wind! Blow on my garden and waft its lovely perfume to my lover. Let him come into his garden and eat its choicest fruits.a Young Man: aI am here in my garden, my treasure, my bride! I gather my myrrh with my spices and eat my honeycomb with my honey. I drink my wine with my milk.a Young Women of Jerusalem: aOh, lover and beloved, eat and drink! Yes, drink deeply of this love!a Song of Songs 4:16a"5:1

Men are aroused by what they see, while women are more often awakened by what they hear and feel. Masculine arousal is much closer to the surface, and menas s.e.xual appet.i.tes are more rapidly satisfied than those of their loved one. To the extent that these generalizations are true, the possibilities for misunderstanding, disappointment, and frustration abound.

The young man in this poem is entranced with the physical endowments of his wife and is eager to tell her all that he feels about her. The very recital of his appreciation warms her heart and stirs her desire for him.

Men today can learn a lesson at this point. Rather than embarking on lovemaking without preamble, warning, or preparation, the caring husband will take the time to understand his mate and to bring her along with him in intimacy and ecstasy. He does not a.s.sume she will move at his speed and be satisfied as he is satisfied. He knows better than to rush her before she is ready and to roll over and go to sleep just as she is getting interested.

In the poem, the young woman is without doubt interested in her loveras lovemaking. In response to him she exclaims, aAwake, north wind! Come, south wind! Blow on my garden and waft its lovely perfume to my lover. Let him come into his garden and eat its choicest fruitsa (4:16). There can be even less doubt that the man will readily respond to the invitation! She is ready, and he is ready, to enjoy mutual fulfillment and satisfaction. aOh, lover and beloved, eat and drink! Yes, drink deeply of this love!a (5:1).

The language of the poem may not be exactly to our taste (4:1-11, for example). It is unlikely that most modern Western women would be excited to hear that their teeth remind their lover of shorn sheep or that their hair is reminiscent of flocks of goats! We need to employ erotic language of our own. But there is no mistaking the ancient loversa legitimate eroticism. Neither is there any confusion about the limits of their s.e.xual enjoyment. They regarded each other as the aprivate gardena reserved exclusively for the other (4:12). No one else was allowed to enjoy the fruits.