Off Screen: Waiting In The Wings Part 12

"Addison, I..."

"No, I mean it. It's okay." Addison sighed. "You know, if that was Emma? If she asked me not to say anything to Vicki? I wouldn't either. I understand."

Adam nodded sadly. "I wish..."

"Wishing to do over the past is pointless," Addison said. Adam looked at her. "I just... There's just one thing I need to know," she said.

"Yes?"

"Is that why? Why you never wanted me around?"

Adam closed his eyes and nodded. "Addison... It's not that I didn't want you around."

"Could've fooled me," Addison said a bit more harshly than she had intended. Adam winced. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he replied. "I wish I had an answer," he admitted. He took another swig of his beer.

"Liquid courage?" Addison tried to lighten the tension. Tension had existed between them for years. Addison wasn't sure if anything could ever relieve it. Beer seemed as good of a place to start as any-beer and a touch of sarcasm now and then.

"Maybe," he confessed. Addison nodded and flagged down their waitress for another round. "Think I'm going to need more?" he asked.

"Who said it was for you?" Addison answered.

Adam chuckled. "I'm not very good at this."

"What's that? Drinking beer?"

"Being a father," he said.

Addison was taken off guard by the tremor in her father's voice. "That's not true," she said. He looked up at her. "It's not. Not really. I can remember a lot of good times."

"Before," he whispered the word.

"Before Mom died, you mean," Addison said.

"Yeah."

"Everything was different then," Addison mused more to herself than as part of their conversation.

"It was," he agreed. "I was," he said. "I guess I don't know what to say to you."

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't fix it," he replied. Addison's brow crinkled in confusion. "I saw you with Vicki today. The way you and Emma..."

"You mean when she fell?" Addison asked.

Adam nodded. "I never did that, Addy. I never picked you up. That was your mom. h.e.l.l, if I couldn't bandage your knee how was I going to make that any better?"

Addison covered her eyes, hoping to stave off a wave of tears. "You couldn't. You could've just talked to me-about anything. Even yelled at me," she said.

"I didn't know how," he said. "What could I say? She always knew what to say. I tickled you, and I paid your college tuition. I didn't do any of the hard stuff."

Addison dropped her hands from her face and looked at her father. A memory flashed in her mind. It took her a few seconds to bring it into focus, and she smiled. Then she laughed.

"That's funny?" Adam asked.

"You don't remember," Addison continued to laugh.

"I guess not."

"You don't remember that time you took me fishing down at Porter's Pond?" she asked. Adam combed his memories. He'd taken Addison to Porter's Pond dozens of times to swim or fish. "You don't remember the day I tried to cast out my fishing line, and it came back and hit me in the face?"

Adam threw his head back and then shook it. "The hook got caught in your eyebrow."

"Mm-hm."

"You were screaming b.l.o.o.d.y murder," he recalled.

"You didn't-scream b.l.o.o.d.y murder, I mean."

"Well, no. I was just so relieved it wasn't in your eye," he told Addison.

"I'll bet," she said. "Mom was at Grandma's that day. You took it out and cleaned it, and then you took me to Doc Bill to get it st.i.tched up."

"Yeah, you screamed b.l.o.o.d.y murder there too," he laughed at the memory.

"You didn't."

"I don't think Bill would've appreciated having to calm us both with lollipops," Adam deadpanned.

Addison smiled. She'd forgotten her father's wit. "You managed to get me through it and by the time Mom got home, I was proud of my war wound' as I recall."

"Yeah, well, the ice cream probably helped with that."

Addison nodded. "Like Elmo helped Vicki today. So? Why do you think you never did the hard stuff?"

"Not the same, Addy. That was one time."

"It wasn't the only time," Addison said. "And, from what I remember that was pretty hard stuff at the time."

Adam smiled. Addison had grown into a remarkable woman. Not that it surprised him. It didn't. She resembled her mother in the ways that mattered most. She had a gentle heart. He could see the hurt that lingered in her eyes. It was a pain that he had helped produce. Ironically, he'd done it in the hopes of avoiding that very thing-failing Addison. Adam wasn't sure that he would have kept trying to reach out if he had been in Addison's position. Inevitably, Addison always did. It was never just with a card or a cordial note. She would make an effort to call him, attempt to engage him, never giving up on him. As he looked at his daughter in the faint light of the bar, he realized she had spent these years believing he'd given up on her. Never. He'd given up on himself. It had taken persistence, Addison's and Emma's, to make him begin to see the light of day. And, seeing Vicki, watching her play, hearing her call him Gampa; every time he heard that tiny voice, he thought of Addison's mother. She would have fallen in love with Vicki in an instant, just as he had fallen in love with her, and they had both fallen in love with Addison.

"Well, I hope I don't have to pull any hooks out of you again," Adam said.

Addison laughed. She was about to reply when their waitress returned with two more bottles. Addison smiled at her and nodded her thanks.

"Your Addison Blake, right?" the waitress asked.

Addison nodded. "I think so," she joked.

"Is it true?" the waitress asked.

Addison lifted both eyebrows in question. "What's that?" she asked, taking a sip from her beer.

"That you left Emma Bronson for her costar?"

Addison sprayed the beer in her mouth across the table and onto her father's shirt. "What?"

Adam brushed off his chest and looked at Addison, then at the waitress.

"What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?" Addison asked.

"Well, it was all over the news," the waitress replied.

Addison wondered what news the young woman might have been watching. "No," Addison said.

"Oh, so it's like an affair?" the waitress asked.

Addison closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. "What?"

"You and Sandra MacMillan."

"Come again?" Addison shook her head.

The waitress shrugged. "She's like living in your house, right? I mean, like it's kind of public knowledge Emma came home, and when she left, Sandra moved in."

