New Homeport Island Part 3

Nueme and I were bent over the generator removing bolts from the sump cover she leaned in toward me with a huge smile and laughing as she asked, "What did he just say?" I replied with a laugh, "He only likes black guys."

In the aft section of the ship DC3 Jennifer Hennely and DCFN Culd were trying to determine exactly what makes that sound as the rocking of the ship caused slamming noises with in the repair locker they were standing next to. Hennely said, "That sounded like the fire axe hitting the prefabricated shoring material." Culd replied, "Sounds like a possum with a machine gun to me." Hennely looked at him astonished at his redneck- isms to which Culd responded, "I'm just sayin'" Just then EN2 Rivers ran by with EN3 Gruble and DC3 Risely to the steering gear room. As DC3 Risely pa.s.sed Hennely she grabed his arm and said, "What's going on?" Risely said, "...One of the steering gears." and continued back toward the steering gear room.

Culd yelled across the pa.s.sageway into the machine shop, "Mic...something's wrong with the steering gears." Hennely looked at Culd and said, "A possum?...go get the keys." Over the 1MC the word was pa.s.sed, "Now man aft steering"

The bridge crew was stumbling pa.s.sed the captains at sea stateroom drenched in water as they left the bridge. Captain Artimus just outside the bridge door in the P-way leading back to officer's country told the starboard bridge wing look out Seaman Tammy Melad, "Call it away." Sn Melad replied, "What do you want me to call away?" she stood there soaked and trembling from the cold. Artimus replied, "Flooding on the bridge." Artimus headed to his stateroom to change into a dry uniform. Tammy headed down to use the 1MC mic in combat information central. "f.u.c.k this!" yelled seamen Sirey as she looked down at her drenched uniform and noticed it actually had ice crystals in it. She had been the port bridge wing look out, she looked over at Ens. Spayner standing there trying not to laugh with a delirious smile on her face. Spayner asked, "Weren't you on the port bridge wing?" Sirey responded, "Ya..." Spayner then asked, "...And Melad was on the starboard bridge wing..." and with a laugh she continued, " and your both wet...because it's flooding on the bridge?" Sn Sirey responded in anger, "Okay ma'am first...f.u.c.k you I'm freezing. Second a wave knocked out the bridge windows." Spayner continued to try and contain her laughter and told Sirey, "Go change before you get hypothermia." Sirey recovered her sense of dignity and replied as she headed down to female berthing, "Thank you, ma'am."

DC3 Risely now in the steering gear room wearing a sound powered head phone blurted out, "Of course...I make my way back here and now there's flooding called on the bridge." He looked at EN2 Rivers and leaned over the starboard steering gear as he removed his headset with a cowboy like demeanor asking Rivers, "So, ben...what's that...like nine decks up and a football field forward?" Rivers replied, "I think it's more than one hundred yards forward...you better get started. I'll wear the phones."

Nueme and I were finishing up at the generator in the aft engine room and she asked me, "Did they just say flooding on the bridge?" I replied, "Ya..." She asked with an obvious cold chill about her, "Why are you looking at the hull like that and doesn't that mean we're sinking?" She then visible shuddered and continued, "...I mean the bridge, that's...that's all the way up there." I got a bit of a funny delirious smile myself and listened for any unusual hull noise. Once I realized no one was calling out any flooding over the 2JV and we were in one of the lowest points in the ship I said, "Probably just a broken water line to a fan coil unit. But, I'm not going to do what I'm supposed to do. I am going to head up there." I smirked at her and squinted saying, "Don't make me so nervous." Nueme said, "Going up there isn't what you're supposed to do?" I replied as I left the s.p.a.ce, "No, it should be the DC-men but the bridge flooding is absurd so I'll need to figure out what they should have said." And I sprinted up the ladder. Having done a significant amount of time in heavy sea's on my first ship, about a week stuck in a hurricane in route to Singapore, being at a running pace on a ship rocking that hard was something I could manage.

I reached the bridge and there stood Artimus and Clarkson discussing life at sea. As I walked toward the bridge door Artimus said, "Are you headed that way?" gesturing to the bridge door with his thumb. I replied, "Yes sir." Artimus smiled and said "Perfect, show her how to properly enter a flood s.p.a.ce that I have order no one to go into." I replied, "Aye sir." I then grabbed a d.o.g.g.i.ng wrench from off its clip on the bulkhead and tapped from the center of the door down and then removed the bottom air test fitting. The captain had an astonished look on his face and blurted out, "And what are you listening for when you tap it like that." Clarkson interjected, "He's check to see if it's flooded or at what level the flooding is at. But that's the bridge sir." Artimus looked at me with a glare and said, "What level are you at Lyon?" To which I responded, "There is no flooding sir the bottom air test connection is open and no water is coming through." Artimus asked, "You mean that small tube there?

