My new life, won't you please become peaceful! Chapter 21

“You dare propose to me…don’t you want to die with your corpse still intact?”

The Prince’s gonna explode soon.

I understand Salsaal, you’ve got high hopes that someone who would run away with you must be at least more good-looking than Nigel but now you’ve got this burly guy who’s taller and more masculine than you…it’s fine, I understand your anguish.

But he’s a young bubbly girl inside you know!!

Even though she may be a fujoshi…

“I’m proposing to you with love from the bottom of my heart”, he’s gone back to acting manly, Calis turned to the right person and kneeled, “Please marry me…”.

“No way in h.e.l.l!!”

“Why?”, Calis looked hurt, “I think…Calis Merlin’s features aren’t half bad, right? Although I’m blind now and I haven’t seen my appearance in a while but from what I can recall, Calis Merlin has beautiful features and a delicate figure…or is it that Salsaal doesn’t like pretty ukes*…”.

He mumbled the last sentence to himself.

The corner’s Salsaal’s mouth twitched while I flinched…beautiful features and a delicate figure, that’s it, he looks like that in the anime but…the Calis Merlin right now is a burly guy with an unkempt appearance…

Has he been living the survival life on a deserted island to make him change this much in such a short span of time.

“Ahem, umm…what you’ve said kinda contradicts the reality, Calis.”, I glanced at the image of the person who was supposed to be a ‘beautiful uke’ and coughed once more, “The you right now is a bit too tall…”

His waist could rival that of a body builder’s!

But it seemed like Calis didn’t understand what I said, “Can you please at least tell me your type…when I’m more powerful, I’ll undergo plastic sur…I meant, I’ll change my features with magic accordingly to your type and I’ll propose to you again.”.

He’s got determination…oh can you feel that? My house is gonna get swallowed up by dark auras emitted from Salsaal soon! So that I won’t become homeless because of the Prince’s love problems, I tried my best to coax Calis into giving up, “I think…its best to give up and get over it as soon as possible!”.

Oomph, I don’t want to destroy the dreams of a fujoshi who’s a fellow comrade to my lil’ sis.

“Salsaal, just accept Calis! Although he’s not pretty, he’s super powerful! Since you’ve traded your physical powers, you might be scared that you’re weak and will be pressed cough! It’s good once in a while to be the bottom but trust me, you’ll be way taller than him in the future, when that time comes you’ll can be the one doing the pressing instead!”

Ghost Salsaal started shaking and his eyes became redder. “Get rid of him…before I kill him and you, Gilbert Bedivere…”.

But she’s not my younger sister, she’s just a fujoshi! Don’t become weak-hearted just because they are alike! Your sister’s the only one unique person in the world ok?!

“Get over it Calis, there’s no way Salsaal will accept your love!”

“You…no matter what you really won’t marry me?”, Calis’s countenance was filled with sorrow, like an abandoned puppy, “I love you, that’s the truth. I’ll even become your slave! We can draw the contract up right now…”

Hey, hey, wait! I know you love him a lot but don’t forget to think about consequences.

“I don’t want your s.h.i.tty offer!!”, Salsaal looked ay him in disdain and floated towards me, “Bedivere, get rid of it…or else I’ll curse you and make him think you’re me…after that, huh…when you get married, there’s no need to send me an invitation card”.

…Wicked, our two years long relationship is even worse than that of a stranger!But since I did not want a husband nor a wife, I turned to Calis who was scrambling to find a paper  so he can draw up a contract and make himself Salsaal’s slave. I told Salsaal to go away, he did not hesitate at all and flew away…great…because what I’m going to say after this may make him want to murder me.

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“Calis, you should give up! There’s no way Salsaal will accept your love!”

“Why? O-Or is there a girl who likes him…”, Calis looked up before looking down again and mumbled to himself in a murderous voice, “Who the f.u.c.k is she…the only person who can be with Salsaal is either Ca.s.s or me…”.

Are you a clone of my psychotic fujoshi lil’ sis? If you changed Salsaal to Haref then I would think that Calis is definitely my lil’ sis!

“Naturally, there’s no one and not even Ca.s.s!”, there’s no way I’ll let my totally adorbs tsundere lil’ bro go out with someone as despicable as Salsaal, this big bro doesn’t approve of him!

“Then why…”

“Actually, Salsaal has an unrequited love for Haref.”

“What?!”

I’m sorry Haref! Fujoshis don’t like it when the character they like gets paired up with a girl but if it’s with another guy…the only person who can guard themselves from Salsaal could only be Haref – someone who’s got the counter opposite power.

“I swear on the time I’ve spent with him…”, not really, “Salsaal’s always been secretly interested in Haref”.

“What?!!”

