Murder Is A Piece Of Cake Part 2

A coffee-skinned officer whose name tag said PHILLIPS herded a chunky woman in cargo pants and a khaki shirt toward an exam room.

Where did she come from? Josie wondered.

"You can't do this! Do you know who I am? I'm Rona Richley, Channel Seven producer." Rona had a honking New York accent. "I won't talk to the police without our station lawyer. I'm calling him right now." She held up a black iPhone.

"That's your right, ma'am," the officer said. "But you don't need a lawyer. You're not being taken into custody."

The TV producer was speed-dialing as Officer Phillips shut the exam room door on her.

The officer then came back for Lenore, trying to steer her by the elbow toward another empty exam room. Ted's mother shook off his hand and walked coolly into the room, shoulders back and head high, as if this was precisely what she wanted.

The bride was not corralled as easily. She backed against the wall like a cornered animal. "I'm the victim," Molly said, her voice heavy with tears. "Why are you locking me up?"

"We aren't locking you up. We want to hear your side in private," Officer Phillips said.

"Can I take Bella?" the bride asked. "My little girl?"

"You got a kid here, too?" the cop asked.

"Bella is my Maltese," Molly said, petting the white fluff ball in her arms. Bella licked the bride's hand with a pink tongue.

"Can't see where a girlie dog would be a problem," the officer said. "Does she bite?"

"Of course not," Molly said.

Does, too, Josie thought, making a mental note to tell the police that Bella bit Marmalade and started the chain reaction that ended with Molly's b.l.o.o.d.y bridal gown.

The cop's question triggered a fresh outbreak of weeping. Officer Phillips handed Molly a tissue from the counter and she blotted her tear-swollen eyes.

"My mascara is running," Molly said, sniffling. "I paid two hundred dollars for bridal makeup. The makeup artist promised it was waterproof and now it's smeared."

"Yes, ma'am," the officer said, his voice neutral.

She really believes she's going to marry Ted, Josie thought. That can't be.

Then a thought slammed Josie so hard, she staggered backward. What if Ted really was marrying Molly? Josie had read about bigamists on the Internet. Some men had two or three families stashed in different cities and their other wives never suspected.

Josie knew Ted was too perfect to be real. She couldn't believe her good luck when he'd proposed. She still expected their wedding plans to fall apart before the minister p.r.o.nounced them man and wife.

No, I'm the crazy one, Josie decided. Ted is no bigamist. Why would he schedule a TV interview the morning he was marrying Molly-and ask me to be here? Bigamists don't invite a TV station and their other fiancee as witnesses.

This is just bridal jitters, Josie decided. No wonder, after this nerve-racking morning. Molly really seemed to believe she was Ted's fiancee. Where did she get that idea? Did Ted accidentally encourage her? She watched Molly maneuver her full skirt across the crowded surgery. A flounce trailed on the floor, sweeping dog hair along with it.

"Watch that table," Officer Phillips said. "Can you get your dress through the exam room door? There. You're fine. The officer will be in to see you shortly."

Josie could hear Officer Edelson still arguing with the cameraman-no, the photographer. That was what Bill Madfis called himself. "Look, dude. I can't give you the tape unless the station agrees," he said. "You can put me in jail, but before I hand it over, I gotta get clearance from the station. From the way my producer is carrying on in that room, I think you'll be hearing from them shortly."

Josie saw the producer standing at the window of her exam room door, shouting into an iPhone and waving her other hand wildly. Rona Richley's dark frizzy hair had escaped its clip and tumbled down her back.

"Ma'am, we'd like you in the next room," Officer Phillips told Josie. He escorted her into a blue-tiled exam room that smelled of disinfectant and dog hair.

Josie dropped her purse and hat on the exam table next to a plastic model of a dog pelvis and plopped down in the blue client chair. She leaned her head wearily against the wall and heard a low-pitched whine coming from next door. Was Molly's dog hurt?

No, wait. That was Molly crying. The walls were so thin, Josie could hear her in the next room. Molly's door opened, and Officer Edelson greeted the bride. Josie caught bits of their m.u.f.fled conversation. Molly's higher voice carried better than the police officer's deep rumble.

"My name is Molly Ann Deaver," she said. "My dog is Bella Deaver. Her full name is Bella's Snow Fantasia. She's a purebred Maltese. I don't know why my fiance is behaving like this. You have to believe me."

"Why would he say he was marrying another woman, ma'am?" Edelson asked. At least, that was what Josie thought the officer said. She pressed her ear harder against the wall.