Hand me the cap." I handed him the cap and he added, "Well, that's one instruction you followed properly." I said, "Sir, our concern is hazarding the ship, a violation of the UCMJ and the only way the bridge is flooded is if we are sunk. The pitching and rolling of the ship isn't that kind of descent." The captain handed me back the cap and said, "You're right." Then he returned to his stateroom. Clarkson asked if it was safe to open now and I said with a degree of doubt inspired astonishment, "...Yes."

I was just beginning to stand up as she reach for the water tight door handle and we ended up in an 'awkward elevator moment' I said, "I'll get it." and she joked, "did someone knock?" I opened the hatch to find one of my suspicions confirmed the bridge windows had been knocked out. Clarkson sat down in the X.O.'s chair and said, "That's what I was telling him, I'm not afraid of getting wet." She turned and looked at me with a flirtatious smile. I winked back at her and said, "I'll get the bridge window plates." The cabinet at the back of the bridge on the starboard side is where the foul weather gear was stored, I grabbed myself a jacket and tossed one to Clarkson. Then I grabbed the bridge window plates and started putting them in the window openings and spun the clamps down as quickly as I could. As Ensign Clarkson watched me she uttered, "Oh s.h.i.t...you got this?" I replied, "Ya." She said, "Say it the right way" with a tremor in her voice from the cold. I announced, "This is Lyon...Acting D.O.D. deputy. I have the deck and the conn." Clarkson uttered again this time an unintelligible noise, "Umphff...it's all yours" Clarkson headed back to inform the captain we actually have the window covers.

After I had placed the windows back in I adjusted the course and speed of the ship from the ships control console and announced in sarcasm, "For the benefit of the flight box recorder, this is Lyon I am the only one on the bridge. The bridge window plates are installed, the bridge windows were knocked out by ...cough...cough... a rogue wave. Heading now one five zero flying at eighteen knots."

Over a speaker in the overhead came a response, "Lyon your emergency transmitter is on. Is the ship okay?" I replied, "Yes sir." The voice then asked, "Why did say 'cough...cough'?" I replied, "A rogue wave is likely what will be reported, we are now skipping across the tops of the waves rather than plowing the troth." The voice on the speaker replied, "Very well, get your captain to the bridge as soon as possible." I replied, "Aye sir." I called over the 1MC, "Secure from flooding on the bridge. Now commence normal underway routine; set the normal underway watch." The captain stepped in and said, "You didn't have to say that last part. Where are you going to be?" I said, "Back down in engineering sir, HT1 will get the windows back in." Artimus replied, "Okay, pa.s.s me the ah...the watch." and I said, "Captain Artimus has the deck and the conn." Just then Ens. Mulner stepped on the bridge and said, "I have the conn." The captain looked at me and said, "go ahead." I replied, "Ens. Mulner has the conn." Captain Artimus said, "just go." and I headed back to the aft engine room.

Clarkson stepped in and reviewed the log book verifying I had made the correct entries. Captain Artimus told them, "Don't let that ever happen again or I will shoot you; or you will have to shoot me."

Risely was at repair five the midships repair locker dedicated to the machinery s.p.a.ces. He had been trying to figure out what equipment was required for flooding on the bridge and was stupefied by the realization that if the water is that high then we are sunk. He stumbled about in confusion like a drunken sailor. As I pa.s.sed he looked and me and asked, "is it over?" I replied, "Yes." Noting that his eyes were oddly wide and he was drooling I suggested he head to berthing for a while.

We remained out to sea for four days. The storm settled and lingered silently over the seas, long flat gray sheets hovering above us. An occasional snow flurry, as though we were in a snow globe, was the only feature to be seen, no stars, no birds, no sun or moon. The rolling of the pacific had become gentle again, like a mother rocking a cradle. Cracking sounds from the ship as the ice fell away and melted were the only disturbance in a now serene environment. We maintained twelve knots and there was no wake to speak of and the break water was little more than a whisper around the bow.

On the third day the sky opened like an oyster sh.e.l.l and we could see the blue beyond once again. The chill had rattled our bones with shivers and fatigued our souls, dream was preferred to reality and many of us went from work straight to sleep. Our dreams are carried briefly into the light; and we recall the whole journey, not just our waking efforts on the decks but the common song we sung...the tone and meter of our days trapped within the belly of our leviathan.

The sea is a bitter mistress, jealous, and carnivorous; every journey survived is cause for elation, the celebration often being a night or two drunken as we wait for our land legs to return and stirring a romantic inspiration from some attractive lover, or mysterious stranger. I stood on the fantail smoking under the newly blued sky, with Mitch Hackel and Tom Norrie. With a sigh and a hung head Tom uttered, "I hope they are kinder to me in my next life." A phrase we adopted in the aft engine room as a means to tell ourselves there is still hope, as well as the phrase 'better you than me.' which caught on so well, it's been heard throughout the entire navy. Fortunately for them, that day would end with pulling back into port. The snow had melted from the pier and much of the roads, and not an angry lawyer in sight.

