Nature and Culture Part 5

When woman glides into her natural position,--that of a wife,--it is then only that she occupies her appropriate sphere, and exhibits in its most attractive form the loveliness of her character. Marriage is an inst.i.tution as essential to the stability and harmony of the social system as gravity is to the order and preservation of the planetary system. In the domestic circle the devoted wife becomes the centre of attraction, the "angel of the household." Her world is her home; her altar, the hearthstone. In her daily ministrations she makes herself angelic by making home a heaven, and every one happy who may come within the "charmed circle" of her kind cares and generous sympathies. In fact, there is no place like home, "sweet home," when on its sacred altar burns the blended incense of harmonious souls,--

"Two souls with but a single thought; Two hearts that beat as one."

It is certain that man and woman were never created to live independent of each other. They are but counterparts, and therefore incomplete until united in wedlock. Hence they who prefer single blessedness are justly chargeable with the "sin of omission," if not the "unpardonable sin." It is difficult to estimate the fearful responsibilities of those fossilized bachelors who persist in sewing on their own b.u.t.tons and in mending their own stockings. Yet these selfish gentlemen frankly admit that there may have been such a thing as "true love" in the olden times, but now, they say, the idea has become obsolete; and if a bachelor were to ask a young lady to share his lot, she would immediately want to know how large the "lot" is and what is its value. In further justification they quote Socrates, who, being asked whether it were better for a man to marry or live single, replied, "Let him do either and he will repent it." But this is not argument, nor is it always true, even in a sordid marriage, as appears in the following instance: Not long since, in New York, a bachelor of twenty-two married a rich maiden of fifty-five, who died within a month after the nuptials and left him a half-million of dollars. He says he has never "repented" the marriage.

The age in which we live is one of experiment and of novel theories, both in religion and in politics. In modern spiritualism we have entranced women, who give us reports from the dead. In modern crusades we have devout women, who visit tippling-houses and convert them into sanctuaries of prayer. In politics we have mismated and unmated women, who hold conventions, clamor for the ballot, and advocate the doctrine of "natural selection."

It is true that every marriageable woman has a natural right to select, if not elect, a husband; and this she may and ought to do, not by ballot, but by the influence of her charms and her virtues. If all marriageable men and women were but crystallized into happy families, earth would soon become a paradise. Yet if this were done, we doubt not there would still remain some "strong-minded" women, who would get up a convention to reform paradise. The truth is, the women will do pretty much as they please, and the best way is to let them.

Yet all must admit that a woman of refinement is not only a ruling spirit, but "a power behind the throne greater than the power on the throne." Her rights are therefore within her own grasp. Among these she has the right, and to her belongs the responsible duty, of educating her children in first principles, and in those sanctified lessons which have been revealed to man from heaven. It is the mother's precepts which const.i.tute the permanent foundation of the child's future character. Hence no woman is really competent to discharge the responsible duties of a mother as she ought, unless she has first been properly educated. There can be no object more deserving of commiseration, perhaps, than a mother who is surrounded by a family of young children, and yet is so ignorant as to be unable to instruct them in the rudiments of a common-school education and in the fundamental principles of a Christian life. The character of every child, it may be a.s.sumed, is essentially formed at seven years of age. The mother of Washington knew this, and felt it, and in the education of her son, taught him at an early age the leading truths of Christianity. She took the Bible for her guide, and taught him to take the Bible for his guide.

His subsequent career proves that he adhered to the instructions of his mother. When he came to pay her a visit, at the close of the war, after an absence of seven long years, she received him with the overflowing heart of a mother, as her dutiful son, and thought of him only as a dutiful son, never uttering a word in reference to the honors he had won as a military chieftain.