"I don't know. I saw that other woman when she came to Denise's Dreams, the shop where I work. She said she was marrying a vet named Ted, but there are other local veterinarians with that name. I never dreamed she was talking about my Ted. There's something wrong with that poor woman."

What? Josie was shaking with anger. Molly thinks there's something wrong with me?

"Ted loves me," Molly said. "He wants to marry me."

Another low sound, like distant thunder, from the officer.

"No, I've never met his mother. How do I even know she is his mother? She pulled a gun on me. What kind of mother-in-law does that?" Molly's voice grew shriller.

"I-I did put that knife thingie to Ted's throat, but I was upset when he said we weren't getting married today. We're definitely engaged. See, here's my engagement ring. It's a two-carat round-cut rose-gold ring. I bought it at Forever Diamonds in the Galleria."

A short mumbled question.

"Yes, I bought it myself." Molly said. "And paid for it, too. He's a struggling doctor and I have money. I wanted the right engagement ring. My wedding day is the most important day of my life."

Another ba.s.s rumble from the officer.

"Of course I can wait here a little longer," Molly said. "This is just a misunderstanding. I'll wait here as long as you want. After all, Ted and I will be married forever."

Chapter 3.

Tuesday, October 23 "My son is not marrying that demented woman, Officer," Lenore said. "She's not fit to be a doctor's wife."

Josie didn't need to press her ear to the wall to hear Ted's mother. Lenore's imperious voice sliced through the thin exam room walls.

"I don't know that . . . that . . ." Words failed the well-bred Lenore-polite words, anyway. "That creature wearing that ridiculous dress. I thought she was dressed for Halloween. I've never seen her before. Ted's never mentioned her. He's marrying Josie Marcus, the girl in the hat."

Josie couldn't hear Officer Edelson's next question, but she didn't have to. Lenore's answer was enough.

"No, he didn't discuss his engagement to Miss Marcus with me," she said. "I had no say so in the matter. I introduced him to a number of suitable young women, but he's ignored my efforts."

Ouch, Josie thought. I don't think I'll be calling Lenore "Mom."

"But Miss Marcus is a thousand times better than that escapee from a lunatic asylum," Lenore said. "Even if she does have a child out of wedlock."

Did she call Amelia "a child out of wedlock"? Hot anger blasted through Josie. n.o.body disparaged her daughter. n.o.body. Josie gripped the door handle, prepared to march on Lenore, when she saw Officer Phillips was planted in her path. No way she'd get past that wall of mahogany muscle.

Josie sat back down. She'd discuss Lenore's att.i.tude toward Amelia later, in private. Ted didn't need two crazy brides in one day.

Officer Edelson must have asked Lenore another question. Josie caught the phrase "brandished a weapon" in his deep rumble.

"I do carry a pistol," Lenore said. "It's a small thirty-eight. I'm licensed for concealed carry and I practice at the gun range every week."

Another rumble. Josie strained her ears so hard, they practically flapped, but she couldn't hear the officer's question.

But Lenore's outrage was loud and clear. "What! You believe there's an incompatibility with the Florida and Missouri concealed carry laws? I am in a building owned by my son and I was protecting both of us from a knife attack. That's why I carry a gun-for protection. It's my const.i.tutional right."

The rumble was deeper and darker this time, a subterranean earthquake.

"Of course I didn't carry it on the plane in my purse," Lenore said. "I don't fly commercial. I came on my husband's plane, and brought my weapon with me. Good thing I had it, too. If I'd waited for you to respond, that lunatic would have cut Ted's throat. And I didn't threaten that so-called bride. I saved her from a murder charge. I hope you're locking her up for a.s.sault."

A soft rumble was cut short by Lenore's clipped response. "What? Only if my son presses charges? Of course he will. And if he doesn't, I will."

The rumble sounded more tentative now.

"No, I wasn't hurt," Lenore said. "But I could have been. Really! If Ted doesn't press charges, you can Baker Act her. You do know what that is, don't you?"

Another short rumble.

"Missouri doesn't have a Baker Act?" Lenore said. "Even this backwater must have a law so people who are a danger to themselves and others can be committed, whatever you call it. And that young woman qualifies as both! How long are you going to detain us? We'll miss our luncheon reservation."

The next rumble sounded apologetic. Josie heard the exam room door close softly. When Officer Edelson knocked on Josie's door, she felt absurdly relieved, like a patient waiting for a doctor.