Through the course of the week the work load grew as discrepancies to safe operation were found rather than shrinking on tasks accomplished. In the GS division there was a trust meeting of the E-5 and E-6. GSM1 Hudlow sat with his fellow cohorts on the mess decks at about ten a.m. while the workers diligently toiled on discrepancy list they complied during their workday in preparation of C.A.R.T. 2, Command a.s.sessment of Readiness and Training.

Hudlow spoke to the small group with an a.s.sumptive demeanor, "So what do we need the guys to do to get squadron, our I.S.I.C. to pa.s.s us on them knowing what to do?" Norrie got a big smile and wiggled his b.u.t.t in his chair as he leaned forward slightly raising his hand before he spoke, and Hudlow interjected, "The floor recognizes GSM two surface warfare specialtist Norrie." Norrie stammered a moment and said, "ah...okay, what's I.S.I.C.?" Hudlow responded, "The floor recognizes me. That's a good question Norrie, what is an I.S.I.C. anyway?" There was a pause as they looked around them.

Hudlow said, "Okay...meeting adjourned." GSM1 Shrotz interjected, "The floor hasn't recognized you, and it means Immediate Superior in Command." Hudlow responded, "Okay, the floor recognizes the swabbie, say again swabbie!"

GSM1 Shrotz said, "Okay, the floor recognizes me. My s.h.i.t and Aux2 are ready, and I know what I'm doing 'floor'."

Hudlow said with a sense of defeat, "Look, I'm just trying to help you guys out. You know I got promoted way faster than you guys." Gillis laughed and said, "you were still at the training command! You had all the time in the world to study for the test." Hudlow responded, "That's exactly what I'm saying. And you guys were out here; you shouldn't have had to study at all."

Shrotz interjected, "Well...you've got a point there. An ignorant point; but a point." Hudlow responded dismissively as he placed some tobacco dip in his mouth, "So what's your point?" Shrotz replied, "I don't have one." Hudlow sighed, "That's my point."

Shrotz got dizzy and fixed his navy issued gla.s.ses to his face and said, "That you have no point? You called this meeting!"

Hudlow smirked and said, "Exactly...point of order."

In the chiefs mess there was a similar meeting taking place.

Chief Rickly said, "Hey Carl, your idiots are having a meeting on the mess decks and let me just say, you can't make this s.h.i.t up. I was just around the corner and Hudlow is recognizing the floor." The command master chief said, "ya..ya..carl has idiots.

Let's get this meeting started. Who's taking the minutes?"

Rickly chuckled and said, "You asked that every time and I offer to take them every time and then you say since we don't have a legalman or a yeomen; it'll have to be the master at arms." The CMC responded, "Okay, let's do that then. So, who's taking the minutes?" Chief Ballzese said, "Me." as he spit tobacco slim into his otherwise empty soda can and glanced at Rickly smugly.

Rickly pointed at him and said, "Don't you start. Okay let's get started." Master Chief Hauldbalm retorted, "We just did where were you?" Rickly shrugged and sat down.

Being inport after a storm at sea tends to remind a crew it's good to plan ahead. The oncoming inspection would be just another step in certifying the ship. As the Advanced Training Group arrived the chief petty officers were deep into their holistic plan to bring about world peace through a single cup of coffee and the officers were scripting a series of responses to upcoming disasters. Knowing the training gaps made it easy to foresee the drama and not pointing out deficiencies in sailors holding a rank worthy of consideration also afforded hero moments...at least, in the eyes of the officers. To most of the crew the training deficiencies led to moments of gross incompetence rather than opportunities for subordinates to 'shine'.

"So the big heroes are back for a jaunt at sea, huh?" the ATG chief asked. "Big hero's?" as the petty officer of the watch OS1 Worksen. "Ya, huh...I'm chief Bladd with ATG, you're the ones that declared martial law aren't you?...because it snowed?"

The chief said with a smirk not knowing if he would be struck with a fist or see the young guy giggle. Worksen replied, "You'd have to ask the captain, chief. I don't know anything about declaring martial law, I know we sent out some electricians mates to restore power and a lot of us had to get a ride in." Chief Bladd said, "Well, my ride in was okay and I'm told it was a big deal, they don't want you guys looking bad so were gonna' make sure everything is up to snuff."

As the chiefs and officers of the Advanced Training Group crossed the quarterdeck an entirely different type of dark cloud began to form over the ship. The chiefs headed to the chiefs mess and the officers to the wardroom lounge. The quarterdeck received a call from the chief's mess informing them they should have announced their arrival on the 1MC or at least called the captain. After the phone conversation Worksen keyed the 1MC, "A.T.G. arriving." followed by a clank of the bell. The messenger of the watch looked at Worksen with an odd look and Worksen asked, "Just the stinger right?" The messenger of the watch, BMSN Dawlson said, "Wasn't one of them a captain?"

Worksen replied, "Screw it the word's already been pa.s.sed."

