Now And Forever Part 18

"Elijah," I whispered.

"What?" the captain turned toward my voice.

"Elijah. The day before our liftoff from Earth. Elijah said-"

"Said what?" the captain demanded impatiently.

"'Far out in s.p.a.ce, there'll come a time when you see land where there is no land, find time where there is no time; when ancient kings will reflesh their bones and reseat their crowns...'"

"Is that time now?" asked Redleigh.

And Quell replied, "Yes, now. For look. And...feel."

I finished the memory of Elijah's words: "'Then, oh then, ship, ship's captain, ship's men, all, all will be destroyed! All save one.'"

All save one, I thought, as the captain exploded with rage. "Fools, d.a.m.n fools!" he cried. "We do not take this past, accept these ancient years. We do not hide in pyramids or run from locust plagues to cower, grovel underneath the robes of Christ! We will stand forth."

He turned and strode toward the lift to the upper reaches. "The airlock, open it! Although blind, I will go forth and find the monster myself!"

CHAPTER 10.

Quell's mind moved outside the ship to find the captain, alone.

And though I could not see, I heard, and what the captain finally said was this: "What? Nothing? All quiet, gone, spent? Is this the end? No more the hunt, the journey, and the goal? That terrifies me most: No more the goal! From here on then, what is the captain for? What does he do, if time and circ.u.mstance knock all the mountains down to one dull flat and endless plain, one long bleak winter afternoon, not even tea and simple bread to brighten it?

"Oh Christ, the thought of mindless noons that have no ends, or end in maunderings, stale tea leaves in a cup which tell no murders and no blood, and so no life-that breaks my bones. The sound of one leaf turning in a book would crack my spine. One dust mote burning on a sunlit hearth would smother my soul. The simple things that snug themselves in halls too clean, too quiet, that lie in well-made beds and smile idiot smiles! Oh, turn away. Such peace is a winepress to crush your soul.

"And yet...G.o.d, feel...the universe itself fills me this hour with quiet joy. Unseen by me, there one small fire goes out, but yet another freshens itself forth in birth. It is my heart's midnight, but yet some foundling sun reminds me that somewhere a million light-years on, a boy gets out of bed in cold well-water morn; the circus now arrives, a life's begun with animals and flags and bunting and bright lights. Would I deny his right, his joy at rising to run forth and greet the show? I would deny, I would!

"But no, ah G.o.d, but surely no. It cracks my heart to think of him derelict with age, but would I warn him not to turn the page and let life begin?

"I would! Our very life's a sin against itself!

"But then again, once more, I'd keep my tongue and let him play. Go, boy, I would advise, on some far world. Start up the day, spin forth your captured joys. O, know delight. Mind not on me. I stay here with my night."

Suddenly Small was behind me, and reached over my shoulder to adjust some controls on the console. The screen came to life, and we saw the captain out on the hull, tethered to the ship by an airline. Redleigh, similarly suited for s.p.a.ce and tied to the ship by a line, hovered a few yards behind the captain. He had a weapon in his hand, but indecision showed on his face behind his airmask. Quell's mind moved, searching, and he touched good Redleigh's mind and in his thoughts I read: "When he speaks so, what must I do? Destroy or not destroy? And even as he moves back and forth, from light to dark, his madness most inconstant, so my own sanity wavers. I would kill him. But then again, I would not."

"Leviathan!" yelled the captain at the black emptiness surrounding him. "Stand forth! You must be there!"

I heard his breath rasping in the silent void, as he waited for an answer that would not come.

"Oh, G.o.d," he continued. "Give me, oh give me back just one millionth part of all the visions of my youth. Restore my sight. For just one moment in this long night, give me the strength that vision gives to finish out this thing, see darkness with these eyes, know whiteness then for death, do justice with these hands! Give back, oh I beseech, I humbly ask, I do cry out, I pray!"

At this the captain spun around, as if he was about to fall in the zero gravity of s.p.a.ce, as if the weight of all he had said was too much.

"Captain!" Redleigh cried out. "No!"

"But yes...it's given." The captain struggled to right himself. "Hold on, it's given back! My vision is clear. The universe stands right. I can see! The stars! My G.o.d, the billion stars, the stars!"

At which the captain wept.

Redleigh, seeing those same stars, spoke to himself. "Oh thank you, G.o.d, for miracles which teach. But then, I wonder, will he learn?"

"Who is that?" the captain said. "Redleigh? Is that you? My friend's face seen at last?"

He reached out and almost touched the faceplate of his first mate's helmet.

Redleigh responded, "It is the face of a friend. And this friend says, Turn back. There is still time. Time comes back to us. Your sight is healed. What more can you ask for now? It is a sign, a miracle. It is a true gift given you, sir. Now act on it."

"I will," the captain said. "Let me drink first. Let me look. Oh, Redleigh, it is like fresh mountain water. It is a cold, clear thing, this gift of seeing once again. Oh, G.o.d, the universe is lovely strange. I have hungered for it for thirty years. There is no bottom to my thirst. Let me stare. Let me truly stand alert. Let my eyes open wide, there, and yet more and more."

There was a soft pulsation of green and yellow light on the monitor before us, a far sound of bells and cries of murmuring waves and crowds.

