On Every Side Part 22

A look of raw pain flooded Heidi's face. "All these years...I thought... I thought he was dead."

"I know. We looked at the state foster care files today"

"Today?" Heidi's eyes grew wide. "You mean you were with him today? I thought with the...well, the two of you are on opposite sides of this thing." She stared at her hands. "I didn't think you'd be talking."

Faith saw a pink tinge shade her cheeks. Was she ashamed of her brother's involvement in the case? Compa.s.sion flooded Faith's heart.

"It's a long story." Faith's voice grew somber as Jordan's words flitted through her mind again. "The G.o.d you serve is my enemy... "

"Your brother's very hurt, Heidi. He spent most of his life looking for you. And after today..."

"What'd the files say?" Heidi's eyes grew dark.

"That Jordan was killed in the camp accident. There wasn't enough adoption information in yours for Jordan to have any hope of finding you." Faith could still see the sorrow on Jordan's face as he read the report. "After that he figured he was out of options."

Heidis face twisted. She sat back in the chair, covered her face with her hands, and cried as though her heart were being ripped to shreds. She spoke through the s.p.a.ces between her fingers, her voice was little more than a m.u.f.fled cry." All those years... thinking he was dead. We've lost so much time." She wept harder than before. "And now... he's not the person he was."

Faith dropped to her knees and embraced Heidi, smoothing her hand over the back of her head. "His views, his beliefs are different-but deep down, Jordan's still the same." She wanted to be honest, but Heidi had to believe there was hope. Faith remembered her night with Jordan at Jericho Park." Sometimes when we've been together...I've felt like he was exactly the same."

Heidi leaned back and reached for a tissue on the coffee table. She held the paper to her face, letting her head rest in her hands for several seconds. When she looked up she gave Faith a weak smile, "I'm sorry. I didn't plan to break down."

"Don't be sorry. It's right to grieve the years you've lost. You must have been devastated when you thought he was killed."

Lines of confusion appeared on Heidi's forehead. "So what happened? At the camp, I mean? How did they get it so mixed up?"

Faith exhaled and moved back to her chair, her eyes fixated on a crack in the ceiling. "A cave collapsed. Nineteen boys were working inside and Jordan was one of them. He could easily have been killed, Heidi. He and another boy were the only ones who got out alive." She met Heidi's questioning eyes." He spent a day in the hospital, but he was fine." She paused, knowing the details wouldn't help Heidi with the fact that she'd been given wrong information. Lord, give her strength...please... "I don't know where the error came from-the camp officials or the hospital. But it doesn't matter now. Someone from the camp contacted another camp-out of state-and Jordan never returned to Southridge. My guess is his records are active somewhere in New Jersey."

"New Jersey?"

Faith's heart sank. She'd forgotten how much of Jordan's story Heidi didn't know. "Yes. He spent the rest of his school years in New Jersey He went to college there on a baseball scholarship. He was never adopted but he did very well. He went to law school, pa.s.sed the bar exam, and took a job with HOUR." Faith pursed her lips and glanced down. "He's one of their best attorneys."

"And you think it's because he's hurting, maybe even mad at the Lord?"

Faith looked at Heidi through a fresh layer of tears. "I know that's why. He told me so himself."

Heidi shook her head and closed her eyes. "I've been praying for him ever since you told me... the whole way over here."

Praying for him? A surge of hope worked its way through Faith. "So you're... you still..."

"Believe?" Heidi opened her eyes again. "My relationship with Christ pulled me through. Without Him..." Faith could see her struggling to control her emotions. Heidi swallowed hard and straightened. "I never would have made it."

The bond between them was growing, and Faith was glad. "I'm so glad for you...I hoped your love for G.o.d was strong. Something in the way you spoke, the light in your eyes..."

"My husband's the same way."

"Husband?" Faith realized there were still lots more details to be discussed.