The officers made a parade of phone calls followed by a meandering promenade to the wardroom, as the chiefs many of which were already in the mess, started the one upmanship and glad-handing.

"So, how was the underway?" asked Chief Bladd. Master Chief Hauldblam replied, "We were walking on the bulkheads."

Chief Bladd smiled and said, "You head out because of the snow?" Master Chief Hauldbalm replied, "There was a small boat in distress, they got into safe harbor before we reached them...better safe than sorry I guess." Bladd looked stunned, "You see that? They only tell us half the story...didn't hear anything about a small boat trapped out there." Chief Dotle replied, "Ya, instantly made friends with our captain as soon as they found out we were on our way to render a.s.sistance. He must have guided them through the storm over the radio. It was very rough out there." Bladd said, "Sounds like a good guy, you guys got lucky. They're making a big deal about your rep. they don't want you to lose it so the inspections gonna' be tight."

In the wardroom lounge the officers from the ship mingled indiscriminately s.n.a.t.c.hing folders, reports, and instructions out of each other's hands just as they had finished reading it; like a news room working on a deadline. Spayner asked, "Why am I reading a grocery list?" Mr. Mormus replied, "It's better than this laundry list." Spayner said, "No, this is an actual grocery list." Captain Artimus stepped around from the dining area into the lounge and said, "Give it to the supply officer."

As they commenced their meeting reviewing the evaluation points and performance objectives, the ship slowed in its daily routine, waiting for a work list the length of your arm to come flooding out of the wardroom. Officers and chiefs unfamiliar to the crew would be found wandering the decks or conversing in the pa.s.sageways. They would tour work centers and offices asking questions and inspecting equipment and paperwork. At this point the crew knows only two things, stay out of their way and 'it is better to be alive'. The work load is soon to become demanding, even overwhelming, and has been known to prompt divorce because the sailor is never home, or long bouts of sobriety in unmarried sailors.

I was back in the engine room and Mitch was in a good mood, "What are you sweatin' now Rob?" Mitch asked. Norrie interjected, "He don't know he just sweats sweatin'" Depree said, "It's the inspection...he was on a tender and he has seen it much better than this and so have I." I said, "The inspectors look lost, the officers are hiding, and the chiefs are going to declare us all super bowl winners...happens everytime."

Hudlow came up to the boiler flat from the lower level with a clip board in his hand with an astonished look on his face and said, "I checked what they said to check...we've got a lot of work to do, I'm going to the mess. Depree get Nueme and do wipers, Lyon and Norri get two gen. ready, Hackel and Separk head back to three gen. and clean it up." We all headed out to our spots thinking here it comes.

Up in C.I.C. there were circuit cards everywhere, the operational specialist had every manual they could get their hands on out; including ones for other systems for comparison.

They were searching for a master lamp driver somewhere in the system, it seems one of the inspectors made a sarcastic comment regarding burnt out indicator lights and he was misunderstood.

But at least they looked busy. OSSN Williams said, "I thought these things had bulbs." Electronic technician first cla.s.s s.p.a.clavia said, "I don't care what you have to do Athena, the lamp test b.u.t.ton has to light them all." Williams replied, "Worksens on watch once he's done he'll show us."

In Auxiliaries s.p.a.ce one, EN3 Rich, EN2 River, and EN3 Elper were combing through the wiring and gauge lines of number one A.C. River asked, "When did this thing become a rats nest?" Elper responded, "It's the electrician's mate's dude.

Houval was supposed to replace the grommets. "

On the bridge BM1 Branson, SN Melad, and BM3 Brock were straightening up the bridge when Ens. Clarkson stepped through the water tight door she asked, "What are you guys doing up here?" Branson replied, "We're boatswain mates ma'am were supposed to be up here, aren't you and engineering officer ma'am?" Clarkson responded a bit nervous, "Ya, I just needed to step out of the wardroom for a minute." Then Clarkson broke wind with a loud and nauseating fart and said with a big bright smile, "Thanks...enjoy that." Branson's eyes began to water and Tammy Melad asked, "Are you crying because we get s.h.i.t on all the time, or does it smell that bad?"

Branson looked over rubbing his nose and coughed out the reply, "Both." and they all laughed. As they left the bridge down the pa.s.sageway they pa.s.sed the wardroom door just as Captain Artimus stepped out, his eye were red and teary. As Melad walked past him she asked, "Clarkson?" The captain replied with a distant look, "Yep.." Bm3 Brock smacked Melad on the back of the head. The Captain rested his head in his hand covering his eyes with a groan.

The end of the workday was near and the inspectors would be there all week. Mr. Yurganson of ATG announced to the crew through a grapevine of khaki wearing chiefs and officers at quarters being held throughout the ship that, "This will be a quick and painless process of verifying the captains a.s.sertions that this is by far the only ship he would choose to command, and meets the rigorous demands of the navy and the job at hand." Unfortunately Captain Dave Artimus tends to believe 'word play' to be some form of brilliant legal trickery that causes a win every time. As his semantics change it is not seen as a clarification but as an attempt to recant his statement. The reply from the Advanced Training Group was a rea.s.suring, "We'll get you there captain." As ATG made its way through the ship the pending man hours began to stack up and the earlier statement of 'a painless process' was updated to being only as painful as a root ca.n.a.l.