Addison smacked her forehead. She would never get used to this nonsense. That is precisely what she thought of it. "People have way too much time on their hands," Addison mumbled. She looked at the waitress and painted on a winning smile. At the moment, she was glad that the three beers she had consumed had left her with a pleasant buzz. She was hardly drunk, but the effects of the alcohol had loosened both her mood, and as she was about to find out-her lips. "Well, that's interesting. I'm afraid I'm not Sandra's type. She only likes the ladies on screen."

The waitress seemed to consider the answer. "So... So... Oh! You're here trying to win Emma back after you tried to win Sandra over!"

Adam watched curiously as Addison rolled her eyes, picked up her beer, and chugged it until it was half empty. Addison set the bottle on the table and looked back at the young woman standing over her. Her body had a pleasant tingle beginning to run through it from the alcohol. She smiled coyly. "Interesting theory," she said. "But, if you'll excuse us, my dad and I are drinking here... Celebrating fish hooks and Elmo. We used to have ice cream, but I'm legal now," Addison said with a grin. She normally welcomed meeting people. This encounter was not enjoyable. She beckoned the waitress closer as if she were about to impart some secret. "Don't believe everything you hear," she said.

"But, it's on video," the young woman replied. Addison narrowed her gaze. "You know, Sandra coming to your house and locking it in the morning? Like, her kid is living there too! They showed it, you know? Her letting these people with baby furniture in."

Adam watched Addison carefully. She was obviously irritated, but outwardly she remained in control. He sipped his beer and listened as Addison navigated the minefield of entertainment media rumors. The entire exchange made him feel like he was living in a movie.

Addison was annoyed. It wasn't the rumor that had gotten under her skin. It was the surprise she had planned for Emma that she would now be forced to reveal that had officially p.i.s.sed her off. She'd worked on the surprise for two weeks and had enlisted Christie and Sandra's help. "Surprise ruined. Thanks a lot-jerks," Addison mumbled. She bit her lip and looked at the waitress. "Why are people so stupid?" she silently wondered. She sighed. "Well, there will be a new crib in our house. That's true," she said. The waitress grinned. "Yeah, Emma hates putting furniture together, especially when she's pregnant," Addison said. The waitress almost swallowed her tongue. Addison grinned evilly. "So? I think we'll have another round. If you don't mind," Addison said. "Looks like my dad is on empty, and I'm not all that far behind," she explained, effectively ending the conversation and dismissing the young woman. The waitress nodded and scurried off. "Just f.u.c.king great," Addison muttered and promptly chugged the rest of her beer.

"Does that happen a lot?" Adam asked.

"You mean someone thinking that I'm sleeping with my wife's co-star or that I out my wife's pregnancy to the world without talking to her?" Adam stared at his daughter. Addison shrugged. "First time for both."

"Do you think Emma will be upset?"

"About me living with Sandra? No," Addison said. Adam looked concerned, and Addison chuckled. "She'll be annoyed that people are so petty, but she's used to it. As used to it as anyone can get, I guess," Addison explained.

"What about..."

"Mm. Me telling The National Enquirer over there that she's pregnant?" Addison asked. Adam cringed slightly. "She'll forgive me. I probably won't get any cookies for a few days," Addison said.

Adam noted her smile. "I don't know how you deal with it."

"I didn't, not very well anyway-not at first," Addison told her father. "But, Emma? She's been at it longer than me."

"Think she'll go back?"

"You mean to acting?" Addison asked. Adam nodded. "Eventually, yeah. After this? Not for a good while, I suspect."

"Why not?" he wondered. "Because of the kids?" he wagered a guess.

Addison fell silent as the waitress returned with two more beers. She lifted the bottle to her mouth to keep from opening it and inserting her foot again until the waitress left. She watched the waitress disappear behind the bar and turned back to her father. "Yeah, but not for the reasons you might think. Well, partly. She likes being Mom, you know? She really does," Addison smiled. "And, I'm pretty sure she'll want one more go round before we are done."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Addison said. "Don't ask me. Maybe it's all just rumors like the impending doom of my marriage and my rebound love affair. I always heard being the middle child sucked. She seems to have liked it."

"So, she doesn't want to work anymore?"

Addison groaned softly. "I don't think it's that," she said. "I mean, it is that. She wants to be home with them as much as she can be while they're small. I just think she might decide to extend that until they give us grandchildren," Addison said.

"I don't think I understand."

"It's everything that goes with it-being on screen. It's not the work; it's the bull s.h.i.t. She always tells me that we were living under a microscope when Off Screen was running. Now, it's more like a telescope. h.e.l.l, she's not even working on the new show, and the rumors have started," Addison shook her head. "Think about your kids hearing that c.r.a.p about you."

Adam thought silently for a minute. "Do you think she would miss it?"

"Acting?" Addison asked. "Yeah. She already does, although she won't fess up to it. I think she misses just being creative to tell you the truth. Being on a set, a good one anyway, there's nothing like it. It can be grueling, but it's fun too. If you are lucky enough to get a great crew... Well, it gets in your blood. And, she's good. Actually, she's better than good."

"As an actress?"

"That, but at the whole thing. Emma? She knows how to get people to work. People want to work with her. She's smart. She's been around television since she was still a kid if you think about it. She's a good listener; you know? She learned a lot."

Adam nodded. He and Addison had not talked this much in years. He wasn't sure that they ever had. Maybe it was the beer, but the conversation felt natural to him. "Well, maybe she can do something other than acting," he said, taking another sip of his beer.

"You know, she's quite the fisherman," Addison said.

"Really? Ever manage to catch herself?" Adam teased his daughter.

Addison huffed. "Not that I know of. But, she did catch me... By the way? You're buying the next round," she replied.

Chapter Eight.