Nonsense Books Part 26

There was an old person of Putney, Whose food was roast spiders and chutney, Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea, That romantic old person of Putney.

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There was an old person of Loo, Who said, "What on earth shall I do?"

When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay, That vexatious old person of Loo.

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There was an old person of Woking, Whose mind was perverse and provoking; He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail, That illusive old person of Woking.

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There was an old person of Dean Who dined on one pea, and one bean; For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"

That cautious old person of Dean.

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There was a young lady in blue, Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?"

When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!"

That ungracious young lady in blue.

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There was an old Man in a Garden, Who always begged every one's pardon; When they asked him, "What for?" he replied, "You're a bore!

And I trust you'll go out of my garden."

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There was an old person of Pisa, Whose daughters did nothing to please her; She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day, Round the walls of the city of Pisa.

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There was an old person of Florence, Who held mutton chops in abhorrence; He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard, Which choked that old person of Florence.

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There was an old person of Sheen, Whose expression was calm and serene; He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter, That placid old person of Sheen.

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There was an old person of Ware, Who rode on the back of a bear; When they ask'd, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!

He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"

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There was a young person of Janina, Whose uncle was always a fanning her; When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said, "You propitious old person of Janina!"

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There was an old man of Cashmere, Whose movements were scroobious and queer; Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall, And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.

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There was an old person of Ca.s.sel, Whose nose finished off in a ta.s.sel; But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell!"

Which perplexed that old person of Ca.s.sel.

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There was an old person of Pett, Who was partly consumed by regret; He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart, Which relieved that old person of Pett.

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There was an old man of Spithead, Who opened the window, and said,-- "Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"

That doubtful old man of Spithead.

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There was an old man on the Border, Who lived in the utmost disorder; He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat, Which vexed all the folks on the Border.

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There was an old man of Dumbree, Who taught little owls to drink tea; For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"

That amiable man of Dumbree.

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There was an old person of Filey, Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly; He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell, And delighted the people of Filey.

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There was an old man whose remorse Induced him to drink Caper Sauce; For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup, It will certainly soothe your remorse!"

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There was an old man of Ibreem, Who suddenly threaten'd to scream; But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue, You disgusting old man of Ibreem!"

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There was an old person of Wilts, Who constantly walked upon stilts; He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies, That elegant person of Wilts.

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There was an old person of Grange, Whose manners were scroobious and strange; He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub, That aquatic old person of Grange.

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There was an old person of Newry, Whose manners were tinctured with fury; He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs, Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.