Now And Forever Part 12

I shook off Quell's hand and stood waiting.

The old astronaut came closer and spoke very clearly. "What burnt the captain blind? Where? When? How? You may well ask. Was he a priest of s.p.a.ce, chasing G.o.d, and G.o.d spun and struck darkness at him in one blow? Is your captain all in one smooth piece, or do the ragged edges show where he was sewn back up? Does midnight still peek out through those raw holes the doctors could not mend? Was he born an albino, or did terror bleach him like a terrible snow?"

I turned to look at Quell to see how he was taking all this, and the immense shadow that was Quell trembled in the sunlight but would not give answer.

The old astronaut, triumphant, moved yet closer.

"Now hear this. Aboard that ship, far out in s.p.a.ce, there'll come a time when you see land-a world on the horizon-where there is no land, find time where there is no time; when ancient kings will reflesh their bones and reseat their crowns. Then, oh then, ship, ship's captain, ship's men, all, all will be destroyed! All save one."

My hands were fists. I stepped toward the old man in anger, but he backed off to finish.

"Believe me. The Cetus 7 is no fair ship. It is its captain's. And the captain is forever lost." And finally he turned and started to walk away.

"Wait," I cried. "Hold on. What is your name?"

The old man paused, as if searching for an answer.

"Elijah. Name's Elijah. Good morning to you, friends, morning."

He spread his arms and, a moment later, where he had been was darkness.

Quell and I stood, abandoned, as a swift shadow pa.s.sed over us, and the voice came one more time from above, fading, "Morning, morning."

Before either of us could say a word, there came an immense sound of thunder as a rocket, perhaps five miles distant, took off shuddering, filling the sky with color; the crimson and white flashes of ascension. As the sound receded, we became aware of sudden activity around us-the stirrings of technicians and robots and astronauts, the sounds of radios and electronic pulses, the shadows of rockets connecting to gantries, ready to lift into the universe.

Quell at last said, "It's time to go. Our ship is waiting. Ishmael, attend, we must aboard."

And so we continued on to the Cetus 7.

CHAPTER 2.

Oh, the logistics of the rocket. Computerize the billion and one decisions. Ten thousand nursing bottles filled with super-h.o.m.ogenized gunk for s.p.a.ce children. Fresh air produced by gla.s.s-enclosed botanical gardens. Sweat recycled into sweet water by machines.

Ring all the bells and klaxons. Flash the lights and prepare the thunders. Men and women run.

Quell and I stood by the gantry, staring up at the giant ship. It had been a week since our strange encounter with Elijah, seven days filled with intense activity as the Cetus 7 crew, of which we were now members, prepared the ship for voyage.

"Quell," I said, "at no time in the last week, in all the rush and work, upon or around the ship, have we seen-blind or otherwise-the prophesied captain of our ship."

Quell shut his yes and c.o.c.ked his strange head.

"Him," he whispered.

"What?" I urged. "What?"

Quell murmured, "He is near." And he turned and pointed up at the gantry. Its elevator was slowly rising and within the cage we saw a lone, dark figure.

"There is our captain," said Quell.

The s.p.a.ceman's chapel. I had come to say a prayer before liftoff the next morning. Quell accompanied me, although I knew not to what G.o.d he prayed, if any. The muted light soothed our eyes after the blinding glare of the launching pad. Within the quiet and sacred s.p.a.ce we stared up at the curved panoramic ceiling and there we saw, floating, the translucent shapes of men and women long lost in s.p.a.ce. Soft murmurs emanated from them, a mult.i.tudinous whispering.

"And those? Why?" said Quell.

I watched the floating shapes and said, "Memorials, images, and voices of those who have died and are buried forever in s.p.a.ce. Here, in the high air of the cathedral, at dawn and at dusk, their souls are projected, their voices broadcast, in remembrance."

Quell and I stood and listened and watched.

One lost voice recited, "David Smith, lost near Mars, July 2050."

Another, higher, softer, said, "Elizabeth Ball, adrift beyond Jupiter, 2087."

And a third, sonorous, again and again, "Robert Hinkston, killed by meteor swarm, 2063, buried in s.p.a.ce."

Another whisper: "Buried."

A further sound: "Lost."

And all the whispers at once, repeating: "In s.p.a.ce, in s.p.a.ce, in s.p.a.ce."

I took Quell's arm and turned him toward the front of the chapel. "There," I said, pointing. "In the pulpit, at any moment, we will see a man who died nearly a hundred years ago, but so remarkable a man was he that they computerized his soul, tracked his voice, made circuitries of his merest breath."

At that, the lights rose to illuminate a figure that was rising behind the pulpit.

"Father Ellery Colworth," I murmured.

"A robot?" said Quell, quietly.

"Yes," I said, "but more. Before us is the gentle essence of the man."

The lights dimmed somewhat as the incredible three-dimensional duplicate of Father Ellery Colworth began to speak.

"Is G.o.d dead?" he said. "An old question now. But once, hearing it, I laughed and replied: Not dead, but simply sleeping until you chattering bores shut up!"

There was a soft sound of laughter all around Quell and me, which faded as Father Colworth continued.

