Olla Podrida Part 59

At last, Jack was set down as the greatest fool in the ship, and was pointed out as such. The ladies observed, that such might possibly be the case, but at all events he was the handsomest young man in the Mediterranean fleet. We believe that both parties were correct in their a.s.sertions.

Time flies--even a midshipman's time, which does not fly quite so fast as his money--and the time came for Mr Littlebrain's examination. Sir Theophilus, who now commanded the whole fleet, was almost in despair.

How was it possible that a man could navigate a ship, with only one quarter point of the compa.s.s in his head?

Sir Theophilus scratched his wig; and the disposition of the Mediterranean fleet, so important to the country, was altered according to the dispositions of the captains who commanded the ships. In those days, there were martinets in the service; officers who never overlooked an offence, or permitted the least deviation from strict duty; who were generally hated, but at the same time were most valuable to the service.

As for his nephew pa.s.sing his examination before any of those of the first, or second, or even of the third degree, the Admiral knew that it was impossible. The consequence was, that one was sent away on a mission to Genoa, about nothing; another to watch for vessels never expected, off Sardinia; two more to cruise after a French frigate which had never been built: and thus, by degrees, did the Admiral arrange, so as to obtain a set of officers sufficiently pliant to allow his nephew to creep under the gate which barred his promotion, and which he never could have vaulted over. So the signal was made--our hero went on board--his uncle had not forgotten the propriety of a little _douceur_ on the occasion; and, as the turkeys were all gone, three couple of geese were sent in the same boat, as a present to each of the three pa.s.sing captains. Littlebrain's heart failed him as he pulled to the ship; even the geese hissed at him, as much as to say, "If you were not such a stupid a.s.s, we might have been left alive in our coops." There was a great deal of truth in that remark, if they did say so.

Nothing could have been made more easy for Littlebrain than his examination. The questions had all been arranged beforehand; and some kind friend had given him all the answers written down. The pa.s.sing captains apparently suffered from the heat of the weather, and each had his hand on his brow, looking down on the table at the time that Littlebrain gave his answers, so that of course they did not observe that he was reading them off. As soon as Littlebrain had given his answer, and had had sufficient time to drop his paper under the table, the captains felt better and looked up again.

There were but eight questions for our hero to answer. Seven had been satisfactorily got through; then came the eighth, a very simple one:--"What is your course and distance from Ushant to the Start?" This question having been duly put, the captains were again in deep meditation, shrouding their eyes with the palms of their hands.

Littlebrain had his answer--he looked at the paper. What could be more simple than to reply?--and then the captains would have all risen up, shaken him by the hand, complimented him upon the talent he had displayed, sent their compliments to the commander-in-chief, and their thanks for the geese. Jack was just answering, "North----"

"Recollect your promise!" cried a soft voice, which Jack well recollected.

Jack stammered--the captains were mute--and waited patiently.

"I must say it," muttered Jack.

"You shan't," replied the little Wind.

"Indeed I must," said Jack, "or I shall be turned back."

The captains, surprised at this delay and the muttering of Jack, looked up, and one of them gently inquired if Mr Littlebrain had not dropped his handkerchief or something under the table? and then they again fixed their eyes upon the green cloth.

"If you dare, I'll never see you again," cried "S.W. and by W. 3/4 W.,"--"never come to your hammock,--but I'll blow the ship on sh.o.r.e, every soul shall be lost, Admiral and all; recollect your promise!"

"Then I shall never pa.s.s," replied Jack.

"Do you think that any other point in the compa.s.s shall pa.s.s you except me?--never! I'm too jealous for that; come now, dearest," and the Wind again deliriously trembled upon the lips of our hero, who could no longer resist.

"S.W. and by W. 3/4 W.," exclaimed Jack firmly.

"You have made a slight mistake, Mr Littlebrain," said one of the captains. "_Look_ again--I meant to say, _think_ again."

"S.W. and by W. 3/4 W.," again repeated Jack.

"Dearest! how I love you!" whispered the soft Wind.

"Why, Mr Littlebrain," said one of the captains, for Jack had actually laid the paper down on the table, "what's in the wind now?"

"She's obstinate," replied Jack.

"You appear to be so, at all events," replied the captain. "Pray try once more."

"I have it!" thought Jack, who tore off the last answer from his paper.

"I gained five guineas by that plan once before." He then handed the bit of paper to the pa.s.sing captain: "I believe that's right, sir," said our hero.

"Yes, that is right; but could you not have said it instead of writing it, Mr Littlebrain?"

Jack made no reply; his little sweetheart pouted a little, but said nothing; it was an evasion which she did not like. A few seconds of consultation then took place, as a matter of form. Each captain asked of the other if he was perfectly satisfied as to Mr Littlebrain's capabilities, and the reply was in the affirmative; and they were perfectly satisfied, that he was either a fool or a madman. However, as we have had both in the service by way of precedent, Jack was added to the list, and the next day was appointed lieutenant.

Our hero did his duty as lieutenant of the forecastle; and as all the duty of that officer is, when hailed from the quarter-deck, to answer "_Ay, ay, sir_," he got on without making many mistakes. And now he was very happy; no one dared to call him a fool except his uncle; he had his own cabin, and many was the time that his dear little "S.W. and by W.

3/4 W." would come in by the scuttle, and nestle by his side.

"You wo'n't see so much of me soon, dearest," said she, one morning, gravely.

"Why not, my soft one?" replied Jack.

"Don't you recollect that the winter months are coming on?"

"So they are," replied Jack. "Well, I shall long for you back."

And Jack did long, and long very much, for he loved his dear wind, and the fine weather which accompanied her. Winter came on, and heavy gales and rain, and thunder and lightning; nothing but double-reefed topsails, and wearing in succession; and our hero walked the forecastle, and thought of his favourite wind. The N.E. winds came down furiously, and the weather was bitter cold. The officers shook the rain and spray off their garments when their watch was over, and called for grog.

"Steward, a gla.s.s of grog," cried one, "and let it be strong."

"The same for me," said Jack; "only I'll mix it myself."

Jack poured out the rum till the tumbler was half full.

"Why, Littlebrain," said his messmate, "that is a dose, that's what we call a regular _Nor-wester_."

"Is it?" replied Jack. "Well then, Nor-westers suit me exactly, and I shall stick to them like cobbler's wax."

And during the whole of the winter months our hero showed a great predilection for Nor-westers.

It was in the latter end of February that there was a heavy gale; it had blown furiously from the northward for three days, and then it paused and panted as if out of breath--no wonder; and then the wind shifted, and shifted again, with squalls and heavy rain, until it blew from every quarter of the compa.s.s.

Our hero's watch was over, and he came down and called for a "Nor-wester" as usual.

"How is the wind, now?" asked the first lieutenant to the master, who came down dripping wet.

"S.S.W., but drawing now fast to the Westward," said old Spunyarn.

And so it was; and it veered round until "S.W. and by W. 3/4 W.," with an angry gust, came down the sky-light, and blowing strongly into our hero's ear, cried--

"Oh! you false one!!"

"False!" exclaimed Jack. "What! you here, and so angry too?--what's the matter?"

"What's the matter!--do you think I don't know? What have you been doing ever since I was away, comforting yourself during my absence with _Nor-westers_?"

"Why, you an't jealous of a Nor-wester, are you?" replied Littlebrain.

"I confess, I'm rather partial to them."

"What!--this to my face!--I'll never come again,--without you promise me that you will have nothing to do with them, and never call for one again. Be quick--I cannot stay more than two minutes, for it is hard work now, and we relieve quick--say the word."