“For Salsaal who’s been in the dark for a long time, Haref who’s a personification of light would naturally make him able to see things clearly. It might be because they were built as counter opposites which was why they seem like enemies, but if you look closer, why is it that when Haref shows up Salsaal has an unfathomable expression, why is it that every time Haref shows up, Salsaal looks at him before he looks at anyone else, no matter how many people there may be, be it hundreds or thousands, the person he notices first will always be Haref…”

“O-O-O”, Calis pat his cheeks.

Obviously, it’s because they’ve got counter opposite powers, Salsaal often told him that every time he gets close to Haref he feels nauseous because of Haref’s light powers, which was why he would glance at him accidentally cause he has an urge to punch him…

“You’ve seen the anime right? Don’t you ever think that although they’re enemies, when they fight, they’re able to block each other’s attacks and support one another well?! If they weren’t feeling anything, if their hearts weren’t beating to the same beat then would fighting against each other create such an effect!!”.

“W-W-W-W…”

Obviously, yes. It’s simply because the animators drew it this way but if it was actually in this world, they’ll probably be stabbing and burying one another in a grave just for the lols…

“Both of them have always been in love with each other! But it was because they are still immature, because they are Arthur and Lancelot, because they are darkness and light! Fate has destined them to forever be rivals, enemies, but fate also intends them to be…lovers.”

“Ye-Ye-Yes!!”, Calis covered his face with his hands, “This is real…this is too real to be true”.

“That’s why he was unable to accept your love. All along, Haref only existed in Salsaal’s heart…”, I sighed and closed my eyes. It’s actually fun and I’d like to write some more on this story, “…there’s only been Haref…even I, who’s closest to him is unable to go in between…”.

“Scream…oops”, Calis covered his mouth.

“Do you know, every since we’ve know each other, he’s been wanting to meet Haref…”, I pretended to close my eyes, “but because Haref is a Lancelot, he couldn’t appear in front of him or else he’d be killed. This lead to him coming to find me, he wanted me to help him…”

I love adding worth to myself.

“He came to me everyday, he talked to me, he was with me but his mind rested on someone else…I…I became upset and sad but yeah, that’s another story, I love him but I want to support him so he can become happy! I want him to end up with Haref! Calis, do you understand this?!”

“Ye-Ye-Yes, I completely understand you!”, Calis was wide-eyed, his face was red as if he was trying to hold something back. He covered his mouth and nose, “Haref x Salsaal? No, it has to be Salsaal x Haref!! Scr-Scr-Scream…oops!!”.

“We’ll help support SalsaalHaref right?”

Calis nodded, I could see blood seeping through from his hands which covered his nose.

“Honestly speaking, I was from the same world as you in my last life…but I knew this from when I was born”,  I smiled at Calis who was wide-eyes in shock, “I knew about this game because my younger sister is a fujoshi, she draws doujinshi** and I’m basically her helper, so…ahem! I can draw…”.

Calis nodded rapidly.

“In the future let’s make a Salsaal x Haref dounjinshi! Let’s support their love in secret! We’ll quietly sell them in bookstores and make known the power of true love only known by Salsaal and Haref!!”.

“Agreed!!”

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The next day, Salsaal came to me…

“Good morning, Sir Salsaal…”, Calis greeted him with a smile and walked the other way obediently, this made Salsaal raise his eyebrow in surprise.

“Hm? So you could actually keep him on a leash?”, his ruby coloured eyes were filled with disbelief, “At first, I thought I’ll just leave you there and he can molest you until he calms down then I’ll come back and talk to him again…but, um…it’s good you’re able to keep him under control.”.

I’ve never seen such a despicable b.a.s.t.a.r.d.

But, I won’t curse him behind his back anymore. I smiled mischievously and hid a book under the desk. The book’s written in Thai so even if someone were to discover it, they wouldn’t be able to read any of it. It’s a mini fan-fiction which Calis and I brainstormed together and came up with a plot, this will be used for an upcoming doujinshi. As for its t.i.tle…

Secrets in a bathtub ( darkness and light 1 )

Pairing: Salsaal x Haref

Rate: 18+

Writer & Ill.u.s.trator: KuroImouto

Be disgraced! I’ll defile your name you good looking person! I’ll drag you down from the t.i.tle of Mr number one in popularity. Mwahahahahahhaha!!

[Tea time behind the curtain -talking about ships-]

Psychotic fujoshi lil’ sis: “Why does it have to be SalsaalHaref?”

Gilbert: “Because Salsaal’s taller, older and has a higher status!”

Calis: “More handsome, more manly, more s.a.d.i.s.tic!”

Psychotic fujoshi lil’ sis: “Amateurs! Height isn’t a factor when you’re lying down! Naturally, some poses don’t require you to be a specific age…

Gilbert: “Lil’ sis…how do you any of this. Are there any books which I don’t know of in your room.”

Psychotic fujoshi lil’ sis: “…”

Psychotic fujoshi lil’ sis: “…I’m sorry…”