"A better answer is yet another question: Are you dead? Does the blood move in your hand, does that hand move to touch metal, does that metal move to touch s.p.a.ce? Do wild thoughts of travel and migration stir your soul? They do. Thus you live. Therefore G.o.d lives. You are the thin skin of life upon an unsensing Earth, you are that growing edge of G.o.d which manifests itself in hunger for s.p.a.ce. So much of G.o.d lies vibrantly asleep. The very stuffs of worlds and galaxies, they know not themselves. But here, G.o.d stirs in his sleep. You are the stirring. He wakes, you are that wakening. G.o.d reaches for the stars. You are His hand. Creation manifest, you go in search. He goes to find, you go to find. Everything you touch along the way, therefore, will be holy. On far worlds you will meet your own flesh, terrifying and strange, but still your own. Treat it well. Beneath the shape, you share the G.o.dhead.

"You Jonahs traveling in the belly of a new-made metal whale, you swimmers in the far seas of deep s.p.a.ce, blaspheme not against yourselves or the frightening twins of yourselves you find among the stars, but ask to understand the miracles which are s.p.a.ce, Time, and Life in the high attics and lost birthing-places of Eternity. Woe to you if you do not find all life most holy, and coming to lay yourself down cannot say, O Father G.o.d, you waken me. I waken Thee. Immortal, together we then walk upon the waters of deep s.p.a.ce in the new morn which names itself: Forever."

The congregation-above and below-softly repeated the word, "Forever, forever."

There was a swell of soft music from somewhere in the heavens as Father Ellery Colworth finished, his figure went dark, and his silhouette was seen descending silently behind the podium.

In the long silence that came upon us I wept.

I lay awake that night in my berth aboard the Cetus 7.

Quell was already asleep. Rain patterns, simulated to aid slumber, fell on our faces and behind us on the wall.

The voice of a clock repeated, very softly, "Tick tock, two o'clock...tick tock, two o'clock."

At last I spoke.

"Quell, awake?"

And his mind spoke to me silently from across the room.

"Part of my mind, yes, the rest sleeps. I dream of the old man who warned us."

"Elijah? Did you believe him, that our captain is blind?"

"Yes. That much is common knowledge."

"And that he is mad?"

"That we must discover for ourselves."

"But by that time, mightn't it be too late, Quell?"

The soothing rain patterns continued to fall on my cheeks and the walls. There was a faint rumble of thunder from beyond.

"Quell? What, is all of you asleep now? Good companion, lie there. Your body the strange color of a world I will never see. Cold blood but warm heart; your mouth silent but your mind, even in sleep, breathing friendship."

Quell's voice, within my head, murmured drowsily, "Ishmael."

"Quell, thank G.o.d for you in the days ahead."

From all around me Quell's voice repeated, "Ishmael...Ishmael."

CHAPTER 3.

A voice boomed over the loudspeakers. "The captain is in quarters, prepare for countdown."

The crew all hurried to their a.s.signed stations, suited up and strapped in. The great doors were shut and sealed, the gantries rolled away, the engines fired up.

"Minus one and counting."

We lay waiting for the fire-wind to seize and throw us at the sky.

And seize and throw it did.

Oh my G.o.d, I thought. Help me to shout, "We rise, we rise."

But silence took us, like penitent monks, to its bosom.

For even the thundering rocket, which rips the soul on Earth, walks silently some few miles high, treads the stars without footfall, as if in awe of the great cathedral of s.p.a.ce.

Free, I thought. No gravity. No gravity! Free. Oh, Quell, I find it most pleasant to be...alive.

Safely in orbit, let out of our constraints, I asked, "And now, what do we do?"

"Why, collect data," said one of the crew.

"Add and subtract constellations," said another.

"Photograph comets," said a third. "Which means, capture G.o.d's skeleton in an X-ray."

Another crew member said, "I grabbed a flash of those pa.s.sing comets. From such huge ghosts of suns, I borrow cups of energy to power our ship. Sweet alchemy, my game, but fine fun pumps my blood. All round lies death, but I greet even Death with, look, this grin."

It was First Mate John Redleigh. I touched a computer screen, which whispered his name, and I saw there his log of the first hours of our journey: August 22, 2099. Out of sight of land, yes, out of sight of the blessed land, which means all Earth and those we hold dear upon it. All faces, names, souls, remembrances, streets, houses, towns, meadows, seas-gone. All longitudes, lat.i.tudes, meridians, hours, nights, days, all time, yes, time, too, gone. Christ, guard my soul. How lonely.

And to me Quell set free his thoughts: "Friend, I read minds, not futures. s.p.a.ce is large. They say it curves. Perhaps our end is our beginning. Our destination: far, very far, three mystery comets to be found by us in one constellation. Chart their course and map their routes, take their temperatures."

"How long will we travel?" I asked.

"Ten years," came the answer.

"My G.o.d, how boring," I said.

"No," said Quell, "for see how your G.o.d sends His meteors to entertain us."

"Meteor strike!" a voice cried. "Deck seven. All hands report!"

We ran. All ran to the sounds of bells and klaxons and worked to repair the ship's hull.

And at last I stood, back inside the hatch, taking off my helmet along with the rest of the crew.

And so it went, day in, day out-our ship hurtling through s.p.a.ce, each of us with his a.s.signed task, measuring, scanning, calculating, plotting a safe course among the broken stars.

And yet, with all this happening, still, after forty days out in s.p.a.ce, not once did we see our captain. He stayed locked up in his cabin. But sometimes, at three or so in the deep morning, I heard the hiss of the elevator shaft, like a long, drawn-out sigh, and knew he was pa.s.sing, rising up from the interior living and work levels to the outermost deck of his great ship, restricted to all but our ghost leader.

We all listened and heard.

In private, Downs said, "What does he do, up there? I hear he suits up, goes out alone, tethered by just one line."

Someone answered, "Fool, he plays games with meteors, reaching out as if to catch them, even though he cannot possibly see them coming."