"Oh, Faith, he's wonderful... my perfect match." My perfect match For some reason as Heidi said the words, Faith was surrounded by invisible images of Jordan. She saw him talking with her at the diner, sitting with her on the park bench, making her feel fl.u.s.tered and more connected to him than any-one in the world. Just like he'd made her feel that long-ago win-ter. She shook off the memories and the bittersweet feeling that wedged itself in her heart. While Heidi and her husband had been building their life together, she'd wasted years with Mike Dillan and spent months learning to walk again after her car acci-dent.

Where's my perfect match, Lord? Obviously it isn't Jordan Riley. And where is Rosa Lees match?

Be strong and courageous, daughter. I know the plans I have for you.

A sense of peace washed over Faith at the silent rea.s.surance, and she smiled at Heidi. "Tell me about him."

Her eyes sparkled, like a little girl about to describe her favorite birthday gift. "He's kind and loving and it breaks his heart that I lost my mother and Jordan when I was ten years old." Heidi's eyes grew softer. "We just moved to Bethany this fall. He's a pediatrician at the new clinic." Her eyes lit up. "Oh, and five weeks ago we had our first baby A little girl."

"Five weeks!" Faith hadn't even considered the idea that Heidi might have a child or children, that Jordan was an uncle. "Wow, Heidi, you look great... you'd never know What's her name?"

Heidi's eyes lifted to meet Faith's. "Jordan Lee."

More tears fell as both of them wept again, and something inside Faith swelled at the thought of seeing Jordan with his baby niece, an infant named after him. "Well, that settles it. You'll have to dress her up tomorrow"

"Why?" Heidi lowered her eyebrows.

"Because-" Faith grinned as she imagined the next day- "tomorrow's the day Jordan Lee gets to meet her uncle."

At nine o'clock the next morning Jordan was lounging in bed, watching an old Western on cable. He had plans to join the local leader of a small, human-rights group for dinner-a meeting that would give him a window to the area's less popular viewpoint regarding the Jesus statue. Jordan remembered the conversation he'd had with the man-Wally Walters--after the last press con-ference.

"We've hated that statue as far back as I can remember. In fact, we wrote a pet.i.tion asking the city to tax anyone who wanted to keep it standing." Walters had gone on, describing his frustration in language littered with four-letter words.

Jordan had doubts about the productivity of such a dinner, and bigger doubts about the man himself. He was a lumbering hulk who towered six-five and had a tendency to spit when he talked. Jordan had wanted to know how many people were in Walter's local group and how many of those were opposed to the Jesus statue. The first three times Jordan asked, Wally avoided answering. Finally, when pressed for a specific number, Wally admitted he and a beer-drinking buddy of his were the group's only two official members. And both of them wanted the statue removed or walled up for good." There are others, though, mark my words. They're just afraid to share their viewpoint what with the whole town ripe full of Jesus freaks."

Jordan rubbed his cheek, recalling the spray of saliva that had accompanied Walter's complaint. He stretched his legs to the end of the bed and yawned. What a waste of time. He thought of the cases he could be researching, the hours he could be billing back at the firm. The only good thing that had come from spending a week in Bethany was the fact that he finally knew the truth about Heidi.

For all the good it would do him.

He doubled the pillow behind his head and sat up straighter. Since reading his sister's file he'd made a decision. This time when he left Bethany-regardless of the outcome of the case-he was finished looking for her. After all, it wasn't as though Heidi was longing for him to turn up, searching for him, desperate to be reunited.

She thought he was dead.

Jordan pondered that and realized it wasn't far from the truth. The Jordan Riley she had known and loved had been dead since the day they took him to Southridge.

He flipped the channel to ESPN and stared at the screen absently, remembering Faith and her prayer that G.o.d help them find Heidi. He huffed under his breath and flipped back to the Western. How naive Faith still was after all these years. Couldn't she see it? G.o.d hadn't been there when that football player raked her over the coals... He hadn't been there when she gave up her safety for the life of a child and wound up in a coma for two months...He hadn't been there when her father died decades younger than he should have, and in the middle of doing G.o.d's work, no less. He chuckled lightly and shook his head.

