One Hundred Merrie And Delightsome Stories Part 12

STORY THE FIFTEENTH -- THE CLEVER NUN.

By Monseigneur De La Roche

_Of a nun whom a monk wished to deceive, and how he offered to shoo her his weapon that she might feel it, but brought with him a companion whom he put forward in his place, and of the answer she gave him._

In the fair country of Brabant, near to a monastery of white monks (*), is situated a nunnery of devout and charitable nuns, but their name and order need not be mentioned.

(*) Either Carthusians, who wear white robes and hoods, or Dominicans who wear white robes and black hoods.

The two convents being close together, there was always a barn for the threshers, as the saying is, for, thank G.o.d, the nuns were so kind-hearted that few who sought amorous intercourse with them were refused, provided only they were worthy to receive their favours.

But, to come to the story, there was amongst these white monks, a young and handsome monk who fell in love with one of the nuns, and after some preliminaries, had the courage to ask her for the love of G.o.d to grant him her favours.

The nun, who knew how he was furnished, though she was by nature courteous, gave him a harsh and sharp reply. He was not to be rebuffed, however, but continued to implore her love with most humble requests, until the pretty nun was forced either to lose her reputation for courtesy, or give the monk what she had granted to many others as soon as she was asked.

She said to him; "Truly you weary me with requests for that which honestly I ought not to give you. But I have heard what sort of weapon you carry, and if it be so you have not much to thank Nature for."

"I do not know who told you," replied the monk, "but I am sure that you will be satisfied with me, and I will prove to you that I am as good a man as any other."

"Oh, yes. I believe you are a man," said she "but your machine is so small that if you were to put it in a certain place, I should hardly know that it was there."

"It is quite the reverse," said the monk, "and, if I were in that place, I would do so well that you would confess that those who gave me that reputation were liars."

After these fair speeches, the kind nun, that she might know what he could do, and perhaps not forgetting her own share in the pleasure, told him to come to the window of her cell at midnight; for which favour he thanked her gratefully.

"But at any rate," said she, "you shall not enter until I really know what sort of lance you carry, and whether you can be of use to me or not."

"As you please," replied the monk, and with that he quitted his mistress, and went straight to Brother Conrad, one of his companions, who was furnished, G.o.d knows how well, and for that reason was much esteemed in the nunnery.

To him the young monk related how he had begged a favour of such an one, and how she had refused, doubting whether his foot would fit her shoe, but in the end had consented that he should come to her, but would first feel and know with what sort of lance he would charge against her shield.

"I have not," said he, "a fine thick lance, such as I know she would desire to meet. Therefore I beg of you with all my heart, to come with me this night at the hour when I am to meet her, and you will do me the greatest service that ever one man did to another. I know very well that she will want to touch and handle the lance, and this is what you must do. You will be behind me; but do not speak. Then take my place, and put your great machine in her hand. She will open the door then, I expect, and you will go away and I will enter in,--and leave the rest to me."

Brother Conrad greatly doubted whether it would happen as his friend wished, but he agreed to do as he was asked. At the appointed hour they set forth to visit the nun. When they came to the window, the young monk, who was more eager than a stallion, knocked once with his stick, and the nun did not wait for him to knock a second time, but opened the window, and said in a low voice;

"Who is there?"

"It is I," he replied; "Open your door, lest anyone should hear us."

"By my faith," quoth she, "you shall not be entered on the roll of my lovers, until you have pa.s.sed a review, and I know what equipments you have. Come hither, and show me what it is like."

"Willingly," said he.

Then Brother Conrad took his place, and slipped into the nun's hand his fine, powerful weapon, which was thick, long, and round. But as soon as she felt it she recognized it, and said;

"No! No! I know that well enough. That is the lance of Brother Conrad.

There is not a nun here who does not know it! You thought I should be deceived, but I know too much for you! Go and try your luck elsewhere!"

And with that she closed the window, being very angry and ill-pleased, not with Brother Conrad, but with the other monk; and they after this adventure, returned to their convent, pondering over all that had happened.

[Ill.u.s.tration: 16.jpg ON THE BLIND SIDE.]

STORY THE SIXTEENTH -- ON THE BLIND SIDE. [16]

By Monseigneur Le Duc.

_Of a knight of Picardy who went to Prussia, and, meanwhile his lady took a lover, and was in bed with him when her husband returned; and how by a cunning trick she got her lover out of the room without the knight being aware of it._

In the County of Artois there lived formerly a n.o.ble knight, rich and powerful, and married to a beautiful dame of high family. These two lived together for long, and pa.s.sed their days in peace and happiness.

And because the most powerful Duke of Burgundy, Count of Artois, and their lord, was then at peace with all the great princes of Christendom, the knight, who was most devout, reflected that he ought to offer to G.o.d the body which had been given him, and which was fair and strong, and as well-formed as that of any man in that country, save that he had lost an eye in a battle. To perform the vow he had made,--after he had taken leave of his wife and relatives, he betook himself to the n.o.ble knights of Prussia,--the true defenders of the holy-Christian church (*); and in Prussia he fought valiantly and had many adventures--which I pa.s.s over here--and at the end was safe and sound, though he had shown great prowess, and the reports of his valour had been widely spread about by those who had seen them and returned to their own country, or by the letters they had written to many who had heard of his deeds with much pleasure.

(*) Doubtless there was a confusion In the writer's mind between Prussia and Hungary, and he alludes to the Crusade against the Turks which ended disastrously for the Crusaders in 1396, and in which Jean sans Peur and many Burgundian knights took part.

Now you must know that his lady, who stayed at home, had bestowed her affection on a squire who sought her love, and was glad to have a subst.i.tute for her liege lord, who was away fighting the Saracens.

Whilst my lord was fasting and doing penance, my lady made good cheer with the squire; often did my lord dine and sup on bread and water, whilst my lady was enjoying all the good things which G.o.d had given her in plenty; my lord,--if he could do no better,--lay upon straw, and my lady rested in a fine bed with the squire.

To cut matters short, whilst my lord was fighting the Saracens, my lady was indulging in another sort of combat with the squire, and did so well thereat, that if my lord had never returned he would not have been much missed or regretted.

The knight finding that--thanks be to G.o.d--the Saracens were no longer on the offensive; and that it was a long time since he had seen his home, and his good wife, who much desired and regretted him, as she had many times told him in her letters, prepared to return, and started with the few retainers he had. And he fared so well, owing to the great desire he had to return to his home, and the arms of his wife, that in a few days he was near there.

Being more anxious than any of his followers, he was always the first to rise, and the foremost on the journey. In fact, he made such speed that he often rode alone, a quarter of a league or more ahead of his retainers.

One day, it chanced the knight had lodged about six leagues from his home. He rose early in the morning and mounted his horse, intending to arrive at his house before his wife, who knew nothing of his coming, was awake.

He set out as he intended, and, when on the road, he said to his followers, "Come at your leisure; there is no need for you to follow me.

I will ride on fast that I may surprise my wife in bed."

His retainers being weary, and their horses also, did not oppose his wishes, but travelled along at their ease, though they had some fears for the knight, who rode thus fast in the dark and alone.

He made such speed that soon he was in the courtyard of his castle, where he found a serving-man, to whom he gave his horse; then, in his boots and spurs, he went straight, and without meeting any one, for it was yet early in the morning, towards the chamber where my lady slept, and where the squire was doing that which the knight longed to do.

You may guess that the squire and the lady were both astonished when the knight thundered on the door--which was locked--with his staff.

"Who is there?" asked the lady.

"It is I," replied the knight. "Open the door!"