Nature Of Desire: Worth The Wait Part 25

Julie grinned. "I expect that has more to do with my schedule. I'm in theater and we're always working impossible hours."

"Sounds a lot like nursing." As the children shrieked, both women looked up to see that Des had swung off the parallel bars. He was chasing the two kids as they played keep away with his hat. He could have caught either one easily, but was lunging and missing to prolong the game.

"Lord, he's always had more heart than sense, but he's so good with those kids." Betty shook her head. "See the boy? Justice was terrified of anything even resembling a needle. Yet Des has him putting on his pump and testing his blood sugar like it's nothing out of the ordinary. None of the drama and tears that were giving his poor parents gray hairs."

"I'm familiar with Des's powers of persuasion," Julie said. "They're hard to resist. Do you know how he did it?"

The crow's feet around Betty's attractive pale green eyes crinkled. "That's a kind way of saying he's stubborn as a stump. But he can be clever, patient and kind about it, which is often just what these kids need. Took me a while to pry it out of him, since he initially said it was a secret bro code between him and Justice."

Betty shook her head. "He told the boy to imagine he was a super hero. Putting on the pump would give him powers against the evil Dr. Sharp, whose strength draws from fear of needles."

Betty considered the thin boy as Des caught him, reclaiming the hat, but in their wrestling for it, his arm ended up around Justice's back and the boy took the opportunity to give him a self-conscious hug. Des returned it in full measure, ruffling his hair.

"He told Justice that every kid who sticks his finger or puts on his pump without fear lessens Dr. Sharp's power, so he can't do bad things to make the world a darker place. I had the pleasure of being there the first time Justice put on his pump without fuss. Afterward, he was beaming from ear to ear. Des high-fived him and exclaimed, 'See, it worked. The world just became brighter, right? That was all you. Your name says it all, man. Justice kicks the a.s.s of darkness.'"

Betty used her hands, voice and widened eyes expressively to bring the story to life. It suggested she was good with kids herself. Since Des obviously held her in fond regard from his own childhood, that came as no surprise.

Julie watched Des put Justice up on the parallel bars, spotting him so he could hang upside down. The boy laughed and then yelled as Des and the little girl tried to tickle him. She wondered if there was anyone Des wasn't comfortable around.

"So are you involved with the playground project, or just here to see Des?"

"I'm here to see Des, but he got involved with this through me. A patient from this neighborhood told me they were renovating the playground and needed skilled volunteer labor. I told Des and here he is, with his friends." Betty smiled. "He and I go way back."

"He said you were the nurse at the boys' home where he was raised."

Betty gave her another speculative look, as if she hadn't expected that to be something Julie would know. "Yes. After he moved out on his own at eighteen, I eventually went into PA work. Physician's a.s.sistant. When he transitioned from an endocrinologist to an internist, as often happens when Type I kids grow up, he came to my boss. Now I'm his PA as well as his landlady."

"So, was he a cool teenager? Give me something that will mortify him. How can I bribe you?"

Betty chuckled. "He was a very cool teenager."

"I'm not surprised to hear it," Julie admitted. "He mentioned he dealt with a lot of health problems. My takeaway from what little he said was that he had to be a pretty remarkable kid to be as good with life as he seems to be now."

The personal note gave Julie the chance to convey the less than subtle message that Des had shared confidences with her, in case Betty wanted to be more forthcoming. She didn't want the woman to betray Des's trust, but now that she'd admitted to herself and him that she was falling in love with him, Julie wanted to know as much about him as she could.

Betty met Julie's gaze. "I believe," she said, with a look that Julie was sure had made more than one boy squirm, "this is where I ask you your intentions with regard to Des."

"That's a great combination of Southern traditional courtesy and 'don't bulls.h.i.t me or I'll stomp you like a bug.'" Julie shifted closer, turning on her hip to give Betty her full attention. "I'm falling head-over-heels with him and terrified he's going to betray my heart and treat me like c.r.a.p. He's made it clear that he might screw up my life entirely, but the one thing he'll never do is treat me badly."