Faith was a fool.

Oh, there was no denying the power she still held over him, the way her presence made him long to run off with her to a mountain retreat where politics and religion didn't exist. But that wasn't possible. If Faith was still able to cling to her beliefs after all she'd been through, all she'd watched Jordan go through, then nothing would make her let go. She'd be a believer to the day she died, and that counted Jordan out completely.

"Ah, Faith..."

He remembered the way he felt with her so close to him. "If only I could change your mind. You and I would be so good togeth-"

The phone rang, and Jordan stared at it strangely Was it Hawkins again? Didn't the man ever rest? Jordan tried to decide whether his boss would be frustrated that he wasn't holding another press conference that morning or grateful he wasn't out fraternizing with the enemy. He picked up the phone, his mood suddenly sour. "h.e.l.lo?"

The caller paused, and at first Jordan thought it was a wrong number. He was about to hang up when he heard her. "Hi... it's me, Faith."

Jordan closed his eyes and felt his body relax. Even if he never saw her again after this week, nothing would change the way she made him feel. "Hey, what's up?"

"I need to talk to you... today say around one o'clock?" There was an urgency in her voice.

"Why?"

"Something's come up. I can't talk about it on the phone."

Jordan opened his eyes, sat up on the edge of the bed, and rested his elbows on his knees. As emotional as he'd been the past month it probably wasn't a good idea to spend time alone with her. Each time it was more difficult not to touch her face, to pull her close and...

He inhaled sharply. "It just so happens I have an opening at one."

She laughed, and the sound was like music from a favorite song he hadn't heard in years. "Okay see you there."

"Wait..." A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Where?"

"Oh, right." She was suddenly in a hurry. "Jericho Park, near the swings."

"Jericho Pa-" In the full-length mirror opposite the bed, Jordan watched his face grow dark. "If this is some kind of media event I need to know what's hap-"

There was a pause. "You should know me better than that." Hurt rang loud and clear in Faith's voice as she cut him off. "This has nothing to do with the case."

He felt his shoulders slump. "I'm sorry. It's just... there's been so much pressure from the office to stay on top of the media." He rubbed his forehead. "Why am I telling you this?"

There was silence for a moment. "Because deep down, where your heart lives, you still trust me."

He uttered a nearly silent laugh. Faith, if only you knew... What I feel for you goes much deeper than trust and friendship. "You think so, huh?"

She picked up on his teasing tone. "Yes, and besides, I'm probably the only friend you have in town."

"That's not true." His grin was back. "I'm having dinner with Wally Walters."

"You and old Wally?" Faith laughed again, and Jordan felt warmed with relief that she wasn't mad at him for doubting her. "I didn't know they let him out at night."

"Very funny"

She was giggling harder now. "Let's just say your one o'clock appointment will make up for it."

"Okay." He stood up and wandered toward the closet area. The day looked a hundred times brighter than it had before her phone call. "But Faith..."

"What?"

"You'll have to prove it to me."

She didn't laugh. "I don't think that's going to be a problem."

Twenty-six.

Heidi's heart raced as she sat in the parking lot at Jericho Park and waited for Faith to show up. It was almost one, and Faith had promised she'd be there before Jordan. Heidi glanced at her baby daughter sleeping so peacefully in the backseat, and then at the driveway She willed Faith's car to appear.

Come on... get here...

Her breaths came in short bursts, and her hands were sweaty against the steering wheel. She couldn't remember being this ner-vous about anything in her life. Conversations with the Lord had done nothing to ease her anxiety, and in the twelve hours since seeing Faith the night before, she'd had only a few moments of restless sleep. After crying herself to sleep weeks on end as a child and living with a hole in her heart since Jordan's supposed death, she could hardly believe she was about to see him again.

But there was a nagging doubt she couldn't quite shake. The last time she and Jordan were together, he'd been her hero, her protector. Now, he was the one hurting and they had moved miles apart in their walks with G.o.d.