Edelson looked like a schoolboy who'd escaped expulsion with a stern lecture. Even his buzz cut seemed wilted. Josie was tempted to commiserate but decided he wouldn't want to be reminded he'd been tongue-lashed by a sixty-two-year-old woman.

Josie offered him her chair. "I prefer to stand, ma'am," Edelson said. "State your name and address."

She told him, then added, "I'm engaged to Dr. Ted Scottsmeyer. Really engaged. He proposed to me in Tower Grove Park."

For a moment, she remembered the sunlit splendor of that fall day and her sheer happiness. Then she was back in the clinic exam room, staring at a plastic dog pelvis and wondering if Molly's bizarre intrusion would wreck her future with Ted.

"Do you work here at the clinic?" Edelson asked.

"No, I'm a mystery shopper for Suttin Services, but I wasn't working today. That's how I met Molly Deaver. I mystery-shopped the store where she works. I gave her a good rating, too. She's a good salesperson. She told me she was marrying a man named Ted. I had no idea she meant my fiance. She must have something wrong with her."

Two can play that game, Josie thought.

"I came here to watch Ted's TV taping," she said. "Then Ted and I planned to have lunch with my future mother-in-law."

An hour ago, Josie had dreaded that lunch. Now she longed to be sitting at the table with Lenore.

"I got here just as that bride arrived in a Bentley," Josie said. "It was surreal. She marched right inside with a huge bouquet and her dog in a basket. Kathy, the receptionist, tried to keep Molly out of the back room where Channel Seven was taping, but she forced her way in and made a scene.

"And her dog bites, too," Josie said. "She bit Ted's cat, Marmalade."

"Does the cat need medical attention, ma'am?" Officer Edelson asked.

"I don't know," Josie said. "Marmalade jumped off the exam table when you arrived."

She glanced through the exam room window. "That's Marmalade, the orange cat under the table, curled up with the black Lab, Festus. The dog is also Ted's. The cat is licking the Lab's ear. That's so cute."

"Ma'am," the officer said. He was losing patience.

"The cat seems fine," Josie said. "But Ted is definitely wounded. His so-called bride cut him, and his neck is bleeding. She said, *Drop his hand or I'll cut his throat.' Before I could do anything, she sliced him. She's seriously disturbed."

"Did Ted ever mention Molly Ann Deaver to you?"

"No. Never," Josie said, then wondered why Ted hadn't.

"Look, Officer. There's no way Ted's going to marry that woman, today or any other day," Josie said. "I can prove Ted is marrying me. I have a wedding plan notebook with all our information."

"So does the other bride," Officer Edelson said, and was gone before she could answer.

Josie heard the door open in the exam room where Ted waited. At first, Josie could hear every word her fiance said. Then she wished she didn't.

"No, don't call the paramedics," Ted said. "I know Josie and my mother are upset, but women make a big deal out of a little scratch. I've had worse cuts shaving."

The two men gave a "we guys" chuckle and Josie silently seethed. They were laughing at her expense.

"How long has Miss Deaver been your patient?" Edelson asked.

"Her Maltese, Bella, has been my patient for six months," Ted said. "I met Miss Deaver when I spayed Bella here at the clinic. I made two follow-up visits in the clinic van to her home and the dog was fine.

"But Miss Deaver kept asking me to treat her dog for minor ailments at her home. She said Bella had a limp. I checked the dog and there was no problem. Miss Deaver insisted, so I referred her to a veterinary orthopedic specialist."

"They have those for dogs?" the officer asked in a surprised tone.

"And cats. Veterinary medicine is very advanced," Ted said. "They have ultrasound, reconstructive surgery, CT scans, even neurosurgery."

"Yes, well. About this dog of hers," Edelson prompted.

"Bella," Ted said. "The ortho doc said Bella was healthy and Miss Deaver complained to me about the specialist's bills. She'd spent more than two thousand dollars on Bella's nonexistent limp."

The police officer whistled.

"Good veterinary care isn't cheap," Ted said. "Bella was home from the referral clinic two days when Miss Deaver said her Maltese had an upset stomach. I went to her home in the clinic van, but the dog seemed fine. She claimed her dog was vomiting, but said she'd cleaned it up.

"Next, Miss Deaver said Bella was scratching her ear and it was infected. I found no evidence of irritation or soreness on either ear. I took blood for tests, and the results were normal."

Josie noticed he called her Miss Deaver, not Molly. Was he trying to show the police officer she meant nothing to him?