Soon after this, General Lafayette, wishing to make the acquaintance of the mother of Washington before returning to France, called at her residence in Virginia, and introduced himself. He found her at work in the garden, clad in a homespun dress, and her gray head covered with a plain straw hat. She saluted him kindly, and calmly remarked, "Ah, Marquis, you see an old woman; but come, I can make you welcome in my poor dwelling without the parade of changing my dress." In the course of conversation Lafayette complimented her as the mother of a son who had achieved the independence of his country, and acquired lasting honors for himself. The old lady, without the least manifestation of gratified pride, simply responded, "I am not surprised at what George has done, for he was always a very good boy." What a n.o.ble response, in its moral grandeur, was this! Certain it is that such a mother was worthy of such a son. A monument, plain, yet expressive in its design, has been erected at Fredericksburg to her memory. It bears this simple, yet sublime inscription:

"Mary, the Mother of Washington."

The extent of woman's moral power can only be limited by the extent of her capacities. In every circle, whether domestic, social, or political, the accomplished woman is a central power--_imperium in imperio_; and though she may not directly exercise the right of suffrage, yet her influence and her counsels, even an expression of her wish, enable her to control the political, as well as the social, destinies of men and of nations. It is in this way that she may "have her way." It was the accomplished wife of Mr. Monroe who made him President of the United States. She was the first to propose his name as a candidate. Her influence with members of Congress induced them to concur in advocating his election; he was elected. His administration, as we all know, was distinguished as "the era of good feeling."

The prevalent idea that women need less education than men is a gross error, worthy of heathendom perhaps, but entirely unworthy of Christendom. Let women be as generally and as liberally educated as men, and, my word for it, the question of woman's rights would soon settle itself. The right of women to be thus educated cannot be doubted, because it is a divine right, and because G.o.d has made woman the maternal teacher of mankind, and the chief corner-stone of the social fabric. Yet she should be educated with reference to her proper sphere as woman,--a sphere which is higher than that of man in the economy of Nature. Her capacities for industrial pursuits, such as are consistent with her physical abilities, should be developed so that she may be qualified to provide for herself, and to sustain herself in life's battle, if need be, without the aid of a "companion in arms."

Nevertheless, marriage is one of Heaven's irrevocable laws. It is, in fact, the great law of all animal-life, and even of plant-life. Nowhere in Nature is there a single instance in which this law is not obeyed, in due time, except in the case of mankind. Why is this? It certainly would not be so if it were not for some grand defect in our social system,--some false notions acquired by education, which are peculiar to our civilization, and which induce apostasy to truth and natural justice. Man was created to be the protector of woman, and woman to be the helpmeet of man. Each therefore has an appropriate sphere; and the obligations of each are mutual, growing out of their mutual interest and dependence. The sphere of the one is just as important as the sphere of the other. Neither can live, nor ought to live, without the aid, the love, and the sympathy of the other. Whether so disposed or not, neither can commit an infraction of the other's rights, without violating a law of Nature.

Whatever may be the evils of our present social or political system, it is evident that the right of suffrage, if extended to woman, could not afford a remedy, but on the contrary, would tend to weaken, rather than strengthen, mutual interests, by creating unwomanly aspirations and domestic dissensions, thus sundering the ties of love and affection which naturally exist between the s.e.xes. In a word, it would be opening Pandora's box, and letting escape the imps of social and political discord, and finally result in universal misrule, if not in positive anarchy.

Modesty and delicacy are the crowning characteristics of a true woman.

She naturally shrinks from the storms of political strife. Give her the right of suffrage,--a boon no sensible woman desires; place her in office, in the halls of legislation, in the Presidential chair; enrobe her with the judicial ermine, or make her the executive officer of a criminal tribunal,--and how could she a.s.sume the tender relations of a mother, and at the same time officiate in any of these high places of public trust, in which the sternest and most inflexible duties are often required to be performed?