The Auxiliaries division as well as the deck division and a few electricians mates stood at the anchor windless it's conduit box was full of lint and dust, its electrical wiring had been yanked from their connections with bare wire showing past chemically damaged insulation, and its bearings rumbled even with the anchor chain pulled away. Elper and Dames stood astonished looking at it, Elper asked, "Who even takes care of this thing?" Brock and Sirey responded, "You do." And Haydel added, "And their chief says we do." Sirey asked, "So what do we do? draw straws?" EN2 Dames said, "Okay, I'll say it.

Check the PMS cards, those say what rate is supposed to do what." Sirey asked, "Like what?" Brock replied, "grease the bearings" Haydel replied, "Clean the controller and p.e.c.k.e.r head." and Elper replied, "refilling the air oiler."

In the forward engine room Gillis stood with Washam at the module door to Gas turbine module two alpha enclosure and they were attempting to explain the oil leaks coming from all over the engine. Washam told the inspector, "It just hasn't had a water wash yet." Gillis said, "We'll get someone in the to wipe it up...it's not like we can fix a labyrinth seal; we'd need a new engine." The inspector, Lt. Yurganson responded, "How about we take care of what we already have. That's what the Preventative Maintenance System is for."

Meanwhile in Admiral Dufsin's Yeoman second cla.s.s Karen Meslanka walked into the admirals office and said, "Admiral preliminary reports from the Afloat Training Group have arrived regarding the Paul F Foster." Dufsin replied as he took the paper work from her hand, "How are they doing."

Karen replied, "Well it starts with explaining they introduced themselves as the Advanced Training Group and goes downhill from there." Dufsin said, "Advanced? ...On Artimus's ship?" and he began flipping through the pages. YN2 Meslanka waited a moment and asked, "Will there be anything else sir?" Dufsin replied, "Call chief Tayed and have him to head over there."

Meslanka responded, "Yes sir." and headed to her desk.

As ADM. Dufsin flipped through the pages he said to himself, "Well that's a fail." and dismissively tossed the report to the side and turn on his television...it was Wapner time. 'The people's court' and the 'jerry springer show' were favorites of his and were replayed at lunch time on his ships just so those crews would know 'what the h.e.l.l he was talking about.'

Out at the pier the pier sentry steps out of his booth and lights a cigarette. The crew is leaving the ship for the day with the exception of the duty section. The pier sentry is hoping one of his friends will bring him back a pizza. But the night life out on the town rarely affords the chance to squeeze in a pizza run for someone on duty.

Pulling off the base in your car is time consuming; it's a rush hour and a thirty minute wait to get off base. Radio's blaring and the occasional shaken fist or impromptu dance party at parked cars. Back in sunny San Diego this lead to often lead to a precession to the nearest party spot, but here in Everett days without rain were few and far between.

The local bars empty their tills and brace for an onslaught of potentially under aged and under paid service members. Back street innuendo from wanna be bad a.s.ses, shoving fights complete with hair pulling and the occasional 'oh s.h.i.t these two are for real' are on tonight's menu as well as a sultry come on from a young female service member...some of the males as well.

I found myself in the Casbah a good bar for finding a one night stand, there wouldn't be many squids there some sailors a.s.sumed on account of the name that it must be a gay bar. I far as I was concerned it just meant more fish in the sea for me. I sat drinking a Corona complete with the slice of lime; I drank there regularly so they kept it in stock. I watched the women come and go as the night pa.s.ses looking for an attractive one showing those symptoms of hormone imbalance or s.e.xual arousal, which unfortunately included a degree of confrontation. But so long as the confrontation was directed at her female companions it was 'all good'.

As I sat chain smoking and nursing my beer, I noticed Athena Williams stroll in with Amber Dallon and a few other girls from the crew. Girls night out and I had a front row seat. I walked over to the juke box, as a regular I knew it usually didn't work because the bartender had a cut out switch and she only like country music, but she could handle the eighties music and that's what I tended to play.

The room was kept dim and I moved through the swirls of smoke back to my table undetected, the light above my table is burnt out and that is why I sit there. From across the room I watch the girls settle in and relax as the juke box plays 'In the Mood by Robert Plant' the bartender shoots me a look and signals just this one. I made sure I blended in as the girls get their drinks and find myself slightly startled as Charlie McCready says at an elevated volume, "Oh I know...isn't he?" flowed by laughter. I thought to myself 'this is going to be funny.' Justina Mier said, "Did you meet that ensign?" Athena replied, "Selinas?" Justina said, "ya...what a douchebag. He was in senior chief Rickly a.s.s about Freon we couldn't account for."