I listened, close.

"Quell," I asked. "What is it?"

"Time," Quell said, "turns upon itself."

"Look, and feel!" the captain said.

And Quell told all that he felt and saw: "The knot falls loose...great Time unties itself. The years reverse. We have returned. Leviathan gives back our time and years. This is 2099."

"2099," the captain said. "Redleigh, did you hear?"

"Yes, Captain, yes!"

"We are once again in our proper hour! Two gifts, Mr. Redleigh. The gift of seeing and the gift of long-returning years."

"G.o.d is generous, Captain. He has corrected the calendar and touched your eyes."

"Would that that were true."

"It is!"

"No, it only seems to be so," the captain said. "Not G.o.d but the beast has made these offerings. It bribes me to stand clear. It sweetens me with banquetings of sight to mend my soul and fend me off. That stuff is spoiled. Need be, I'll now sew up these eyes or pluck them out with these two hands. I do not bribe. I do not take. I do not stay. If time is given me, I'll use it to make plans. If sight is given me, I'll use it well to mark my enemy's burial place. Leviathan, thy gifts will be a sword into thy breast!"

"Captain, it says escape!"

"To what? To run to Earth and on the way have time reversed again so we are greeted by the bones of Charlemagne or fall dead with Caesar, bloodied in his forum?"

"Christ's bones! G.o.d's ghost, oh give me strength to pull this trigger."

The weapon Redleigh carried was now pointed directly at the captain.

"You never will."

"But if I could!" said Redleigh. "How fine to land back home and go with simple cavemen into a cave, live out a life less a nightmare than all this, lie down with saber-tooths, sweet Christ, and rest awhile."

"We shall rest, Mr. Redleigh, at the dead heart of the comet."

"I see," said Redleigh. "Now I am dead. Let me put away my gun. Here comes Leviathan, to pick my bones. Shall I greet it, Captain, with you?"

There was a great light, an immense sound, a fantastic approaching dazzle and splendor.

And Quell echoed, "To pick my bones."

CHAPTER 11.

"Sir?"

Quell came to attention as Downs came on deck.

"Sir, your suit is finished." The engineer held out a suit made of some stiff black material.

"Much thanks," said Quell. "It is a fine piece of work."

Downs tapped on the metal carapace. "I am tempted to die and wear the d.a.m.ned thing myself."

"Stick around," said Quell. "You may get your wish."

"Quell!" I said.

Quell stiffened, alert, turning toward me.

"You heard it all."

"The captain," I said, "has been given his sight, but is more blind than ever before."

"And we shall share his blindness," said Quell. "Look!"

The dazzling storm of light grew behind my eyes, where Quell had placed it. Likewise, it burst on the screens all around the deck.

"All hands!" the captain commanded. "Emergency life-suits on! Ready and stand by emergency life-craft! Redleigh, inside! All hands! All hands!"

The crew ran with eager shouts.

"Oh, yes," I said to myself. "The comet approaches. And it is a great white holy terror that fills the universe and swallows every star. And look, my G.o.d, oh look! The crew! They run like children run at their games."

"Listen to their thoughts," Quell said, gesturing at the people rushing madly around us. "I give you leave. The hot blood rushes in their veins. Hear how they truly run!"

He touched my brow and their thoughts flowed into mine. I felt and heard the shriek, the joyous cry, the glorious wail and shout of men running downhill to doom.

The captain appeared among us, and all hands turned to him, faces flushed with antic.i.p.ation.

"Have you ever seen the like?!" said the captain. "Oh G.o.d, that fire, brighter than ten million suns. Everyone to stations."

"Aye aye, sir!" the crew shouted as one.

"Now," said the captain by radio to the crew in their suits, "in each and every life-craft ship, know the engines of destruction. Draw on my hunger to devour this thing-make it yours! In each craft is a beam more powerful than any h.e.l.l-fire laser ever built. Wider, longer, swifter, surer. Use that power! Fret the beast. Lay him waste. Life-craft One under command of crewman Downs?"

"Downs here," cried the man. "Life-craft One ready!"

"Launch!"

I heard the first craft blast away, carrying Downs and his companion.

"Life-craft Two!" the captain shouted. "Crewman Small!"

"Small here," a voice replied. "Life-craft Two...ready!"

"Launch!"

Concussion, and Small and his voice and his crewmate were gone.

"Mr. Redleigh," said the captain, turning to his first mate. "The third craft is yours. Use it well."

"Sir!" said Redleigh.

"Quell," said the captain. And I saw that Quell had donned his black suit. "Quell, you go with Redleigh. Ishmael stays with me, here on the main ship. Stand by for launch of Life-craft Three."

"Quell," Redleigh said, as the two prepared to leave the main deck. "You wear your suit of death."

"It fits, Mr. Redleigh, it fits."

"Will there be room for me?"

"Death," Quell said, "makes a large coffin. We shall not knock elbows."

"All right," said Redleigh. "Then, on the double."

Quell turned to me before leaving, as if to say something.

"Quell," I said, "let me go with you. Captain? I must ask-"

But Quell cut in. "No. Stay. And live. You will live, you know, to be very old. I, who sees beyond, tell you this. Be old, Ishmael. Be happy. Dear friend, goodbye."