Betty blinked. "You do brutal honesty very well. But yes, you are right. Des won't ever treat you carelessly. He's guarded himself so long because he doesn't want to hurt anyone. However, by doing that, I think he's closed himself off from having a truly two-way relationship, where he can be given the gift of someone's heart." Betty gave her another searching look. "Perhaps that's changed."

"Well, let's not go insane. It doesn't say anything about his feelings. I could be a very charming stalker."

Betty's eyes sparkled. "I think not. He doesn't bring women home, and I've never seen any of them visit him while he's working."

"Well, technically this isn't a job site. Though I have been to one of those." At Betty's satisfied look, Julie held up a hand. "Okay, don't freak me out, because being in love with him and okay with that is still new to me and porcelain fragile. Let's go back to the impressive teenager thing and you telling me stuff about him I don't know. If I've pa.s.sed the initial test."

"I think you have." Betty's expression was a mix of fascination and wary amus.e.m.e.nt, but she crossed her legs, readjusting the folder beneath her thigh. "Des spent so much time in doctor's offices and hospitals," she said. "It wasn't an easy childhood, but I expect that's what made him Des and what helps him be so good with these kids. He doesn't let them feel sorry for themselves, not a bit, but he's always there with a hug or a pat on the shoulder when needed."

"Were you the one who provided that for him?"

The nurse looked surprised, but her shrewdness returned. "You have a kind heart. He needs that. I was there more than most, and it was still a sad subst.i.tute for full-time parents. He was unadoptable, as you can imagine. He accepted that early on, and the need to care for himself. He hated hospitals, doctors, people poking him and taking away his choices. I told him the best way to minimize that was to take complete control of his health."

Betty smiled at Des fondly. He was back over in the construction area, giving the kids pavers to carry to a section of the playground. "It was something to see, a nine-year-old explaining his medical history as capably as an adult. Ten-dollar medical terms tripping off his tongue like a foreign language he knew fluently. He'd tell a doctor what he'd overlooked, or show new techs how to do procedures on him more efficiently."

Betty stopped. "I have a tendency to want to talk about him to someone who thinks he's as remarkable as I do," she admitted. "You were looking at him that way when I sat down, but it wasn't naively starry-eyed. I sense you've already met his frustrating side."

"The head like a brick thing? Oh yeah. But it sounds like that may have made him what he is, too."

"It is. Our weaknesses and strengths often switch places in unexpectedly beneficial ways."

Julie considered that in relation to herself. Her heart had been broken plenty, but maybe those disappointments had been necessary for her to appreciate all that Des was, all the two of them could be. But she could ponder life paths later.

"So sick kid, orphan, it didn't matter." Julie pursed her lips. "He just took it in stride and moved forward? I'm not disagreeing. He seems far more at ease with any trouble in his past than most of my friends. And their biggest therapy issue is usually that daddy didn't hug them enough."

"It's often hard for those of us who have had family support to understand," Betty explained. "But a kid in the system, there isn't another option. You take care of yourself because numbers and time are against you getting a lot of one-on-one attention. But don't mistake taking-in-stride for easy. He had his low moments. He just never really expected anyone to be there to hold his hand through...anything."

Shadows pa.s.sed through the nurse's eyes as she looked toward Des again, but when she brought her attention back to Julie, her gaze had lightened, heralding a lighter subject. "So you really expect me to buy that falling-in-love c.r.a.p? Admit it. You're just using him for s.e.x."

Julie laughed. "I admit he's extremely good at that, but no. He makes me laugh and..."

Her gaze shifted to him. He was offering each kid a supervised turn at the giant circular saw, a mother's nightmare. She'd intended to give Betty a flip response, but that wasn't what came from her lips. "I've been looking for a good man for a long time," she admitted. "He is one, and I'm hoping this will turn into a good thing for both of us. Too early to tell, but it sure feels right."