Jennifer Hennely said, "Same guy c.r.a.pped on me about an eductor we lost." Jamie Russ added, "And I didn't know how to operate the remote valve station...neither did Culd." Jamie glanced over at me and said, "I think that guys looking at us."

The girls responded, "Which one and how's my hair?" and laughed. Justina said, "Oh s.h.i.t I know that one." Athena called over, "hey you wanna buy us some drinks?" I glanced around and she replied, "Ya, you...get over here." I went over and sat down and Athena said, "Oh s.h.i.t Rob I didn't realize it was you...buy us some drinks and get the h.e.l.l out of here." I laughed and replied, "If you really get drunk on one drink then we'll do that." Charlie interjected, "That isn't what she said." and Athena looked around and said, "Ya I did...didn't I?" I said I'd get the drinks.

As I pa.s.sed around a myriad of bizarre mixed drinks Tammy Melad said, "I guess you really are trying to get laid, huh Rob?" someone blurted out, "Oh, he's getting laid." I laughed and sat down. Justina asked, "So, did you meet that ensign...Selinas?" I replied, "Ya he chewed Hudlow's a.s.s for not knowing how to do a PMS check he's supposedly been doing for two years on the Low Pressure Air Compressor."

Charlie retorted, "Oh and you do?" I replied dismissively, "Ya, I do." Athena said, "So how's tricks Rob?" as she took a sip from her blue concoction. I smiled and winked.

The following morning on the ship the word was pa.s.sed, "Quarters Quarters all hands to Quarters for muster instruction and inspection." I stood at morning quarters with a slight buzz and a big grin. Ens. Clarkson conducted quarters reading from the Plan of the day as to the upcoming circus fiasco we would find ourselves trapped in. We were told the captain was coming to our morning muster but he had other stops to make as well.

As we waited GSE3 Gabriel Nosion told us a story about the sticky rice people. He himself was Filipino, the sea serpent people. He had a tattoo of an angel fighting a sea serpent on the back of a sea turtle. He said it was the sticky rice people that taught him how to ripen fruit with a bag of rice. His stories were comical and put everyone at ease. And when he spoke Tagalog it mesmerized us. Gabriel said, "Sa lahat ng mga dagat may mga lamang ang aming pangalan at walang iba. Sumakay namin ang mga wave hanggang sa susunod na tide at mananatiling namin sailors kahit na matapos namin ang namatay."

Gsm2 Scott Strutszer c.o.c.ked his head with a day dream look and said, "Ahh.." Everyone waited for Strutszer to say something more, or at least move and he just stood there in a cloud. Gabriel eventually pointed at him while looking at Chief Pete and said, "Ya...that too."

When the captain stepped in he struck a stance and said, "Okay..." as he rubbed his hands together, "there are a few things to announce." As the captain glanced around the room he did a double take when he saw Strutser. He said with a flutter in his voice, "What's wrong with him?" pointing at Scott.

Everyone shrugged and Shrotz said, "He's just that way."

Artimus replied, "Whoever is sucking his d.i.c.k down there had better be a girl." Gillis was standing beside Strutszer and stepped aside, the captains view was obstructed because they were standing at the island table on the damage control side of central control station and the captain was still over by the EOOW chair on the console side.

The captain stood there with us waiting for the apparent low grade seizure to end when Strutszer finally said, "Say something else." Artimus responded, "Okay, simple version for you guys, just do what we tell you to." Which startled Strutszer and he straighten his gla.s.ses as he blushed. Artimus called Clarkson and the chiefs over to him and with a brief pow wow they dismissed E-5 and below and within five minutes recalled Strutszer and Gillis since they had the highest rank in the forward engine room and were lacking an E-6.

To compensate for the bad results to the ongoing inspection the plan was to appear to have no plan and develop one 'on the fly'. They discussed the discrepancies that would be found as the inspection continued and how to appear to be caught unaware. Captain Artimus complimented them for being so far ahead of him in his own plan, and asked them to start developing a reb.u.t.tal or 'come back' when the hit lists were reviewed. As he left the s.p.a.ce he asked Strutszer to get his prescription check and Strutzser replied, "I can still see okay... they only have to give me new gla.s.ses about every two years; and my eyes are getting better." Artimus smiled and responded, "Glad to hear it, but that isn't what I was talking about."

Artimus meet with Momus in the captains in port stateroom. Artimus said, "This part of the inspection cycle is mostly engineering. And...we don't stand a chance, I would trust those monkey's with a jar of peanut b.u.t.ter they would be sure to choke themselves." Mormus laughed and asked, "What about the smart ones?" Artimus replied, "They have, or are soon to desert."

