Murder Is A Piece Of Cake Part 14

"He nearly cost you your country club membership after he put itching powder on the men's locker room toilet seats."

"Whit made a generous donation to the expansion fund and it was forgotten," Lenore said.

"He's thirty, Mom, and acts like he's fifteen," Ted said. "One of these days he's going to hurt someone."

Lenore fixed her son with a look.

Uh-oh, Josie thought. He's going to cave.

"Ted, I don't ask for much, but I'm begging you to include your brother in your wedding. Please."

"What if he pulls one of his stupid tricks?" Ted asked.

"I'll speak to him," Lenore said. "I'll cut off his allowance if he misbehaves."

"It's up to Josie," Ted said.

Wait a minute, Josie thought wildly. How'd I get in the middle? She looked for an escape, then realized she was trapped-in a jail.

"Uh-" Josie stalled for time.

"Then it's all settled," Lenore said. "Richard will make an excellent best man."

"What! No freakin' way," Ted said. "I already have someone. My clinic partner, Christine, will stand up for me."

"But she can't be your best man," Lenore said. "She's a woman."

"d.i.c.k doesn't act like a man," Ted said. "And I can't uninvite her."

"Male attendants for the groom are so old-school," Josie added.

That did it. Lenore had to be cutting-edge. "Then Richard can escort Whatchamacallit. Josie's-"

Josie glared at Lenore. If she says "illegitimate," I'll tear out that plastic gla.s.s and strangle her with my bare hands, Josie thought.

Even the clueless Lenore must have caught the look in Josie's eyes. "Lovely daughter," she finished.

"Her name is Amelia," Josie said, fighting down her anger.

"Sorry," Ted said. "Christine's son, Todd, is escorting Amelia. They'll make a cute couple. And he's Amelia's age."

"What about the matron of honor?" Lenore asked.

"Alyce's husband can escort her. He owns a tux," Josie said.

"But you haven't asked him yet," said the crafty Lenore. "Please say yes, Josie."

Can I do that to my best friend? Josie wondered. Alyce was a strong woman. She was married to a demanding lawyer and she had a toddler. d.i.c.k didn't act much older. She could control him for one day.

"I-," Josie said.

"Josie, don't say yes until Mom agrees to the conditions," Ted said. "d.i.c.k will be properly dressed in a tux, black socks, bow tie and black dress shoes."

"Richard will wear his dinner jacket with the appropriate accessories," Lenore said.

"And he will keep his clothes on for the wedding and the reception," Ted said. "I don't want him mooning anyone. Plus there will be no jokes-or what pa.s.ses for a joke around d.i.c.k."

"I guarantee that Richard's behavior will be impeccable or he will lose his allowance for three months."

"Twelve months," Ted said.

"One full year," Lenore said.

Oh, Alyce, Josie thought, what am I doing to you?

"Josie, please say yes," Lenore said. "I so want to see Ted married and then I want to fly home."

"And I'll do everything in my power to make sure you board that plane to Boca," Josie said-and meant every word.

Chapter 16.

Friday, October 26 St. Clifton's Church was crammed with Molly's mourners. Josie didn't know if people were there to gawk or grieve, but the crowd-and the suburban Gothic chapel's gloomy recesses-helped her slip into the funeral unnoticed.

Josie and Alyce squeezed into a back pew behind a stone pillar. Josie sat next to a pair of gossips. Both women were somewhere south of fifty. One had fluffy brown hair and an orange flowered dress like a slipcover. Her thin, angular friend was encased in black as if mourning her lost youth. Josie thought the woman's dark hair streaked with steel was striking. She mentally named them Mrs. Flower and Mrs. Steel.

"I never thought Molly would get herself murdered," Mrs. Steel said. There was disapproval in her voice.

"She didn't *get herself murdered,'" Mrs. Flower said. "She was killed by that doctor's witchy mother."

"I might prefer death to that mother-in-law," Mrs. Steel drawled.

No, you wouldn't, Josie thought. Not if you knew Ted.

Mrs. Flower simpered and said, "Stop! You're terrible."

Josie figured fluffy Mrs. Flower considered herself a "nice" person but reveled in Mrs. Steel's snarky comments. "Molly was a good sales a.s.sistant," Mrs. Flower said piously. "So helpful when my Gracie married."

The angelic-looking blonde on their left glared at the pair, then slipped her BlackBerry out of her purse and began texting. Josie stared straight ahead and pretended to study the stained gla.s.s.

"Wasn't she going to marry someone else before that vet?" Mrs. Steel asked.

"Yes, what was his name? George," Mrs. Flower said. "George somebody. Had a beard. He sold carpets."

"Until he took off out west somewhere," Mrs. Steel said. "For months it was *George this' and *George that,' and then suddenly she was marrying that vet."

"The vet was better looking," Mrs. Flower said. "Molly was pretty, too."

"I guess, if you like ruffles," Mrs. Steel said. "Did you go to her visitation last night?"

"Yes. So sad," Mrs. Flower said.

"I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress she's buried in."

Mrs. Flower snickered.

"Here comes the sister, Emily," Mrs. Steel said. "She had to work to find a black suit that ugly. Her husband, Brad, is an accountant and looks it. A no account-ant, if you ask me. I heard he invested her inheritance and lost every penny."

"That can't be true," Mrs. Flower said. "They have that big house in Wood Winds and they both drive expensive cars."

"Big dreams, big house, big debts," Mrs. Steel said. "Just because they have expensive things doesn't mean they can afford them."