It is not possible, however, that the erratic comets, whose trailing light occasionally flashes athwart our political sky, will ever acquire sufficient momentum to jostle the "fixed stars" out of place, because there is a fixed law of Nature which preserves them in place. There is also a law of Nature which makes man not only the protector, but the worshipper, of woman,--a worship which is as instinctively paid as reciprocated, and which is by no means inconsistent with the worship of G.o.d, but in truth is a part of it. It is this kind of worship--this natural and holy impulse of the heart--which const.i.tutes the basis of man's rights and of woman's rights, and should harmonize all their relations in life.

We see the instinctive exhibition of man's reverence for women almost every day of our lives, and often in a way that proves how ridiculous are modern theories in regard to woman's rights, when brought to the test in practical life. Not long since, in one of our cities where a woman's rights convention was in session, a strong-minded female delegate entered a street railway car, when an old gentleman arose to give her his seat, but at that moment, suspecting her to be a delegate, asked, "Be you one of these women's righters?"--"I am." "You believe a woman should have all the rights of a man?"--"Yes, I do." "Then stand up and enjoy them like a man." And stand up she did,--the old gentleman coolly resuming his seat, to the great amus.e.m.e.nt of the other pa.s.sengers.

Whatever maybe the pretensions of agitators, it is certain that no woman of refined culture, or of proper self-respect, will attempt to step outside of her appropriate sphere. This she cannot do if she would, without doing violence to the sensibilities of her nature. When true to herself, woman, like the lily-of-the-valley, prefers the valley, where she can display her native loveliness in comparative retirement, secure from the inclemencies of a frowning sky; while man, born with a more rugged nature, prefers, like the st.u.r.dy oak, to climb the hills and the mountains, where he delights to breast the a.s.saults of storm and tempest, and to fling the shadow of his stately form over the valley, as if to protect the ethereal beauty of the lily from the too ardent gaze of the sun. And, though a solitary flower may sometimes be seen climbing the mountain height, it is only the modest lily-of-the-valley--the true woman--whose cheering smile man aspires to share, and whose purity of character calls into exercise his reverent admiration.

"Honored be woman! she beams on the sight, Graceful and fair as an angel of light; Scatters around her, wherever she strays, Hoses of bliss on our thorn-covered ways; Roses of paradise, sent from above, To be gathered and twined in a garland of love!"

AIM HIGH.

In addressing you as a graduating cla.s.s, permit me to suggest for your consideration a few thoughts on the importance of regarding self-culture not only as a duty, but as the only means of elevating and enn.o.bling your aspirations in life.

Though you have completed your academical course with a degree of success which does you credit, you should remember that the great work of education still lies before you, and that the formation of your characters and the shaping of your destinies are committed to your own hands. And here let me a.s.sure you that it is little rather than great things which mark the character of a true gentleman. In fact, there is but one way in which a refined education can be acquired, and that is, "little by little."

It is thus from day to day, from year to year, from everybody, and from everything, that you may learn, if you will, something new, something useful; and though you care not to do it, yet you will, in spite of yourselves, learn something, good or evil, just as you may choose to apply it.

You certainly have the power to choose between good and evil,--in other words, to achieve the loftiest aims. Yet in directing your aspirations, you must adapt means to ends; collect your materials and refine them, and in refining them give them the brilliancy of costly jewels,--jewels which you can wear with becoming grace and dignity wherever you may go, and at all times and under all circ.u.mstances.

The acquisition of a mere book-knowledge, however desirable, will avail you but little, unless you acquire at the same time correct habits and principles, united with refinement of manners. The world will be likely to take your personal appearance, your style of dress and address, as the true index of your character, and whether deceived at first view or not, will finally estimate you at your true value. In perfecting your education, it is not to be expected that you are to master every branch of human learning, but rather that you are to make your life a life of thought, of study, of observation, of strife to excel in all that is good, and in doing good.

In attempting to achieve great things in the world, you must not overlook little things,--little attentions, little civilities due to others with whom you may come in contact; for your claims to consideration will be estimated by the character of your conduct in social life. There are certain conventionalities recognized in good society which you must respect, and to which you must conform, if you would be well received. Your manners and habits are therefore of vital importance as elements of character.

