Nonsense Books Part 10

The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs, They all took a drive in the Park; And they each sang a song, ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!

Before they went back in the dark.

Mr. Poker he sate quite upright in the coach; Mr. Tongs made a clatter and clash; Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch); Mrs. Broom was in blue (with a sash).

Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!

And they all sang a song.

II.

"O Shovely so lovely!" the Poker he sang, "You have perfectly conquered my heart.

Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong! If you're pleased with my song, I will feed you with cold apple-tart.

When you sc.r.a.pe up the coals with a delicate sound, You enrapture my life with delight, Your nose is so shiny, your head is so round, And your shape is so slender and bright!

Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!

Ain't you pleased with my song?"

III.

"Alas! Mrs. Broom," sighed the Tongs in his song, "Oh! is it because I'm so thin, And my legs are so long,--ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!-- That you don't care about me a pin?

Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room, Ah! why don't you heed my complaint?

Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom, Because you are covered with paint?

Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!

You are certainly wrong."

IV.

Mrs. Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang, "What nonsense you're singing to-day!"

Said the Shovel, "I'll certainly hit you a bang!"

Said the Broom, "And I'll sweep you away!"

So the coachman drove homeward as fast as he could, Perceiving their anger with pain; But they put on the kettle, and little by little They all became happy again.

Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!

There's an end of my song.

THE TABLE AND THE CHAIR.

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I.

Said the Table to the Chair, "You can hardly be aware How I suffer from the heat And from chilblains on my feet.

If we took a little walk, We might have a little talk; Pray let us take the air,"

Said the Table to the Chair.

II.

Said the Chair unto the Table, "Now, you _know_ we are not able: How foolishly you talk, When you know we _cannot_ walk!"

Said the Table with a sigh, "It can do no harm to try.

I've as many legs as you: Why can't we walk on two?"

III.

So they both went slowly down, And walked about the town With a cheerful b.u.mpy sound As they toddled round and round; And everybody cried, As they hastened to their side, "See! the Table and the Chair Have come out to take the air!"

IV.

But in going down an alley, To a castle in a valley, They completely lost their way, And wandered all the day; Till, to see them safely back, They paid a Ducky-quack, And a Beetle, and a Mouse, Who took them to their house.

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V.

Then they whispered to each other, "O delightful little brother, What a lovely walk we've taken!

Let us dine on beans and bacon."

So the Ducky and the leetle Browny-Mousy and the Beetle Dined, and danced upon their heads Till they toddled to their beds.

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NONSENSE STORIES.

THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD.

Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little people whose names were

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VIOLET, SLINGSBY, GUY, and LIONEL; and they all thought they should like to see the world. So they bought a large boat to sail quite round the world by sea, and then they were to come back on the other side by land. The boat was painted blue with green spots, and the sail was yellow with red stripes: and, when they set off, they only took a small Cat to steer and look after the boat, besides an elderly Quangle-w.a.n.gle, who had to cook the dinner and make the tea; for which purposes they took a large kettle.

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For the first ten days they sailed on beautifully, and found plenty to eat, as there were lots of fish; and they had only to take them out of the sea with a long spoon, when the Quangle-w.a.n.gle instantly cooked them; and the p.u.s.s.y-Cat was fed with the bones, with which she expressed herself pleased, on the whole: so that all the party were very happy.

During the daytime, Violet chiefly occupied herself in putting salt water into a churn; while her three brothers churned it violently, in the hope that it would turn into b.u.t.ter, which it seldom if ever did; and in the evening they all retired into the tea-kettle, where they all managed to sleep very comfortably, while p.u.s.s.y and the Quangle-w.a.n.gle managed the boat.

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