What if Jordan didn't like her? What if all they had was surface talk and promises of Christmas cards? How would she handle that?

"And we know that in all things G.o.d works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his pur-pose." The words from the book of Romans played over and over in her mind ...those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose... called according to His purpose... called according to His purpose...

Her heartbeat slowed, and she felt peace come over her like a protective shield. Jordan might be fighting G.o.d now, but the Bible was full of such men. Paul, for instance. Paul had overseen the killing of Christians, and yet G.o.d had still used him. Certainly Jordan had been called by G.o.d. He had given his heart to the Lord long before their mother got sick. Heidi leaned back in her seat and smiled.

Okay, G.o.d, I believe You... There's a plan in all this. But please... hurry up and show me.

Faith pulled into the driveway ten minutes before one and immediately found Heidi's car. Her heart soared as though it had wings. Lord, You're so good. I can't believe this is happening. Heidi and Jordan would want time alone, so Faith had decided to bring Rosa. School was out and the child loved spending an hour or two at Jericho Park. She shot a look back at Rosa Lee and grinned. "Honey we're here. Get your coat."

Rosa did as she was told while Faith parked the car next to Heidi's, and climbed out. In the spot next to them, Heidi took Jordan Lee from her car seat and strapped her into a stroller. Faith held Rosa's hand, weaving her fingers between the child's. Then she led Rosa to the stroller where they peeked at the baby.

Tears filled Faith's eyes as she marveled over the infant's per-fect peachy skin and dark hair. "Oh, Heidi, she's beautiful." Faith leaned in closer and ran her fingertips over the tiny girl's downy-soft forehead. The resemblance was striking. "She looks just like Jordan." Faith stood up and hugged Heidi. "I can't believe the two of you are really going to see each other... after all this time."

Heidi dabbed at her own tears. "I promised myself I wouldn't break down. Not yet." She uttered a cry that was part laugh. "I don't want mascara running down my face when he sees me."

"He's going to love you, Heidi. Stop worrying." Faith ran her thumb under Heidi's right eye. "There. No mascara." She grinned and looked down at the child beside her. "Rosa, I'd like you to meet Mrs. Benson. She's a friend of mine."

Rosa stuck out her good hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Benson."

"What nice manners, Rosa." Heidi shook the child's hand and smiled, casting Faith a quick grin. "It's a pleasure to meet you, too."

The four of them made their way into the park and found a picnic table near the swings. Rosa was singing happy songs, soaring halfway to the trees in a matter of minutes.

"What a beautiful little girl. Is she family?"

Faith shifted her gaze to Rosa and sighed. "I'd like her to be, but no. She's a foster child up for adoption." Faith looked at Heidi once more. "I think I'm in love with her."

"I see that." Heidi smiled, and her eyes danced with the possi-bilities. "Is there a chance you'll...?"

"Adopt her? I don't know." Faith could feel the tears again and she blinked them back. "I've prayed about it every day for weeks now, and it seems like G.o.d's telling me to wait." She glanced back at Rosa. "Deep in my heart I feel she deserves two parents- a mom and a dad." Faith felt the corners of her mouth droop a fraction. "And that's something I can't give her."

They were quiet for a moment as Heidi rocked the stroller back and forth and they watched Rosa swing.

"I wish we were sitting over there." Faith broke the silence and pointed to the bench closest to the walled-in Jesus statue. "That was Jordan's favorite spot when he was a boy." She let her gaze settle on the plywood walls and her heart felt heavier than before. The walls were starting to break away in a few places, no doubt pulled at by teenagers or people frustrated with the man-date. The whole situation was too sad for Faith. She turned back to Heidi. "But I promised Jordan this wasn't about the statue, and it isn't." She patted the wooden table. "Thisll do fine."

Heidi was about to say something when a car pulled into the parking lot.

"That's him." Faith drew a deep breath and squeezed Heidi's hand. "I'll meet him halfway and explain what's happening."