"You're awful," Mrs. Flower said. She giggled, then smoothed her face into a solemn expression. "Emily is sitting next to that older woman with the cane. That's Aunt Martha, the girls' only close relative after their parents died. She must be eighty. Hasn't stopped crying since she sat down. You'd never guess Emily and Molly were sisters. Molly loved antiques and pretty things. Emily likes everything new, plain, and practical. Almost like a man."

"Look how short her hair is," Mrs. Steel said. "Do you think Emily is gay?"

"She's married," Mrs. Flower said.

They watched the pallbearers roll Molly's white casket up the aisle.

"So? Could be a cover if her husband's gay," Mrs. Steel said. "I've heard in some old St. Louis families the rich father showers money on a gay man to marry his lesbian daughter. Then the couple live as they please as long as they don't cause a scandal."

"I don't think being gay is a scandal anymore," Mrs. Flower said. "And their family money isn't old."

At that, a woman in a navy suit swiveled around and hissed, "Shut up, both of you! Have the decency not to run down that poor girl at her own funeral."

Mrs. Steel paled. Mrs. Flower's cheeks turned red as roses. Both were silent for the rest of the ceremony. That was more respectful, but not as informative, Josie decided.

She learned nothing from the eulogies except that Molly had been a good friend, a sweet person, and a dedicated employee of Denise's Dreams. A young woman with a shiny cap of brown hair said, "Molly helped me realize my dream wedding, but she never got to have hers." She left the podium, weeping.

Her sister Emily said simply, "I loved my sister. Her life was short and ended tragically, but she brought happiness to others. Rest in peace, dear Molly."

The choir sang "O G.o.d, Our Help in Ages Past" as Molly's coffin was rolled to the hea.r.s.e. The funeral service was over.

Josie was surprised to see a receiving line after the ceremony. A frail old woman sat on a folding chair, her cane beside her. Her liver-spotted hands shook and her wrinkled face was wet with tears. Aunt Martha. Emily and her husband stood side by side. Brad the accountant had a pleasant face and a comfortable paunch. Emily was nearly a head taller than her husband.

"Thank you for coming, Alyce," Emily said. "And for dropping by that chicken and artichoke ca.s.serole yesterday. That was so kind."

"That's what neighbors do," Alyce said. "I'm so sorry about Molly. Would you like to come to my home tomorrow for lunch at noon? A change of scene might help. It will just be me and my friend Joanie." Alyce presented Josie by a name close enough to her own that she'd answer to it.

"Joanie was a customer at your sister's shop," Alyce said.

"It would be nice to get out of the house," Emily said.

"There's a long line behind us. I don't want to monopolize you. We'll see you tomorrow." Josie and Alyce patted Aunt Martha's hand and quick-marched out the church door.

"Nice work," Josie said on the way to their cars. "I was hoping to get a chance to talk to Molly's sister. I want to ask Emily about something I heard those two awful women next to me say."

"Was there anything useful in that toxic spew?" Alyce asked.

"One mentioned that Molly had a fiance before Ted named George. I didn't get a last name, but George had a beard and he moved west. I wondered if he was a real fiance, or if Molly was stalking him, too. He might be the killer."

"He'd have to be in town to shoot Molly," Alyce said.

"Maybe she stalked other men and one of them wanted rid of her. Emily might know. I have less than a month to find out who killed Molly," Josie said. "I wanted to talk to her coworkers at Denise's Dreams."

"We saw the owner at the funeral," Alyce said. "Better check if the store is open today."

Josie put her cell on speakerphone and called the shop. They heard this recording: "We are closed today due to a death in the family. We'll open tomorrow at ten o'clock for all your bridal needs."

"That was sweet to say Molly was a member of the family," Josie said, "but it delays me another day. Do you have to get home, or do you want to mystery-shop wedding cakes with me? Harry wants me to shop two branches of the Cakes by Cookie chain."

"If we get to eat samples, I'm in," Alyce said. "But you can't get a cake-tasting appointment at the last minute."

"I have to ask," Josie said. "It's part of the customer service evaluation. Let's try the store on Big Bend, near me."

Josie put her phone on speaker again. "Cakes by Cookie," said a cheery voice. "This is Shirley. How may I help you?"

"I'd like an appointment for a wedding cake tasting," Josie said.

"Congratulations," Shirley said. "When do you want to come in?"

"This afternoon," Josie said.

"You're joking, right?" All the sweetness vanished from Shirley's voice. "You're supposed to make tasting appointments two to three weeks in advance."

Josie could feel the frosting on her phone, and it wasn't b.u.t.ter cream. "I'm sorry," she said.

"You're lucky we happen to have a cancellation," Shirley said. "Get here in half an hour and you can have a tasting. How many in your party?"

"Two," Josie said. "Me and my matron of honor. How many other couples will be at this tasting?"

"None. I was going to throw away the cake samples when that bride cancelled. But you can try them if you get here. I don't have all day to gab on the phone." Shirley hung up.

"Well, that sounds appetizing," Alyce said. "We get to eat the cakes she was going to throw away."

"I think Shirley flunked the *dealing with unexpected requests' test," Josie said. "I have my mystery-shopping paperwork in my car. You want to go with me?"

"As Shirley would say, let's not stand around gabbing," Alyce said. "I have a nanny until two."

Traffic was light on the way to the cake tasting. It was a good time to talk. "Are you working until your wedding?" Alyce asked.