Betty touched her hand, a casual affection. "Your eyes are sparkling, so I'd say you're working a heavy crush on my boy." She c.o.c.ked her head. "You're not Southern."

"No. Born in Oregon, but most of my life has been theater up in New York, Boston and Philly. I'm down here getting Wonder on its feet."

"Oh the erotic theater. I should have known he'd be involved in that." At Julie's surprised expression, Betty grinned. "I'm not a monk. Some girlfriends were gushing about it. They said I needed to buy tickets, but I missed my chance."

"Oh." Julie paused, not sure what to say to that. How would Des have felt, knowing a woman who'd served in an obvious maternal capacity to him was watching his part of the show?

"Ah." Betty's shrewd gaze said she'd connected the dots in less than a blink. "He was in it, wasn't he? With his fancy rope stuff? Oh, dear, don't look surprised. I've known about that side of his nature for a while, though we don't talk about it in great detail."

She sobered again. "At one time a whole platoon of nurses, doctors and specialists regularly prodded into Des's every day-to-day decision. Complete privacy wasn't a choice for him. It's routine to him now, but he still has to examine every choice under a microscope. s.e.x, exercise, job choices; anything that puts stress on his body. Fortunately, he's self-sufficient enough at this point to get by mostly with one medical care consultant. Or as he fondly calls me, 'the pain in his a.s.s constantly interfering with his life.'"

Though Betty was keeping the conversation to generalities, it confirmed Julie's earlier suspicions, that Des's health concerns went beyond basic diabetic care.

"His rope work calms him and reduces his stress level, in one way at least." She gave Julie an unexpectedly impish wink. "I admit, I've been curious about it for a long time. Seeing him on stage, me hidden in the faceless audience, that would have been the least embarra.s.sing option for me to satisfy my curiosity, wouldn't it? I hate I missed it."

"Well, we did tape the last show. I'd be happy to let you borrow it, as long as you promise not to post it on YouTube for millions of viewers." Julie fished out a card for her. "And if ever you want to come to another show at Wonder, we keep a few seats set by for special requests. Just tell me how many friends you'll be bringing and I'll make sure you have good seats."

Betty took the card. "How very kind of you. Oh, look out now, I've been busted. He finally noticed who was sitting with you. The first few times he looked over, all he saw was you." Betty winked at her.

Des was coming their way. Julie noted a faint tightening of his jaw when his gaze shifted between them that suggested Betty's presence wasn't entirely welcome. Did it bug him that she and Betty might be talking about him? Was he worried that one or both of them was saying too much?

Regardless, when he approached, he bent and kissed the older woman on the cheek. She put her arms around his neck, a brief intimacy and eye lock that confirmed their long history. While Julie was sure that journey hadn't always been smooth, the most enduring relationships were like that, weren't they?

"Exchanging stories?" Des said casually.

"Your ears must be burning," Julie said, just as mildly. "She was singing your praises. I'm not believing a word of it."

"Smart girl." Sitting down on the other side of Julie, so he could angle his body toward both women, he c.o.c.ked his head toward the playground. "They're having a ball. And, miracle of miracles, they're actually helping. Mylo has some good carpentry skills when he's not trying to charm and hustle everyone. You here to enjoy the show?" he asked Betty.

"And to talk to you about these." Betty tapped the folder. Des's hand settled on Julie's thigh, a light grip.

"Let's do that later. I've got a lot to get done here today."

"I'm sure that's true, but we were going to talk about these last weekend. Then during the week. Then Friday."

"No, you thought that."

Betty's expression cooled at Des's edgy tone, but her gaze didn't leave his face. Julie sat still as a stone, not sure where to look. "You want me to do this here, in front of her?" the nurse said.

"No. I think that was my whole point."