It has been truly said that man is a "bundle of habits." It may be said with equal truth that our own worst enemies are "bad habits." We all know that bad habits fasten themselves upon us, as it were, by stealth; and though we may not perceive the influence which they exert over us, yet other persons perceive it, remark it, and judge us accordingly. The formation of correct habits in early life is comparatively easy, while the correction of bad habits, when once formed, is always difficult, especially in more advanced years. In a word, if you would become model characters, you must discard all bad habits, all odd habits, all that is ungracious or ungraceful in word, deed, or manner, and make it the leading rule of your life to observe the proprieties of life in all places and under all circ.u.mstances. In order to achieve all this, it is indispensable that you should study yourselves, watch yourselves, criticise yourselves, and know yourselves as others know you. The value of self-examination has been forcibly as well as beautifully expressed in a single stanza by Robert Burns,--

"O wad some power the giftie gie us To see oursel's as ithers see us!

It wad frae monie a blunder free us, An' foolish notion: What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us, An' ev'n devotion!"

It is true that in relation to the laws of etiquette many books have been written, which are in fact more read than observed, and which are more perplexing than practical. No lady or gentleman was ever made truly polite, truly agreeable, truly amiable, by a strict observance of artificial rules. Something more is needed; something must be done. It is in the heart, in the exercise of all the moral and Christian virtues, that true politeness has its foundation. True politeness is never selfish, never ostentatious, but always overflowing with kindness, always angelic in its attributes. In word and deed, it is always considerate, delicate, and graceful; yet in its ministrations it always preserves its own self-respect, while it manifests its sincere respect for all that is good and for all that is meritorious.

Heaven has imposed on us the duty of acquiring all the knowledge we can.

In discharge of this heaven-born duty, we should begin at once the great work of self-culture,--a work never to be discontinued. He who would build a s.p.a.cious and a lofty temple, a fit dwelling-place for divinity, must first lay the foundations broad and deep,--not in sand, but on a rock; and then, though storm and tempest beat against it, it cannot fall, because it is founded on a rock.

But in adopting a system of self-culture, too much care cannot be bestowed on the cultivation of your manners, your att.i.tudes, your style of conversation, and your expression of sentiment. In regard to manners, it is impossible to prescribe exact rules. The best models for you to copy are to be found in the manners of the model men and women of our country who give tone to society. At any rate, be governed by good sense and by the dictates of nature, so modified by art as to conceal art. To disguise art is the perfection of art. In this lies the secret power of angelic charms,--the charm of polished womanhood and manhood.

In your social intercourse employ a pure and unambitious style of diction, and be careful to maintain a quiet and un.o.btrusive deportment; and above all things avoid singularities and eccentricities, nor attempt to attract attention for the sake of gratifying an overweening vanity.

And while you manifest a due respect for others, be careful to maintain your own self-respect. Never indulge in exhibiting violence of temper; but on all occasions control your feelings and expressions, though provocations arise which justly excite your indignation.

If you would attain to the highest possible standard of social refinement and moral virtue, you must rely on yourselves, must look into the mirror of your own hearts and behold your own defects, and then proceed at once to apply the appropriate remedies. To do this effectively may cost you much labor, yet the task will be found comparatively easy when you have resolved to execute it.

It is not only your privilege, but your duty, to acquire knowledge from every source, as the bee gathers honey from every flower. Collect and compare facts; for in every fact, whether great or small, there lies hid a lesson of wisdom,--a logic which is not only irresistible, but divine.

Theories are of but little value unless attested by facts. All mere theories are alike worthless, whether they relate to the physical or moral world. "Prove all things, and hold fast that which is good." No better rule than this, for your guidance through life, ever was or ever can be given. Facts, though "stubborn things," are never falsehoods. You may therefore regard facts as truth, as the kind of mental food you should acquire, digest, and convert into nutriment, and thus grow strong and wise, until you have realized the great fact that "man was created but a little lower than the angels."