As the inspectors arrived at about ten in the morning they appeared well rested and in a positive mood, the crew however was demoralized. By navy standards that destroyer had been left for dead and over taken by chimpanzees. Within the Navy our reputations were already dead, the navy detailers writing orders for transfers and new duty stations would not send us anyone that had any measure of hope to accomplish anything at all within their service. We needed a change of the tides. Bad news travel fast and worser news travels almost at the speed it happened at. The inspection team had met with the squadron commander and there was an offer of concession, "The ship, USS Paul F Foster; Concedes it is not yet ready for its C.A.R.T.

2 a.s.sessment. The ships goal oriented demeanor has struck inconsistency in its methods between the Navy's ideal and the safe functionality of a Spruance cla.s.s destroyer. The ship will enter an intensive training period to bring itself back on course with Navy principles and conduct. Further, the Afloat Training Group and all commands involved are issued an apology from the captain and his crew for obstructing the timely completion of the Navy's mission."

Chapter Three.

Helping an Angel We were pier side moored to the starboard side which in this case means bow out. The inspectors had left the ship and in their wake was disillusionment and despair. Winter had fallen away and warmer weather would greet us every morning as spring approached. We were a co-ed crew and hormone changes came with the season change, and love was in the air...well, l.u.s.t was in the air.

The warmth poured into the ship in the morning, the women were perfumed and the men were hungry. As we were greeted by squadron staff for intensive training and instruction; E-4 and below were sullen. The instruction had been: 'work a.s.signments will be verified as a.s.signed to an appropriately knowledgeable person; and for E-5 and above there would be cla.s.ses and seminars, taking not less than two hours of the workday'. The simple translation for E-4 and below was: "You will be working under chiefs and officers from squadron staff and your normal superiors will be sleeping in cla.s.ses all day.

Leading to those E-5 and above a.s.serting they alone now know how to do the job, anyone else, E-4 and below for example, are just in the way. But hey...it's the navy, just don't re-enlist."

The captain called an all hands meeting in the helo-hangar.

He announced to the crew, "Thank you, for all the fine work you've been doing I know your all working real hard and have your cla.s.ses except for the E-4 and below. I would really like to see them apply themselves as well, and get some rank on their sleeves but that just hasn't happened yet. From my meetings I've learned it's the junior ranks we expect to get in there and do the actual physical labor and I was looking for any input at all I may get to help make that happen. It's been suggested that working hours for them be extended, since they don't have to do the cla.s.ses." There was a grown from the crowd and not one but all the first cla.s.s petty officers looked around with profound concern. Hudlow held his hand up in the captain's direction shaking his hand as if trying to stop a car as he looked around with full blown paranoia, once he saw EN3 Mier starting to cry and blurted out, "Sir, those...those things we said were just for your ears." and with that we were done. I cried out, "E-4 and below dismissed resume your normal workday." and we left the helo-hangar.

Senior Chief Johann said, "See that is exactly what we are talking about." To which GSE2 Ballen replied, "That's right senior a good workmen, like us, always blames their tools!"

GSCS Johann said, "d.a.m.n it, Ballen I told you there's a way this is done and if you want to join them then go right the f.u.c.k ahead and do it!" Ballen responded, "Those guys are the ones doing the work all day while these b.i.t.c.hes are sleeping in these 'cla.s.ses' and I wouldn't even call it a cla.s.s, it's two to four hours of looking for a scapegoat." Artimus looked at Ballen and asked, "I'm asking you now, Have I been misinformed?" Ballen replied, "Yes sir." Artimus said, "I don't see how that help us much, but I now just want to speak with E-7 and above." OS1 Worksen interjected, "but, we didn't say anything...he's an E-5.

Sir, the first cla.s.ses have plenty to contribute." The Captain slowly nodded three times and said, "I'll hear that through your chiefs. Now E-6 and below you are dismissed."

Bobby Ballen left the helo-hanger red faced an unhealthy mixture of embarra.s.sment and rage. As he left in a precession of blue shirts he asked while looking down, "You really just going to try and blame them?" ET2 Graw responded, "You saw what they just did, Ballen. How the f.u.c.k are we supposed to get anything done?"

The captain watched them leave the helo-hanger and said to master chief Hauldbalm, "Those guys sure sound like a bunch of p.i.s.sed off captains don't they?" The master chief responded, "Yes sir they do, I saw who it was that called for the thirds and below to walk off and I'll talk to him." The captain shook his hand at the Master Chief and said, "That won't be necessary, I know where he's coming from." The captain paused and scratched his chin, a posture the CMC had never seen before from him and he then asked, "Ah...command master chief...tell me, if you can, how those E-5 and E-6 could possibly get anything done without the thirds and seamen." Hauldbalm replied, "Without the chain of command we are dead in the water sir, so I do see what you mean." The captain sighed and said, "I don't think you do master chief. Did you still work after E-5, or was it all delegation?" The Master chief responded, "I'm one year from retirement, the navy hasn't made any d.a.m.n sense to me at all since all this s.e.xual hara.s.sment 'tail hook' s.h.i.t started sir. You just tell me what you want me to say..." and he paused regaining his composure he continued with a sigh, "and I'll say it."