"Then you come find me to talk before the end of the day, or I'll find you wherever you are, and I don't care who overhears the conversation."

Des's eyes narrowed. "We've already talked about this."

"We talked about it on the last set of numbers," the nurse said with strained patience. "Not these."

"They don't matter. I'm done here." Des rose. "And I'm betting your lunch break is about done."

"Desmond." Betty's tone sharpened, the way Julie suspected it would when dealing with a recalcitrant patient.

"You're not my keeper," Des snapped.

Julie suspected Betty knew-as much as she did-her sharpness was the wrong tactic to deal with Des, but the nurse's frustration level seemed equal to his. Proving it now, she rose, meeting him toe to toe.

"Closest thing you've got to one," she retorted.

Their antagonistic stance left Julie on the far end of the bench, studying Des's back and a hint of his profile, and the exasperated expression on Betty's face. Having Latin family members, Julie was used to familial conflict that was far more unsettling to those watching than those partic.i.p.ating, but this wasn't a casual argument. It might be old, well-trampled ground, but something new had torn up the soil.

As if sensing what lay deeper than his anger, Betty softened, and touched his arm. "Des."

"Not here," he said, his jaw tight. "Okay? I'll look at it. Just...s.h.i.t. And don't talk to her about this, okay? She's not part of that. No need for her to be."

He said it without looking at Julie, and strode back toward the others, clearly having no desire to engage in further conversation with either woman.

"Stubborn jacka.s.s," Betty muttered, then noticed Julie's stricken look. She sighed and pinched her brow. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. We put you in the middle of that, something I'm sure neither I nor Des intended. I didn't handle that well. I forget sometimes that he's a man grown, and doing that in front of you..."

Julie agreed it might partly be male ego, but it was also something larger, something that made her uneasy.

Betty must have agreed, because she sat back down on the bench and faced her. "I'm a good judge of people, so I took you at your word. If you want to be in his life, his health is a very big part of it, and that's the problem. He refuses to accept that being in a relationship means letting someone share that with him. I'm sure if you've become closer to him than most women do, he's given you that message."

"Loud and clear," Julie said. Betty grimaced.

"Yeah. It's debris from his childhood, where every part of his life had to be about this. Even when he realizes he's being irrational about it, it still raises its ugly head. So you have a choice. You can be on the periphery, and he'll treat you like the most special woman on the planet. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful relationship and he'll leave you with many good memories when it runs its course. But if you're okay with that, he'll have no reason to let you inside him beyond it."

Julie thought of those quiet moments together, the raw need she'd seen in his eyes. Maybe she'd gone deeper than most. Was Betty testing her to protect Des? The nurse's frankness in a world overrun by HIPPA rules about medical privacy had startled Julie, but in a quick review of what Betty had just told her, she realized she'd given Julie no real specifics. Betty's information had to do with the man himself, the kind of thing a loving, interfering maternal family member would provide. Perhaps inappropriate, but for all the right reasons.

As if picking up on her thought process, Betty nodded. "You have a special vibe to you, different from what I've felt before from his women friends. If you want to get past the pretty and romantic parts, you're going to have to push, and push hard. It will get ugly. He's a good man, you're right about that. He's also a total pain in the a.s.s and a bully, sometimes a mean one, when it comes to protecting himself from certain things. Like reality."

She rose, picking up the folder, then hesitated. "Has he seemed okay lately? Not fatigued or eating less? Have you noticed him dropping out of sight when you normally expect to hear from him or see him?"

Julie felt a little twinge of alarm, thinking of the day she'd called him and expected he'd be on a job, only to find him sleeping in at the hotel. There'd been other days where he'd come home after work but hadn't invited her over, normally just evidence of a mature adult having a busy life. Yet when they were together, it was as if being apart ten minutes was too much to him.

"Well... He texts me regularly, and my work schedule is unbelievable, so I'm not sure I can make any conclusions on that." She shifted, glancing toward Des. He was pointedly ignoring their section of the park. He wouldn't be at all happy with this conversation.