For the purpose of self-culture, in its highest sense, an ordinary lifetime seems quite too short, though prolonged to threescore years and ten. The value of time cannot be overestimated. If we would but consider how many precious moments we fritter away and lose in an unprofitable manner, we should see that it is the want of a due regard for the value of time, rather than a want of time, of which we should complain. It is not, therefore, the fault of a Divine Providence that we have not time enough to perfect ourselves in the arts of a refined civilization, and in the realization of the highest enjoyment of which our nature is capable. Whatever else you may lose, never lose a moment of time which can be profitably employed. A moment of time once lost can never be regained. Insignificant as a moment may seem, your destiny may depend on the improvement you may make of it, on the deed or thought it may prompt. Life, though long, is made up of moments, and terminates in a moment; and all true knowledge is founded in truth.

If you would prolong your lives, and enjoy health and happiness accompanied with vigor of mind, study the laws of health and obey them.

Make yourselves thoroughly acquainted with yourselves, by becoming acquainted with the physiology of the human system, and by living in compliance with the requisitions of its principles. Nature is the best physician you can employ, whatever may be your malady; but in order to be healed by her prescriptions, you must apply to her in time, and adopt the uniform and temperate habits of life which her laws require.

It is said that Nature has her favorites. This may be true. It would seem that some persons are born poets, some philosophers, some fiddlers, some one thing, and some another. It may be said that such persons are specialists, born to accomplish a special purpose. They doubtless subserve the interests of mankind as models, or standards of merit, in their respective specialties; yet to be born a genius is not in itself a matter of merit, but it is the good one does in the world which creates merit and crowns life with honors.

Nearly all of our truly great men are men of self-culture, who have acquired brains by the slow process of a lifelong industry in the pursuit of knowledge. This cla.s.s of men are not only much more numerous than born geniuses, but much more useful. They have a wider range of intellect and wield a wider influence. They are men who read, think, and digest what they read. In their choice of books they select standard authors. They are not book-worms, devouring everything that is published; nor are they literary dyspeptics, who feed on sentimentalism and French cookery, but hale, hearty men, who prefer common-sense and roast beef,--caring more for the quality of their food than for the quant.i.ty.

The world in which we live is a beautiful world. He who made it p.r.o.nounced it good, and designed it for the residence of the good. It is in itself a paradise for all who choose to make it a paradise. In a physical sense, it is not only a beautiful world, but a great storehouse full of knowledge, full of wisdom, full of facts,--a record of the past and of the future, written by a divine hand. In short, it is the great Book of Life--of Revelation--in every word of which we may find an outspoken thought,--

"Tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, Sermons in stones, and good in everything."

In estimating your life-work, you should feel that yours is a high destiny, and that much is expected of you. If you would succeed in the world, you must have faith in yourselves as well as in a Divine Providence, and act upon the principle that "G.o.d helps those who help themselves." Wherever you go, make yourselves as acceptable and as agreeable to all with whom you come in contact as possible. If you would be preferred, prefer others; and if you would be beloved, scatter flowers by the wayside of life, but never plant thorns, and in all you do and say, unite modesty with simplicity and sincerity.

There can be no true manhood or womanhood that does not rest on character, in the highest sense of the term. In fact, it is the character we bear that defines our social position. The formation of character is a work of our own, and requires the exercise of all the better and higher powers of our nature. On character depends not only our usefulness in life, but our individual happiness. Character is the engraved mark, or sign, by which every individual is known, and indicates the essential traits of his moral composition, the qualities of his head and heart, as displayed in his aspirations and in the work of his life. Character is more enduring than reputation. G.o.d respects character; man respects reputation. The one is as lasting as eternity; the other as evanescent as the bubble that glitters in the sunshine for a moment, and then disappears forever.