Artimus pated Hauldbalm on the shoulder, "You've earned that retirement. Tell these chiefs I don't expected E-5 and above to think they have made captain or that they are above working" and Artimus walked off. After the captain was at a safe distance Hauldbalm turned to the remaining chiefs there and one of the chiefs blurted out, "What the h.e.l.l does he expect us to do?" The Master Chief said, "You heard him right..." The chiefs noded, "most of you were no better than a second cla.s.s if not a seamen when I put on anchors for the first time. The one with zero stars on it...and I'm tellin' you b.a.s.t.a.r.ds to get to work or get your b.i.t.c.hes to do it for you." and with that the master chief walked away.

Chief Carl uttered, "I'm close to retirement but not that close...I am however now closer to being an I.T. then a G.S.M.

Sh.o.r.e duty...computers have been my thing for a while." Rickly said, "Some of those guys don't expect to have to ever work again, and the s.h.i.t they've been talking about some of the E-4 and below I know is bulls.h.i.t. I guess the command doesn't think anything of me either, I signal them that the guy talking is actually the skate...they just don't get it."

Over the 1MC from the bridge the captain called out, "If I could have your attention please...this is the captain. Something we did get to in our meeting on the flight deck is we have an upcoming mission we will be getting underway for...ah, tomorrow. I look forward to the time we will be spending together under what looks to be fair to mild seas. I expect we will work out any kinks during this time." after the captain spoke there was a brief delay followed by Mr. Mormus adding, "That is all."

For the rest of the day the First cla.s.ses would sit at a distance trying to goat the thirds and the seamen into lashing out in violence while they were still on the ship and had the support of the other first cla.s.ses. They wouldn't have any help at all out on the town that night, they tried to imply the underway period was going to be rough on the low ranking since it had been revealed to everyone that at Second cla.s.s petty officer and above you were longer expected to actually work...the captain said it himself. This led to multiple counts of 'deck plate discipline' and the realization of many that it doesn't follow rank, righteous indignation affords it's victim a strength...it is easier to strike cleaner and harder when you know you are right. Guilt robs its victim of strength and is a defeat in itself.

That day...that reality was proved. Several chiefs returned to the chief's mess b.l.o.o.d.y at the nose, first cla.s.ses retreated to any area of the ship that would not result in an a.s.s beating for them in particular. At the end of the day they fought their way through their berthings or waited for someone to check that the coast was clear. The captain watched the ships brow as the crew departed. Mr. Mormus joined him on the bridge wing Artimus looked over at him and asked, "You sure this bridge wing can hold both of our weights?...d.a.m.n near lost the ship today."

Mormus looked at the brow and said, "I'm just hoping to make it to my car."

The following day the first cla.s.ses at quarters issued an apology and stated they had made the mistake of including the second cla.s.ses with them and understood that it detracted from them so much that the 'little rebellion' was absolutely necessary.

The reply was actually issued from the division officers; they had had a meeting at the captain's house that night and reviewed the actual performance roles of those in their divisions. The division officers warned the first cla.s.ses to stay the h.e.l.l out of their way and out of our way as well.

The rest of the day the 'elitists' as they had been labeled by several junior officers walked about the ship tending to what duties they could knowing an a.s.s kicking might be right around the corner, and the chief petty officers didn't leave the mess except for the CMC looking to make sure no one was still homicidal, and trying to make peace. That attention worked for some of the E-4 and below, with a few empty promises and plat.i.tudes, and with that the 'little rebellion' was renamed 'dirty laundry day' it seems the majority of merit the first cla.s.s petty officers were using to make their stance had actually been the accomplishments of the E-4 and below. The E-5 were now to be their scapegoats but the thirds and below wouldn't accept that either, the chain of command turned upside down and authority rested solely on those with the ability to affect actual results rather than excuses.

Upon the word from the bridge, "Shift colors. Underway." the tension of the ship eased we were to be underway for a week and had set to sea at 2 p.m. We were headed to a certain set of G.P.S. coordinates to facilitate a communications link. In C.I.C. the captain briefed the enlisted with a more face forward approach, he would no longer expected a sailors uniform to communicate his or her ident.i.ty or even their role there on the ship...pay grades can be deceiving. Many of the junior enlisted were permanently dissuaded from ever seeking promotion as a result of 'Dirty Laundry Day' and they were quite clear about that as some tried to imply there was ground to be made up if they expected to ever get promoted. One more piece of fantasy leverage lost to an entire crew.

The ship was cutting the waters in fair seas, the rolls didn't pitch the ship more than twelve degrees; the skies had cleared and presented a beautiful shade of blue all the way to the horizon. The social cliques were still askew but they needed a break from each other anyways. Captain Artimus sat in his chair and stood on the bridge wings; for the first time he was in command of a truly cut throat ship, every aspect of that was wrong and something to be ashamed of but at the same time absolutely extraordinary.