"Betty, I'm not sure if I'm comfortable..."

Betty waved a dismissive hand, taking another deep breath. "Never mind. I'm sorry. Des and I... He's never had a girlfriend, Julie, and I'll be honest. I'll trample his privacy to figure out if he's taking care of himself. I was sort of the closest thing he's ever had to a parent, and that was nowhere near close enough. He tolerates me, and I love him."

"He loves you too. It's obvious." Julie couldn't hold onto her own distress in the face of the woman's obvious unhappiness. "I do want to be part of his life. It's just, we've only been together a short time. It's..."

"It's too soon for some pushy woman to be talking to you about something this serious. You're absolutely right." Betty gave her a determined smile and held out a hand. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Julie. I think you'll be good for him. If you keep coming over, I hope you and Des will join me for dinner one night. No shop talk between me and Des. I'd love to get to know you better."

"Likewise," Julie said sincerely.

Betty took her leave without another word, pushing the folder back in her shoulder bag and walking briskly toward the parking lot. But Julie noticed there was a stoop to her shoulders that made her look older. Whatever she'd wanted to discuss with Des was weighing her down.

Julie frowned. When she shifted her gaze, she caught Des watching her. A flash of regret crossed his features, but he turned back to the job they were doing.

She thought about just leaving, but she was made of sterner stuff than that. Even if he was avoiding her, she surmised he just needed a few minutes to shake off what had happened and regain his composure.

Accordingly, she took out her tablet and went over Harris's notes for the next thirty minutes. As she did, she kept a casual eye on what was happening with the playground and the kids. When they started planting the perennials, one of the adults waved her over. Apparently, they'd found out she was a friend of Des's and they asked her if she'd like to help. She was more than happy to do so, and put her tablet back in her car.

By the time the afternoon shadows grew long, she'd helped spread pine straw, edged the natural area with bricks, and contributed a satisfying amount to the shaping up of the park. The activities station and fort were completed by Des and his contractors. The treated wood would be painted by a different group of volunteers and next week another set of contractors would come out to resurface the basketball court. Des thanked his buddies as they headed off for their vehicles. The kids were enjoying the unpainted equipment, so when Julie returned to her bench with a free bottle of cold water and a turkey sandwich the neighbors had brought out, Des joined her.

The lapsed time since Betty's departure had erased some of the lingering hurt their argument had caused her, but he had a guarded look, as if he antic.i.p.ated her hashing it out. It made her feel a little more guarded herself. However, she pushed past the desire to withdraw, paste on a bright smile and make some excuse to head off. She'd told herself she wasn't going to measure Des any longer against her past relationships. She'd experienced the pain of emotionally unavailable men, but she reminded herself Des wasn't normally like that. She refused to shut down. Instead, she initiated conversation on neutral ground, trusting they'd figure out a way to address the other from there.

"Are you supposed to take your four kids home?" she asked.

"No, their parents are coming get them at six, so I'll hang here with them until then." He paused. "Do you have to go?"

There. He'd given her an out. She met his eyes. "Do you want me to go?"

"No," he said, so simple and straightforward it released the tension inside her. He curled his fingers around hers on her knee, tugging her hand over to his leg after he propped his ankle on the opposite thigh. Lifting her hand, he kissed her fingers. She closed her eyes, absorbing the clasp of his hand, the press of his lips.

"I was an a.s.shole. I'm sorry, Julie. That's why I really don't want you to be a part of that. It's not my best side."

"And here I was, thinking a relationship was all about people being on their best behavior all the time."

His lips twisted wryly. "You should at least be able to demand that for the first several weeks."

"That's considerate," she said, with kindness. "But I need to say something to you, all right? Will you hear it?"

"Of course." But his eyes were wary, and she sensed that same tension in him. She put her other hand over their two clasped ones, back on his knee.